What happens in your household when you don't feel well?

By Amy
Abernathy, Texas
April 26, 2009 7:36pm CST
When mommy gets sick does your husband take over, cook meals, clean up, tke care of the kids and try to keep them quiet when you have a headache and/or a cold or flu? Or do you do everything despite sneezing, watery eyes, exhaustion and/or the horrible pain of a headache and maybe feeling dizzy when you bend down? Or perhaps you try to lay down while chaos erupts around you, kids fight, music and tv blares, kids run in asking for things or fighting or playing loudly. Your husband asks you what's for dinner?
5 people like this
18 responses
• Philippines
27 Apr 09
when i am sick but can still get up, my husband would just tell me to take some meds and go off to work. he wouldn't even help me wash the dishes after eating or do some simple house chores. he would leave it all for me to do when i feel better. he would only stay home to take care of our 4-year-old when i can't get up anymore. it only happens when my migraine attacks and i have to lie in bed.
• Philippines
15 May 09
My migraine seldom attacks but when it does, I feel like my head is being hammered. And the pain is on one side of the forehead, not the whole. I also feel nauseous, can't get up, can't sleep, can't eat or I'll throw up. Since I seldom get it, I didn't go to a doctor to have it checked. So I'm not taking any meds. I noticed that I only got migraine attacks after I gave birth. I think lack of sleep triggers my migraine.
• Abernathy, Texas
9 Jun 10
You may be right about the lack of sleep. Its one trigger. My biggest triggers are scents, changes in air pressure, lack of sleep, certain foods, flashing lights...and my monthly friend
@gemini_rose (16193)
27 Apr 09
When mummy gets sick its a case of tough luck for me hehe!!! I had a flu virus not so long ago, gosh I felt ill but I still had to get up and take the kids to school and run the house and some days I could hardly walk it was awful. Luckily I am not ill very often.
• Abernathy, Texas
9 Jun 10
I hear that all too often. What happens when daddy gets sick? If he expects you to take care and pamper him - what would happen if you didn't? Or if you said, isn't this nice, I love when someone does this for me when I'm sick - oh wait - no one does. But that's passive aggressive. Or if you said right up front - okay mommy's sick, how is everyone going to pitch in like a family to make the household work while I recover?
• Abernathy, Texas
9 Jun 10
Is that a personal photo of yours as your avatar because its really beautiful!
@KrauseHome (35526)
• United States
28 Apr 09
Well, due to being Diabetic, etc. there are a lot of times when I am not feeling the Best, and cannot do as much as I would like too. A couple of yrs. ago I had chronic wounds and could not do much at all, and my husband pretty much took over. He still does a lot of stuff around here to help out, which is Good since I am going to have Cataract Surgery June 1st.
• Abernathy, Texas
9 Jun 10
I took a bit of a break - how did your surgery go?
@txgrl21 (819)
• United States
27 Apr 09
HI artemis432! Grandma comes to the rescue! I would let my husband take care of things but you know that feeling that you would rather have someone do things your way or they're just not right? Well me and my mom are alot alike so it's great to have her around to help out with my baby or whatever. Happy MyLotting!
• Abernathy, Texas
9 Jun 10
You are lucky txgrl21! My mom lives far away - and she had us late in life so now she's 75! Hey are you from texas - wondering from your name. Just moved to corpus christi. Live on the island.
• India
27 Apr 09
hey since i m the guy so its other way around if my wife does get sick or something i do a lil work for like clean up the room and get her some liquids and stuff . also i take her to doctor and make her rest as much as possible .as for most the cleaning and cooking i live in a joint family so my bro's wife does all the cleaning and my mom helps cooking .
• Abernathy, Texas
29 Apr 09
Wow you guys got a deal - someone else does all the cleaning and cooking - is it because your bro's wife doesn't work? Or is it because she's staying at your house? I think its soooo cool that you care for her that way. I guess you take her to the doc when its an ear, sinus or throat infection. Just in case she needs antibiotics. Unless of course you take her to an alternative medicine doctor to shorten the duration and help the symptoms without medicine. Again I think its so great how you care for her!
@lia713 (32)
• Singapore
27 Apr 09
My husband does help if he's around. But it's my nature of doing all this thing on my own though I'm not well. I just feel restless lying down. It helps me forget of my sickness when I'm busy with the household chores.
• Abernathy, Texas
29 Apr 09
Your husband helps when he's not at work? That's really nice. A lot of people get restless, but with many, sleep keeps the duration of the cold shorter - because the immune system kicks in more readily. Of course exercise of the chores is good too!
@Archie0 (4669)
27 Apr 09
Ahh dont ask, i always sick very often.because i am weak from inside.my body does not perform certain functions in a proper way. by the way i look no can believe i ever fall sick, but the mostly fallen sick person is me. then my houselhold chores are at a hold, as i stay with my younger sister only i have to do all the work and then it is hard for me to do when am not well.as since yesterday i am not well, my throat is bad and it is swollen badly at the left side. so am very loose today cannot do any work.
• Abernathy, Texas
29 Apr 09
I'm so sorry this happens for you - is it Epstein Barr or Fibromyalgia?
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
27 Apr 09
I feel getting sick is a luxury I can't afford! You would think that the household might just fall apart without my input! Suddenly no one knows where anything is and tidying up is just way too complicated for any family member to accomplish by themselves! You would think that I had studied for years and years to achieve a degree in how to take care of a house and provide some food on the table! It is a sore subject with me artemis! I have a lie down and men, children and animals are starving. Aghh!!!....Not fair I tell you, not fair! I swear next time I am sick I am going to lock myself in my room and let the house fall down!
• Abernathy, Texas
29 Apr 09
You should just as an experiment. I started out of the blue taking sundays off, sometimes I sweep once or twice, or do a load of laundry - forgetting myself but mostly I just play with my little one - but let Daniel keep half an eye out as well while he's playing his World of Warcraft while I keep half an eye out and I read or do crosswords. I'm still debating whether its worth it because by Monday the house is a shambles., dishes stacked in the sink, and my little snoogs stayed in all of Sunday!
@Brighty (14)
• Estonia
27 Apr 09
When I feel ill, I still need to do things around the house. No time to lay in bed. But if my bf gets ill, he's like almost dieing and I have to take care of him, and household.
• Abernathy, Texas
29 Apr 09
Yep every boyfriend - three - I've ever had has been like that, one had his mom to care for him, one wanted me to and whined all the way - but expected me to do everything I'd done before when I was sick and could hardly breathe - go out, stay in and be romantic - not clean though - as I didn't live with him. Actually my husband is quiet about it and I try to take care of him but he wants nothing of it, he doesn't even like me to get him juice while I'm in the kitchen - very independent. He just wants to shut the door and lay down- when its really bad - usually nothing keeps him from wow! I'd love to do that for a few hours right now! What would happen if you did what he did and just laid in bed, were assumptive and wrote him a note on what needed to be done? Would he rush you to the ER thinking your fever had skyrocketed?
@lazeebee (5468)
• Malaysia
27 Apr 09
We don't have any kids, so that's less one of my worries. So whenever I fall sick, I would ask my husband to get his own meals. I prefer to be left alone, and will sleep through; if I were to ask him to cook, he will be asking me how, what and what-nots, which would irritate me very much.
• Abernathy, Texas
29 Apr 09
The great thing about my husband is he doesn't eat my food - too many veggies (he rarely eats the stuff) not enough thick sauce and preservatives and other stuff. He likes canned things like ravioli and spam and things like that so we always do our own meals. I can see how that would be irritating him asking every step of the way what to do!
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
27 Apr 09
Well I live alone now, so if I'm sick I still have to do things. But even when my mother was still alive I was sort of "mommy"...my mother was more like the child and me the mom in many ways, particularly the last few years of her life when she really didn't contribute to doing much of anything--I kept asking her, well, what if you lived alone, then you would have to do things for yourself, but talk about it going through deaf ears. For about a good fifteen year span it was up to me to do everything...clean, cook, do errands, no matter how lousy I felt, even with my worse bouts of bronchitis and sounded like Darth Vader when I breathed...LOL. Believe me I HATED those years of feeling like it was all up to me to do everything while she sat around and did nothing --I really don't mind it so much now, number one...not as sick as much (think a lot of my illnesses were triggered off from stress) and I just plain don't have all the crap I had to put up with when my mother was alive
• Abernathy, Texas
29 Apr 09
I'm glad you aren't sick as much but sorry you went through that. It was the same with me growing up, I'd have to come down three sets of stairs in our townhouse to pick up things she dropped or serve her collegues - forget about when she was sick - for her it was phlebitis I stayed intomy early twenties - I almost left once - offered a live in nanny position but she told me I wasn't ready (she wasn't ready to lose her slave and emotional support)and if I left she'd disown me. I mainly rested when sick. She was too large to come up to take care of me (she's tiny now). Although when I did have my wisdom teeth out she really took care of me - although she still smoked around me.
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
27 Apr 09
Well since I am alone there's not much change when i am sick! LOL....I take care of me....all my kids live a good distance from me too so I am on my own....but I remember the days when I was married.....and had a jerk husband....I had the flu once...was throwing up etc.....and he told me to get off the couch and do the supper dishes....two nights later when he was sick I returned the favor...
• Abernathy, Texas
29 Apr 09
Good for you! When my mom had her first baby with her first husband (who soon after decided that he really didn't like being a husband and father too much work - in an age when women were raised to marry) was like that. She was up day and night with Lisa who had colic and one day he got so pissed at the amount of his laundry that had piled up he threw it down the stairs at her and told her to get to it. In a slightly unrelated story, my dad told her to catch a cab when she was in labour! I thought my husband really helpful. Like when robbie first started eating in his high chair and was very messy, it was a chore to clean him up, change him, c lean the diaper and the floor and the walls. I noticed that my hubby was cleaning stuff off the floor so I thought wow! team work! So from then on, I let him do that part. Then I found out he was complaining to his brother about how I left food on the floor! How messy I am. I can't tell you how many messes I clean up over and over during the day with a toddler. I take sundays off - kind of-which means Monday the house is upside down. I don't get sick alot but after an infiltration I got a cold and he stayed home and took care of me. Now I have another cold years later and doesn't bother saying you lay down and sleep, I'll take care of our little one - too addicted to wow!
• United States
27 Apr 09
I'm a stay at home dad so I take care of a lot of stuff. When one of gets sick the other takes over and then takes care of the sick person.
• Abernathy, Texas
29 Apr 09
I think I remember you saying that before - that you're a stay at home dad. I think its good that you guys take over for each other, in many situations where its a stay at home mom that takes care of a lot of stuff, they still have to when they're sick. I've seen it from far away, or heard clients speak of it but saw it up close with an ex boyfriends mom. She was one of those moms that worked and took card of the house - just went above and beyond. My ex was still living at home because he was taking Computer Science - a really heavy workload (he went on to go to George Washington and now has a Doctorate - which was a free ride). They took advantage of their mom I thought, because she let them. She went out and got movies and snacks when friends were over, cleaned THEIR bathroom, did their laundry. And when she was sick, she still was expected to clean the house, serve the teens and take care of her husband. While when her husband was sick, he hibernated away in the bedroom and expected her to take care of him. I have to admit, she chose the situation. Still. I told him that when we got married (he expected to get married and have two kids) this WAS not going to happen.
• United States
27 Apr 09
I get sick quite often because of my diabetes..there are days I am up and then there are days I am down and catching a cold or having the flu makes it about a thousand times worse. I think I tend to do all of those things you mentioned above. It depends on how bad I am feeling on that certain day, there are days where I push to get done what I need and then there are others where I just can't move no matter how hard i push myself and those are the days where my kids run free and I could care less what they are destroying :) But its not like they are running completely free because my husband is with them and he really helps me out when I get really down...I try not to let myself get real lazy because I think it makes me feel a bit worse then if I get up and try to get myself around.
• Abernathy, Texas
29 Apr 09
I think that's a good plan. A happy medium. Sleep helps the immune system so rest is optimal, but its good not to get totally unused to doing things!
• Philippines
17 May 09
I hate it when my mom is sick, hehe, It just that I'm used to the fact that she's a wonderwoman that always stays strong for the family. Maybe I'm selfish, but I just want to point out that my mom is the anchor that keep my family intact , not straying or whatever. When she gets sick, the orderliness of our universe just suddenly erupts, hehe, but everyone chips in, that everyone is me...that's why I hate it... My father is too old and kinda self-absorbed, I have one brother and just like any other guys , so not doing household because of the pride thing.. and everything is left to me , just because I'm a girl...why o why, does society always burden the girls with all the responsibilites
@dmrone (751)
• United States
28 Apr 09
Hi artemis432! If my husband is home, he will try to help out with the children, cooking, and cleaning. If he is gone working, then i have to suffer through it, and do the things i normally have to do. My oldest children will come to help if they can, but usually it is me just suffering through it, and doing things myself.
27 Apr 09
When i get sick my mate does it all, he helps me alot, but also i dont need to be sick for him to help me though! Witch is a good thing!!
@madasp (563)
• United States
27 Apr 09
"husband take over" hahahahaha roflmao! But anyway, no. If i'm sick its still up to me to keep the house running and the kids alive. To be fair, though, its partly my fault. I have some issues with things getting done the way that I want them done so over the years he's just stopped offering to help with any cleaning or laundry, etc...He does do a lot of the cooking and can take care of the baby if i'm really bad off, but it usually takes alot for me to give up and go to bed.