are my feelings wrong
April 10, 2009 2:13pm CST
my husband has his own buissness and this week end he has to go out of state which he never did before to fix some guys deck , i am mad about it because its a holiday week end and i feel he should be here with the kids he said he will be back on sunday but thats not the point , the point is he needs to spend time with they kids , he asked me my oponion and when i told him he didnt listen any way so why even ask how some one feels if you are not going to take there feelings into thought any ways.
3 people like this
• United States
11 Apr 09
Pysch- This is a close one to my own heart right now. My husband's work is not very flexible about our religious days, so he very rarely gets them off. But he's getting all the religious holiday's off that we don't even celebrate. I'm not mad at him though. I'm mad at his work. It's a difficult situation during these tough economic times, but people need to earn a living. I don't work, so I don't get mad at my husband for working hard to bring in enough income for us to live off of, and do some fun things. We make the most of the days he has off, and I don't spend a great deal of time getting worked up over times he has to work, work over time, or even work a weekend. We just make the most of our time together. That's all you can do, to be honest. You'll have to make a choice as to what you can live with. If you love your husband, support his work, then you'll have to choose to live with certain work schedules. If you cannot live with that, then you'll need to seriously address with it your husband, and make your own choice based upon his response. I wouldn't go jumping out of the frying pan into the fire though. Namaste-Anora
11 Apr 09
Hello psychotaz, i would feel bad too if i were on your shoe. That is right there is no point asking other peoples opinion or feelings towards something if your are not going to take it into consideration. But com to think of it since this is the first time that your husband to accept this kind of job and he has committed himself with the trip he can't just leave it as it is. Just hope that next time he will reconsider this and won't accept such job again.
10 Apr 09
to me i take it very seriously .if his normal working hour from monday to friday and don't he tell me sat and Sunday need to work.i can be very understanding this is work . but to me sat sun it is not beyond to his boss any more.is our private life .so don't he tell me that , that time my husband does the same thing to me ,i was super angry with him. i old him this is not because i don't understand .is because we waited and waited to have our private life in weekend but end up a disappointment from you.
10 Apr 09
Hi psychotaz :) I'm sorry you're having this family issue at the moment but I hope I can contribute something. I, too, am self-employed I have been since 1992. It is not an easy lifestyle. People assume, because you are independent, that you have full control over your schedule, can take time off any time you wish and such. I can promise you this is NOT true. Self-employment or running a business is often MORE constricting than a 9-5 job. I cannot tell you how many holidays I've worked in those years. I never got "vacation" time, didn't get Christmas off or Thanksgiving or Easter or any other day. Even if I didn't have to work the whole day, I still had to be online, checking emails, sending replies and doing certain contractual obligations that were unavoidable. I often work 7 days a week. I don't know about your husband's business and, believe me, I am not one to judge anyone else. All I know is that there were SO many times that I would have rather been with my girls or at an event or a special day and I was bound by work first. Unfortunately, when it's your own business, you have to work when there is work. If I didn't work, I didn't get paid... it was really as simple as that. Mind you, I also didn't have any subordinates I could ask to sub in for me or anything like that so I did what I had to do. I'm really sorry that the holiday weekend isn't going to be the way you hoped :( It's not easy to take and I absolutely understand your disappointment and frustration. I hope that you can find a way to come to terms with it and I hope your husband will listen to how you feel. I had a hard time hearing the disappointment in my family's voices and also endured a lot of criticism from people who didn't understand how my contract responsibilities worked... but I always took the time to try to give a proper explanation. I wish you a lot of luck and hope you enjoy the time with the kids... maybe you can do something special when he gets back on Sunday :D
• United States
12 Apr 09
I guess for me, I think it would often depend on how bad we needed the $$ and if this was last minute, or something that was planned for a while. For me, Easter is a very important time that I would think should be important for your family, but if you need the $$ then this could be something he needs to do as well. So I guess the main issue would be he should have been more understanding with your needs and then go from there.