do you have the same feeling when you don't have any job?
April 30, 2009 10:44pm CST
i quit my job for half a year because there was no body can look after my son.but during the time,i felt so bad about myself.although my husband loves me and he wants me to look after our son personally.but i become a litter sensitive about money. in my opinion, a woman have no respect if she has no job.my husband said that i contributed more and he thanks me a lot.but that could not change my ideas about job. so gloomy. can you have the same feeling when you don't have a job?? what should i do now?
1 May 09
Hi lingzi I am sorry that you are feeling this way. Its important that a woman be self dependent and earn for herself irrespective of the need. It gives us a confidence to settle issues in life. Having said this, since you have to stay at home for your child you must accept it. do you home job perfectly well, which i am sure you do and be a perfect home maker. We must do the job we are meant yo happily and then only we succeed in it. I am sure you will get to join work again after your kid grows a little older.
2 people like this
1 May 09
thank you mimpi, i will get to join work when my son is three years old. maybe i am a excellent housewife in others'eyes.i can cook delicious foods for my family,i always keep my home clean, and i can paly with my son .but i don't think that enough.
22 May 09
I am different from you, a man. I must go to work everyday else we have no money to pay for house, for another house, for others house, for car, for expensive spending. And to my wife, she can feel a little easy to work since the life will not changed so much if she doesn't work. I take on big press and work every day. Do my primary work at work time, but also must do my parttime work evening. Sometimes, I feel a little tired but she doesn't understand. I also want her to work, so we can achieve our dream earlier - have own company.
2 May 09
Yes, its a normal feeling, but you'll get over it coz you're starting to voice it out now. You know there's a problem and you're willing to change it. It all starts from there. I had an open-heart surgery four years ago after graduation, I'm an active individual with above average school credentials and its hard for me to accept not being able to work. I was really irritated for a year, coz I'm so anxious to matter, but with the loving support of my family and husband I did get over it, and those nasty feelings have vanished. I tried to concentrate on things that I can do at home, things that can make me productive and useful. When you start to find activities like that your attitude will start to change and more opportunities will knock and once they come always welcome them. Don't hesitate or have second thoughts. I used to get annoyed with my friends whenever they say be patient, it will come, so I won't be asking you to be patient, coz at that time I was desperate to jump start my life and I have no room to stay patient when I have already waited too long, lol. But I'm glad they understood what I'm going through, lol, so now, I'm all right. This too will pass, don't worry, you're feeling normal. But look for ways that can help you divert your attention to more productive things so you won't hate yourself as much.
• United States
1 May 09
Oh my gosh, I am not the only one. I feel the same way you do. I feel as if my life is wasting away and I'm stuck in a small cage and can't breath. I feel like I need to do something for myself and my life. I love my son and would do anything for him but he's growing up and doesn't really need me anymore. I'm here all alone at home wasting away. My husband says that I am doing fine at home. I keep the house clean, clothes washed, feed our son, get him ready for school, pick him up, take him to all his music lessons, help with homework, etc. but I still feel very empty. Even though my son is in school full time (he's 11 years old), my husband feels that I should stay home in case my son needs me. But my son never needs me unless he forgets his homework! So I am looking for a work at home job to keep busy. I also plan on joining a book club and I'm going to get out more often. So maybe you can do the same. There are a lot of companies that hired stay at home moms. I have applied to at least 5-10 this week alone. I hope I hear from one of them!
• United States
1 May 09
Hi, I quit my job after working there for 8 years. Because my husband wanted to sell our house and everything else to move out of state. After a whole lot of arguing over this, because I did not want to move, and leave everything behind. I did it. I quit my job, I have never felt so guilty and lonely. I knew that I was always making a large contribution to our household, I felt like I was a person, having my own cash whenever I needed something, I have always helped in paying bills. And then suddenly, I didn't have that assurance any longer. But, my husband wanted me to work with him, so that we could be together all the time. He was tired of me bringing my work stress home with me. It's been almost two years now. I still miss my job. Along with my home and my friends. I do love being home with my husband and us doing things together, but I still have that empty feeling, like I'm not helping out financially.
1 May 09
I feel men are equal to women. I prefer women to work to get their thing at least with their earning instead of depending on others. Some times it may hard to them to get on all those activities with children. The better option by doing home jobs and doing some online stuff if possible. If you have real abilities to handle things, you can do any thing from home. so what ever it may be plan it and execute it.
1 May 09
lingzi, First of all, you need to realize that your child is now more important than anything else. I am sure you are aware of the importance of having a good beginning for your child's foundation. So, do take comfort that this choice is a nobler choice than anything. Even if it is a good and rewarding job. Secondly, I hope that you are aware that you are still young, that there is still time and abundant opportunities for you to go back to work after your son has someone else to care for and more independent himself. Youth is ever on your side and there is no need to hasten your decision to get a job. Take care and have a nice day.