Wish I Didn't say that !!!!

India
April 29, 2009 1:06am CST
"Tongue can become the deadliest weapon of all" I had a friend who I used to talk to a lot and used to share with him a lot of things.....and we had a common friend whom we did not like at all.......so we used to talk about him sometimes.....that guy had so much of ego and attitude and was always rude with people so I had picked up many fights with him many a times.....so in a fit of rage I always used to say a lot of things about that rude guy to this friend of mine.......and one fine day I see that this friend has become so pally with him and i came to know that he used to tell all those things to him which I said.....I just thought to myself that day.....wish I didn't say those things to him.....I really be careful these days when I share somethings with my friend...... Have you come across such situations.....how do you handle it ???? Do you share everything with your closest friend or you keep some secrets to yourself ????
3 people like this
17 responses
• United States
29 Apr 09
Yes that is right you have to mind what your talking about cause you have to give an account... I was alway taught if you don't want people to know what your thinking don't say it. because you can't trust anyone not even yourself... I found that to be very true growing up in grade school. you know back then you thought the whole world was your friend and no one would betray you. HA... that was a lie. as soon as you tell a good friend some juicy news they tell their good friend about the juicy news and before you know it your news is all over town... I learned a valuable lesson keep my thoughts to myself... write them down LOL... but I think that has made me a better person.
2 people like this
• India
30 Apr 09
You are right my friend......I also used to think that everyone is good to you.....but there are certain things which you should keep it to yourself.....or as you say write them down....lolzzz....I wish I had time to do that......thanks for the response buddy !!!!
• Philippines
30 Apr 09
Good day.. It's sad that your friend betrayed your trust. It's really hard to trust people with your secret and specially when that secret involved somebody else. It could turn out ugly. I always adhere to the saying " More talk more mistake, less talk less mistake, no talk no mistake."
1 person likes this
• India
30 Apr 09
More talk more mistake, less talk less mistake, no talk no mistake. I like this line.......well i think it is so true......sometimes your tongue can get you into so much trouble...... Thanks for the advice !!!!
@yuguoli (83)
• China
29 Apr 09
Sorry to hear that. The problem is that you talk too much. Even the closest friend, we cannot tell him/her everything about ourself. It's not trust but a way to protect yourself. So my idea is that we keep some certain secret in mind and never speak to the second person, no matter who he/she is. We should know the seriousness of something if revealed to the second one. If you don't care about this matter, then you speak but remember, sometimes you'll receive something that'll be bad to you as a GIFT and you would have no chance regreting. It's only my thoughts on it, you have your own I guess. Good luck, man.
1 person likes this
• India
29 Apr 09
I guess you are absolutely right.....my problem is I tend to say a lot of things.....I agree with you when you say that, I should keep certain things to myself, which I haven't been doing it so far.......I would certainly keep that in mind.....nice thought !!!!
@MasonL (97)
• Trinidad And Tobago
30 Apr 09
You cannot do any thing about it, words are like dried leaves that the wind took and blew far away and those leaves never return to where they were blown from, so those things that you shared with that friend cannot return to you, you will have to learn from your mistakes and don't let it happen again. You must share all of your secrets with God and let him help you, friends will only fail you they cannot help you like how God will help you.
• Canada
30 Apr 09
We all have our dark secrets... that we can never tell But yes I'm sure everyone has said something that they truely regret in their lifetime.. but once things are said they are said and that person might remember it forever or they might not. When this happens I move on but feel very regretful and sorry but sadly nothing we can do about it.
1 person likes this
@orderfox (231)
• China
30 Apr 09
I think that friends should be frank,otherwise the relationship is temporary. Can not be maintained.
1 person likes this
@pickoy (734)
• Philippines
30 Apr 09
I've also learned this kind of lesson a long time ago and now I choose to keep the most annoying experiences to myself than share it to friend you can not trust. Actually, even if you can trust someone that person will probably tell your story to his girlfriend/wife and vice versa. The thing is, even if you don't mean any harm once the information is transferred it loses its consistency specially if by word of mouth. So, its better i guess that if we don't have anything good to say just don't say it, if a person does not welcome a criticism might as well treat him like someone who doesn't want to learn and nothing you say will even matter to him so why waste energy? Let him be. Of course situation is different when you need to assert yourself, there's nothing wrong about being angry and saying what you need to say as long as you can stand for what you're saying and stay responsible for all the words that come out. We can stay polite but if we remain submissive you'll find people who'll probably abuse you for being kind. No matter what you do, even if you don't do anything, people will always have something to say.
@111flylcx (267)
• China
30 Apr 09
I think while meeting the friend that can believe,I will talk to him or her something that I cannot talk to general friend.I often do this.Of course,what you mentioned I have ever confronted.Then I was so angry that I told myself not to say one word to the friend.hehe ,afterwards,someone tell me that It is a bad habit talking about others when he is absent.Now I seldly talking something about a man but about something else
1 person likes this
@nanayangel (7839)
• Philippines
29 Apr 09
Hi there John! That's a tough situation you're into. There are times when we have to be very careful in judging or deciding whether our friends are trustworthy and loyal or not. I think that the best thing to do is to try to always look at the lighter side of things or persons and try not to speak negatively about other persons to avoid things like this from happening. I am guilty of saying things behind other people's back but not my friends.
@abanerji (1026)
• India
29 Apr 09
well, it is very difficult to understand and trust people. sometimes our true friends cheat us. we can' really help it, so it is always better not to discuss everything with friends unless you are absolutely sure of your friends. one of my very close friend said so much behind me that she was able to spoil my relation with another very good friend. it is best to keep certain feelings wiithin yourself.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Apr 09
Well sad to hear that, but there was something you learned about the situation right? We should never be gossiping other people. Gossiping is different from asking for an advice. If you asked an advice and told that friend about his opinion, that would have been better, but to tell something negatively on a person will only allow other people to gossip about it. Indeed there are people whom we cannot trust and there are really back stabbers among friends. But this situation has taught you that gossip will never do something good about a person and you can prove that right. About handling it, then just don't pretend, what is good is to give your peace to your enemy who was still your friend. Love you enemy as yourself, easy to say but hard to do but that's what Christ told us what we should do.
• India
30 Apr 09
Oh yes i did learn a lesson here.....and i feel that you are right when you say i should have asked for an opinion if only i had done that i think i would have been in a better position today to face them......thanks a lot for the advice....
@ktosea (2027)
• China
29 Apr 09
tough situation huh? since he is your closest friend,I think he should not share the things you talked to him with the other friend,you said the closest friend,we could call him A,and your common friend,let's call him B,A dilke B either then why he tell B what you said about B?unless they are as close as you and A or I think your frind A is not faithful,you might lose a friend this time. now so that you dislike B,just forget about the whole thing,you needn't to opologize because that will be useless.forget it and move on
• India
29 Apr 09
You are right......i have already moved on....but still cant imagine that people can be such big backstabbers......that too specially when you trust that person soo much......
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
30 Apr 09
We learn from our own mistakes. This gives you a lesson next time not to trust even a friend, when sometimes saying negative to others. Though we can't avoid commenting and trusting another friend but really teaches us a lesson as well to know more each of our friends.
@sanuanu (11238)
• India
30 Apr 09
Unless and until the friend is with you for a very long time, I would hesitate to share my personal matters with him my friend. Indeed, I have also learnt the lesson the hard way and found out that one of my friend use to tell my enemy each and every thing, it hurt me badly and I lost a chance of being promoted!
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
29 Apr 09
yes I have. this is one of the reasons why I don't trust people so much anymore until I find a reason to do so. At the time I let it go and ignore them completely. I didn't have many friends to begin with, so being on my own again didn't hurt at all. I found other things to amuse me and kept me busy. But to anyone else who asked me what happened, I told them the truth. Whoever it was the so-called friends, they can deny everything. But people will think twice before telling them any secrets or trust them that much, because what happened to me, can happen to anybody, including the so-called friends themselves. Life is the best teacher. Pack up your bags and move on to the future. It's hard to understand why things happen and why people do things, so don't ponder too long about it, it's a waste of time. There are billions of people on earth, there must be one or two you will meet and worth your trust. I believe this and yes I have met those I can trust, only 3 people, but they're worth it. You don't have to forgive either, I never do forgive them. I did forget though, because I found real friends and spend my time for them.
@katb28 (225)
29 Apr 09
hi there the only person i tend to talk to about other people is my partner because i know he wont say anything and it gives me that place to vent when other people anoy me that way i dont hurt anyones feeling because when we are frustrated with someone half of what we say about them is hugly exagerated or we dont realy mean it or else we would say it to the person themselves so i think its good to have someone you realy trust that you can have a good old rant at.
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
29 Apr 09
that's the reason why i never trust anybody... not even my best friend nor my hubby because i know that they can betray me some day... so i prefer to keep everything to myself... a secret is not a secret anymore once you tell it to even one person... it is hard to trust anybody in nowadays world except God... He is the only One that i can trust whole-heartedly... take care and have a nice day...