he doesn't like what i cook!
By maissj
@maissj (111)
Philippines
April 6, 2009 12:56am CST
what will you do if your husband/partner does not like what you cook? you see, i am a stay at home mom with one child, and usually i would lovingly cook food for him so that when he gets home the dinner's all done, but sometimes he wouldn't eat what i cooked and preferred food from his mom's, my mother cooks delicious food and she influenced me to cook food that's rich in flavor, whenever we have visitor's eating here, they usually say that it tastes good, and would sometime come back here to eat with us.. but my husband's used to bland tasting food, he would eat veggies boiled in some ginger and salt, and that's good enough for him...and i like those with sauces. sometimes he see that it hurts me that he's not enjoying what i cook and eat it reluctantly, but as any of us, we wouldn't want that, we would prefer that he enjoys what he eats even if it means he's leaving out what we cook.
i was starting to get used to him eating food from his mom's, but at the same time it takes my love for cooking. maybe i am thinking since he doesn't like what i cook, i wont cook for him anymore, but i know it will hurt our relationship if i stopped cooking for him...if you were in my situation, what would you feel? what do you think should i do?
7 people like this
24 responses
@strawberrychocodahi (4818)
• Philippines
6 Apr 09
Naturally i would be hurt to to think that hubby rejected the effort i made him just to finish and cook the food. But you know your hubby well my dear, so instead of really giving him what you like, why not give him the food that he likes more so in that way you can please him and at the same time feel good about yourself.
You see, a couple is still two different individual with two different taste. When your husband got fond of eating boiled or steamed food like what his mom used to make, then better ask also your mother in law with this and she can also help you.
I don't mind saying to my hubby if he did not like what i prepare. It will sometimes makes him feel guilty if i pouted because he is not touching the food i made for him. But then i should be on the smart side, so i would rather cook what he likes, and also prepare a food i like.
@mamalev (264)
• Philippines
6 Apr 09
My hubby is so much like that he is so used to his parents' cooking and I am miles from being able to cook like them. But as time goes by he gets a little used to my own cooking, there are hits and misses but he has no choice but to consume what I have prepared for him lol. Of course at first, I get hurt when he would say that the food tastes just ok but then that's what I like in him he doesn't say words that would hurt me. If it's ok, eat it then that's what I always used to tell him. Now that we've been together for years, we just joke and laugh about my cooking. Cheer up girl. Relationships are more than just food and cooking, if you know what i mean *)
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
6 Apr 09
Hi, I would just allow him to cook his own foods the way that he wants it. Or I may prepare his foods to be bland while you can cook yours with the rich flavor. Do this and see how it turns out. Just because you don't cook like him, does not mean that you are not a great cook! Besides having some kind of flavor vs no flavor wouold be my cup of tea! Don't let his rejection bother you, you are doing great! He should be at least grateful that you are even cooking for him, Do he knows how many women won't have dinner cooked for a man when he gets home? And what about the women that can't cook worth a lit??? He should count his blessings!
1 person likes this
@wahmivy (776)
• Philippines
6 Apr 09
Same home setup here... SAHM with one child (mine's 2.5 yrs old). I'm just learning to cook though and I know some of the things I make are borderline disastrous, but my husband is always supportive. You, on the other hand, already know how to cook, but your husband prefers his food bland. I think you should keep on cooking the way you prefer, but for compromise's sake, how about lessening the flavor and then maybe you could use condiments to add flavor to your portion?
1 person likes this
@srganesh (6340)
• India
7 Apr 09
It is hard for anybody to come out of the taste his mother gave.After all,that is the first taste we get and is natural to long for it.It will be better,if you asked for the recipes from his mother and cook in that style.Slowly,he will understand your love for him and will start tasting your recipes soon.Cheers!
1 person likes this
@cagefan (82)
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
Talk to him seriously and ask him what kind of food that he wants you to cook and then if you don't know how to cook according to his preference then try to study and experiment. The most important thing is to communicate with each other.
@feathers26 (865)
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
I think you need to cook the food that he likes
or you may go your mom's house and learn how
to cook your husbands favorite food.
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
6 Apr 09
I would sit down and have a conversation with him. He is trying not to hurt your feelings. Maybe go to his Mom and ask her to show you how she prepares some of his dishes. That would make him happy because he will feel that you are trying to cook the way he is used to. I can understand his liking food seasoned the way that his Mom seasons them because I cook the same way as her. My husband doesn't say anything. He comes from a home where they used seasons regularly so my food is definitely different than he is used to having at home.
@maissj (111)
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
we have talked about it, and he knew that not eating what i cook sometimes hurts my feelings, and i tried cooking like his mom, and i am starting and struggling to imitate her ways of cooking, and i know some time from now, he'll see that i can cook the way he likes it, but i know he appreciates my efforts and loves me more for it, thanks! smile, mai
1 person likes this
@rainwater (352)
• China
6 Apr 09
i think you maybe do meals for him,you maybe learn cooks form your mom.Maybe you try him to fit your food.It is need time.Bist wishes.
1 person likes this
@carolluvyou (460)
• United States
7 Apr 09
Make him some meals that you can freeze and he can just heat up when he doesnt like what you cook. Or mix some of what he likes with some of what you like to cook and you can gradually get him to eat your cooking. Or better yet, make him cook once in a while to see what its like to prepare a meal for someone else. Maybe that will help encourage his taste buds out of hiding!
@maissj (111)
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
that's another problem, he doesn't like pre heated foods, i am now starting to make him cook so that i will know how his preferences in seasoning, sometimes i ask him to cook with me and encourage him to adjust the way i usually cook his food and and ask him for suggestions, and just yesterday, he tried cooking adobo and i liked it too, it tastes good, i think from now on i will make him cook for us... just joking. we talked after eating his adobo and we plan to experiment next time, and merge our ways of cooking, maybe we'll come up with a dish that we will both enjoy. smile, mai
@hotsummer (13835)
• Philippines
6 Apr 09
i would still cook for him i am in your place. but i think that i would adjust. i will just cook what he would like to eat. why would i insist in giving him something that he does not like to eat. as i see it he likes bland food and so it is not hard to cook those kind of foods. you will just have to boil them and served them on the table.
1 person likes this
@ddhawkins63 (682)
• United States
7 Apr 09
I have the opposite problem. I am the bland food lover and he loves spicy foods etc. I make adjustments to how I cook. If it is something that I can cook, take some out for me and then add the flavors for him to finish cooking it. If I can't do that, I cook how he likes it. I figure he goes out and works all day so he should be able to enjoy what he is eating. Most people do like more flavor added to foods. It's no reflection on you, when you like blander foods, it's very difficult to eat things with those flavors in it. I know that sounds crazy but it's true. I could cook the way I like things and he would eat it anyway, but the joy in it for me is that he likes it.
@maissj (111)
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
yes, i feel the same too, he's out working all day, so i have to make it a point that he enjoys his dinner, i think i should make sacrifices and if i have to cook separate food for him, i will, i love my husband and i don't want him to feel that i am neglecting him, it's the least i can do for him. cook for him the way he wanted it to be done. and if i see him enjoying what i cooked, then it makes me happy too, thanks, i will try your suggestion, as i've said, we already talked and we plan to experiment in cooking together in his day off work. smile, mai
@fasyahime (629)
• Malaysia
8 Apr 09
if it's up to me i will tel him to cook his own food..or find better girlfriend..huhu
@gtdonna (1738)
•
7 Apr 09
Here is what i ahve found helpful when I moved from my Caribbean home country to live in Italy. My boyfriend, totally did not like Caribbean food and would only eat chicken curry when I cook it and use to have lunch by his mother.
This is what I did, I took it upon myself ot visit his mom and asked her to show me how she prepared her dishes and also asked her what are his favorite dishes and how he likes his food (rememebr Moms know best), so gradually I started to cook the dishes the way his mother did and believe you me, he started to eat them because it reminded him of his mom's cooking.
That did not mean that I give up on my native food, just that, I try to cook more fo what he likes and some of what I like as well, and we finally came to a solution and after a year, he was literally eating out of my hands and not his mom.
@suhaparimal (1)
• United States
8 Apr 09
I think u should cook all special dishes u know each a day and keep eating those in front of your husband,feeding your child and without offering him the dish.Just make little amount of the dish and not in large quantity.See that you eat everything and leave a bit or a spoon of dish or a very little amount for him to taste and see how it works.
@shebeck (114)
• Jamaica
7 Apr 09
I think it would help if you ask your husband honest opinion on what he thinks about your cooking, and don't be offended if he says negative things. Just ask him how he would like his food done and what he likes to eat and do it to please him. My husband cooks better than me and I don't mind it one bit, he sometimes tells me that he don't like what I cook and I try to cook what he likes and the way he like it done.
Good luck.
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
8 Apr 09
I can understand you completely. When I first married it was much the same way. You need to find some middle ground. Going from bland to grant sometimes men have a hard time. Maybe tone down your meals alittle and then slowly buildt them up to the way you like them. Or make your sauces and then add to your plate at the table, make it optional. This way you both get what you want and no one gets their feelings hurt.
I understand the hurt of him going to his mothers to eat, that can and it will break up your family. You should all be together as a family for your evening meal, not appart.
@sassymama1974 (178)
• United States
7 Apr 09
I always tell my hubby if you dont like it dont eat it
