I am so worried about my boys because right now.................................

United States
April 3, 2009 6:54pm CST
they are not doing so well in school. They are intelligent boys but it seems to me as if this generation of children are very lazy and are easily distracted by all of the negativity around them. Peer pressure is stronger then ever before. I am so fearful of my children repeating their grades ( one in 7th and one in 9th). They are in their right grades and want them to continue. I know that I am stressing them out because they told me but i cant help it and I find it so hard not to say anything. However, I do pray for them and with them about school and I holding out on faith that they will make it through this. Are your children suffering in school? If not, thank God and please share and if so, please share and thank God anyway!
1 person likes this
14 responses
• United States
4 Apr 09
I think that you are doing great to worry about their school work and to pray for them. I do not have children but I keep an eye on my neices and nephews grades. Try setting up a conference with the teacher in the classes that they are having the hardest time in. (those grade have so many teachers it would be hard to talk to all of them) If you can talk to them then you could have your boys concentrate on bringing the grade up in that one class while maintaing the grades they have in the other classes. Another thing you may try is to talk to them and decide on a set time and that they will do their homeowork. Let them have a say in the time but be firm in that you will check it (even if you do not understand it you will notice major problems if there are any) Your concern shows that you really care, it will also agrivate your boys but that is what parents are for. If you agree on a set time to work on school stuff then they will have no reason to claim stress because it is planned everyday. Good luck with it and remember that their teachers most likely have an email address that you can talk to them through if you cannot meet them in person.
• United States
4 Apr 09
Thank you okkidokitokki for your advice. I have spoken w/the teachers and I am going to take you up on your suggestion and set a time for them to do their homework. Take care and God Bless!
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
4 Apr 09
Hi Linda! Great to hear from you, but sorry about the reason! My girlfriend has the same problem with her girls! They are 16 & 17! And they have been having problems with school for years and have been left back too! I wish I could give you something that would make things better, but all I can say is that I will pray too. I know how difficult it is for them to have all this pier pressure on them. Just try to tell them the best way that you can that they need to keep trying so that they can get out of school and get on with their lives. Why don't you email me tomorrow so we can talk some more. I have missed talking to you alot!
2 people like this
@cbjones (1157)
• United States
4 Apr 09
I've been there...as a kid who had a concerned parent stressing him out. I don't have any helpful advice unfortunately. My experience of walking the tightrope of passing or failing didn't teach me much because It happened more than once. I had the mindset of repeating a grade being no big deal at the time. I was a knucklehead for thinking that.
2 people like this
@chookie1971 (2276)
• Australia
4 Apr 09
I have 2 children at school. One of them is doing really well. I am happy with that but I am concern for bullying though. My other child is not doing so well. I try to guide this child into doing the right thing at school but she always gets into trouble all the time. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do with her. I have spoken to couple of teachers about her and even the teachers don't know what to do with her.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Apr 09
I believe a whole lot of parents across the globe are having difficulties with their children. We just have to stay prayerful and be strong and trust that God will answer our prayers. Thank you for responding chookie1971 and God Bless!
• Philippines
4 Apr 09
I think you need not be too much worried, As you have said they are intelligent,it might not show on academic grades it is fine as long as they above passing and not the nerdy type the are flexible to adopt to environment. When they will get old this will be more important knowing how to handle problems in life.
1 person likes this
@yanyinju (86)
• China
4 Apr 09
Same things happen in different countries.Chinese attach great importance to education.Dealing with this needs patience.I think I am a good student and good boy.But sometimes my parents did the same as you.They were worried about my study when I was a teenage.It is ususlly to control adolescents.But later,when they grow older,they would be better.This is common.Don't be too worried about your boys.
1 person likes this
@ladysakurax (1163)
• Canada
4 Apr 09
Hi Linda, Sorry about your worries. I don't have children but I can share my experience. When I was a teen, studying wasn't my interest and I would pretend to study and just go throughout my classnotes really quickly. my mom trusted in me and really wanted me to have a good job and become a doctor. However, I didn't really bother until I got a letter from school saying that i need to be in a "special class". Like in that class, all the teens who didn't do well would be there so the teaching becomes smoother. I was soo ashamed of myself and I think I woke up. Eversince i got there, I really studies hard to get out of there. At the moment, I am not at med school but I am in actuary to become a mathematicien. Make your children understand why you want them to success. My mom worked hard all her life and I didn't want her effort to go to waste. Every parents want the best for their children and you are one of them. When my mom put pressure on me, it never worked. I had to get motivation and set a goal. Ask them what they want to be later and they have to ask themselves back if what they give is enough. They need discipline in terms that they have to control the balance between leisures and studies. Seeing my mom working from 8am to 11pm motivates me enough. I hope this is helpful to you. I hope they will success. Goodluck
1 person likes this
@Trensue (5252)
• United States
4 Apr 09
You mention that you are praying and that is one tool. You have not said anything about visiting with their teachers and seeing what other things may be helpful as well. For example, I tutor several students on line and there is no cost. There are many after school programs for students who are struggling. Check out all the options.
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@lymevat (47)
• United States
4 Apr 09
I think they are teenage now, and begin to feel themself similar with adult. We all know teenage is hard to control by parents. Parents should notice this difference and adjust ourselves to treat them like adult. I think what we can do is try to understand them and listen to them. Help them to face their problems.
1 person likes this
@punlonnjack (1309)
• United States
4 Apr 09
My step daughter struggled for years then we home schooled her but then she got lazier. We finally made her go back but she dropped out at age 17.Nothing much you can do these days except encouragement. My girlfriend has three boys and she is going threw the same problem.they are even getting into serious troubles and with the law.They are raised in a christian home and go to church every sunday but i seems its not enough.You just have to let them learn the hard way of life.Sorry to say.
• United States
4 Apr 09
Also wanted to add the more you pressure a child for school it seems the worse they do.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Apr 09
And that is what I have to work on...........not stressing them out.......anymore, lol. Oh boy, it's tough punlonnjack but thank you so much for responding and God Bless!
• United States
4 Apr 09
Linda- It can definately be frustrating when our children are not doing as well as we want them to, or expect them to do. I think something to keep in mind is they may very well be where they are because that is just where they are at. I'm not sure how much is going on, but have you thought of screening them for special education? I'm a special education teacher and I know that sometimes just that little bit of extra support can be a world of difference. And children can be what we call gifted special ed, meaning that they have normal intelligence but have a learning disorder that is causing some problems. It's definately nothing to feel ashamed of, or guilty of as a parent. Personally, if all students had Individualized Educational Plans, we might see even more children being successful. If it is just that they need a bit more direction, you may wish to invest in tutoring to help them get a handle on studying. Setting goals for grades sometimes works, especially if the child is extrinsically motivated (i.e. dinner out, new movie, etc). Good luck to you. Namaste-Anora
@phoenix79 (304)
• United States
4 Apr 09
My daughter will start next year. I pray that I will not have trouble with her about her education. I know it has to be hard to watch your children fall farther behind. I will pray for you and your boys
@specific (156)
• South Korea
4 Apr 09
HI,linda!I want to share my experience with you on your children's foot.When i was a teenager,i disliked school life and studied badly at school.But i am interested in English ,and I really did very well in English learning.My mom have ever given me much pression which made me very intensed .You can talk to them and know about their interests which can guide them how to do in future.If they do well in exam,try to please them with what they want.So they can feel the goods from study.And do not worry about them greatly.Even though now they are not doing well in school ,it does not mean that some years later,do still stay the same.
• Canada
4 Apr 09
they are now in a stage that they will do this kind of mistakes daily. but you have to keep control on them other wise they ll indulge in that kind of activity only. be careful abt them best of luck