Is Flirting while on a committed relationship considered cheating???

Philippines
May 12, 2009 11:26am CST
I recently caught my now ex-boyfriend firting with women online. I met him online as well and we're in a long distance relationship. I have been faithful since the time we got together. I was serious about this relationship and was hoping he could be the ONE. But when I caught him flirting with women, I was furious. I can't find it in my trust him again so I broke up with him... What about you? Do you think that flirting while in a committed relationship is considered cheating???
4 people like this
24 responses
@celticeagle (112838)
• Boise, Idaho
13 May 09
I think for women things like this are very real and say alot about a potential mate. On the other hand, for men it is all in a days work. You need to go with what your gutt tells you. If red flags go up don't continue. It is better you found out now and threw him back rather than get closer and spend more time and then you would REALLY get hurt. And don't let any man encompass all that you have. Save some for you. Be all you can be and give what is left to a guy that respects you and your feelings. Good luck to you!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 09
That is exactly what happened. Well we've been friends for quiet a while before we got together and I knew that he is serious about us. He is still begging for my forgiveness up to this very moment. But I'm already done with him. I always leave something for myself so as not to get hurt too much. Thanks a lot.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112838)
• Boise, Idaho
13 May 09
Good girl!!
@sanuanu (11241)
• India
13 May 09
There should be a limit to it. If your bf is flirting in front of you then it is okay but if he is doing behind your back and it is not a light flirting but a hard one, then no, it can't be forgiven. One must draw a line after a commitment with his/her partner!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 09
Well, I don't think I would be able to forgive him.
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11241)
• India
13 May 09
I love your profile though!
@soulist (2987)
• United States
12 May 09
The fact that you met online and caught him flirting with other women online, then yea I would consider that cheating. You have to take in account of how you met and what lead to you two being together. If I caught my boyfriend cheating it would depend on what it was like. If it was like the way he flirted with me and what lead to us being together.
• Philippines
13 May 09
That sad truth actually hit me to the core. But it's ok, at least now I will not have to bear a miserable life with him. Thanks for sharing soulist. God Bless You!
• Philippines
13 May 09
I coudn't agree more.
@russso (1701)
• Philippines
12 May 09
Absolutely. For me, it shows that the person does not respect me and our relationship. Sure, it may just be flirting, could be harmless at first.. But everything starts from there. It's good that you're not with this guy anymore.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 09
It is for me also. I believe that when you love a person you respect them and you think of their feelings first before doing something. You always consider how your partner would feel when you do this or do that. I am not exactly happy right now but I know I did the right thing. He is still begging for forgiveness but I doubt I will accept him back. I don't trust him anymore. Thanks for dropping by russso.
@russso (1701)
• Philippines
14 May 09
It is easy to forgive, but it is difficult to regain the trust that was lost. It is also tough to forget.
@MasonL (97)
• Trinidad And Tobago
13 May 09
Girl you did the right thing, I don't care what kind of flirting it was, and since he is flirting with other women I think that later on in the relationship things could get worst; Why can't he flirt with you since you are serious with the relationship between you and him so the relationship can get stronger?
• Philippines
13 May 09
Thanks for agreeing with me. Yeah! I'll tell him that. Oops! I forgot we're not together anymore so no use for that. Thanks anyway.
@jtine23 (41)
• United States
12 May 09
i wouldn't say "cheating", i mean really.. we're all human. but if it crosses the line from being innocent flirting to being inappropriate then that is a problem and i would probably have broken up with him too.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 09
I was hurt and I'm not gonna allow him to hurt me again. He's not even aware that what he's doing was wrong. I'm so done with him.
@gracie04 (4556)
• Philippines
12 May 09
Online relationships and long distance relationships are tough as you can't monitor your bf/gf when you aren't with them.. flirting with other people can be considered as cheating as flirting can lead from one way to another.. i caught my hubby cheating on me.. i caught him texting with his pathetic/psychotic ex girlfriend.. the worse is they went out with my hubby's two sisters and they went to Boracay,Aklan(beach).. yay! I got furious and confronted him right away.. i decided to end the relationship but he begged and asked for forgiveness.. it took days before i decided to forgive him and my decision to gve him another chance was worth it..
• Philippines
13 May 09
I'd probably do the same thing if I was married to him. But I am, not so I am not going to tolerate his flirtatious acts. I'm done with him. Good thing it worked for you. Wish you the best.
@chillpill90 (1937)
12 May 09
i would be extremely hurt if i found my fiance had been flirting with someone else. whether it was online or in person. i believe she is the one and am totally committed to her. you should try and explain to him how you feel and for your own peace of mind ask him if he does it often?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 09
Well, I'm done with him. Whether it be innocent or not, whether it's often or seldom, I don't care anymore. I was betrayed and I am hurt. I'm not gonna accept him back in my life. I'm young and beautiful hehehe. (bear with my temporary insanity)I can still fid someone who will be true to me, who will love me dearly.
@jayrene (2713)
• Philippines
12 May 09
yes for me it is. why would somebody who is already committed flirt with somebody else? that is just not being faithful to the one you're committed in.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 09
Exactly! I coudn't agree more!
• Philippines
12 May 09
Yes, I think flirting is cheating. Because why would you flirt with a person if your not interested with him/her. Even if it was online and he cant touch that girl. He had a girlfriend so he should know how to talk with other woman without flirting.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 09
That is exactly what I have been telling him. It seems that he is not aware that what he did was wrong. I never flirted with anyone while I was with him.
@code_11 (902)
• Nigeria
12 May 09
Hmm! cheating is more like to me you know someone bent on getting something bad done without any atom of thought about any other person while flirting is playing with someones emotion, which could as well go two way. Either you're playing with the persons emotions just for the fun of doing so or that you have interest of taking advantage of the person if for any reason he/she falls for you. However in all i think flirting ain't such a good idea when u have a relationship going.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 09
Yeah! Definitely! Any type of flirting whether innocent or not, as long as you're in a relationship, is never a good idea. Some people just think that they can get away with it thinking that it is just an innocent flirt.
@Amberina (1542)
• United States
12 May 09
Online relationships are very tricky there is so much that you don't know. You don't live with them every day in their home and so you can't see how many times they get on the computer or what their doing. It can be very painful when your bf cheats on you with someone else online. It's a big online world and people can sometimes hide behind computers who they really are it's best that you found out now instead of later when you have left your home, job an maybe even family members to go be with this person only to find out he is a loser. That has happened to a lot of people since the online world started.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 09
Yeah! I agree. Although that it is a sad fact, it is actually what is happening in the world of the internet.
• United States
12 May 09
hmm i was in the same situation as you, and i also caught my Gf flirting with a guy online, and i told her about it, i told her well "what are you doing? aren't you MY gf? don't you love me?" and she told me the site was for flirting, then i told her, i didn't want her talking to guys like that, but then after that things got way better i gave her all my passwords and emails and she did the same for me, with a bit of confrontation and if you really love THAT person, then things can settle down, and i didn't consider it cheating, but it REALLY pissed me off, because no one deserves to be cheated on, but if i look at it now, it can be considered cheating, because a long distance relationship takes ALOT MORE communication and trust. i wish you the best of luck :) i am with my Girlfriend for 7 months now, hope to be with her for a LONG period of time :)
• Philippines
13 May 09
I'd probably understand if my ex was flirting publictly on a site but I caught him flirting privately with those women. I doubt that I will be able to trust him ever again. Thanks for sharing your story though. It's nice to know that it is working perfectly with you.
1 person likes this
@angelsmummy (1700)
12 May 09
i think that flirting is cheating, for the simple fact that flirting normally leads to other things, i hate people flirting with my partner, people tend not to do it any more but because hes a good looking bloke many females find him attractive, he was a massive flirt before we got together but stopped almost as soon as we was in a commited relationship. I personally couldnt handle it if my bloke was a flirt, some women can and some women cant!! i say well done to you for breaking it off because men need to know boundaries and clearly yours are strong like mine!! i have never flirted whilst in my relationship to my current partner simply because i love him to pieces and wouldnt risk our relationship breaking up over me flirting with other people, not only that i dont find any body else attractive.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 09
True! Flirting normally is the beginning. Just like you I NEVER flirted while I was in a relationship.
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
13 May 09
hmm it is not cheating but it is a matter of RESPECt, if he respects you then he would not flirt because of course it would hurt you and he will mind what you feels. plus he really loves you why would he find the need to still flirt if he is contented?
1 person likes this
@VANILLAREY (1473)
• India
13 May 09
You did the right thing potrish78. I don't think he had any plans to have a serious relationship with you. Its good that you found out his real nature before things were much more serious. I would have done the same thing I my girlfriend was flirting with someone else(online or offline).
• Philippines
13 May 09
Thanks! Well he is serious about me and I'm sure about that. But whether it be an innocent flirting or not it is still unacceptable and I was hurt. So I'm done with him.
@lynnemg (4540)
• United States
13 May 09
Maybe not cheating, but definately not accceptable, and definately something that would break my trust. I think that under the circumstances, you have probably done the best thing by telling him to leave. You said that you met him on-line yourself, so it would stand to reason that if you caught him flirting with some other woman on-line, it wasn't innocent, and I highly doubt that he would admit it if it weren't. In my opinion, it sounds like he was trying to have his cake and eat it too.
• Philippines
13 May 09
Well, that goes for me too. I don't trust him anymore. And there's no way I would get back with him again. Thanks for your comment.
@sharksfin (1098)
• Philippines
28 May 09
No doubt it is. Anyone in a relationship should only flirt with the one he/she's sharing the relationship with. Not to anyone else. If they have any intention of finding another one to flirt with, then, get out of the relationship than be infidel.
@Sprakie (31)
13 May 09
It all depends how much they flirt, how ofter, how they do it, and what methods. Alot of people do flirt with people tho, even when they dont realise it. And sometimes the person they seem to be flirting with could be the ones that are flirting, and it just seems like they are flirting back.
• United States
13 May 09
I never really intentionally flirt with anyone, I suppose I just naturally come off as such though. Or, well. As far as I have been told at least. I act the same usually no matter who I am around, which is usually playful and energetic. I touch people a little bit to much, but not in a bad way. I guess I can act that way around a guy, but I can't act that way around a girl. Around a girl it's considered flirting, but around a guy it's normal? Not bad touching. A little playful shoving, poking, and other somewhat bothersome and annoying things usually caused by too much energy. So yeah, I guess it depends if it's meant to be flirty. If the guy/girl goes out of their way to flirt with the other, than I think that it would conclude an interest in that person. It also depends on the actions/words said while the flirting was going on. Some of it might not have meant to be, but came out rather wrong like alot of things that people say/do. I guess it all comes down to your feelings and thoughts. Did you try and discuss it with him first? Normally you can tell if somebody you are in a relationship is lying to you. If you didn't talk about it, it could have been a mishap on your part.