Love affairs beyond marriage

China
May 6, 2009 9:22pm CST
Perhaps it is quite uniques to the ancient and splendid Chinese culture that a married man develops love affairs outside his family while still preserving the wife at home as his life spouse.In this way,he can keep at least two women in life,with the only one having the honored"title"as the Wife,or Red Flag always upheld in life,and all as embroideries,or Colored Flags placed outside family wacing and catching the wind just for fun.Women can seemingly choose to act the roles they see as fit and prefered.This may defy the understanding of many Westerners who believer marriage must be based on lvoe and care,otherwise,it must be ended up in divorce before a new life unfolds.
3 responses
• Philippines
7 May 09
Im not favor of that for me you need to love only one person because when you love two person that's not love because you will hurt your wife if she found out your affair with the other woman. Why i know, its simply because tha's what i feel i found out that my husband had an affair eventhough i forgive him the pain still remain and it hurts me everyday though it happens two years ago
• China
7 May 09
Love always only means owning
@katb28 (225)
9 May 09
real love is not about ownership, it has taken me a long time to realize this i have always been frightend of marrage and everything it entails because my view of men was warped at a very young age but real love is very different, i love my partner dearly but that is not because of a need to own him or anything else t is about wanting him around loveing him, his company etc, if you viw love as ownership i think you have a seriouse problem with your mind set that you need to evaluate, i know if anyone ever tried to own me i say tried because it would never happen but if they did you can be sure the relationship would last about 5 mins i simply wouldnt put up with it
@iskayz (5426)
• Philippines
7 May 09
Hi there! From what I know the Muslim community also has the same culture. Men Muslim can marry as many women as they want as long as they can support each one of them. But some Muslims have stopped practicing this culture. The world has many different cultures and some are hard to understand. And sometimes culture is affected by religion too. Like in Christianity, relationship outside marriage is an elicit affair and considered a sin. Ciao!
• China
7 May 09
Thanks for your response. there is the reasonable.
• Ireland
8 May 09
We are all defined by the culture we grew up in and so I can accept that in some cultures this arrangement is perfectly normal. It is what it is. Personally I could not and would not want to share my partner with anyone. In some ways it's a very honest way of doing things...no sneaking around behind someone's back, no jealousy, ( well..?), no lies. I mean, its fairly common for people these days to have affairs, which often leaves relationships in ruins. At least with this ' arrangement' there are rules, and everyone involved knows their status. There are many kinds of love, and I think it is possible to love more than one person.