Are you kind to yourself?

@Pose123 (21671)
Canada
April 28, 2009 10:47am CST
There are many of us who judge ourselves much more harshly than we do others.If someones tells us of a fault, or admits to doing something that most people would not approve off, we quickly assure them that it's not as bad as it looks and suggest that they forgive themselves and move on with their life. Meanwhile if the same thing happens to us, we have a completely different attitude and are very critical of ourselves. It is as if the advice we offer others don't apply to us. Do you find this happening in your life or have you recognized it and followed your own advice to "move on".
2 people like this
13 responses
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
28 Apr 09
I TRY to follow what my head knows is the right way but my heart can be a real pain. My own mirror shows me to be kind but troubled, human though I deny it if I can. It is so hard to listen to the inner voice that knows we are being to hard or even not hard enough.
1 person likes this
• Lithuania
29 Apr 09
Yeah, I always trust to my head. Sometimes heart says different things, but I always trust what my head says
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
30 Apr 09
Hi TLChimes Thanks for commenting and I understand what you mean. Blessings.
@France7 (385)
• Philippines
30 Apr 09
Hello there pose. I do encounter such situation in my life. It is easy to encourage others to move on but it gives such a difficult feeling when I am in a similar situation. At times, I try to solve things out by my own, but i end up being discouraged at myself. And through those times, it made me realize how weak I am; it is totally impossible for me to solve problems by my own strength. Nevertheless, I can say that I always manage to move on through God's help.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
3 May 09
Hi France, Thank you for your thoughts on this, It's amazing how many people feel the same. Blessings.
@Ravenladyj (22992)
• United States
29 Apr 09
I have always been very critical of myself partly because it was how I was raised (nothing I ever did or do has been good enough for my family) and partly becuase i'm a Virgo and we are perfectionists LOL....However over the yrs I've slowly but surely learned to NOT be so harsh on myself though sometimes it really is a task for me...especially without my medication for depression...I know that when I go off my meds for whatever reason for any period of time i pretty much beat myself up left, right and centre..
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
29 Apr 09
Hi Ravenladyj, Thank you for commenting. It is interesting that so many people are like that. For years I expected perfection from myself but easily excused others. I know better now and am learning not to be so harsh with myself. Blessings.
• India
29 Apr 09
I always have been the way i wanted to be n the way i like other to be too. Its so sick to see people hate others for stupid reasons n i never do tat. I expect everyone to be kind n friendly n i always am tat way no matter wat the other person does to me .. But after all these years i ve only found that m the only one to be so kind n soft to people holding everything within n not hurting anyone .. They just 'find' mistakes u wouldn ve done intentionally n even if u forgive dem always, they wouldn.. Now i feel its not like u teaching others your way. Its jus tat u must learn everyones way of bein rude at times and kind depending on situation to live on wit respect n care.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
29 Apr 09
Hi dilip, Thank You for commenting. Blessings.
@sukumar794 (5047)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
29 Apr 09
Not really. My disposition does not in any way attract any sort of kindness as I often feel that I am one among those who are living a cursed life.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
29 Apr 09
Hi sukumar, Thank you for commenting. Unless you're happy that way, why not try to change your attitude? Blessings.
@karbuks (270)
• Philippines
29 Apr 09
sometimes it's easy to give advice to other people but when we experience the same situation, it seems that we find it hard to follow the best advice. Maybe it's because we are still hurt, in pain and confused. but for me, I'm not really that harsh to myself, i'll just do what is best for me.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
29 Apr 09
Hi karbuks, Thank you for responding and continue to do what's best for you. Blessings.
• Philippines
29 Apr 09
I get really upset when ever i missed something or don't do the job well. it's not every day that we get to push ourselves just for the sake of either living out of the fear or making us a better person. but i can be kind to myself, most specially if things are clam and gold.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
29 Apr 09
Hi Mikaela, Thank you for commenting. I think that we always need to be kind to ourselves. Blessings.
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
28 Apr 09
Well this one does happened to me most of the time. Its like ,its much easier to help others than to help ourselves. Sometimes we need to listen to ourselves speak this words of encouragement for us to believe it somehow that this things we say to others can also be applied to us and sometimes when it would be our turn to have this kind of situations our friends will be the one to remind us what we told them before. I hope I am not confusing you pose. have a good day.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
29 Apr 09
Hi Helscream, Thank you for responding and you are not confusing me at all, yo make perfect sense. Of course we do need to keep reminding ourselves. Have you read the book, "I'm Okay, You're Okay? Blessings.
• United States
28 Apr 09
Pose- I'm incredibly hard on myself. If something is every brought up about me I tend to take it very personally and work to change it. It's the struggle of "You can't please all of the people all of the time" for me. It's been something I've been working on for a long time, but still struggle with. I at times find that certain things said to me can remain on my mind for a long time, even when they seem to have faded away from anyone truly commenting or such. So, I've been really working on those positive affirmations that I teach others about. (Trying to live what I preach so to speak ) So, with that, I'm working on truly accepting me, even when I make mistakes because I generally learn from them and everyone makes mistakes. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
29 Apr 09
Hi Anora, Thank you for commenting and I've had the same problem myself but I'm improving. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
28 Apr 09
THat would be me......I am very hard on myself....while very patience and forgiving to others I have a tendency to beat myself up over even small things....it's like a perfection complex....the house used to have to always be clean or I would stay up until it was....I have gotten past that one now as I am so busy with other things...but if someone critizes me.....I can be in the dumps for a while.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
29 Apr 09
Hi jillhill, Thank you for commenting. I think it's amazing just how many people are like that, I'm just now learning the importance of being kind to myself. Blessings.
@savypat (20248)
• United States
28 Apr 09
I realize that no matter what has happened, I have done the very best I can with the information I had at the time. I try to learn from each situation and never go back to the past, because there is nothing I can do about it now. If I can just get through life without hurting anyone I will be very happy.
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
30 Apr 09
Hi savypat, Thank you for commenting and you have some excellent thoughts there. Blessings.
@pwning (38)
29 Apr 09
i will set a target to myself. so i will not do wrong things anyday and won't to be mean to punish myself. but if i have some careless mistakes, i won't be mean to punish myself. i will kind and ask myself where do i do wrong and do better next time. be happy always!
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
29 Apr 09
Hi pwning, Thank you for commenting. Blessings.
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
29 Apr 09
I can so relate to your words! I am great at giving advice and telling others to be kind and take care of themselves but I can be my own worst enemy! I expect perfection from myself which intellectually I know is an impossible! It is one of my lessons in life I think; to learn to become my own friend instead of a dictator! I often have a hard time letting go of guilt which I know is a useless emotion. I am working to change that part of myself because I don't want my daughter to emulate such self deprecation.
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
29 Apr 09
Hi paula, Thank you for commenting. Like you, I've had this problem and have really had to work very hard at it. Blessings.