So much for best friends

United States
April 17, 2009 11:46am CST
I have recently moved to Florida from Missouri. It has really shown me the true colors of my so-called friends. I have always been there for them, whenever they needed me, yet when I move, I haven't heard from any of them. It's like, out of sight out of mind. How fair is that? It's seems no matter how good a friend you are, you are always getting hurt. Do you ever feel like that? Like you really don't matter to your friends, they are just using you. That is how I feel now, like I was being used and since they can no longer use me I don't matter. I wish I could find friends that weren't like that. My husband is my best friend, and seems like that is all I will ever get or need.
5 people like this
22 responses
@daneg33 (1131)
• Canada
17 Apr 09
Those don't sound like friends at all. True friends keep in touch, no matter what. Don't despair, you will make new friends in Missouri. Keep your heart and your mind open! Friends are always needed.
2 people like this
• United States
17 Apr 09
Thanks, I know, I will make new friends down here in Florida, it just seems like I never have time to do anything, with all the work I'm doing, and still trying to get unpacked, etc. I won't give up though!!!! Thanks.
1 person likes this
@kareng (7980)
• United States
18 Apr 09
I have to agree here, your old friends don't sound like good friends. I hope you move on and make a lot of new friends in Florida! Just be friendly and it will happen. Take care and have a great weekend!
@goldeneagle (6775)
• United States
17 Apr 09
I moved too Florida from Georgia, and the same thing happened to me when I moved. I guess they can't call me to come every time they need me anymore, so they don't call at all.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Apr 09
Oh well, if you are a good person, there is always friends, where ever you may go. I know that I will get more friends down here in Florida, it will just take time and patience. Good luck to you as well.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Apr 09
what part of Florida you live in?
• United States
18 Apr 09
I live in Navarre, FL. I am about 40 minutes from Pensacola.
@sona22 (1431)
• India
17 Apr 09
I have just faced such behavior of the friends. My husbands best friend is suffering from Total Renal Failure since last 11 months. He has to undergo Dialysis twice in a week. He was very helpful to others. Many so called friends were benefited by him. When he can earn a lot for giving advice on motor vehicle related matter. The lawyers were also taking his advice at free of cost. One lawyers once told him to do work for him and to stop giving free advice, he just refused to do so. Besides this he always providing his helping hand to others. But at this moment when he needs mental support, all the friends ran away except my husband and other 4 (four). It is the irony of the man. So don't be surprised. Your friends are doing their duty.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Apr 09
That is very sad, I'm sorry to hear that. It is bad, when your so called friends take advantage of you. It makes me angry just thinking about it!!! I hope everything works out for your husbands friend.
1 person likes this
@sona22 (1431)
• India
18 Apr 09
Thanks. I just received the message that Tissue Matching test is OK. We were worried for the report. This is vital one.
• United States
18 Apr 09
Glad the test results were okay. Again, good luck, hope everything works out.
• Philippines
17 Apr 09
yeah daneg33 is right.. they're not true friends at all.. you know who's the real loser here?.. them.. cause they don't know how to cherish someone who is always there for them.. now stop feeling sorry for yourself cause i'm sure with the way you care for your friends, you will make great friends there in Missouri =).. hope i helped..
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Apr 09
I don't feel sorry for myself, I'm angry for getting involved with people who only care about what you do for them. I know I will make new friends down here in Florida, it will just take some time. Thanks, you did help :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Apr 09
oopsies i have some typos.. it should be "you will make great friends there in Florida".. well anyway,, you go girl!
1 person likes this
@spalladino (17924)
• United States
18 Apr 09
Do you call your friends or wait for them to call you? I have a best friend who is now 1,000 miles away from me because I moved to Florida, too, and we take turns calling each other. The reason for this is because she used to call me more than I called her and she started to resent that. Fortunately, she spoke up because I sure didn't notice! Long distance friendships take work...and reaching out. Try with your friends for awhile and, if it continues to look like a one sided thing...find new friends.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Apr 09
I have tried calling my friends quite a few times since I moved away. They don't bother calling back or trying to call on their own. I would rather find new friends that I can trust, than have these old friends that don't care about me anymore.
@lsjack (44)
• China
18 Apr 09
thanks for u share u feeling with us, that's sound u true friends, just as u said, i have so many such friends , ok , if they need money ,they will call me, but when i am in trouble they just disappear, sometimes, i feel sad about this. a true friend means helping each other,and share the happiness and sadness, u husband is the right man, please cherish him, good luck, at last i want to say wo shouldn't care how many friends you have, but care whether they are true friends
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Apr 09
I do cherish my husband very much. And I agree, it doesn't matter how many friends you have but if they are true friends. You could have thousands of friends, and not a single one would care about you. It is the quality of the friendship, it's not about quantity.
@born1989 (177)
• India
17 Apr 09
it's really very sad. this things happen girl. friends after certain time take you for granted. this happens in every relation. may be you could have met them once before you were leaving missouri. happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Apr 09
I made sure I spent time with all of my friends before I left Missouri. Up until the day we moved in fact. All of them wanted to come down and visit, etc. etc., but still, no contact.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Apr 09
It can be really hard on both sides. The old friends may feel as if you've moved on in your life and have the same feelings you are experiencing now. I agree with Spall, try giving them a call and see what's up. I have a friend that I lost track of when I moved up here. I thought of her constantly, and finally we connected on facebook and now we're texting all of the time, and sending emails. Sometimes it just takes time. They may also be allowing you to get settled with things. Don't forget to think about new friends. You may find those where you are who will also meet your friendship needs. Don't feel like you are selling your old friends out just because you make room for a few new ones. You'll need friends where you are so you can do things in Missouri. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@enigma_85 (111)
• Australia
18 Apr 09
Hi countrygirl! I have something to say here. My situation is kind of similar to yours, but may be I have a different point of view to it. I left India 2 years ago and now I'm in Australia for my studies. Me and my friends rarely talk to each other but that doesn't mean we are not true friends. Friendship is a kind of relationship where you don't test your friends to check if they take a step to call you! As long as the understanding between friends exists there should be no doubts in friendship. There have been times where I catch up online with friends after ages but still we never complain of not chatting for such a long time. Definitely we miss each other a lot but it's not always necessary to hear from each other at all times. Ofcourse not being in contact and ignorance is a totally different issue.
• United States
19 Apr 09
I'm glad that your friendships have worked out so well for you, however, my friends when I catch them online, never talk to me, ignore me, and there is no more friendship. I just plain don't care anymore.
@hxstar (510)
• China
18 Apr 09
Hi,countrygirl022783! Well,I am sorry to hear that you felt upset by your friends.I understand why you feel that way,people naturally want to be treated the way they treat others,or they will feel unfair.I think your friends didn't show their care while they should,because I can see that you valued them.But,there maybe reasons for it.For example,have you told them that you were leaving and have you give your new adress or new phone number to them?If you did do so,then it is their fault for sure if they don't have any special reason.And then you don't need to feel unhappy,because you have done your part which shows that you are a considerate person,and it will be their loss to have lost a good friend.Cheer up,since you have moved to a new place,you may and should find some good friends there.Well,I know that your husband is good enough,but you still need to find more friends,because no one can live in their own group without connecting other people. Hope you will feel better and find some good friends!
• China
18 Apr 09
i also have a lot of friends .
• India
18 Apr 09
Well i really wanna share this.. I met wit an accident myself near my college wit my friends jus around.. They al took me to hospital n called my parents too since i had to get operated. They stayed late night til i got operated n made sure i was alright.. Then they visited me a bit frequently til i was in hospital thou it was bit far from my coll or their houses .. EVERYONE came one last time wen i got discharged.. They said they ll keep in touch, visit every weekend n keep updated.. Every moment was lovely even thou i was in pain wit a operated leg. Wen i came back home i dearly missed dem. First day, second..a week.. A month! I never heard from dem unless i REMINDED them of me wit a sms .. I felt down a few days.. Thou i was healed, i was feelin the pain. N den i understood .. U don ve to expect yr Friends to be the way u wan dem to be like.. Jus ve a few friends who yr really attached to..n be in touch wit dem n do everything u can to c dem happy. U won need dos hundred friends. Jus tat few would be enuf!
@ulqu1orra (307)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
They are not a true friend that you're looking for, an opportunist maybe. Its hard to admit too that those true and real friends are really hard to find. Although you meet a lot of people everyday, you cannot be sure that you can trust or rely on them when you need them even you give them your friendship.
@sudalunts (5526)
• United States
18 Apr 09
I know exactly how you feel. I had a good friend where I used to work, I was always doing things for her, loaning money, giving her rides, sharing my lunch etc. As soon as I was laid off of that job in June of last year, I have not heard a single word from her. No call to see how I am doing or nothing. I refuse to call her and if for some strange reason she decides to call me, I will refuse the call. You will make new friends in Florida, and just like you, my husband is my best friend.
@patzel88 (3311)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
well new place, new friend and it really misses the old friends we have and we want to let them know even they are far from us but sometimes it never happen because of some conflicts in time and dont have the closeness that we have from the time we are near to them.
@Psiwind (21)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
Probably its because of the distance. Some friends are just what we call "Social Friends", they are the type of friends not worth keeping.
@frtwome (239)
• United States
18 Apr 09
Hi, I know exactly how you feel, my husband and I moved from Florida to Tennessee about a year a half ago. We lived in Florida most of our lives. And we had a lot of close friends. They were all hurt and sad that we were leaving them, they didn't want us to go, but it was my husband dream to live in Tennessee. I probably would have never left Florida. But we did it, we made the big move, at first our friends were calling us constantly, then when the calls started slowing down, I started emailing them, to make sure we all stayed in touch. After a while it seems as though no one had the time to respond to my emails anymore. Whenever I did get any emails from them, it was never any answers to my questions, it was just some funny jokes or something, that they were forwarding to everyone. So, it just all kind of ended. Very sad.
• China
18 Apr 09
A true friend makes no excuse of having work or appointments or anything but will be with you whenever you need him/ her. It seems they are not your true friends according to their behavior. This is my opinions on friendships.
• China
18 Apr 09
it seemed you have not found some real friends,i know it`s hard to find,especially in the modern society.the real friends if you meet is your luck. of course i supposed almost everyone have some so-called friends,we can`t deny their existence.the only is which way we face to them.ok,you would talk to them,laugh together,or sth else,but you would`t waste more time on these people. it`s not worthful,i think.
@reckon21 (3487)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
I'm sorry about what happen to your best friends. They seemed to have suffered amnesia and forgotten you. Anyways,life is like that. The good thing is that you still had your husband as your best friend. People changed and your so-called friends is not worth your time.