Formal or Casual?
By cortypants
@cortypants (604)
United States
May 12, 2009 8:48pm CST
Do you feel that weddings should be a formal occasion? As in, suit and tie, no children allowed? Or do you see a wedding as a casual gathering of family, friends, and laughter? When my aunt got married, it was a very formal occasion. No children allowed, full suit and tie for the men, black and white only. It was very glitz and glamor, but not much fun! Then this past weekend I went to a friend's wedding, and it was EXTREMELY casual. Jeans, bare feet, sundresses, kegs of beer, kids running around. And I have to tell you, I had so much more fun at the casual wedding! I don't mean that a wedding isn't serious business. It's not to be taken lightly. But personally, I think a more laid back wedding is a LOT more fun for the guests to enjoy, and a lot less stress on the people planning it!:D What do you think?
2 people like this
19 responses
@thezone (9394)
• Ireland
13 May 09
Getting married is a big commitment but I would tend to agree with you a casual wedding is the way to go. That wedding you were at sounds like a blast
Weddings should be fun as it is the first day of the rest of your life together.
I was at a friends wedding a few years back and it was a riot. I have also been to a Celtic themed wedding which was just amazing.
When we get married, we are going to have a more laid back approach to it and make it fun
Weddings should be fun as it is the first day of the rest of your life together.
I was at a friends wedding a few years back and it was a riot. I have also been to a Celtic themed wedding which was just amazing.
When we get married, we are going to have a more laid back approach to it and make it fun
1 person likes this
I think I might be the only one.@cortypants (604)
• United States
13 May 09
That Celtic ceremony really sounds interesting, I bet it was beautiful!! We Irish sure know how to party! :D
Do you have Facebook? There's tons of pics if you want to take a look..
1 person likes this
@Ldyjarhead (10233)
• United States
13 May 09
That's a very personal decision, but I think somewhere in the middle would please most anyone.
I think the formality of the occasion is nice to mark it as what it is, an extremely important event (that SHOULD only happen once), but to make it too formal where people can't enjoy it because of all the stuffiness isn't right either.
Like I said, personal choice of the parties involved.
1 person likes this
@cortypants (604)
• United States
13 May 09
It's true, it's a very personal decision, different for every couple, and budget has a little something to do with it, as well, but I agree that somewhere in the middle is a nice choice! :D
@moonchild117 (1987)
• Philippines
13 May 09
I would say that would depend on the couple. For my wedding, my hubby and I decided that it's a semi-formal ceremony, not too dressy but guests are not allowed to wear jeans. As for the reception party, we made a fun program with games and stuff so that our guests can enjoy and feel laid-back. Besides, we're not a very formal couple and we want to have fun, too. We wanted our guests to remember our wedding as something that was fun but full of love.
1 person likes this
@cortypants (604)
• United States
13 May 09
That sounds like tons of fun! I think semi-formal is a nice compromise. I don't really think jeans belong at a wedding, but khaki's and a dress shirt should be good enough for the guys. Your wedding sounds like it was really something to remember!!
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
13 May 09
Hi, cortypants. I like weddings where people dress up but in a fun mode. My wedding was like that. My husband and I requested our guests to be in formal attire. But we can only afford to invite few people so they had to be our closest relatives and friends. And because of that, we were sure that all of them are happy to be there.
Have a nice day!
@cortypants (604)
• United States
13 May 09
It's true, you can dress up AND have fun. I was more meaning the stuffy weddings where you're scared to laugh or use the wrong fork.... I don't do well with those! LOL.
@Jennlk84 (4206)
• United States
13 May 09
My wedding is NEXT MONTH!!!
I feel like we have a little bit of both planned in our wedding. While everything will look very elegant from the wedding parties attire to our hall decor - I think that how the reception flows will be very laid back and casual. It will be fun with all of the dancing we will do!
1 person likes this
@cortypants (604)
• United States
13 May 09
Congrats go out to you, and good luck!!! Don't get me wrong, I think you should dress up for a wedding, I don't think you should wear jeans, but I think sundresses for the girls and khaki's for the guys is dressy enough, at least for my own wedding. I hope your wedding goes off without a hitch!!
1 person likes this
@cortypants (604)
• United States
13 May 09
I agree, it's much easier to let loose and have fun when the occasion isn't very stuffy. :D Have a great day!
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
13 May 09
My fiance and I are going more for the casual side as our wedding is themed. Our dress is western casual and we have put on our invitations to dress western casual. I think a wedding that is more lax is a lot better for more then just fun and comfort, and ease of planning, but also for ease of the bride and groom. I think our wedding will be more relaxing!
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
14 May 09
I appreciate that! I hope it does too, but I'm sure it has. The bumps in the planning have come and passed, and we got through them!
@cortypants (604)
• United States
14 May 09
Yes, the less stress on you guys the better! I hope everything goes well for you, good luck!!
1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
13 May 09
Obviously, it should be the choice of the bride and groom - some people want the formal/serious deal but your friends wedding sounds much more fun that your aunts. It seems a shame to leave out the children and for people to dress in a way that they aren't comfortable but, I suppose its an 'each to their own' thing.
1 person likes this
@cortypants (604)
• United States
13 May 09
I've got to tell you, my boyfriend was EXCITED when he found out you could have a wedding without ties! What is it with guys and ties? lol!! And the 'no kids' thing is a clincher for me, there are a lot of kids in my family and my boyfriend's, and I personally don't feel that my day would be complete without them. :D
@wahmivy (776)
• Philippines
13 May 09
I think it depends on the personality of the people being married. My own was a mixture (or so I'd like to think) of classic, boho, and green elements. I went barefoot halfway through the reception as my feet were killing me. :) I think it was a lovely but fun wedding.
@cortypants (604)
• United States
14 May 09
Everyone I know (females at least) end up barefoot at weddings .. no matter how cute the shoes are, they kill your feet! Usually the cuter the shoes, the more pain you're in! Your wedding sounds like a really fun one! :D
@theweerouss (982)
• United States
13 May 09
I'm fairly traditional when it comes to this kind of thing, and I enjoy weddings that are more dressed up. It's not often that you dress up formally, and for something as special as a wedding, I think it can not only be fun, but a meaningful demonstration of the importance of the occasion. In my experience, I've had just as much fun at formal weddings as I have at casual ones. As long as people are happy, and especially the bride and groom, I think everything works out :)
1 person likes this
@cortypants (604)
• United States
13 May 09
That's a good point, there are very few occasions to really get dressed up and prettified, lol, and I do enjoy picking out a dress and getting hair and makeup done, but to me the fun aspect outweighs the dress-up. Either way, I agree with you that as long as the bride and groom are happy, that's the most important! :D
@mommaj (23112)
• United States
13 May 09
I like the traditional wedding but somewhere in the middle. I can understand if you don't want screaming children at your wedding but with so many second weddings and weddings later in life, I don't think that formal is practical. I wouldn't go Casual to a wedding. Even though it does sound fun.
@cortypants (604)
• United States
14 May 09
As I said, I don't really think jeans are appropriate at a wedding, but I don't think the full suit and tie and jacket are necessary either. A mix in the middle seems perfect to me!
@scififan43 (2434)
• United States
13 May 09
As for me I tend to think of a weding as a more formal event. where everone does dress up very formal, the bride in a weding dress and groom in a tux. However children would still be a part of the cerimonny.
As for me, I think I would prefer a informal cermony for my weding, whenever I do get married. not anytime soon though. I envision having a simpe ceromeoney at the courthouse with the Judge marring me and my bride with jsut a few family members as kids, it seems more cheap and less time comsuming. less stressful too.
@larish (2191)
• Philippines
13 May 09
I also felt that a formal wedding is very supreficial - guest are too conscious on how to act on this type of occassion. This is the reason why we choose to have a not so formal wedding. We want my guest to enjoy and have fun on my wedding. Our theme then is a mini reunion of relatives and friends. We also didn't restrict them to bring their children because we don't want to hear our guest that the reason they cannot attend our wedding is because no one is gonna take care of the kids.
You are right, it is really so much fun to have a not so stiff wedding. People are more relax and enthusiastic to join the program.
@moujha (86)
• Mauritius
13 May 09
Well, i think a wedding should be a casual occasion but with some restrictions though. Formals clothes should be worn but kids can be allowed. It is a happy occasion, thus everyone should be happy. Marriage is serious but it can't be made like a formal board meeting because it won't be a true wedding then because in a normal wedding, there should be enjoyment. Lots of guests coming and having fun together.
@cortypants (604)
• United States
14 May 09
Exactly, it's an important occasion, but not a sad one!! :D
@ringbearer25 (402)
• United States
30 Jun 09
First of all, are we talking about a gay wedding or a straight wedding? Because it makes a HUGE difference as to how formal it will be. Also, in the same tolkien, if it's a gay wedding, who the heck cares what people wear....it's a gay wedding! I would love to see the groom wear a dress and the bride wear a tux, both women, and enjoy their freedom to wear what they want along with their freedom to spend the rest of their lives with the person they love!
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
15 May 09
I think that either can be fine. Wedding ceremonies are a right of passage. The guests are there to witness the commitment the couple is making to each other. The day is about the couple not the guests. People who have fancy formal events more than likely have fancy friends. There are times for formality and times for pure frivolity. I think what is important is that we respect the choice of the persons getting married and participate or not accordingly.
@tundeemma (894)
• South Africa
13 May 09
it depends on the way people see it, i believe it should be more of a social or casual thing but people take it too serious, it should be a celebration or anniversary and not something that should be taken to the extreme as if one is a work environment, a wedding with casual dresses seems to be more pleasant to me
@cortypants (604)
• United States
14 May 09
Exactly, I feel it should be a celebration, not an occasion you should have to feel stressed over! Like I said, I don't feel jeans are appropriate, but a full suit and tie are overkill in my opinion. :D
@sublime03 (2339)
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
I am still in the midst of determining if I want mine to be formal or casual. I myself do not want to be so formal since I am not up to wearing formal clothing. But it would be nice to be in between formal and casual to make the environment more fun. I think weddings are days that you should cherish thus it should be a little casual so that it won't be so uptight.
