Would you mind if your boyfriend or girlfriend kept pictures of there ex?

@apples99 (6564)
United States
April 30, 2009 5:18pm CST
I think that if your in a relationship and your happy and content, you should let the past be the past and get rid of old photos of the ex, I mean why would you want to keep pictures of an ex? unless maybe you have some unresolved feelings for your ex, and honestly if the guy I was dating still had pics of his ex in his wallet or laying around the house or apt, I would definitely feel uncomfortable about it, like I said if a person is completely happy with there current relationship they should let go of the past and move forward and dont look back. But how about you would you mind if your boyfriend or girlfriend kept pictures and other memento's of there ex love??
9 people like this
33 responses
@cicisnana (776)
• United States
30 Apr 09
Well, I definitely wouldn't want the pictures displayed around the house or apt or in his wallet, but I wouldn't care if a current boyfriend has his ex's pictures in a photo album or photo box or something. After all it is HIS past life too. It may not be so much remembering HER as remembering times.
1 person likes this
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
1 May 09
I agree with you entirely.
• Malaysia
1 May 09
I agree with this but I would minimixe it to one picture and I will make sure he doesnt take a look at the album frequently. If he wants to look at his ex at all time why wanna look for another person in life. Better to live with the photo. Thanusha
• China
2 May 09
I agree with you.but if he always look at the pictures I will definitely mind.I can't stand this.I will think he is not love me.
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
2 May 09
Why bother about him/her keeping pictures of their ex? What about the memory in his brain? Can you have them removed? Even if it was an ex, they have been friends before and it would be allright to have their pictures - as long as the picture is not in his/her wallet...
1 person likes this
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
4 May 09
Yes theres nothing we can do about someones memory of an ex, but at the same time it seems kind of wrong for someone to have pictures of past loves around, but if the mementos were placed some were away like in an old box in the attic and if they were rarely ever viewed, I guess it wouldn't bother me that much as long as they were out of site, and it was clear that he no longer had feelings for the person in the picture, but like you said I defintly would not like it if the picture was in is wallet. thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
8 May 09
Could you please not post your blog in my topics this must be the reason why they deducted my earnings today if you wanted me to check out your blog you could have just PM me dont post it here today I lost a of earnings.
2 people like this
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
9 May 09
Hi Apples, I was surprised by your comment until I view the discussion. May I suggest you PM ficar directly as I think he will not get your message by you posting here. I get the message instead. Alternatively, I think he will get your message if you reply directly to his response #36 or #37.
1 person likes this
@oyenkai (4398)
• Philippines
4 May 09
Of course it would be insulting to find my boyfriend with a picture of his ex girlfriend or ex love or whatever in his wallet or lying around his room. Guys should be more sensitive about it, especially since it's a common knowledge that girls are insecure about that certain issue. It's so easy to be misinterpreted that the easiest way to avoid any misinterpretations is to avoid the problem :) They should just get rid of the pictures, right? What do they need or want them for?
1 person likes this
@oyenkai (4398)
• Philippines
4 May 09
Thanks for the response on my discussion! That was a cool topic :)
1 person likes this
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
4 May 09
Oh your more then welcome your topic was fun too, and I aprecate your responds to my topic you make a pretty good point there.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
8 May 09
I am not that open minded when it comes to ex. If my husband keeps the picture of his ex inside his purse, there must be something wrong. Nobody should keep the picture of his ex inside the purse, it tells a weird story to the wife. Suspicion would arise, as if the husband is still having an affair with his ex. I would not encourage him to keep so many pictures even though it is inside the picture album. I would allow the most 2 pictures of his ex. If there is too many, it tells a different story to me. I would think he is still in love with his ex and not with me. I keep my own ex pictures too, but each ex I only have 1-2 pictures inside the family photo album. That's all. I don't keep any other pictures in hidden places. That's why I expect my husband to do the same.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (36286)
• United States
4 May 09
When I was a teenager I kept all the pictures of my exes especially if I was in the picture with them. I thought that since they were a part of my past that I would want to show my children someday so I kept the pictures until I met the man I am married to. He was uncomfortable with me having the pictures if I was over them and didn't care about them any more. I didn't have feelings for them anymore but I have a hard time throwing out things like that. I kept them for awhile until I realized how I would feel if he kept pictures of his exes hehe then I threw out the pictures of my exes as well. Some I cut myself out of like pictures of my at the semi-formal and things like that, that I wanted to at least have pictures of how I looked that night even if I didnt want the pictures of the ex.
1 person likes this
@otobits (97)
• Philippines
3 May 09
i don't think it is good idea to let him or her keep the picture. unless he is a close friend of yours too and pass away.
1 person likes this
@csrobins (1125)
• United States
3 May 09
I still have pictues of my exes haha. But I have no feelings toward them at all. It's just memories. We didn't end badly and I still could talk to them like anormal human being tha tnever dated them if we were to meet now. But it would be hard to let my bf have them although he might i don't know. I try to be trusting of that. I let him hang out with one of his exes every year oncde a year when she comes back for christmas She's at college right now) she is dating someone else too and he's apparently coll with it too unless she's lying about it. But my bf is very respectful of my feelings and asks me and of course I say yes because I wold expect him to do teh same for me, which he has reluctantly before. I think if I can't trust my bf with any girl, then clearly we aren't far enough in our relationship for me to get too hurt if he cheats on me. I also know he can't lie to save his life and is the most painfully honest person taht exists and I would know the second it happened if he cheated on me.
1 person likes this
@kimutaku (145)
• China
1 May 09
Well, I definitely feel uncomfortable if bf keeps ex's pics.that's dishonest cause if he is missing his past, he shouldn't start dating with a new one,it's a waste of time for each other.but sometimes, someone keep their pasts in heart,not in pics,that's worse. Maybe it's the reason people wanna be in love with a person with less past memories.cause when you are in love with someone ,you have to face and share the past...
1 person likes this
@magrylouyu (1632)
• United States
30 Apr 09
My husband used to have all these pictures laying around of one of his ex's and he never even really cared that much about her. Well anyways, I noticed them and he didnt even care I told him I was going to burn them and we did it together. It was awsome. It is bothersome to say the least. She was one only one I found pictures laying around of, we have moved so many times I doubt he has any left at all now. :)
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
30 Apr 09
I wouldn't want that happens but then again if my spouse is loyal to me I probably can let him keep a photo
1 person likes this
@tosha33 (265)
• United States
1 May 09
An ex is just that an ex. Maybe he/she holds on to the photos for reasons, like to remember the good times they had or just because pics are worth a million words, I know that my old mas photos of some of the Xs in his life and i don't mind because i know where his heart is.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
2 May 09
Well your right, in most instances if a person keeps pictures of in ex its usually just a meaningless memento of the past, but in other instance's its not meaningless, becuse sometimes you just never know.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
1 May 09
I don't have a problem with a picture or two. Momentos..well..I wouldn't like that very much. If he were constantly looking at them,I might not like it but they are packed away in a box with the rest of his past. I don't think it's a big deal..but they aren't going to be hanging on my wall..lol..
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
2 May 09
Yes since you put it in those terms I might be able to tolerate a picture or two if it was put away in a box somewhere or in the attic some place where there rarely viewed, lol but if I were in a relationship with someone who kept pictures and momentos of an ex in his wallet or on a table where I could see it and be reminded of it, lol.
• United States
30 Apr 09
For me I guess its how he uses the pictures. If he is constantly looking at them and thinking about her and what not then I would start to get suspicious that there were unresolved feeling floating around - otherwise why not let him keep them? Pictures are memories of what you use to have, and I know its funny when my grandparents will pull out old pictures and talk about their past relationships before they got back together. You should be able to remember the good and bad of each relationship and not just wipe it clean from your mind - you learn from them.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
2 May 09
Yes your right theres nothing wrong with remembering his or her past relationship as long as its truly over and in the past, and he is not harboring secret feelings or comparing his new relationship to his past one, and sometimes you never know.
@mermaidivy (15417)
• United States
30 Apr 09
I would mind if he kept th pictures of the ex most likely because if that relationship is gone, why would there be anything to keep and memorize unless he still missed them or he thought there were something important that he couldn't forgot, it implied to me one thing - he still loved the ex.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
2 May 09
Yes my thoughts are similar to yours, becuse sometimes you never know what a persons true motives for keeping momentos of an ex, but on the other hand I guess it depends on where and how he or she keeps them too.
@soulist (2987)
• United States
18 May 09
I don't really mind if my boyfriend has pictures of his ex and he doesn't mind it if I have pictures of my ex. We both agree that our exes were a part of our lives. Sure we don't have then out in public where each other could see them and I would bring out the scrapbook I made and show him the pictures.
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
18 May 09
Hello apples99, I don't like to know that my partner still keeping the old photos of his ex. If I found them, I just throw all of them away but of course with his permission. There is no point of keeping the old photos if you are no longer attached to that person. Past is past and like you said, if you are happy with your current life, why need to keep remembering the past?
@idowrite72 (2214)
• United States
14 May 09
It wouldn't bother me at all. I would figure that I have them now, so what do a few pictures or other things have to do with anything? As long as things were going ok with the relationship between us, I would not worry about any pictures. I would like to be secure enough in the feelings we had for each other that I didn't have to worry about what went on in the past and chances are I would know all about it anyway.
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
1 May 09
I have pic of my ex's. I would not like it one bit if someone told me to get rid if my pic. Thats all they are is pic. And i most certianly would keep all of my pic. If i thought the hater was a threat to my property i would lock them up in a safe place. It has nothing to do with unresolved feelings. Its for the memories. Good and bad memories. When i look at my most recent ex's pic it just reminds me not to get involved again. But he was someone that at one past time i had feelings for. Just a memory. Good and bad. Anyway i have all my pics put away in a plastic storage bin. They are not openly displayed for all to see. They are personal property.
@rusty2rusty (6767)
• Defiance, Ohio
1 May 09
To be honest I do not like my husband having pictures of his ex ladies at at all. To me it hurts when or it he would choose to look at them. I mean if he no longer is going out with them. Why keep the pictures? So he can look at them and remember their romps in bed together. No thank you. Those pictures need to go.
@ds6413 (2073)
• United States
1 May 09
Hi again apples99, as long as I won't have to be reminded of his ex I don't care. He can put a photo in a photo album and I won't have to look at HIS photos unless I want to.The last ex-b/f I had carried a photo of his ex in his wallet. It didnt really bother me but I had told him after we split to be sure not to show any one he dated after me his pics of his ex's. He didnt have a pic of me because I never gave him one. My very first b/f had pictures of all of his old g/f in the top drawer of his dresser and I was reminded of it when I visited him at his home.He is the reason I will not allow anyone to take my photo after all these years.I don't want to cause hurt feelings to anyone.Maybe my ex-husbands wife and now ex wife