What is the hardest lesson you have ever had to learn in life?

Life - Life and it's lessons
Netherlands
April 23, 2009 1:38pm CST
It's all a part of life and all a part of growing up...learning. From the time we are born until the time we die we are suppose to be one continuous learning machine! We are suppose to learn when we are children right from wrong from our parents, how to dress ourselves, how to feed ourselves, how to use the restroom and then we are old enough to go to school and learn all of the lessons that books have to teach us there and how to get along with others and then we grow into adults and we are suppose to continue to learn about life, relationships, earning a living and all of the other things that go along with life. Some people find it easier to learn different things but that is why we are all different. Where one may learn better from books another may learn better from life. So my question to everyone is...what has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn so far in your life? For me, I suppose it may have been that people are not always what they seem to be and that you have to be careful who you let into your life and trust...and you?
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29 responses
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Apr 09
Trust is probably at the top of everyone's list, and normally it would be mine too, but I think, now, for me, the hardest lesson I had to learn was that a 'leap of faith' is necessary at times to just be able to go forward in life. The ability to believe with a pureness and complete trust is not an easy thing to do, but oh the reward!
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• United States
24 Apr 09
So True! I just about have the faith thingy working... but still having trouble with my leaping! will ya gimme a push??
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• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Apr 09
Push!..................oh sh*t woman, you weren't supposed to fall off the edge, you were supposed to leap to the other side! LOL
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• United States
24 Apr 09
*hanging on to tree limb* now ya tell me!!!!! heeelllllllpppppppppp!!!!!!!
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@p1kef1sh (45640)
26 Apr 09
The hardest thing? To accept that I am allowed to get angry - even though it rarely happens!
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@mummymo (23707)
28 Apr 09
do you really, really get angry sweety? I just can't picture it! You are so lovable! xxxx
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@p1kef1sh (45640)
28 Apr 09
That's the problem Mummymo. I don't get angry and sometimes I really ought to.
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• Netherlands
2 May 09
It's taken me so long to get through all of these answers that I have almost missed the party over here haven't I?? P1key!! You have a big problem with this one! I know it is hard to change the way you think but you truly need to Accept that it is OK for you to get angry! Everyone else does and is allowed to when something is not right in the state of Denmark so why in the World not you? If you don't accept this and if you do not allow yourself to get angry when you have good reason then; #1 Everyone is going to walk all over you #2 You will probably one day just explode! It is Not physically healthy to hold your anger in, in fact it is very dangerous to your health, it affects your heart, stomach, mind and many more parts of your, what I assume, gorgeous body!!!!!! It seems to me like maybe you need to take some training for this problem! I know there is anger management training out there and there is also training available for people that have problems showing their true feelings!! I am sure that this would help you. You don't have to become an ogre, you only need to learn It's OK to Be and Show anger!! By the way, I'm curious like Aliceinwebland...don't you even get angry when you stub your little toe on the bedpost? Thanks so much for responding!
@Trensue (5256)
• United States
23 Apr 09
I think my hardest lesson is the fact that the only one I have any control over or hope of changing is myself. I can't believe how many years I wasted trying to help people be something they had no interest in being. Often I have to be reminded again. It think it will always be an issue for me.
2 people like this
• Netherlands
26 Apr 09
This is a wonderful and very important lesson to learn in life. It is one of my biggest pet peeves when people are always trying to run other peoples life and control what they do. That is one of the main problems in this World today. Everyone thinks they know what is best and tries to get everyone to do what they want them to do. One of my favorite sayings in life is: "You go off and take care of your own life, get yourself and your own life straightened out and when you are 100% straightened out then you come back and see me and you can then straighten out my life"!! Funny thing is...No One has Ever come back to me after that because No One has Ever been able to successfully straighten out their own life! Thanks for responding!
@Trensue (5256)
• United States
26 Apr 09
That is great advice. I keep hoping to help the kids or grandkids make good decisions and then have to remind myself they are completely their decisions. Since I can not convince my husband that calling me names and yelling at me is not helping I have purchased earplugs. It is helpful not to hear it anymore and it is after all his life.
@Canellita (12058)
• United States
24 Apr 09
I guess the hardest lesson has been navigating through life as an adult and making the best possible decions and behaving with maturity through it all.
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• Netherlands
26 Apr 09
Yes, acting maturely and making mature decisions is not always easy is it? We spend so many years to get to this point, (trying to grow up as fast as we can and be acknowledged as an adult), leaning right from wrong, always being told to grow up and act mature and then when you get to that point...the point you will stay at the rest of your life, it's just not always easy and in fact a lot of people never mature and try to spend our lives being childish again because we find that we don't always like what being mature entails! Thanks a lot Canellita for responding!
• Philippines
24 Apr 09
For me,loving someone too much and forgetting about yourself and family because of the said person.This really made me stop and think,I realized that I gave too much for this person and all he did was break my trust and heart.I don't want to be in this situation again but we can't tell what fate has in store for me.I think I just have to be prepared next time and careful too.
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• Netherlands
26 Apr 09
Oh I think that is a very important lesson to learn. It is wonderful to love someone completely but when you start giving up family and most importantly yourself it has gone way too far. This then gives the other person the upper hand and I find that is when you really begin to get hurt and then of course it is too late to do anything about it unless you get the courage to just walk away! At least you know this now first hand and while you will find another person that you can love completely you will be prepared and hopefully remember this experience so it won't happen again! Thanks for responding!
• United States
24 Apr 09
The hardest lesson I have ever learned has been to never answer questions that were not asked. This is a hard thing because when people make statements or comments about something it is assumed that they want your response. This is not always true. I have found people to be ambivalent about this. They want your response until your response does not agree with their statement or actions. Yet, when I have made no response to someone's comment it was assumed that I was not interested or non-caring. Not too long ago a friend of mine wrote me a letter. I answered the letter by asking some questions. When they responded to my questions I wrote a letter back giving my thoughts concerning their response. That was the end of a fifteen year friendship. I was not unkind in my thoughts. However my thoughts were not solicited and caused pain I did not intend to inflict. So, now, I am learning to listen very carefully to what people have to say. I am careful about expressing my opinion unless I am asked to share my thoughts. And, I do not answer questions people do not ask. Along with that, I have also discovered through the same lesson, that I cannot expect answers to questions I do not ask. I no longer assume that people will tell me what I want to know without asking them; and I no longer assume that people want my answers unless they ask the question.
• Netherlands
26 Apr 09
This is so true, one should never assume that people actually Want your opinion even if they do happen to ask for it. I find usually it is accepted just fine when you are telling them what they want to hear but the minute you don't you get into a lot of trouble...or in your case loose a friendship entirely!! Thanks for responding!
23 Apr 09
Hardest for me was loving someone and never gettin it back, even when you have been living with them for years you just give and give and never recieve. Iv learned that sometimes you can never do enough for someone as they will throw it back on your face so giving up is the only option.
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• Netherlands
26 Apr 09
I agree with you 100% I think if you give and give and give until you feel you just can not give anymore and you still receive nothing in return then it is definitely time to give up. It is not right that one should waste their life on someone or something that just does not appreciate it. We have but one life so we definitely should try not to waste it. Once you move on you would be surprised that there is a wonderful World out there with many wonderful people and one day you will finally find someone that will treat you with love, kindness and respect...just the way you deserve to be treated! Thanks for responding!
• United States
23 Apr 09
There have been so many.. and many that I am struggling to learn still.. I suppose my hardest lesson has been .. learning to let go.. it seems that I have spent a lifetime just holding on to whatever I could hold on to, to feel secure and even loved and needed.. and when the winds of change come.. I just don't want to let go. Sometimes I wonder why life has to hurt so damn bad.
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• Netherlands
26 Apr 09
I certainly agree with you, learning to let go is not only a difficult lesson to learn but very painful also. Unfortunately it is something that everyone must go through at least once in their lives and of course it is feels so unfair that life has to hurt! The really unfortunate thing is that it never seems to get any easier no matter how many times one goes through it! Thanks for responding!
@duskiss (98)
• China
23 Apr 09
On my part the hardest lesson by far I have ever learn is how to shoulder resposibility, learn about how to be mature, learn how to prepare for a future family and to support parent. It's a difficult transition as if everything in life until now all changes at a short time.
• Netherlands
26 Apr 09
I agree with you that learning responsibility and preparing for the future, family, parenthood, paying bills, earning a living is a very difficult lesson to learn. And of course everything that has learned before is to prepare you for just this time! Thanks for responding!
• Philippines
23 Apr 09
Since I'm still young, I have yet a lot to learn, but so far the hardest lesson (and I'm still trying to learn it) would be forgiveness. I'm the kind of person who finds it hard to apologize if the person I've done wrong to has also done me wrong. And I find it hard to forgive someone who has deeply wounded me emotionally. I know it's wrong and that I shouldn't be that way, but you have to admit, it's easier said than done. And like I said, I'm still learning.
• Netherlands
24 Apr 09
Join the club, I still have a hard time with that one also! If someone has deeply wounded me then I don't think I ever fully forgive them because unless I care for them deeply they can not wound me and I do not expect anyone I care about to do that. As for apologizing, I am the first one to apologize if I feel I am wrong and I mean it from the bottom of my heart...But when you talk about it the way you do, then I also have problems apologizing when the other person has done me wrong also...in fact it is almost an impossibility that I will apologize in that instance! Thanks for your response!
@maxbest (97)
• China
23 Apr 09
It seems a little difficult to choose a hardest one among so many failure lessons.I would like to pull one out,all that was from my impulse,I just broke my best friend's heart,he didn't trust me anymore since then,I had learn from the lesson that I must resist my tempertation once something happened,especially bad things.
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• Netherlands
24 Apr 09
Yes resisting temptation is a very difficult lesson to learn made even harder when you loose someone that you care about because you haven't yet learned it. Hopefully you have now and hopefully one day your best friend will be able to forgive you and you can have a relationship again, only better next time. Thanks for responding!
@meandmy3 (2229)
• United States
23 Apr 09
That mommies and daddies die just like everyone else and that nothing you do can bring them back. That sometimes love is not enough, you can love someone with all that you are and they can love you back, but at times that is not enough to make a relationship work and the best thing to do for everyone involved is to walk away.
• Netherlands
24 Apr 09
This is just so touching and so very true. And it is a lesson that never gets any easier with time unfortunately...I am sorry. Thank you for responding.
@landi927 (657)
• China
23 Apr 09
For me,the hardest thing is to get along with different kinds of people.We have to meet various people during our lifetime.We had playmates when we were kids.When we went to school,we had classmates in the school and also friends outside the school.We have to get along with our parents in the most time of our life.When we grow up,we will have our own family,we have to learn how to organize a family well.etc.There are so many people we need to meet.They have different characteristics,maybe rude,maybe kind,maybe selfish,maybe honest,etc.Obviously,when getting along different kinds of people, we have different ways.All this cannot be learnt from our parents or teachers.The only way to master this skill is to experience.That's why I think it is the most difficult lesson for me.But all in all,I am doing not bad in this.Although there must be someone who don't like me or even hate me,I still have lots of friends.
2 people like this
• Netherlands
24 Apr 09
That's a really good one. I agree learning how to get along with so many different people from so many different walks of life with so many different personalities is a very hard lesson to learn. And it is the one lesson that we have to Continuously learn every day of our lives...we never graduate from this lesson! Thanks for responding!
@lampar (7597)
• United States
5 May 09
It is hard to pin point the hardest lesson in all those years of mine growing up, these are so many of equally difficult lessons for me to learn. Having the courage to love, to resist temptation, n to be compassionate to fellow man n woman. Indeed every lesson i manage to learn in life is rather hard than easy due to the fact i was not born in a privilege family , so it is difficulty in every step of my years from childhood to adulthood, and i still manage to hang in there.
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
6 May 09
Hi Lampar! It is great to see you! I have to agree with you, I think that all lessons that we learn are not very easy, some of course a bit harder than others but all hard just the same. I also had difficulty every step of the way and I like you, was not born in a privileged family so we had those extra lessons to learn it seems. With privilege brought "things" and of course when you are not from privilege you have to learn that those "things" just do not come your way easily...if ever! It was hard seeing the other kids, and adults, (but it's easier now), with things and knowing that I would Never have them but I think in some respect that made me better. Not better than anyone else mind you, but a better person in and for myself. I've learned how Not to have things and to appreciate what I do have. I've also learned that if I have a bit of a windfall, money wise, I don't just go out and spend it frivolously because I can, I think very hard and then decide, spend it or possible save it for that rainy day that I Know is going to come my way! I am like you also that I had a hard time learning to have the courage to love, sounds crazy I know, but some people are just afraid of being hurt, like myself and you I assume, so having the courage to love anyone besides my parents was a real hard one for me. Resisting temptation?? Well I still haven't COMPLETELY Mastered that one yet...so if you have any tips you wish to share I am all ears!! Compassion for some reason I never had any problems with that one. I have always had a very hard exterior but anyone that knows me any length of time at all knows I Can be a real softie, and extremely compassionate. But I do have to say that hard exterior is very real also. I can be as hard as they come and extremely stubborn so to reach that soft inside, (I sound like a piece of candy!!), sometimes you do have to break through a little bit unless you just happen to get to my heart the moment I see or meet you! I'm happy that we both still manage to hang in there though and all in all I think we Both turned out pretty darn good! Thanks so much for your response and it was really great to see you here!
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@lampar (7597)
• United States
7 May 09
In order to answer your question, the hardest lesson for me is the growing up itself, every chapter in it is hard , they all add up to become the 'hardest' i ever encountered. As for the temptation, i can hardly overcome it myself let alone be able to advise you with my 2 cents, but i will sure PM you if i find the enlighten path in my later life.
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• Netherlands
25 Feb 10
Thanks Lampar, I will look forward to receiving that PM so I can be as enlightened as you! ;)
@mummymo (23707)
28 Apr 09
I love to learn new things sweety but I think the worst thing is that for every new thing I learn 2 old things are forgotten! I think the hardest lesson I have learnt is that whilst it is important to care about , look out for and defend others we also have to consider ourselves and not let ourselves be run down or pushed aside! Sending you huge hugs xxx
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• Netherlands
2 May 09
HI Mummymo!!!It's so good to see you here! Oh I know very well what you mean, I seem to have the same problem! I learn something new and then forget some important old ones!!! I don't know! They say the mind is the first to go and I am truly starting to believe that one!! I do love the lesson though about considering ourselves and not get run down or pushed aside! It is so true! And if we are run down and no good to ourselves how can we be good with caring for anyone else!! Thank you so much for taking the time to respond...now go lie down and take care of yourself!! Sending lots of big hugs your way XXX's! I'll be in touch soon I promise and I love the bunnies...Grandma!!! :D
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@mummymo (23707)
2 May 09
LOL I wish I had been able ot go for a lie down! Niamh has ended up with her arm in a plaster cast and is feeling down, not cos she is in pain but cos of all the things she can't do! I took her to a film at the cinema tonight and she loved it! I thought I would hate it and the seats would kill me but the seats are much better than they used to be in our new cinema and the film was fantastic! Hugs xxxx
• Philippines
8 Feb 10
To let go is the hardest lesson I ever learned. it seems so easy to say but so difficult to do but for the better, you have to learn it fast.
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
25 Feb 10
I also think that letting go is such a hard lesson to learn Sharlionse. I think it may have something to do with not wanting to fail, being a bit afraid of the unknown, being alone and not wanting to give up and admit defeat. Thank you for your response! ;)
• United States
5 Jan 10
The greatest lesson I ever learned is that life is very short to be mad, and that Love will overcome any obstacle, let it be financial or emotional, and whatever it is thrwon at you never ever become cynical or bitter because that new business or that new person is always around the corner and you got to be your best no matter what =)
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• Netherlands
25 Feb 10
Hello Benjamin, I have to say I think that the greatest lesson(s) that you have learned are some of the best that I can think of. If we all could learn this lesson and live this way then I think the World would be a much better place for all of us to live in! Thanks for responding! ;)
• India
28 Apr 09
I am very dulll kind of person for studies .... I always start reading before 3 to 4 days at the time of my exams ... and most of the time I get very low marks & I even failed for many times. So finally I have learned from my past experiance that .. from my next exam I am going to start study before 2 wweeks... The biggest leason learned.
• Netherlands
2 May 09
I am truly glad that you have learned this lesson because if not, it will carry into your adult life and things can be so much harder for you than they need to be. I think you will find that if you apply yourself a little more you will be amazed at the change and if you start getting good grades and passing those tests it very well may make you feel better about yourself and know you can achieve anything you set your mind to as long as you work for it! It is a very tough lesson to learn and I'm happy you learned it before it is too late! Congratulations! Thanks for responding!
• United States
24 Apr 09
The hardest thing for me is learning to love my self. I battle with myself for years. I treated myself like crap,meaning the food I ate wasn't always the best, the men I've dated before marriage. taking care of my outter appearance as well as in. my life started off as a competition and I am finally learning me. and loving me for me. I don't have to cover up to get peoples approval now, its either you love me or leave me because in the end its just me. I made life harder because I chose to go against myself battle myself when all I had to do was truly love oneself better... that has been the hardest thing to learn in my life time :)
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• Netherlands
2 May 09
A lot of people have the same problem. They just can't love themselves and treat themselves and allow others to treat them terribly! I am so glad that you have learned to love yourself and accept yourself for who and what you are. I honestly believe with all of my heart that if you don't love yourself and see your importance then you can Never love someone else the way they should be! Congratulations! Thanks for responding!
• Indonesia
24 Apr 09
The hardest things to be learned for me could be swimming. I am really scare when i get in water. I think that i will never be able to swim.
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• Netherlands
2 May 09
I have to admit that learning to swim was not easy for me. In fact I had to be sent for private lessons to learn. Would you believe now I love the water and swimming almost more than anything and I became a swimming instructor teaching babies and very little children how to swim!! So I have no doubts you can learn and given time you probably will and love it! Good Luck! Thanks for your response!