Sometimes I could not help screaming to my 'trouble two' son, Am i a bad mom?

United States
April 6, 2009 3:18pm CST
My son now 2 years old and 3 months. He is learning everthing and want do everything by hemself. If he was doing sth and could not done it, he throw the tantram and crying. if i help, he will cry, if i not help, he will cry too. sometime he want do sth and i don't know what he want to do, he just fall down on the floor, crying very lound and hard! sometimes I felt so tired and could not help screaming to him, but after that i felt so regret for him. am I a bad mom? how you guys to handle the trouble two kids?
3 people like this
12 responses
@pamela80 (37)
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
well its normal for a toddler to have tantrums especially at that stage.you have to be patient and carefull for the things you might do.its okey to yell at them but it could not help you anyways,im a mother too and thats our job to be patient and to control ourselves.hhmmm!toddlers its hard i know.i understand you sometimes we lose our temper but it doesnt mean were not a good mom.dont feel too bad about it.
• United States
7 Apr 09
Yes, I am a mom and i need be smart to treat my son. Yelling is frustrated and it could not help me feel better! I will try to stop yelling and it is really a bad model for kids!
7 Apr 09
You are not a bad mom, just being human thats all and so is your, at a difficult age, son. It is a very frustrating time for both of you but a sense of humour can help a lot. Try to see it from the funny side, this may even help your son if he can see you laughing rather than going red in the face with anger. I understand totally, been through it twice and as I say, laughter really is the best medicine so do try to see the funny side before he starts crying or he will start to feel bad about it. Balance and a smile in motherhood is worth a lot.
• United States
7 Apr 09
Good piont! a sense of humour can help a lot in every thing, in life. Love your idea!
@mamalev (264)
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
Hi my son is a lot like yours he would throw tantrums and the problem is sometimes I don't know the reason why he's like that so I would also scream at him. I feel guilty a lot of times too when I yell at him but I'm just human and not superwoman who can read his mind. Sometimes he would ask me to do something but then when I do that he would cry for example he likes to watch tv I turn it on just when he changes his mind and wants to go outside. Kids!!! Good luck to us moms lol. Hang in there, there's more to come I tell you. Mine is turning 3 this June and he's a bossy little creature.
• United States
7 Apr 09
You are so right! so many times I don't know the reason why my son got angry and began crying! I can't read him too! Thanks for your print!
• United States
7 Apr 09
No that does not make you a bad mom. Every mom does it sometimes. Try letting him just throw the tantram and walking away. When he realizes it's not getting your attention he may stop. If he doesn't stop then lay in the floor and throw a tantram yourself. I know that sounds silly but it shows him how silly he looks and it may make him stop. Good luck and never think your a bad mother because you get upset sometimes, we all do it.
• United States
7 Apr 09
I will try throw a tantram myself! sounds funny and maybe it will work for my son! Thanks!
@youless (94734)
• Guangzhou, China
7 Apr 09
I can understand it quite well as I am also a mom. Sometimes my son also drives me crazy and I can't help shouting at him, too. I feel very bad after that. In fact I also feel hurtful. Yesterday I apologized to my child. I told him I was not right to speak to him so loudly, I will try to avoid it next time. But he also has to learn to behave better. He nodded his head. I love China
• United States
7 Apr 09
Thank you!
@barehugs (8986)
• Canada
7 Apr 09
I helped to raise 4 boys, and they were fun kids. We never paid them too much attention. Let them play by themselves and if they fell down and cried they soon forgot about it and got up by themselves. Perhaps you are doing too much for your child. Try letting him be. When he throws himself down and cries, turn on the TV, sit down, and watch, (as if there was nothing else happening.) Lying on the floor, screaming, is Hard work. Your son will soon get over that if you pay him no mind. Never allow him to get you upset. When he sees you get upset, he wins his little game.
• United States
7 Apr 09
You are right! he win a lot! I need learn to ignore him!
• United States
7 Apr 09
my son use to do that and the drs said for me just to let him cry it out when he figures he cant do it by himself he will come to you , so when he gets like that walk away and just let him cry it out . no you are not a bad mom all of us have done that at least once ,
@littleone3 (2065)
7 Apr 09
You are not a bad mum we all have times when we just feel like screaming at our children. I have raised five children and my youngest who is 3 next month is going through what we call the terrible twos. Although he has got better over the last few months. I have found that it is best to ignore the temper tantrum as long as he is not in danger of harming himself just walk away. But keep him in your sight. Also the other thing that seems to work with my son is if I explain things to him I will let him try to do things himself first then will offer to help if he can't do it.
• China
7 Apr 09
When I was young, I'm a very naughty boy too. That are really normal phenomenon. So give more patience to your child and everything will be ok! Do not blame him and yourself either!
@dropofrain (1168)
• India
7 Apr 09
I do not think that you are a bad mom because this is absolutely fine that you are scolding your son. While the kids are growing, they tend to develop this habbit of doing everything by themselves. It turns out to be really risky thing for them. I think it tries out your patience and some times you also loose on it. So you tend to yell. Its fine with a two year old kid
@deanna2 (159)
• United States
7 Apr 09
hi this is what the call the terrible twos where they try to be independent try every thing their self.they try it cant do it and cry because they can't if you try to help them they don't like it so they cry.no you are not a bad mother this is just the terrible two's that luckly he will out grow.
@rsa101 (16723)
• Quezon City, Philippines
7 Apr 09
I guess your son is in his terrible two stage. Well you'll need a lot of patience for him to understand because he is at the stage of exploring new things in his life and does want to hasten things up but well I guess he fails many times and is frustrating for him to realize that. As a parent you should let him experience that and let him realize that crying is not the solution. I really do not know how you will apply it to him but what I know is that you can be as creative as you can in having it realize it to him. Different kids needs different approaches in handling this kind of situation.