The loss of a mother

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I have been holding off writing anything down since I lost my mom in October but have finally decided that I need to get it all out. I am 35 years old. I live in Texas and I had not seen my mom in 7 years when she passed away in October. I did speak with her on the phone often and emailed her almost daily. I received a message early on October 22 to call my older sister that it was very important. When I called her she told me that my mom had passed away. I don't remember much of the conversation. I can't remember how she said it or what her exact wording was. I just know that I was devastated. I am the youngest of 4 children and from the time I was 7 I was the only child at home. So to say my mom and I had a close relationship would be an understatement. Don't get me wrong my mom had her faults but regardless, she was my mother and I love her very much. Anyway, I received phone calls from my dad and my stepmom and then made the phone call to North Carolina to the house of the friends that lived in front of my mom. The daughter proceeded to tell me that my moms house had caught on fire and she was attempting to get her dogs out of their cages and the smoke overtook her. My older brother was on his way there so I asked her to have him call me and I proceeded to make plans to fly down there. I went there and my moms friend was very upset and actually she now has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder because of it. I did see my moms house and that was a horrible experience. I often wonder what she was thinking when she was in there. I pray that she didn't suffer and try to remember that she loved her animals as if they were her children and try not to be angry. I still have days that I will cry just from thinking about her. I wish I could pick up the phone and call her. There is a great emptiness that I feel because I can't call her.I guess the reason I am writing this is because I want other people who have lost a loved one to know that there are others that feel that pain too. I also want to tell those that have their parents, don't ever take them for granted. They are the most awesome people we have in our lives.