Familiarity Breeds Contempt

@wolfie34 (26793)
United Kingdom
May 12, 2009 10:27am CST
How many times have you heard this saying? Can you relate to it? I certainly can, I have come to believe this for a long time now, and for me it is so true and recently having got 'familiar' with someone that I shouldn't have done I now feel uncomfortable and yes I do feel contempt towards them and towards myself, and if I could turn back the clock, but at least I know that the saying is true and I should respect it and listen to it more in the future. Next time I see someone that could make things awkward for me I am going to say NO! and bring to light what happened many times before! This saying is so true that I have made it one of my life's mantras to keep saying this to myself so that I don't get involved with people I shouldn't What do you think of familiarity breeds contempt do you wholeheartedly agree with me on this statement or do you think it's a negative response? Have you had any experiences where this saying has reared up in something you have done in the past or got familiar with someone you shouldn't have done? Do you live by this saying or do you think it's a good way to keep yourself safe and protected from the wrong sort?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
15 May 09
I've always thought that this adage..."familiarity breeds contempt" is the exact opposite of "absence makes the heart grow fonder". So in this context, familiarity is being in a relationship. In this case the longer you spend with someone, the more you get to know them the more familiar you are with their habits and ways the more intolerant you become and the more contempt you have for them...mainly because the person is thoughtless and selfish.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
15 May 09
Isn't that like the seven year itch? Oh and I always thought it's absence that makes the heart wonder call it the cynic in me ;0)
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@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
15 May 09
You're right about the 7 year itch mate...as for absence makes the heart grow fonder...while the cat's away the mice will play!!
@suzzy3 (8362)
12 May 09
I think it is a chance you take when you make a new friend the trick is not to get to involved to quickly.I did get envolved with someone once and she almost ran my life in the end I broke it off,she was expecting me to pay for things she could not afford my husband went mad,he said he had enough trouble paying for his own family without supporting someone else's after all her husband did not agree with doing overtime as he wanted to spend time with his family.I put an end to the friendship and to be quite honest I am glad and don't miss that so called friend at all.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
12 May 09
That is a good point, softly, softly approach, I think by using your instincts you get the measure of someone not after the first few times but after a length of time, you start trusting them a bit more and start getting closer, by getting too close to someone too soon you risk getting your fingers badly burnt which I think in these instances we both did! Live and learn my friend.
@suzzy3 (8362)
12 May 09
Take care my friend.x
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
13 May 09
Hi wolfie! My dear friend! We all do make those kinds of mistakes at times and then we hate ourselves after the fact! But, for whatever the reasons we did what we did we have to just let it go and get on with our lives! And yes, of course I regret doing things that have been wrong from the get go, and even knowing that I did them anyway! And regretted it so! But, how long can you beat yourself up about it? I know I can beat the crap out of myself for a very long time, but where does it really get me? I have made so many mistakes along the way, but that is just part of life. Sometimes we just have to put ourselves out there to see what will happen and the just let it go and move on! That's what I'm saying to you, my dear friend...
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
14 May 09
That is the crux of the matter isn't it, being happy with ourselves, but if we have low self-esteem that can be very difficult so we need others and some people use other people's low self-esteem for their own gains.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
15 May 09
I can definitely relate to this, compliments bounce off me with no effect, yet criticism and negativity I soak up like a sponge! I need others to build my self-esteem whereas I should be building it myself, one person can knock my self-esteem down with just one cutting remark and it takes forever to build it back up again, it's like building a sandcastle as the tide comes in! I have no defence, criticism cripples me and yet when I have someone complimenting me I shrug it off as meaningless or it's soon forgotten.
@Humbug25 (12551)
12 May 09
Hi ya wolfie34 I do believe this to be true but I can't say that I live each day thinking about it if you know what I mean! I live each thinking, keep well away from men!! LOL
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
12 May 09
Join the club dear friend, Happy Singles Club. Where being single is fun and having an easy, contented life.
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
12 May 09
I'm already a member hun! Hahahaha
• India
13 Jun 09
If familiarity breeds contempt, we wouldn't have had so many close, meaningful relationships in life, would we? Hmm...I am no expert, but I still feel we can't generalize. Familiarity does breed contempt, but not always. It breeds liking too. :) Cheers and happy Mylotting
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
14 Jun 09
That is a good point my friend, thank you!
@guybrush (4661)
• Australia
15 May 09
I think this is a good, sensible motto to live by, Wolfie. I also think it's good to be careful what you wish for ... because you might get it. We often think we want something, only to find the reality of having it is more like hell than heaven. Sometimes, the mystery is the most exciting part - and when we know the secret, it turns out to be smoke and mirrors after all ...
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
15 May 09
That is so damn true my dear friend, when I was younger I was desperate to get a relationship, I had to have a relationship, I craved, wished, you name it, I wasn't anyone until I had a relationship, I was worthless, then I got a relationship and I hated it and I wanted out! And it's like the old christmas present isn't it, beautiful to look at, all wrapped up with ribbons and wonderful wrapping, but when you open it, it's total disappointment that you wished you never opened the present in the first place! Look but don't touch!