Why is love so complicated?

United States
April 15, 2009 11:08pm CST
Can anyone help me out with this one? Mathematics will tell you 1+1=2. One person who loves another person (and vise versa) will make two in love. So why can't it be that simple? Why is it not that once two people love each other, they're dating? Why is it so hard for two people who love each other very much to stay together? I feel like a lot of significant couples around me have ended. But these are couples of people who I know love and REALLY care about the other person. A month ago, everyone was happy. But enter one minor detail, and suddenly break-ups are right and left. Usually, the cause has been "not enough time". Why does a relationship need a set amount of time? If you really love someone, you will still love them if you haven't seen them all day. I know dating is a commitment, but if you're busy, why does that suddenly have to mean you can't date the person you love? For me, if I had a hectic life, I would WANT to be dating someone. It's like that light at the end of the tunnel... you know, when you're all alone and it's one thing on top of another... being able to hear that person's voice is possibly the best thing that whole week. I think if you're happy and you make this other person happy, it shouldn't have to be so complicated. Has anybody felt this way? Has anybody been "too busy" to date someone they love and care about?
2 people like this
16 responses
• Philippines
16 Apr 09
lovers themselves make love complicated.
• United States
16 Apr 09
I would have to agree on that one... because I know for myself I am the one that makes it complicate more often then he does... but that is normal love isn't suppose to be up all the time.. the downs is what makes you appreicate it more
@mira91 (987)
• Singapore
17 Apr 09
I guess it's true what they say...We all make it seem hard when it isn't...When things could be as easy as what you've stated here...As for me, i had finally realized this fact that if i just didn't think or analyze too much, love is just there, and it had always been there...=] Like you say, if i'm happy and my partner's happy too and we're both happy together then that's all there is to it..^_^
@lawana_f (327)
• United States
17 Apr 09
Love is not complicated, people are complicated. Love is not simply attraction as many confuse the issue, and love alone is not enough to make a relationship work. Relationships are hard because we do not take the time to get to know each other before jumping into "love". While I do believe in Love at first sight" I also believe it the candle burns hot it burns out quickly. In other words if two people only have attraction in common then what happens when the new wears off. If you want to be happy in love then you both have to work at it not just now but every day for the rest of your life. Love is not easy, but true love endures.
@1hopefulman (34984)
• Canada
17 Apr 09
Selfishness is probably the simplest answer. Selflessness is probably what makes love work. Anyways, hope it works out for you!
@clorissa123 (4930)
• United States
17 Apr 09
I guess what you said up there was partially right. But loves involve more than just two person. It also involves the persons and every factor around it. You have to consider many many other factors. For instance, financial situation, and your commitment to his/her family also needed to be considered. It won't be just two person's business anymore, somehow.
@carrine (2749)
• Philippines
16 Apr 09
we have the same question! why is that? well for now, i dont think that much about it.. ill just hang around, no more expectations, less frustrations, dating around, but no commitments.. its better like this than being committed and get hurt. :D
@mzj033y (185)
• United States
16 Apr 09
I really want to know to. Why does it have to be so complicated? I'm that type of person where I need someone to dedicate their time to me, if not than it's really hard to be in a relationship. I'm sure that if you really want something, you would give up at least some time to make that person happy. I'm currently in a situation right now where we had broken up before but we manage to pull back together because it's "love" that we see but then I'm starting to notice how he doesn't have time anymore and he's extremely busy. sigh.. to answer your question he is too busy to even deal with me someone he love and care, makes me wonder where do I stand in his place. :-(
@vzihan (145)
• China
16 Apr 09
Haha,love is complicated sometimes.You know,human is the most complicated animal in the would.We cannot understand other's feeling to love.I saw differrent kind of love and different breaking,some of them just make no sense at all.If someone can explain love,he or she will be a great guy.Nevertheless,I still prefer a simple love---easy,pure,and lasting.The love that is too complicated will hurt me.
@vheilugto (149)
• Philippines
16 Apr 09
becuase people are the one who make things complicated. they cant control everything, they just want to have a challenge thats why they looking for a problem to make love complicated. .
@zhangfzoe (432)
• China
16 Apr 09
I feel too busy to date someone is an excuse. If you really love someone, you're willing to spend time with him/her. Otherwise, I think the relatioship can not be stable.
@megaplaza (1438)
• Nigeria
16 Apr 09
we all know what the cause is, i believe that for a relationship to exist there must be: 1. mutual trust 2. mutual love 3. mutual understanding once anyone of these is missing, you are bound to have a break up or an unhealthy relationship, besides humans are greedy, they want to get and have all the attention in the world, and most ppl are into relationship because of money, personality and lots more other than love.
@margaux08 (1094)
• Philippines
16 Apr 09
Hi cordharmonie, As mathematics is a complex thing, LOVE also is a complex thing... ambiguous and watery. Factors adding to the complexity of LOVE are the individuals who are supposed to be commmitted to the word yet doing anything but stay committed. "Not enough time" is also a vague thing. Bottomline is communication. Setting of expectation at the start of a relationship will help a lot to draw the line from "having too much time" to "not enough time." Giving time to your partner and giving time to yourself is also a totally different thing. Emotional maturity also counts a lot for the success of a relationship. I guess before one should plunge into a relationship, he or she should be able to have a strong and impervious answer to this question: Will I be complete without him/her?
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
16 Apr 09
He come to the focal point. Daring or out dating are mere excuses and the complications too are excuses for or the others benefit as human mind is not satiated with only one option. It implicitly tries to break through d hence you see all complications. Remember no relation in itself is complicated this is you and me who are in do. Te problem is there with William Wordsworth who said - " The heard melodies are sweet but those unheard are sweeter."
• Malaysia
16 Apr 09
Hi cordharmonie Actually love is not complicated but love is something very difficult in life. What can we expect as it links two heart together. Love is one term created by god which can make alot of changes in ones life. When you love you may get hurt, you may learn lessons, you may be girted if you have the right person, you may feel you are in heaven and at times worst than hell. Break up is something unexpected in love. I would call it an accident. We never know whats going to happen in the relationship. Everything will seem good but all of a sudden we may have a very cmall misunderstanding and break up It is hard to be in a relationship. Its not the matter of time but understanding. We need to understand our partner. We are all busy with our own life and cannot expect much time. If we have faith in our love then we should be able to accept it. Dating with my partner is something I enjoy the most but at times when we have planned out all excitingly there are possibilities for the plan to be cancelled just because something urgent comes in the middle. But I am ready to accept it.I would say it depends on the person. We need to give and take. Regards Thanusha
@yinmm007 (605)
• China
16 Apr 09
hi,there,my boyfriend always is a little busy ,too.and these interval makes me think about something bad unconsciously,becouse when i staying with him,i would forget all the other things in the world and just feel happy.yeap,women can't stand the loneliness.either you save her out of that emptiness and full her life,or let her fall into that desolute situation .
@jambi462 (4598)
• United States
16 Apr 09
For me love isn't complicated but I think that's because I'm just one of the lucky ones that found the one for me early. Love is complicated because there are so many emotions, desires, and things that occur that can put bumps in your road to undying love. I think that no matter what we should remember that we love each other and that we should always try and apologize and salvage our relationship rather then lose a friend.