Do you feel that the word 'Friendship' is too loosely used nowadays?

Friendship is a bliss! - Friendship is beautiful.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
India
May 11, 2009 1:08am CST
I have found people playing with the term' friends' quite outrageously these days and as a result its much profaned. The integrity has been lost to quite an extent. We tend to confuse between friends and acquaintances. What do you feel?
19 people like this
50 responses
@Sreekala (18782)
• India
11 May 09
Hi Mimpi, In the present world everybody is busy with their own life and no time for keeping good relations especially a true friendship. I believe this statement very much “A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes”. I took almost three years to come out of some hurt feelings and the reason was one of my close friend. It was shocking to realize that my close friend is really jealous on me and she hides her progress by expecting the same feelings from me. I don’t know how she can think like that. Later in my friend’s circle many asked me about her and complained about her, as they know that I am close to her, but unfortunately I don’t have an answer for them, why she changed or how she changed. But definitely I understand her real character and presently I am completely out of the trauma.
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
11 May 09
I can relate a lot to what you HAev written Sree, and I know how it is.The hurt would never leave us.If only, you had seen through it earlier, you would have changed your behaviour with her,and you would have had less hurt.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (18782)
• India
11 May 09
Hi Kala, Thank you very much for your nice words. I think now I changed my attiiude with her, but surely I took so many years for changing myself.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
11 May 09
This is sad. Nothing hurts more. But that's how it is! We face many things tat we are not supposed to. The end result we are much more wise. Friendship is beautiful, beyond anything. How could people de moralise it!
@CJay77 (4441)
• Australia
11 May 09
I agree with you, mimpz, and I'm too confused between friends and acquaintances, I sometimes would refer someone a friend even though I hardly know the person and maybe because I feel more comfortable to refer them as friend! I think you know already that me and Husband don't have much friends at the moment, but I believed that I have some that I can count on and I am always grateful for that.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
11 May 09
So nice of you to say that. Its true that we do not want to hurt anyone and tell them friends when we know that they are not. You are such a sweet person. Even I have done that in order not to hurt anyone's feelings.
@riyasam (16582)
• India
11 May 09
yes,previously it used to take many years for the friendship to develop but the friendship bond that was formed was very strong..nowadays ,one can see a lot of fair weather friends,both the parties look out only for their gain,i dont think they should be labelled as friends,freindship is for life time!!
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
11 May 09
Absolutely Mabel! Friendship is for life time and we better not make it profane by manipulating each other. I would like to tell someone my friend even when he is curt, blatant, rude but do not play double standards or pose. Friends are precious and we must nourish friendship and respect it.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
11 May 09
i do agree mimpi,it does take some amount of effort from our side,also it requires patience,nothing great can be achievied within a short span of time!
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
11 May 09
Times gives us the opportunity to know the real friends. Longer it is better you perceive. But certain things in a person can tells you instantly that he/she is the one! May be the positive vibes.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (54032)
• Delhi, India
11 May 09
Hi! Mimpi! I for one do make a distinction between acquaintances and friends and do not count acquaintances in my 'friends'. I firmly believe that all acquaintances could not be friends. Friends for me always come at a very high pedestal/platform than acquaintances and I give due respect and regards to my dear friends. If a person is not my friend and he/she is just mere acquaintance and I have to refer about him/her, I do not say that he/she is my friend. I just tell the third person that he/she is known to me and I am not very close to him/her. I am very private person and I have very limited number of friends, though many could be counted as acquaintances. Good Post!
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
11 May 09
Very true Deepak! I too say, I know her/him but I am not close , I don't know her/him personally.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (54032)
• Delhi, India
11 May 09
Kala I endorse your views. I've seen some people bragging about knowing anybody and everybody in this world, they just want to impress gullible persons.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
11 May 09
I think you made a valid point there. Only recently, someone told me that he is a close friend to my boss, who is reputed in the city. later my boss told me that he had met that person only once and that too in a wedding party!! I was surprised how people just drop names and brag about things that are not at all true! For some this is the reason for using the term loosely. I appreciate the fact that you know the difference and even I tend to do that. My case it little different when it comes to situations like the person i have just mentioned. I am closely related to some well known people here and guess what it feels so weird and embarrassing to drop names! later when people find out they feel sorry because they didn't give me undue advantage. How to make the, understand that for that reason alone I didn't name any!
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
11 May 09
Hi Mimpi, This is a wonderful topic.And I should admit that this is loosely used by many in today's world.To me, it does make a difference and it may sound very childish but I also have the term 'best friend' for only one of my friends.I term them according to the degrees of friendship as 'good friend,very good friend, a fairly close friend,a neighbour, a person who lives in my compound etc .., ' I cannot say with full conviction that a person is my friend if someone refers to a person whom I am not too comfortable with.I will just say'Yeah;he is alright' but I would stop at that. This really happened in my case where some other nosey parker enquired 'how is Mr.A'and I replied he was fine because I may not be too friendly with him but he has not harmed me personally.However, I have become quite practical these days and do not take too much cognizance of something mentioned by another person that A was her friend etc.. sometimes they wouldhave been unsure of how to phrase itThey can be clubmembers[there ar e so many interactive clubs and all are termed friends].We come across so many people in the world , why even on the internet, say in mylot, I have some special categorisations within my mind, but I would call them all friends.But not all those who are on my 'Friend' list are my close friends.They are friends to share discussions but not details.[if you see what I mean] But when I am asked, I say'Yeah! I know him/her instead of warmly using the term 'friend' . I cannot give this term to everyone. Have I wandered? As far as many are concerned mimpi, one thing that my experience has taught me is that many people in this world look at many things with a fairly easy outlook and do not worry about the real depth of a word or the proper definition . They just say what they think , what they please and do not place too much of significance on anything. THat is a kind of social chit chat and soemmehow, I normally get put off by too much of social meaningless chitchat within family or even very close circles.[it happens you know and we get very hurt because we take so many things too seriously and to heart].It is not moralising but , the artificiality hits me and I find it difficult to relate or interact too closely when I FEEL THIS[even among close relatives].Now I am coming to terms with it but whether I would be able to make the same meaningless chatter or what is something only tiem can tell.I may not. So, the confusion must not be in our perception of what other people say--we should be able to take it all with a pinch of salt.This is what I have learnt .I have clear defintions but I do not expect the same thing from others these days. My interactions have taught me this and when I talk to some people who say things like this[I have a memory that luckily I would remeber occasionally something that would put me on the alert ] I do not pass judgements but take it as what it may or may not mean, becasue it takes all sorts of people to make this world.The possibilities spring immediately within mind, unlike a few years ago,, when I would take everything'verbatim'.[Still i seem to fall prey to this habit and my husband constantly tells me that I would believe everything and repeat it like a parrot without using my brains ].But now I am certainly getting better.
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
11 May 09
But I should say that one must be lucky with regard to friends and people.And I thank God that I have some really wonderful friends, and am lucky to meet only good people in this world.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
11 May 09
I know what you mean. There are several factors to contribute to the metamorphosis of various terms like 'Friendship', 'Love"... If we look into this site we would find that the people we follow get registered as 'Friends' which in many cases downgrades the term. These kind of networking sites have a lot to contribute to this. This has its inadvertent effect on real life aswell. I know people who would call someone friend but would dissect him in front of an apparent outsider like a butcher! Now that's sad.
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
11 May 09
That is really a sad thing be it the net or real world.Unfortunately, some people are just totally insensitive and in the name of being a friend they would do this.Thankfully I have not come across people in real world like this.And even over the net, when we pick and choose carefully , may be there would be less scope of getting disillusioned.I just rely on God to give me the same luck that He has given me in real world regarding friends.
• United States
13 May 09
I think people should strive to friendly with just about every acquaintance. My mother used to talk lots about loving some relative with unconditional love. While I did not argue with her, I believe quality relationships become friendships because of being trustworthy, reliable, and having at least some common interest. When I took psychology ages ago, we were taught that if a person had five to seven life-long friendships they would be very well adjusts and that not many people are.
• United States
13 May 09
Oops. I wrote: very well adjusts and meant:very well adjusted
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
13 May 09
That's indeed good to hear and you have put it across very well. It requires ages to build a good relationship and trust, integrity and bond are the basis. Thanks so much.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
16 May 09
Your relationships with those 6 over such a big time span goes to show your commitment and integrity. I really appreciate that. I know you are a good human and try to do your duty utmost. No wonder people love you. Be fine.
@drannhh (15002)
• United States
11 May 09
Obfuscation in language is one of my pet peeves, so I side with you on this one, but in defense of those who err on the side of convenience I do admit that the pace of life has sped up in modern times to the point where many people simply do not have time to think things through and say what they mean or what they should mean. It is sad but true. So now we have many different levels of friendship, my friend (lol!)
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
12 May 09
O know. With so many diversions and additions in our social lives we see a metamorphoses of various terms. Networking sites and internet as a whole have a lot to do with it. PS: I loved your article in AC.
• Trinidad And Tobago
13 May 09
I have to agree on what you say about.. "the pace of life ...where people simply do not have time to think things through and say what they mean or what they should mean" Thanks for this comment. By the way this is a very interesting discussion.
1 person likes this
@drannhh (15002)
• United States
13 May 09
Yes, Sharon, I have to be more tolerant because as time goes by (more quicky!) I even find myself doing these things. Thank you, Mimpi! Hubby has not been well and needs much attention so I have not been able to get by and look at the flurry of new ones you wrote!
@gloamglozer (1285)
• Australia
13 May 09
I feel the same way too. Often people will refer to someone as their friend yet they are only people that they go to work with or just see around every now and then. And the term friends is overly used when people talk about their friends that they have. On the other hand though, since people online can also be your friends too if you get along with them well and it may be even a closer relationship than a friend you have in real life but you may not consider them your friend since you don't hang out with them.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
13 May 09
Online generation has a lot to do with this changing interpretation. WE change, we grow and may be a few years later TRUE friendship would have another term!
• Australia
14 May 09
Indeed, even on online social networks they always put it as "add as friend". Not many people on your list would truly be your friend.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
16 May 09
• United States
12 May 09
I think friendship has evolved to something different from what it has been known as for years. Friendship is as deep as you want it to be. Of course you wouldn't say your friendship is as deep with someone you just met as you would with someone you have known your entire life. At the same time there were some remarkable people that I have met along the road of life that i would definitely classify as friends.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
13 May 09
Couldn't agree more with you. Friendship develops over the years and we get know the warmth and integrity with time. It feels sad when its been used frivolously.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
14 May 09
That's true. I can connect to one of my friends who I do not meet anymore but every time we talk I could feel the same vibe!
• Lebanon
12 May 09
Yes sure it is. People these days consider anyone that they know " friends ". Thus, the word friends has truly lost its weight. Best Friends however have become the friends of the present. Thus, Best Friends now are like what regular friends were in the past.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
12 May 09
You are absolutely right! Best friends have lost their value in sense of the term as well.
• Lebanon
12 May 09
Best Friends = Normal friends. The special bond best friends had no longer exists. That's basically it.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
13 May 09
@babyfuzz (1079)
• Philippines
11 May 09
Hi, mimpi! yep, I also feel the same. I mean, I am a very emotional and sensitive person, and when you tell me that you're my friend, I seriously take that. It's so hard for me to recover after being "betrayed" by a "friend"... Anyway, now I use the word friend to describe a person whom I feel so close with, like a Mylot friend. If I say that you're my friend, I really mean it, and I hope that that person feels the same and me considers me as a close person to him/her too.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
12 May 09
You are a very sweet person and i wish you have good friends all through your life. friendship is a bliss and friends are life.
@babyfuzz (1079)
• Philippines
12 May 09
thanks, Mimpi. I hope my sweetness will drive more real friends to me. Although I'm a sweet person, there are still bad traits in me that "friends" don't like. I guess that's what drove them away. ^^
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
12 May 09
Not really dear. That could be the reason they are attracted towards you! you uninhibited self, your free will and the way to carry yourselves - all could be moivating to your friends.
@bjcyrix (6857)
• Philippines
11 May 09
I do so agree with you. Friendship has become the generalized term for all kinds of platonic relationships. Thus, there are varying degrees and increasing number of levels of 'friendship'. There are those classmates, acquaintances, friends of friends, real friends, close friends, closest friends, best friends, and other levels of friendship that are actually too many to count. Sometimes, even those strangers who one has talked to for a few minutes and who might still not know your name has already been called and considered as 'friend'. I guess it would be just up to us on how often we use that term. Though I think it would be awkward if we regard them as just acquaintances but they already considered us to be their 'friend', dont you think?
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
11 May 09
I would appreciate anyone considering me friend in the true sense of the term. He/she would become my friend thus. But I do not think, I would consider anyone and everyone friend if he/she just thinks I am a friend to them and not quite living up to it. Friendship us beautiful and under no condition I would like to manipulate and play with it.
1 person likes this
@bjcyrix (6857)
• Philippines
12 May 09
Yeah, you've just nicely articulated what I feel about this mimpi.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
12 May 09
Thanks dear.
@alokn99 (5718)
• India
11 May 09
Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons to promote the good and happiness of one another. Eustace Budgell Mimpi I found this quote to be quite apt. A friend to me is one who I can relate to, listen to and speak to. A person who I’m comfortable with, and one who I can share my happiness and sorrows with. At the same I should be unhesitatingly willing to be there for the person whenever required, expect nothing in return, understanding, trust and honesty. Till then they remain an acquaintance.This happens only over a period of time and after I have got to know and understand the other person well. You are right about the term being loosely used nowadays. Maybe it’s a social thing. Trying to prove that they are popular people and are well known. Maybe it’s also that they do it deliberately at times to with ulterior motives in mind. Then I think the internet and social networking sites too have a lot to do with it. We add people as friends into our network by pressing a button. But in reality the friendship will start to blossom over a period of time after interaction and sharing.
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
11 May 09
Alok! That was a wonderful response.Real friendship blossoms after sharing, though occasionally, we do get the feeling of bonding very quickly in select cases.THat is when we have a similar wavelength, and some unknown chord is struck between people who are able to relate easily .
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
12 May 09
Well stated and I totally agree with you Alok.
• India
11 May 09
yes i agree in every point of yours since i too have scened this, i have only one or two friends and they are really good friends.well for other people whom i know i would just like to call them the people i know, because they are just like that, and they deserve that name. they are not my friends at all because they don't understand my feelings and they are just greedy people.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
11 May 09
I agree Kapil. We confuse between 'friends' and acquaintances' and this causes us trouble and heart breaks.
@ra1787 (501)
• Italy
12 May 09
o completely agree with you. The word friend is often abused by some people. I too call friend few people, the other are just acquaintances.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
16 May 09
Thanks.
• Philippines
14 May 09
This sounds showbiz. What make friends a real friends are tested by time, those who are always there for you no matter what. I think a relationship with a friend is a bit deeper than the person you've just acquainted with. It sounds cliche when people talking with the term friends (e.g.,"we're just friends"). We can have many friends and acquaintances, but the essence of being a friend is genuine.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
14 May 09
Very well stated! Yes the essence of true friendship is precious. thanks.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
21 May 09
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
11 May 09
I couldn't agree more actually. Take the concept of adding a "friend" here on mylot for example. Are all the people on your list really a friend in the truest sense of the word? In many instances they're not even acquintances! We've all become quite blase about it if you ask me. What I would like to know though, is that if we are calling pretty much anyone our friend these days, what are we supposed to refer to our true and close friends as now? You watch, it won't be long before "soul mate" starts getting bandied around and loses it's meaning also.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
12 May 09
Networking like have a lot to do with this. The young people today do not know when and how to use these terms in real life. As a result some terms are getting diluted. Even though its individual perception and we should not be judgmental but I for one try not to fall in the category.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
12 May 09
Congrats for top rated discusion for today mimpi!
@balasri (26577)
• India
11 May 09
I can understand what you are implying Mimpi.But are't many terms are misused and molested here.Sorry, important,urgent,I love you are few to name.Do the people who say these terms really mean it here.I can say a big 'No' to that.There is no conviction in anything they say or do.Words are very very precious and not just pieces of sound. They deserve the full meaning when they are uttered.It is never so in reality. Likewise friendship is a word which means something special.Not everyone you know cannot be your friend.It needs some personal and one of a kind relationship like the bondage between the husband and wife.And I too feel that the word friend cannot be used so loosely. A good discussion as always Mimpi.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
12 May 09
you got me all right Bala. And I absolutely agree with you. Love you is another expression used at battling of eye lids without meaning it and so are sorry, thanks you...I think we have lost our values to great extent and resorting to stuffs that are not desirable. Thanks.
@balasri (26577)
• India
12 May 09
Stuff that are not desirable.Yes. One can never get enough of what he never needs.
• United States
17 May 09
I do agree that people may use the term Friend much more often in terms of knowing someone vs being just an aquaintance with someone... I dont think that I do... I dont work in an office anymore so the people I hang out with is my family, and I talk alot with my neighbors but I wouldnt call them friends... I have a few friends that I do talk to online, and I actually feel there friendship is closer to me than some of the ones I have in person, as we are able to discuss things that I cant discuss with my friends/family in real life....LOL but that is good to have both. happy mylotting.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
19 May 09
I can relate to that. I have made some wonderful friends online with whom I share a beautiful bond. I can talk my heart out and they have been there through thick and thin. That's the beauty of friendship.
@enruschew (249)
• Malaysia
14 May 09
ya ya ya,I found this problem too!what is friend and who's gonna be our friends?isn't somebody that we are not close to is also consider friends?or someone that we meet in a party and do not have any conversation is also called friends? and what about we only knew their names?they are also called friends or they're just an acquaintances?
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
14 May 09
You are right and I agree totally with your views.
@jeffrynov (130)
• Indonesia
14 May 09
No I think friendship word mean all for one and one for all and nothing gona change that otherwise it cancel it mean by betraying one to another and reverse it to where the connection was beggin
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
14 May 09
That's great!