What hurt the most in a relationship?

@annierose (17417)
Philippines
April 17, 2009 3:52pm CST
No one can escape on the roller coaster part of a relationship. There are times that we are so happy that we really want to marry soon the person we love. However, there are also moments on which, we always argue with the one we love, and almost decided to give up. There are different reasons that can be hurting in a relationship. But do you know what really hurt the most in a relationship?
7 people like this
28 responses
@balasri (26577)
• India
18 Apr 09
The breach of trust.
1 person likes this
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
hi balasri, Thanks for response although very brief.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26577)
• India
18 Apr 09
The breach of trust in any relationship is so shocking and not acceptable easily.It is the most devastating thing that can happen to a relationship.It is so painful that it makes you numb and speechless. Hope I tried elaborating it a little this time.
1 person likes this
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
oh, thanks for elaborating it. I hope you not think of me as so much demanding type
@chookie1971 (2277)
• Australia
18 Apr 09
As some one has already said, trust. I have been in a time when I had a big arguement with my husband because he didn't trust me. Even though I nothing to hide but, he was checking up on me. I had a funny feeling he was checking up on me so I had set up my computer desk in such a way to catch him out. He fell for it and found out he was checking up on me behind my back and pretended to be innocent. I was so upset that he was checking up on me behind my back.
1 person likes this
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
hi chookie, If I were in your shoes, I will be upset also. Have you open up your feelings with him about that?
1 person likes this
• Australia
19 Apr 09
I have. We argued about it. And I am still with him but don't trust him fully.
@HelScream (2829)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
Well for me what really hurts is loving a person and the person love you too but in the end you both know that you cant be together and have to go separate ways for reasons beyond your control and that fate just wont let you be with that person all your life. I am not talking about having an affair with someone who is married its just certain things in life prevent both of you to fight for the love you both shared.... and all you could do is live for the moment whit person coz you will know that in the end she was not destined to be yours....simple irony of life....Love so close to perfection yet cant be totally be complete....
1 person likes this
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
hi helscream, I understand what you feel. It happened also to me before. We were both in love with each other and we are already in the middle of relationship when we found out that we are cousins to the second degree. It really hurts but we have no choice but to let go of each other.
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2829)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
yeah the feeling is bad right but cant do about it right all we can do now is move on .....
1 person likes this
• China
18 Apr 09
what really hurt the most in a relationship? i like ralationship ,i don.t do what can hurt it
1 person likes this
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
hi zhangyong, You will learn it as you go on with your relationship with someone you love.
@jkatmaou (195)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
What hurts most in a relationship really depends on the people involved. Do not let the pain master you, instead, master it, face it, and work from there. Arguments with the one you love gives great food for thought, it helps you analyze and realize things which you can't see when they are not brought out in the open. Still, the only person really able to hurt us is ourself. And that point comes when you have forgotten to lvoe yourself, too.
1 person likes this
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
h jkatmou, By the way you respond, I can say that you are learning so much in life.You really made me think on what you posted. Take care and Happy mylotting.
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
hi. nice question. i guess the most painful in a relationship is learning that your lover is loving another person and still keeping you aside. i do not believe that a person can love two persons at the same time equally so i felt that being betrayed is the worst. better if the man tells you at first that there is 3rd party involved rather than you learning it from another person. no matter how hurtful it was i always believe that a heartbreak is an opportunity to fall inlove again.
1 person likes this
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
hi roselynm, You are right. Being betrayed is very hurting.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Apr 09
For me the most hurtful thing someone can do is to cheat. I have NEVER been in a relationship where the person I was with didn't cheat on me. I am not one of those people to do this back but was dumb enough to stay in the relationships. My current relationship has had its ups and downs and there have been a lot of hurtful moments but I think as we have gotten older, and because we have tried to make it work it has lasted longer.
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
hi prncesfromheaven, So good is your love story. I hope you and your partner will be strong enough to face any problems both of you might encounter. I wish you happiness.
1 person likes this
@jbrooks0127 (2329)
• United States
18 Apr 09
What I think hurts the most in a relationship is betrayal. Now that can be a simple as lying, all the way to cheating. When you have fallen in love you want, and need, to be able to trust a person. When something happens that destroys that trust the relationship is never the same. This is true even though you may have worked through the issue and decided to stay together. Everything that happens after that is filtered through that trust lens. Relationships are never easy. Even, or perhaps I should she especially, after you are married. All relationships take you on a roller coaster ride. Just the way it is between two people. It is very rare that problems do not present themselves. It is just human nature. So that is the very reason you must be able to trust so that you know that no matter what happens you are being told the truth and that they love you as much as you love them. When one deceives the other it is the beginning of irreparable damage to that relationship. And sooner or later it will destroy that relationship.
1 person likes this
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
hi jbrooks, Thanks for an elaborate response. I can say no more. I agree with all you said.
1 person likes this
@lsjack (44)
• China
18 Apr 09
my personal idea, i think trust is the important factor in lover's relationship, we shouldn't never hurt it, do u think so , if there doesn't exist trust between u, no one can retrieval the relationship.
1 person likes this
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
hi lsjack, Thanks for response. I agree with you. If there is no trust, love is impossible to grow.
1 person likes this
@soulist (2987)
• United States
17 Apr 09
There was a time in my last relationship when my ex hung up on me while we were having a discussion and he made me cry. I didn't talk to him for about 3 days which hurt deeply, but then he broke up with me a week after all that happened so.
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
hi soulist, I am very sorry to hear about that. What I just can say is that, don't lose hope. I hope you will find the right man in the long run.
1 person likes this
@pal7604 (98)
• Sweden
17 Apr 09
All sound relationships will have to go through discussions. This is are the colors of life. What a boring relationship it would be if you only said yes dear to one another. There is no room for growth. See problems as a challenge in life. Changes are good! What is it then that is hurting in a relationship? When you cannot not trust each other and do not respect each others differences. Then it is the end of a health relationship!
1 person likes this
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
hi pal, Thank you very much for a very meaningful response.I agree with all you said here. Relationship must not be only in good times but also must undergo bad times for each to grow.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Apr 09
to me the most hurt in a relationship is lying. u know, it's like my parent's always said, u might as well tell the truth because it will come out in the wash. boy, were they ever right!!!!!!!!! to me, there is nothing more hurtful than to be lied to.
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
hi pamfloyd, Thanks for response. Honestly is really a must in a relationship in order for it to grow.
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
lol, my fat fingers attack again.hahahha..its honesty not honestly.
• Malaysia
18 Apr 09
Hi annierose I think sincerity is the most important thing in love and when this does not imply its just like feeling the pain of a bleeding heart. Its very hurting to see your loved once going with another person leaving you stranded when your heart still chants his/her name. you agree with me? Regards Thanusha
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
hi thanusha, I agree with you. Perhaps, the will be the most painful that can happen to me in my relationship--being cheated.
• Malaysia
19 Apr 09
Yes being cheated by a person you love is very hurting. We would feel very foolish and stupid Thanusha
@smartjack (521)
• India
18 Apr 09
lack of trust and betrayal.
• Malaysia
18 Apr 09
I strongly agree to this.
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
hi smartjack, Thanks for response although very direct. Can you elaborate it more?
@acekala (163)
• United States
18 Apr 09
The most hurtful thing in the relationship is being stabed in the back by your partner. When they cross that one line from which theres no return, (at least for me)and cheat. Everything else can be worked out with calm rational discussion and time
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
hi acekala, Thanks for sharing this with us. Being cheated by the one you love is really painful.
1 person likes this
@acekala (163)
• United States
19 Apr 09
The great thing is that from what I'm learning is that time heals all wounds.
@carrine (2749)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
the most hard part in the relationship or were i get hurt so much, was the time i noticed that my partner lied to me. i asked myself since when he started lying? right? its dishonestly already, unfaithfulness.. i cant accept that really
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
21 Apr 09
hi carrine, If I were in your shoes, I might feel same way
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
when you enter in a relationship,you must know that you can be hurt... and being cheated is the most hurtful in a relationship...
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
hi mariannelette, Thanks for participating. I agree with you with what you said regarding cheating.
• India
19 Apr 09
In a relationship the most important thing is trust and love for each others.With out trust there is no love so the very very important thing is Trust. Regarding your question "What hurt the most in a relationship?" the answer is clearly having if your partner has no trust on you or you don't have trust on your partner .Betrayal or un-faithfulness are the ways of breaking that TRUST.
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
hi deepika, Thanks for sharing this wonderful thoughts to us.
@ulqu1orra (310)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
Yeah there are lots of things that makes each lovers quarrel about, but for me not putting trust on your is the cause of it. The feeling of jealous was not bad at all but to be jealous at all times was not good at all. We must learn how can we put trust in a relationship and how can we value the trust given to us not just by the one who loves but also for everyone who cares for us.
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
hi ulqu1orra, Reading your post made me remember one lesson in my life and that is too less or too much of something is not good.
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
What really hurts most in a relationship is that when love is gone and trust is also been abandoned. If a person was cheated, i think this will be the most hurtful of all in a relationship. It will not be easy to accept such when it happens, most people do something more dangerous when they got cheated. If trust is gone as well as the love, then the relationship will never be called the same. We do have ups and downs, and in a relationship we will also face fights or struggles, but never should we reason this to end such wonderful relationship. Forgiveness and understanding should always be put when we did something to our better half. But this will also be depending on how people handle their situation, because i know if someone deals with infidelity, forgiveness and understanding will be the last thing on their minds.
@annierose (17417)
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
hi strawberrychocodahi, That is really a great response of your. I can say no more. I agree with all you said and if we really want our relationship to last long, we should learn how to forgive and forget at the same time.