Today started out strange...thanks to Khuay

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I will admit I have a very strange problem first thing in the morning, I can't help it, I fart. It isn't just passing wind, that sounds too polite for the gas that comes out of me! It's more like a sonic boom!!! I'm sure you're wondering what farts have to do with cats, but you'll find out in a minute. I slept late because I had a hard day yesterday. I only got five hours sleep and did a flea market in a town a hundred miles away from my home. I got too much sun and was sick when I got home...and I actually went to bed early; the one plus was that I slept like a log (I still haven's seen a log go to sleep, so how can someone sleep like one?). I FINALLY woke up about 10:45, and as I was waking up and becoming aware to what was around me, I lost my gas and broke the sound barrier. Then I noticed a heavy weight on my abdomen. And even worse, I felt a strange hard mass between my legs. I've only felt it once before, and that was when I gave birth to my daughter. I wasn't quite with it (how many of us wake up with all circuits functioning?) and wondered how I got pregnant (I took care of that problem years ago) and how I could give birth without feeling it. Finally the reasoning circuit came on and I realized that I wasn't giving birth so I hazarded a look. Laying on his back, legs in the air and his overly long tail stretched straight up my breast bone was....you guessed it...Khuay! His head was between my legs with his nose turned to my left side. He was either sound asleep or passed out from the fumes from my earlier gas. I kind of think it was the latter as when I touched him and then tried to pick him up to move him he didn't open his eyes! I did finally revive him and he gave me a dirty look and wandered off. He did get even though. I feed the outside cats first thing so I don't forget, and I always wear my bathrobe to feed them. I came in and went to get dressed (I lay my clothes out the night before) and I got to the point of finding my shorts (It's already 85 degrees by this point so I figured do it the easy way, put on shorts first instead of changing a lot) and the shorts were gone! They were on the chair before I went out to feed the cats. Everything else was in the same position as it was before I went out to feed the cats, just the shorts were missing!!! I searched for a good fifteen minutes, figuring I had lost my mind and really hadn't laid them out the night before. I searched the whole house (muttering to myself the whole time that I must be going nuts) when I found them. Khuay had grabbed them and hid them in his favorite hiding spot in the Bissel box that I have beside my computer. That will teach me to curb my sonic booms first thing in the morning!!!!