Can you save a relationship that is at its lowest point

United States
March 31, 2009 5:07pm CST
Ive been with my girl for three years. We had a beautiful relationship and were always on the same page. We did everything to together from watching basketball games,going to the movies and going out on a regular basis. I even gave her a promise ring to sure her how much she means to me. She has a really great voice and is beautiful and very talented. She decided to pursue her love for music which is fine but because of that we hardly spend time and the whole relationship has changed. We barely see each other and when we do see each other it does not feel the same. We always argue and most of the time we not happy because we want to spend time with each other but shes to busy. I feel like we close to breaking up and i dont want to loose her but its like our relationship is in quick sand. Is there hope for me and the love of my life
4 people like this
12 responses
• United States
1 Apr 09
With work and dedication, I think anything is possible. But, if you are unhappy and feel you deserve better, then I say move on. I'm going through the same thing with my marriage. We are beyond saving right now and we just need to separate. I'm in the process of pursuing a divorce and moving back to my hometown. I don't feel as though he really loves me, cares about me, or desires for me to be happy. He is only concerned with work and what his buddies tell him he should be. His buddies even tell him that I should act a certain way, and stay with him no matter what he does that might make me miserable. Relationships require more than a job and school put together. It's something that two people both have to be dedicated in. It's not really about chemistry, but more about compassion and understanding. Look deep inside and make a decision based on what you feel will make you really happy. Then put your everything into it. This way if it doesn't work out, there will be no regrets on your part. ttyl
@snow_one (202)
• United States
9 Apr 09
yea i think it is possible if you are willing to try. anything is possible lol but really it all depends if there is still anything left between the two. i know i have made some amazing come backs in a relationiship and it ended up working out.
@kirei24 (252)
• Philippines
2 Apr 09
Of course you can save it. It's up to both of you what action you would take to make your relationship with each other tighter. There are many ways on how you could preserve what you have right now. As i can see both of you just become busy with your careers. You just lost time with each other. Now start with that. Make time for each other and talk to your girl how you feel and think about your relationship. Its not only you should take action. Its better if both of you are making some actions to make your relationship survive. =) goodluck.
1 Apr 09
I've just read this and apart from you being together longer, I am in the same situation. I think the world of my girlriend, but she doesn't seam to have time for me. My next move, as I love her so much, is to get a pen and paper and write her a letter. Somthing that she's can't just delete and can read back in her own time; let her think in time as well. Hope it works out for you, keep it posted, good luck.
• India
1 Apr 09
For sure you can save your relationship with your girl. What you need to do is try to know what she wants. Love is not always to gain something, but it stands for sacrifice for the one you love, for your beloved happiness. If she says something, lend her your ear. Try to be descriptive and honest with her. If both of you love to apend time with each other manage it out for your girl. Try to be mutually understanding. One you start communicating freely, giving importance to your girls work and what she want she will tied with you through an invisible knot which will be hard to reopen and then your relationship will be saved.
@rymebristol (1788)
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
i had proven that once, and it was like you said at it lowest point in a critical way, she was giving up on me for no reason at all, then soon i found out as what she said that she was giving up on me because she was already dying. even what she just said i didn't gave up on her until her last breath. how could i sleep when i know that i've given up on someone who had been fighting all this time because of me. and even if i give up on her, i guess that would be too late cause i had already fallen in love with her so much. i had save our relationship before she was taken away from me. i believe that everything and anyone deserves a second chance and that includes relationship, you are lucky that the person you loved are still around, embrace her like a rare diamond, and make sure that you will do everything just for her, in that way she will feel secure about you. good luck to you pal!
@Lee_Rites (845)
• United States
1 Apr 09
Of course. Even strangers can make a relationship if they choose to. It sounds like you want it to work. The problem is that if she doesn't want it to work, it can be hard and maybe impossible to change her mind.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
i think it is still possible to save such a relationship. it will just take two person involved in the relationship to save it and nothing more. there must be initiative with the two involved and not much comments from their friends and even their family because they are the ones that may actually add injury.
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
there is always a solution to everything..and yeah theres still hope for the both of you! of course! if u too are really as close before as you say then maybe all you need is a big talk, to straighten things out, figure out what both of you really want..if you still want to keep seeing each other, make an effort, but if one wants out, then maybe its time to give the both of you "space"...sometimes thigs become clear when you really lose each other...i dunno..but from my experience, the things that happen always come from a decision..
@vivianchen (2648)
• China
1 Apr 09
Hi Rayg, To me, it sounds like you are not happy that she is so busy to spend times with you. But to think deeply, people spend more times to know each other when them first met, as time goes by, you get to know each other very well, just as you said, you and she always in the same page, and you enjoying being with each other, you trust each other. When this come to a level, sh think you will understand her and will support her for whatever she do, that's why she can go out and be busy, becasue she knows that you will be there for her. Justimagine, she is upset oneday because of some problem of her work, when she got back, you are not happy with her, she will get very piss off if that happens, then your relationship will end up very bad. So, if you love her, support her, she will love you even more. You can told her that you miss her when she is not around, i think she can make the balance for you. Best wishes!
@nomoso (652)
• India
1 Apr 09
Yes ofcourse i can save it. Just give importance to that relationship like the most important relationship in your life. Then see the change in the relationship it can change your life and her life too. I suggest you to join in the music class or help her in her passion in music. Get her some nice cds etc.. you can always come with good ideas when you want to make a relationship important.
@smartie0317 (1612)
• United States
31 Mar 09
I think it can be, but it seems more so the problem is with her than with you. I mean, if she doesn't want to put effort, it's not going to work. Relationships are two people making it work, not just one.