Today started out strange...thanks to Khuay

@Loverbear (4928)
United States
April 19, 2009 3:44pm CST
I will admit I have a very strange problem first thing in the morning, I can't help it, I fart. It isn't just passing wind, that sounds too polite for the gas that comes out of me! It's more like a sonic boom!!! I'm sure you're wondering what farts have to do with cats, but you'll find out in a minute. I slept late because I had a hard day yesterday. I only got five hours sleep and did a flea market in a town a hundred miles away from my home. I got too much sun and was sick when I got home...and I actually went to bed early; the one plus was that I slept like a log (I still haven's seen a log go to sleep, so how can someone sleep like one?). I FINALLY woke up about 10:45, and as I was waking up and becoming aware to what was around me, I lost my gas and broke the sound barrier. Then I noticed a heavy weight on my abdomen. And even worse, I felt a strange hard mass between my legs. I've only felt it once before, and that was when I gave birth to my daughter. I wasn't quite with it (how many of us wake up with all circuits functioning?) and wondered how I got pregnant (I took care of that problem years ago) and how I could give birth without feeling it. Finally the reasoning circuit came on and I realized that I wasn't giving birth so I hazarded a look. Laying on his back, legs in the air and his overly long tail stretched straight up my breast bone was....you guessed it...Khuay! His head was between my legs with his nose turned to my left side. He was either sound asleep or passed out from the fumes from my earlier gas. I kind of think it was the latter as when I touched him and then tried to pick him up to move him he didn't open his eyes! I did finally revive him and he gave me a dirty look and wandered off. He did get even though. I feed the outside cats first thing so I don't forget, and I always wear my bathrobe to feed them. I came in and went to get dressed (I lay my clothes out the night before) and I got to the point of finding my shorts (It's already 85 degrees by this point so I figured do it the easy way, put on shorts first instead of changing a lot) and the shorts were gone! They were on the chair before I went out to feed the cats. Everything else was in the same position as it was before I went out to feed the cats, just the shorts were missing!!! I searched for a good fifteen minutes, figuring I had lost my mind and really hadn't laid them out the night before. I searched the whole house (muttering to myself the whole time that I must be going nuts) when I found them. Khuay had grabbed them and hid them in his favorite hiding spot in the Bissel box that I have beside my computer. That will teach me to curb my sonic booms first thing in the morning!!!!
2 people like this
5 responses
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
22 Apr 09
OMG--never a dull moment with that Khuay of yours and just WHAT does he have about your shorts? And can't stopped laughing about your sonic boom farts. Whenever I let a few out and my kitties are cuddled up or sleeping with me they not only give me a dirty look, but jump off the bed since they obviously can't stand the smell..LOL
@ElicBxn (60894)
• United States
19 Apr 09
I woke up this morning - well, every time I woke up this morning, I had this TON on my back, one almost on my head! I had Pong and Scamp on my back, Pong right up by the neck. Now, Pong is pretty thin since he's got the same thing Taj had, and I don't have the $700 to pull his teeth, but he's not as bad off as Taj was, so he only weighs about 8-9 lbs, Scamp, however, is probably closer to 14. It was hard to get up from under that!
@Loverbear (4928)
• United States
19 Apr 09
I was kind of lucky this morning. It was Khuay on my abdomen and Murphy by my head. Usually I have Willy walking up my chest to look at me and paw the covers to see if I FINALLY woke up. Willy tips the scales at 16 pounds (he could be a line backer!! It isn't fat, it is pure muscle!) and you know when he lands on you. He jumped up on my abdominal area one morning and hit my bladder...you can guess what almost happened! . I am really fortunate that I have convinced my sister's dog that she CANNOT sleep on my bed. She was used to sleeping in bed with my sis and her husband. I promptly got it through her head that sleeping with me is not acceptable...I don't need 75 pounds of dog in bed with me. Besides it's bad enough with the four cats.
1 person likes this
@Katlady2 (9920)
• United States
21 Apr 09
OMG! I'm laughing so hard that I have tears in my eyes! Poor Khuay! I'm sure that was definitely his way of getting even with you gassing him out! Wait til he does a silent but deadly of his own when he's walking his tail end right past your nose. My Midnight does that to me once in a while...still haven't figured out what he's getting me back for though. Must be some long held grudge. LOL
• United States
20 Apr 09
i just have to say that your story made me laugh. the event was funny, but the way you told it just capped it off. you are a very good writer. and i understand about waking up with cats on top. i have 4 of them, and ofte wake up with them in odd positions on or around me.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
19 Apr 09
That is a bang-up way to start your day. You might try some digestive enzymes for your gas problems. Silly cats, I have one wait a couple of days for revenge.