Will you worry or be alarmed if your partner is addicted to chatting?

@modstar (9610)
Philippines
April 7, 2009 8:32pm CST
Will you be alarmed or you'll just shrug it off? Are you confident enough about your relationship that no man/woman on the internet world can take your partner away from you?
3 people like this
24 responses
@Dugsmom (279)
• United States
8 Apr 09
Oh yeah but he's scared of me. He knows I'd kick his butt then I'd go find the girl he was chatting to and kick her butt too. I am confident in myself and our relationship but some girls know how to wiggle themselves into a man's life (even if he is married) so you've always got to be on your toes...
1 person likes this
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
I couldn't agree more. There are people out there that are determined to take your partner away from us so we really need to keep our guard up. Is that little guy, Dug?
@Dugsmom (279)
• United States
8 Apr 09
Yes, that my little guy! And his daddy knows that if he chats with another woman, Little Dug is going with me.
@Dugsmom (279)
• United States
8 Apr 09
That's my little Dug. And his dad knows that if he chats with another woman, Dug is going with me.
@abee1020 (116)
• Philippines
9 Apr 09
I think that's alarming!... Spending his time chatting rather than me will obviously makes me feel jealous and think that he's not satisfied with my company=( but it's ok if he's chatting with are his relatives abroad... other than that, No way.. i'll boot his account =)) kidding.
1 person likes this
@krupesh (2608)
• India
9 Apr 09
I have no problems as I trust my wife to the helm.It is me who will be chatting but not with any unknown people or just for passing the time.My wife also knows what I do while on the computer but she will be watching the monitor now & then just in case....who knows?lolz
1 person likes this
@carrine (2749)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
of course , and believed me, there is something fishy if ur partner is always chatting, based on my experienced. LOL there is really something in it!
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
9 Apr 09
Your husband felt something fishy on you? Hehe, just kidding!
@carrine (2749)
• Philippines
9 Apr 09
well i dont have any ever since. LOOOOL
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
9 Apr 09
Why not? Maybe you love to play around huh?
@zweeb82 (5713)
• Malaysia
8 Apr 09
I can say that my wife & I are confident with each other but at the same time we always look out for each other as we wouldn't want to appear too friendly to some people who might get the wrong idea
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
Well that's aside from the fact that you're too busy with work. Lol!
1 person likes this
@zweeb82 (5713)
• Malaysia
8 Apr 09
We always keep constant open communication with each other!~ Transparency is good!~Plus we both work from home so we actually spend most of our time together. Oh, and she's actually really NOT into internet chatting, haha!~ She's more into talking to me, muahaha!~
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
Your job at home is my dream job. Lol!
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4720)
• Germany
8 Apr 09
I had a relationship for 3 years. The first year was great. Then things seemed to change. I found information on the internet that he was saying he was single and looking. I confronted him with this and he said he did not know it was there. Of course he new, but I figured I would give him the benefit of the doubt. We only saw each other in the weekends and holidays. And in the last year he was so distant. Seems he had been dating other women. I did not know about that. So I would say, if I were ever to suspect this with the bf I have now, it would be over. I do think the internet can be a threat to any relationship. Take care.
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe he has lost enthusiam on your relationship when he has met someone on the net.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4720)
• Germany
9 Apr 09
I think he was not grown up enough yet. He had been married and when I meet him he was only divorced for a half year. He liked his freedom, he could do what he wanted. Why stay with one, when you can have more. No real problem, it is the lying I don't like. Take care.
@eagle_f15 (2054)
• Malaysia
9 Apr 09
Nope not at all as my husband and I both rarely chat online with others even though we do go on msn. I think the times both of us use it to chat a lot with others is to close a business deal. We do use it to catch up with friends as well but that's quite rare as we would rather myLot here to increase our earnings. Besides when either of us are chatting with our friends or even our siblings we would be constantly telling each other what goes on in the conversation and laugh and discuss as well. But one thing is we are always on the look for each other as we chat with the other gender as not to cross the line because the other party might get the wrong idea though there's nothing going on. Another thing is when I do go on msn my status is always either away or busy so if any friend on the other line drops me a chat i would choose if I want to answer. Even in facebook/gmail my status is offline.
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
29 Apr 09
I am doing the same for my Yahoo Messenger though i'm single right now. lol! I just get tired of chatting maybe because i had too much years ago.
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
8 Apr 09
Hi modstar, I will be alarmed since my husband don't like chatting now that we are married and no matter how confident we are in our relationship, if we allow a certain situation like this, this is close to a lot of temptations.. So, when we can do something to avoid it, then let's do it!
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
9 Apr 09
I agree! We should do the prevention early while we can.
@weng_08 (282)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
Hello. I will be alarmed if I'd see my bf getting too addicted to chatting. We know too well that online relationships do happen, sometimes, not intentionally. It may not be his intentions to hurt me or to cheat on me, but it might really happen. I guess the act of trying to find someone new means something. I will not worry if he is chatting with an old buddy. We cannot be too innocent nor too naive anymore. Things happen. Lol. Have a great day!
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
Hehe, that's true. It just happens. There are lots of good talkers online.
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
I will be alarmed if my husband is addicted to chatting. Your from philippines, right? You will hear a lot of stories from our local artist that they found out that there partner is having a relationship because of the net. Basic example is Rafael Rosel, he found out that Malaya is having an affair with her gym instructor. And how they do it, thru chatting. Malaya chat with the gym instructor and they fall in love. I was from a chat room before, im a chat addict, most of my true friends right now are from the net. All of those members are having an affair with their fellow chat mate. Every single member is having an affair with the other member of the same chat room or the other rooms. So now tell me now, if i should not be alarmed if my partner is addicted to chatting?
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
8 Apr 09
I guess it's no different to the women that he would meet in the 'real' world. My husband has a job that entails meeting a lot of people every day. I do trust him and would not be concerned if he spent time on the Internet chatting to others; I do! I guess if he was spending an unreasonable amount to of time communicating with the same lady I would probably question it. As far as someone taking him away from me, no one can take him unless he wants to be taken and if that was the extent of his feelings for me, good riddance! I don't see any point in concerning yourself in case your partner should leave you, it is more important to feel you could handle it if it happened, after all we can't be in control of another's behaviour.
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
I see you have your full confidence on your man. That's how it should be.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
8 Apr 09
Good question posed here. I wouldn't say that internet chatting doesn't have its downside. I am a regular chatter in the net and there come a time when I am so engrossed with the person on the other end of the line that I almost forget who or why I am chatting as if I am in seventh heaven. My other half is not interested in the internet stuff as he has more important things to do but it is me who has become the victim of the virtual world and chatting has kind of diluted my physical attachment. It is quite addictive and if not controlled would definitely destroy an established and harmonious relationship. I always pinch my other cheek to make me realize and come back to reality.
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
I understand you completely. There's always this person online that we're really fascinated with. Time just flies when we're talking to him/her. Sometimes it's inspiring.
@iamsolucky (1243)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
I will be alarmed if he uses most of his time to chatting, if he chats with friends and relatives i wont mind. but if he is starting to get addicted to someone, then thats the time im gunna talk to him. if he respect me he wouldnt do that all, its clear to me that if he do that then im gunna make some actions. if he like the other girl then he must decide. i dont want to waste my time fighting for my guy if he- in his own self , wants another girl in his life. I believe if a guy truly loves me, he will have 1 strong choice at the start. No matter how the girls flirt, he can tell them to stop. Thats my opinion
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
That's true. There should really be no doubts in choosing the one he truly loves.
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
8 Apr 09
Hello modstar, Of course I will be very surprised if he is addicted to chatting. I will definitely confront him and ask him why he prefer to chat rather than spending time with me. Or, I just sit there next to him when he is busy chatting and see what kind of conversation he always has with his online friends
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
Hehe, if he doesn't go conscious with you around then i guess he's not doing anything wrong.
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
Hmmm, your discussion reminded me of my ex-suitor's cousin, Rafael Rosell. I saw him in The Buzz last Sunday spilling all the juicy details about his ex-gf flirting with someone else online. He wasn't alarmed then, he let the girl do her thing and they ended up breaking up with each other. Good for Rafael. If a girl can't be trusted enough to do something good when they're still bf-gf then she won't do good when they get married. My point is, I won't be alarmed as well. If it's the only way for me to see my partner's honesty and loyalty then so be it. But of course, I will always remind him than he should be addicted to me more than anything else
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
Malaya's too yummy! I would love to chat with her too! Rafael should know that Malaya is an internet bait! Rafael really took it for granted and didn't even notice the smoke.
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
8 Apr 09
Neither of us chat. It is a respect thing for us. He doesn't want me to, so he doesn't either. I may be married, but I am not stupid. I know that even married men can stray. I would rather respect his wishes not to chat, and have him not chatting than to even chance an issue coming up later.
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
Prevention is the best way.
@ketybhagat (4125)
• India
8 Apr 09
The lure of the unknown is always there, so when we chat with others, the chances are that the person m ay be swayed away from you by that chatter. Even best of the relations can fall prey to this unknown. One must be careful.
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
I agree kety. It crumbles the foundation and before we know it, it's too late so we must really be careful.
@bubbletush (1334)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
I'll be alarmed and irritated if it comes to a point when his addiction to chat makes him spend more time in front of the computer than with me.
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
That's very, very irritating indeed. I think it affects quality time intended for the family.
@carann (262)
• United States
8 Apr 09
My spouse is the opposite. He doenst want anything to do with chatting. Course he kinda hates people to. lol He thinks all you get is in trouble and virus' on your comp from it.I can't say I have ever done that stuff either.
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
Aside from the virur, you're free from temptations.
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
8 Apr 09
Based on past experience I would be slightly worried if my spouse is to suddenly devote most of her time to online chatting. I am not being paranoid but I have had several sutprises in the past. They have made it difficult for me to give a 100% trust. I dislike it being this way but that is the way things are. Maybe there will be people who accuse me of being too suspicious. Even several of my offsprings do not really trust their mother when it comes to other men. Their opinion is based on what they had heard and seen. all the best, rosdimy
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
There's really nothing wrong if you're being paranoid or suspicious especially if you are protecting the sanctity of your marriage and family. I would feel the same. It's not something we just can take for granted.