I need prayers, chants or just positive energy thrown my way.

Thanks so much, TL! Yeah, my mind is made up. I've had enough. NOTHING is worth this much aggravation! I had forgotten all about adding spells to that list! I need positive energy coming my way from as many directions as possible, in whatever form it takes! I'm open and receptive to ALL! So, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

oh, can we get a voodoo doll for the husband?

You bet.... I have friends who can do it.

Prayers........ Dear LadyMarissa, can you please add me to your prayerlist too. I got serious issues going on with Mr. but I really don't feel like going into it all right now but selfishness is at the root of it all. I know just how catsanddogs is feeling because I have been going through it for the past 17 years. I realized that I probably should have tried to seek out a divorce lawyer but the truth is I didn't have the money to pay for one and not to mention the fact that I just don't like a whole lot of drama in my life. I'm a peaceful kind person and all I'm asking is that when you pray, pray that God would send the same kind of person to me. Someone that is peaceful, loving and kind. Oh yeah and please pray for God's guidance in our lives as well. Thanks and may God bless you from head to toe. Happy mylot!

Sorry, Cats, I had to laugh. YOU are telling ME to calm down. Thanks for the chuckle! Anyway, you're right about calming down. Nothing of any use comes out of anger, frustration or irrational thinking. I have been formulating a plan. With my legs acting all funny (kinda rubbery... I'm seeing a neurologist on Thursday) I've talked with my sons AND my husband about me being left alone here 12 hours a day, 5 days a week. It's just not safe. I could fall and break a hip or something and not be able to get help until my husband came home from work. Heaven forbid that should happen, but it could! I'm afraid to be left alone these days. Anyway, my husband's attitude was casual and he kind of just brushed it off as something that just won't happen. My sons told me that they had actually been talking between each other about this very thing. We discussed my youngest son moving in here which would help both him and me out. I wouldn't be alone and I would also have all the help I need, plus he could feel like he was worth something since he's been unable to find a job. Then, we talked about the possibility of my older son having his house (mobile home) moved to our property. We have 3 1/2 acres... PLENTY of room. We could have a septic and well put in so he could still have his own home, but he wouldn't have to pay $400.00 a month in mobile home park rent and I'd have him close by. He works overnight so he'd have my SUV if his car doesn't work (assuming the SUV can be fixed) and I'd have his car in case my SUV didn't work. Plus, he'd be right next door! He loves that idea. My husband will HATE both scenarios. We argued about them living 12 miles away! He didn't feel he had the privacy he wants with them living so close. What he meant was, he didn't want ANYONE coming over, unless they're from HIS family. He wants to keep me like a pet. Hmmm, now that I think about it, that's EXACTLY what he wants! He raised his cat from a tiny kitten, found abandoned before she was even weaned. She is the MEANEST cat I've ever come across! Every time she looks at anyone, even him, she has this squinty-eyed, evil look on her face. He raised her and she's like she is because of the way he treated her. He's turning me into an evil pet! Anyway, because he'll hate the idea of my sons living right next door, he'll most likely leave. (He's just that kinda guy.) That'll be much better because then I can get alimony from him for deserting his disabled wife! Judges tend to frown on things like that. Of course, none of this will happen until or if I get approved for disability. I'll need some kind of income other than the few dollars I make online each month. Plus, it'll be easier for me to prove to a divorce lawyer that I am 100% disabled if I'm on Social Security disability. I'll bide my time. My husband did call me back and feigned innocence. "It was working fine for me," he said. Yeah, right, something killed my SUV between the time he last drove it (Friday) and today, the first time I've tried to drive it since he started using it. Right, uh huh, sure. Driving 90 miles an hour for 3 weeks, 210 miles per day 5 days a week... THAT didn't hurt it... no way! This is a 2005 SUV with only about 38,000 miles on it! A few months ago, I had it inspected and it passed with flying colors. Ah, life. Well, don't worry, Cats, I've calmed down. I chatted with my oldest son (the sensible one) for a few minutes online. It helped. Plus, knowing that so many members of my myLot family care so much... well, it's just overwhelming.

Of course we care about you Marti!! Are you nuts?! lol Sweetie, you know who or what you're married to and you are the one who has to either accept or move on and away from this so called man or he'll drag you down with him. Hasn't he already tried? Gee, if he doesn't like having YOUR sons around, that would be enough for me to say bye bye! You are a package deal regardless if your kids are fully grown or not. You ARE a packaged deal and he's to accept it or leave it. PERIOD.

Prayer needed.......... Hey Catsanddogs, Sorry to hear about what you are going through, I"m going through a very similar situation myself. So I pray that all praying mylotters will keep me lifted up as well. I think there must be quite a few out there that want us until they marry us and then they realize that marriage is work. I think it's a good idea for you to have a plan. Right now you need all the positive energy around you that you can get. Although I'm not so sure that he is going to just up and leave the home that he's been helping to pay for. Well I'm sending up my prayers to God on your behalf and we just never know what God might do in these kind of situations. We could pray against that old selfish spirit of his and God could turn him into the most loving individual you've ever seen. So my only advice is to try to stay in a loving spirit yourself and see if you happen to notice any changes. Often in life we are only getting back what we have given out. Spend some alone time with God and ask him if there is anything wrong that is within you that you might have done. Sometimes we may be doing wrong things to people without even realizing it. I will be praying for peace among the two of you. I have noticed that in my particular situation it's more peaceful. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? But if you know that you are being a peaceful loving person it can never be a bad thing. The bible says that we can literally kill a person with kindness ya know that?So try to be kind if it is possible within you.

Thank you, sunnflr. His first wife was Oriental. I think he was hoping for a Geisha-type female, one who would grant his every wish and desire nothing for herself. But, he didn't get that, so he left her. It appears that he still wants that kind of woman. He knew from the start that I believe, first and foremost, in fairness. This marriage has been way too much one-sided, with him on the high side. He's gotten me too upset too many times. He's broken way too many promises. This is simply the last straw. I do have a plan, though, and it involves me staying right here, even if he moves out. This is one thing I DO have some control over out of all the things that have been going badly. I won't do anything rash but I'm going to ensure that he either treats me fairly and with respect, at the least, or he goes.

Thank you so much, psychotaz. I've been fighting Social Security for seven years now for disability. It's been a nightmare! I'm trying hard to hang in there. He drove me to this psyche exam yesterday and he knows how I freak whenever he tailgates people but, even after I asked him to please not drive so close to the other cars, he wouldn't stop doing it. I'm on blood pressure medicine. I don't need MORE blood pressure medicine! But, since he obviously doesn't care, I'm fed up with it. It's like he wants a pet, not a wife. I have enough going on with my health, a moronic doctor and his stupid staff and stressing over this disability case. I need some peace!

Aww, thank you, sparks! I actually feel the positive energy coming my way! I LOVE it! It's really making me feel so much better and more positive about everything. Most definitely he'll be ensuring that I have something safe to drive, whether he likes it or not. When I bought the thing, he said he wanted to buy it (pay for it) for me. He made maybe 4 payments, then I paid off the entire balance because I had won a class-action lawsuit and it seemed to be more sensible to pay the auto loan off and not pay the interest on it than to have the money sitting in the bank drawing very little interest. I also gave my husband $20,000.00 to put down on his truck (which is the 3rd truck he owned in as many years). He owes me, big time! He doesn't really seem to care about my disabilities. He would rather I be here, alone, 12 hours a day, 5 days a week, than to have help from my sons. I told him I almost didn't make it back to the house once because my legs became all rubbery and I almost collapsed, so he knows how bad I get sometimes. But... No, he still doesn't like my sons coming over once a week. He 'tolerates' it because I put my foot down about it. I wish I knew what his deal is with privacy. I've also decided to stay right here. I've put a lot of work into this house already and every bit of it hurt. I'm not turning my back on it. Besides, it was MY money that we put down on this house! I'm going to either have my youngest son move in here. That would solve my problem plus his. I'll have help when I need it and my son will have a "job" of sorts and feel better about himself. (He still hasn't found any work.) Or, I'll have my older son's mobile home moved here to our property and have a well and septic put in for him. He LOVES that idea, because it will ensure that I have help close by and he won't have to pay $400.00 in mobile home park fees every month, while still having his own home. My husband will despise either scenario, I'm sure. Them living 12 miles away is too close for him! Too bad. As for divorce advice, I rather like your Bic idea. LOL I think I humbled him a bit last night because we got on the subject of money and he was still insisting that he's paid me back everything he "borrowed" from me. I pulled out my bank statements and showed him that he's only paid back $60,000.00 out of the $155,000.00 that he "borrowed". (I never said I wanted the money back; it was he who insisted on repaying me.) Since his world seems to be all about him, he can have it. All I want is my little bit of land and what I've already paid for. He can keep all the toys he bought himself, the toys that have actually ended up costing me a vehicle because he didn't have the money to pay the taxes on his vehicle. "Mr. Responsibility" has proven himself to be anything BUT. I'll email you, though. I'm sure there are things you know about divorce that I don't. I'm tired of being a doormat! I'm tired of "taking it". It's about time I dished out a little of it myself... grrrrrr. Here's to freedom!!!

Wowza darlin'! Email me asap. Have I got an earful for you!!!

Aww, Leenie, thank you. I have a plan formulated now but it will take my being approved for disability first, and I'll be able to stay right here and not have to move. PLUS, my sons will end up living right next door, in their own home. My husband won't like my sons living so close; he doesn't even like them living 12 miles away. He thinks it's too close. But, we revolved that issue, to a point, anyway. He won't like them living next door so he'll probably leave and that's fine with me. No, I didn't get my garden turned. He had the time and the weather was perfect on Saturday and for most of the day Sunday. But, he chose to get drunk instead, as usual. I had that psyche exam yesterday. I think it went well. I also faxed the judge the report from the nerve conduction study I had, plus the info. sheets on all the new medications I have for migraines, vertigo and nausea. Oh, also the one I just got from my rheumatologist for codeine. Hopefully, that, combined with the psyche exam report, will be enough for them to finally approve me. But, I'm still worried, since it's been going on for seven years now. That's why I need everyone's positive energy in whatever form they can send it to me. It sounds like you and your husband have both been going through the wringer! I'm happy that both of us have found myLot. It helps to make a few extra dollars plus great friendships with some pretty terrific people. It also helps to get our minds off of our situations for awhile (well, it does that for me, anyway). Thanks for being here for me. Hugsssssss right back at you! Marti

Thank you, Jen! I wrote this discussion 3 months ago and I'm STILL waiting to hear from Social Security! I can't believe they're taking so long. It can only mean that I'm about to be approved because they're always quick about telling you bad news but, when they have to hand you money, they drag their feet. If I have to wait much longer, I'm going to drive right over the the main office here in Virginia, which is over 100 miles away, and prove just how insane I can be! LOL Thanks again!!!

I did see that it was 3 months ago but I've been sitting chiva all night so maybe you'll hear something. If they don't hurry up, I'll meet you there and they'll give us both a check. I'll sit chiva in the parking lot while your raising the roof..lol

Thank you for sharing that, plddre, but there are no Jehovah's Witnesses in this area.