Where Is A Good Place For A 30-Something Woman To Meet Single Men?

United States
April 1, 2009 6:37pm CST
I really want to start getting out there in the dating world again. I haven't had a date in over a year now. I'm a single mother who doesn't get to go out a whole lot, but I actually have no children this Saturday night and I want to go do something, maybe get out there and meet someone. Now, I'm not into clubbing or the bar scene, so what other places can a woman meet a single man? I've been taking my daughter bowling every other Friday night. I keep hoping that a single man will approach me there, but I've been doing this for a couple months now and I've had no such luck. Do you have any ideas on where I could go to meet someone?
9 people like this
27 responses
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
1 Apr 09
Have you considered something like e-harmony? A recently divorced friend of mine met a woman that way, they seem to be hitting it off pretty well. A single female friend of mine did the "nyspace thing" but I think she found that most of the guys she met that way were looking for booty calls (kinda like they said in that movie!). Good luck!
4 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 09
I have tried online personals, but I just can't seem to find a man on them either. I guess I am just a lost cause.
2 people like this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
2 Apr 09
You are NOT a lost cause! sheesh! lol I heard them talking about this on the radio the other day. They were talking about top 10 places to meet singles or something. I wish I could remember more of them for you. Myspace was up there. I think the mentioned clubs. Dog parks were up there (I live in south florida there are several of those here) Theres a thing down here called "events and adventures" that sounds cool to me, If I were single and looking, I would try that. I don't know if they have that in other places around the country (haven't checked your profile to see where you live). To me doing something FUN that you enjoy doing even without thinking about meeting someone, sounds ideal to me. The bowling sounded good, but I imagine after a while you tend to see the same people over and over again, and I don't imagine you do a LOT of mingling. Maybe just focus on what you enjoy doing for YOU and do those things and if you're lucky you'll meet someone that enjoys doing some of the same things as you.
3 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 09
Yes, I know I'm not a lost cause, but man, sometimes it just feels like it. Maybe just sticking to my usualy things like the bowling and taking the kids to park is a good idea. I mean, I need a guy who is understanding that I'm a mother and if they are interested in me after seeing me with my children then that is definitely a plus.
2 people like this
@Opal26 (17691)
• United States
1 Apr 09
Hey singlemommy! I have no idea! I am way older than you and haven't been out in many years! And even when I was "out" on the dating scene I hated it! I hated going clubbing with a passion! I never felt that you could actually meet anyone that way! At least no one decent! I think that it is just as hard now as it was then! Unfortunately, I think that you have to patient and not try so hard! You just have to wait and just keep doing what you're doing and go to the parks and bowling and stuff like that with your kids and eventually you will meet someone. The only safe way to meet someone that is decent usually is through people that you know.
4 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 09
Yeah, maybe I should just keep doing what I am doing. I never have been able to meet anyone at the bar or at the club either. I'm no hottie and most of the men there are looking for that. I don't consider myself ugly, but I think I'm rather plain.
2 people like this
@Opal26 (17691)
• United States
2 Apr 09
Listen up you! You are a beautiful woman! You have alot to offer a good man! You just have to be patient and wait for the right man to find you! Stop looking and worrying! You will find someone when you least expect it! I can promise you that! You have a good heart and are intelligent and are worthy of someone wonderful! Just wait...
3 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 09
Thank you! I know I should be more patient. I know I'm not ugly and that one day a man will see how beautiful I am inside and out. I'm just going to keep doing what I have been doing. Doing things with the kids. Hopefully, I will find a man worthy of me!
2 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 09
Let me warn you though don't use Myspace. Myspace has too many low rate men on that site. You get online & you think someone is just a friend & the next thing you they are messaging you & ask for something more. I have deleted people on my list for I was only wanting them online for just a friend. That is why I say a woman & man can not be just friends cause men are always thinking more. At least it has happen too many times to me. So I do not have a male friend anymore.
4 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 09
Yes, I do have Myspace, but I only add people who I know, so I have only friends and family on there. You can't be too careful anymore, you are so right!
2 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 09
Hey this is how I feel too about fate. I believe fate will bring him to you, just be patient. Let him come to you for I believe in my heart he will come to you in due time.
3 people like this
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
3 Apr 09
I guess what you said about myspace guys are true... most of them are just there to mess with hearts and leave false hopes and dreams... been there...
1 person likes this
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
2 Apr 09
I think that you are doing good by taking your daughter bowling. Maybe, you could ask a female friend or two to go with you this weekend. When I was single, I actually had to be he one to break the ice with th guys I ended up dating. If you see someone interesting, flash a smile, or make it a point to say hello or ask a question. believe that love finds us when we least expect it to. It wasn;t until I stopped looking and became pretty comfortable with being alone that my husband walked into my life.
4 people like this
• United States
3 Apr 09
Yes, I do have a single lady that I work with who wants to take her daughter bowling with me and my daughter. I'm hoping we can start doing this regularly, that is if I can get a babysitter for my son to do so. He is only 2 and if I take him to the bowling alley then he will be trying to run around which wouldn't be good at all.
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
3 Apr 09
That is great!! It is just a matter of you deciding to share your life with others. Hugs!
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 09
All I can say whatever you do is be safe, for you have your children to think about too. Believe it or not a long time ago I had a man to approach me at Chuckee Cheese. I told him so sorry I was happily married. If you don't say that in a sentence when men approach you the first thing they ask are you happy??? This totally ticks me off. I can not stand for man to ask me that, if I was not happy why would I go out with a bum that would date me married. I think that is sick. But this man was very nice to me & gave a compliment & said what a lucky husband you have in your life. I told him thanks & I am lucky to have my true love in my life too. Just be careful when dating for you & your children sake. Good luck, but again don't rush. I tell a lot of women that if I was single again I think I would wait til my child is grown for the evil step parent is really out there, believe me my daddy married an evil woman & thank God I was grown when he married her too.She cusses my daddy & my daddy never cusses her for he is good man. My daddy has his problems for no one is completely perfect but all in all he is a good man. He takes care of her, gives her anything she wants but still never happy, my poor daddy.
4 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 09
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad marrying such a bad woman. I agree, I must be careful and I think it is partly my "carefullness" that has kept me out of the dating game for so long. I am very picky when it comes to dating. I plan to stay that way too.
2 people like this
• Philippines
2 Apr 09
That's right, be picky and set your standards. Having standards is good for you. It's like setting a goal with a plan.
2 people like this
@moondancer (7434)
• United States
2 Apr 09
I know you are wanting to meet someone. Going to bars is not the way to go. I see these commercials on tv all of the time about people that work all of the time and have no time to go out to find someone. Or people that have no place to go to find someone. Also they are tired of the dating scenes and want to let someone else find someone for them. You can do this to. The place is Harmony.com I think. They say they find the right person for you. They weed out the ones that wouldn't be right for you. I believe the bio is free. It's worth a shot to check it out.
4 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 09
In an immediate "this Saturday" sort of situation, I have no idea. Looking more long term, you could take a class at your local community college. A ceramics class, photography class, creative writing class, something fun and relaxing that you're interested in. That way you know anyone you might meet in class would have at least that much in common with you. I don't recommend CraigsList as a place to look. There are some incredibly bizarre people on there.
3 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 09
Wow! I never even thought about Craigslist! That would be weird! Yes, I wish I could take some classes, I think it would be a whole lot of fun. Maybe some day soon I can, I will just have to wait and see.
2 people like this
@dragon54u (31604)
• United States
2 Apr 09
I've thought about this since you started the discussion and I have to ask something I hope won't offend you but I just don't understand--why the great need to have a man? You have your friends, you have your children and your family, why the great longing for a man? Why not devote yourself to raising your children and avoid all the drama? Now, I'm 54 and done with them after a lot of love affairs and a failed marriage of 19 years so maybe I just don't understand. But honestly, when I see all the stories about single mothers whose boyfriends mistreat them or their children I wonder why women can't just be mothers and pick up their love lives when the children are gone or at least in high school? Like I said, I don't want to offend you and I'm not criticizing you, I just don't understand. I hope you'll take the question in the spirit it was asked.
2 people like this
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
2 Apr 09
Oh dragon...I hope she is not insulted either. You spoke my thoughts exactly. I rarely dated for the longest time for the reasons you mentioned above. Even now...3 of my girls are grown and moved out and I have a 15 yr old....I still don't want to get all tangled up in someone else's life nor them mine. There is a man that I see on occassion but it is no complicated relationship that drains either of us emotionally. I did date a man for a few months a couple of years ago and what a freakin nitemare. But like you, I came to this way of thinking after too many bad experiences. I do remember a time where it was so important for me to have a man in my life.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Apr 09
Neither of you have insulted me. I take your advice to heart. You do ask a very good question and honestly, I'm not sure what the answer would be. I love being a mother and my life is devoted to my children. My son, I raise 100% by myself, his father isn't involved in his life at all, doesn't pay child support or anything for that matter. My son, is actually the man in my life and he is only 2. I think maybe one reason why I wish I had a man in my life is because I do not have any family who lives close to me and thus, it makes me feel all alone. Maybe that is weird in a sense, I'm not sure, but it is how I feel. I really would just love to have someone that we can both do our own thing, but also be able to spend time together when we feel like it. I'm sure that me not having a boyfriend is a good thing, but I'm not going to say that having one would be a bad thing either. Either way, I know I should be happy.
2 people like this
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
3 Apr 09
Actually, single, I understand perfectly well what you are trying to say here. I do have a man that I go out and do things with and who is very special to me. We have seen each other off and on for years and I've never involved him with my kids nor any of my personal life. There is no pressure on either side ever. He has a very busy life also and on occassion when my daughter is not here, we'll get together and hang out. You are still young...I understand you need adult companionship also.
2 people like this
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
3 Apr 09
Ya got me! I will be 31 in a few weeks. I don't get out very often either and when I do have time away from the kids I usually just hang with my sister. Not meeting any guys there, that is for sure.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Apr 09
Wow! You sound so much like me! My father came to visit over the weekend and too my son back home with him to stay with him and my mother until Easter when I will be going down to visit. So far, I haven't done much at all!! I have went to the gym once this week and out to eat once, but that's it. I've spent a lot of quality time with my daughter who lives primarily with her father, but other than that, nothing. It is nice having a break though and I am happy that my parents are willing to do this for me every few months. It really does help take some pressure off of being a single mother. So, you will be 31 in a few weeks? I will be 31 in a few weeks too!!! My birthday is May 4, when is yours?
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 09
I know I already posted earlier. But I feel compelled to tell you more. I firmly believe that you have lost your groove....but Stella we are gonna get it back. So scroll up and read my previous post about confidence. Okay....so now onto places to meet decent guys that aren't looking for a booty call. 1. Meetup.com Places to meet new people, single mommy groups in your area, so many groups to join....and even singles groups. 2. The local bookstore. My favorite is Barnes and Noble. Browse the store for books that interest you. 3. Starbucks Most Starbucks have free internet access. Do your work there and make conversation with the people around you. 4. Believe it or not the GYM might be a good place to meet men. I got hit on when I was dripping with sweat (even had the boob sweat marks under my baggy shirt), wore my worst pair of sweat pants with stains, and my face was all red from working my fat but on the elliptical. LOL And trust me I am a heavy girl...but I had the "fake" confidence going. REMEMBER meeting GOOD single guys isn't about specifically going out to meet guys. Your goal is to go out and meet new people and regain your groove. So don't be disappointed if you don't meet a guy when you go out....be glad that you met new people and by chance you might meet a good guy that isn't just looking for a booty call. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP....CONFIDENCE UP (all guys are attracted to a confident woman that look them in the eye).....Feel good about yourself....wear that power outfit that you have. Go out and buy something that makes you feel good when you wear it. Good luck to you and let me know how everything goes. If you want you can PM and I can be your confidence cheerleader in your corner.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Apr 09
You are totally a confidence cheerleader! Thanks so much. Yes, I am a member at the local YMCA and I have been trying to go as often as I can. They offer daycare there and it really comes in handy for a single mother. I took my daughter and her cousin there Monday to go swimming and the lifeguard kept talking to me. It was nice to have someone who wanted to talk to me. Whether he was just being nice or if he was interested, I'm not sure, but it was great getting to talk to him. There isn't a Starbucks or a Barnes and Noble in the town that I live in, so I'm out of luck in that aspect, but a single lady I work with and I are going to try and start taking our daughters bowling together. They are the same age and we are hoping they will have a lot of fun. Who knows maybe she will be able to introduce me to someone. I'm hoping it will warm up soon so I can take the kids to the park regularly, who knows, maybe I will run into a single daddy! So, my confidence is up, up, up! I'm not going to let myself get down and if I do, I'm going to be contacting OceanZealot, my personal confidence cheerleader! Thanks so much!
@camomom (7537)
• United States
5 Apr 09
Sorry, I have no clue. I think if it's meant to be it will happen and you shouldn't have to go looking for someone.
2 people like this
@eshaan (6193)
• India
3 Apr 09
no ideas friend...this is not my category question...actually today is the day that i am not getting single discussion that i can respond, not the fault of you people friend....but i hardly know about the topic, so i started a discussion today, after many many days
2 people like this
@iamsolucky (1243)
• Philippines
3 Apr 09
Concentrate on yourself, pamper yourself like a way of taking care and being concern for your health, beauty and overall wellness. Maybe join a chat with guys aged 30 above who also looks for a date. Join chat (romance chats), i hope you can get what you really want. happy mylotting!
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
2 Apr 09
I think your moving in the right direction. Getting out and doing things that interest you is a great way to meet new people. If you have any other interests I would say pursue them and see what happens. Maybe the gym would be a good place Most of them offer childcare with their memberships so you could exercise and have the chance to meet someone nice and healthy..lol..take care.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Apr 09
I actually joined the local YMCA a few weeks ago. It is a great place to go! They offer the daycare for my children which is awesome! I did take my daughter and her cousin swimming there on Monday because they were out of school so I took a vacation day to spend it with them. I actually did get to talk to the lifeguard. Whether or not he was being polite or interested in me, I'm not sure, but it was nice to get to meet someone new. He walked over and talked to me for a few minutes and then said that he was going to move down to the other end of the pool and told me that I could move my chair down there too. I didn't realize that he wanted me to move down there with him or I would have done it. After a while, he came back and sat down beside me and talked some more. Maybe he was just bored and wanted someone to talk to or he was interested. Either way, it made me feel good that someone wanted to talk to me!
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
3 Apr 09
I'm thinking he was interested Especially if he came to you a second time. Sometimes playing a little hard to get is key..not so much hard to get but..ok if and ok if not. Way to go!
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Apr 09
Thanks!
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
2 Apr 09
I don't know singlemommy. I meet most men at my workplace as I work in the public. Get a job in a convenience store and you'll meet tons of people. I don't go clubbing either. I have met men in the laundrymat, library etc. Thing is ....I wasn't looking to either. People just come up to me and start talking ....not just men. I'm surprised that you didn't meet someone in the bowling alley. I'm thinking you'll meet someone when you are least trying to.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Apr 09
Oh my gosh, you bring back so many memories! I worked in a convenience store about 10 years ago and I met so many men working there. There was always a man hitting on me all the time. I actually got asked out a few times. I even dated a couple of them, but it didn't turn into anything serious. Wow! That has been so long ago!
• Canada
2 Oct 09
my mother once gave me an awsome piece of advice. "Quit looking!!!" LOL She told me that the best way to find someone was to take myself off of the market, and just not look. I met my husband on line in a writing forum. With datying being the furthest thing from our minds, we became friends, and then "life just happened." We've now been married for two wonderful years. BTW, the night we met on line, I was slightly tipsy (OK DRUNK!!!!) at my father's place, during a family party. LOL LOL LOL I took a break from the festivities (he was playing some really awful music!), logged into my laptop, and found him on a writing site.
1 person likes this
@Canellita (12058)
• United States
2 Apr 09
Well that will depend on what kind of men it is you are interested in meeting. Openings at art galleries are a good place, museums and places that hold lectures, local book clubs are good. Have you ever visited the meetup web site? (Just add .com to the name.) You can type in your zip code and see a list of groups in your area of people who like to get together around the things that interest them.
1 person likes this
@wakinsey (141)
• United States
2 Apr 09
My vote goes to the internet. I met my wife on an a singles dating site. My only advice is don't worry about trying to look spotless. Be honest and include things you like, dislike, and things you will not tolerate (very important).
1 person likes this
@enola1692 (3325)
• United States
2 Apr 09
here is a story you might like my friend played slingo online all the time an met a nice guy onit an to make a long story short they finly had a meet ing face to face an 10 years later they are still happily marreid I was into the theater doing plays an backstage work an met some nice guys there I even had a couple ask me out but I was already married so youknow how that gose but if you have a lttle theater in you city try helping out or trying out for something an you be surprise the people you meet
1 person likes this
@ajithlal (14568)
• India
2 Apr 09
I think you should try everywhere. Love can be found anywhere and everywhere, most times we need to open our eyes to see it. I think you should try internet including yahoo chat, internet chats, internet dating services. I think you should try to go to different parties, birthday parties, wedding parties, friend's houses and tries to make new friendship with new people and you will be able to find the right person in one of this places.