my GF makes me decide if i either i'll choose her or my friends..

Philippines
May 14, 2009 9:22am CST
..its a long story, we broke up with such nonsense thing..well, let me tell you, we talk lately and then probably let me decide either i'll choose her or my friends..then, i ask her why she'd ask me like that??, then i answer her i'll choose my friends,so,she had break with me..how could that be?? girls are really unpredictable!!
2 people like this
20 responses
@jayrene (2712)
• Philippines
14 May 09
of course! - if i am the gf i would do the same thing, this is like you told her that your friends are more important to you than her... although it was a stupid question, you should have answered differently and told her what she wanted to hear. girls are sometimes like that, they want to feel that they are the most important person in their boyfriend's life. if you still love her, you can apologize though, that is if you like. you may get her back.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 May 09
..well, but you know why?? i love my friends just like i love her..but the point is, they are my friends, and i know more about them because i know their attitude long before i met my girl..did you get my point??, if you were here in my shoes..you'll do the same thing..
@jayrene (2712)
• Philippines
14 May 09
yes i get your point... but it did hurt your girlfriend's feeling. probably she feels like you're spending more time with your friends than with her. girls always wants to feel special and first in their boyfriend's life.
• United States
14 May 09
There's nothing wrong for a girl to want to feel special and important.. but it's not right to make a guy choose between his friends and his girl. It's selfish...
@gracie04 (4554)
• Philippines
14 May 09
Well, my girlfriend was hurt for sure.. imagine, you have chosen your friends over her.. if i were in her place, i would feel the same way too.. what if she asks you the same question then answered the same thing as well, what would you feel? i am sure you would be deeply hurt.. it seems like your friends are more important to you than your girlfriend. if you don't want to lose both, try to balance your time but of course spend more time with the love of your life..
• Canada
14 May 09
Exactly! If he could balance it out the problem would be solved and he would have both his friends and girlfriend. Of course the girlfriend would take a little bit more time, but seeing and being in contact with friends is important too!
@smileonstar (4013)
• United States
14 May 09
I think I kind of know your story a little bit by what you told us here. I think you spend more time with your friends than her and she feels hopeless and useless. Most girls will think like that once her bf think his friends are important, even me. But if you want to be with both of them, you should give yourself a schedule. Take sometimes for your gf and sometimes for your friends. I know they both are important but you have to think who comes first. If you are married, the question is how important your family is? what does family mean to you? then you know. Girls are easy to talk to if you know the rule and you have to play it cool. So, if you want to get back to your lovely gf then talk to her about it and your friends also. Life will never be with your friends forever. Think about it and start your new decision.
1 person likes this
@broboque (146)
• Malaysia
14 May 09
Well i had the same situations before. My Girlfriend jealous of me spending more time with my friend. Well... helloooo... we were living together, i just spend my time only when i am with my friend. And she said that whenever i am with my friends its like, she was left out. ... I believe sometime girls just acting childish... just to get their BF attentions
• Philippines
17 May 09
..your right bro..thanks!!
15 May 09
Forget about this girl, she should be ashamed of herself for putting you in such a position. It sounds like she has jealousy issues, this kind of girl can ruin your life if you give them the chance.
@queennee (188)
• Philippines
15 May 09
hi marlon,its not a surprise that she broke up with you..immagine,you choose ur friends over her? if your into her situation,then she choose her friends over you,how would you react?would you be happy?of course not,your girlfriend gets very dissappointed of wht she have heared.choosing your friends over her means shes not that important to you and that its okay for you even if she's not in your life anymore.girls sometimes needs to be pampered and needs your attention,let her feel secured so that she wont question ur loyalty and sincerity to her..hope you understand..make it up with her man...:) good day!
• China
15 May 09
Well,as i think each couple have this trouble,but i think last a love relationship is not easy,allow your friend have a happy campany with others even without you,don't be possesive,it'll broke a relationship.And if you love your gf,you must accept his weakness,not anyone is perfect,everybody doesn't want to change each other,the best just accept.
@mkchaves (533)
• Canada
15 May 09
you must be the kind of boyfriend who has all of the time with friends rather than with her, like for example - you have a date and you cancelled out because you and your buddies have a game or something. sometimes, girls have loongg patience, and when the time that she made you choose - well maybe you have just burst her bubble. enough is enough. it's really hard on her part that you chose friends over her. it doesn't mean that girls are unpredictable, she wanted comfort from you . you were the one unpredictable to her, maybe she was just trying you out, for all we know - she just asked the question to know who you'd really pick. for her to know that you care for her. I really don't know the whole story. these are just mere conclusions. good luck marlon ^^
@Morpher (76)
• Indonesia
15 May 09
I think ur gf like child or maybe ur less attetion to her. U can always enjoy with ur friends, but u must remember u have gf and she need u. So u can gave ur time to ur friends and ur gf, maybe u can invite ur gf to join and enjoy with ur friends too.
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
15 May 09
It looks like she is being unfair to you. I don't know your friends too and i really don't know the situation. Could it be that you are spending more time with your friends than with your girlfriend? Are your friends the decent type? Maybe she's been bothered by your friends because she think that they may not be a good influence to you so she's just trying to make you stay away from them. Otherwise, then i guess she's being bratty about it. She's being possessive which is not good.
@yoyozhou (356)
• China
15 May 09
Hey,guy,I don't what happen to you.But I think there are some problems between you and she.You should talk to her but not choose! Why she ask you to choose between she and your friends? Once I had a bf and he was always together with his friends and share a little with me.And his friends are not the kind of people I like. So I were not happy. Is she just like me?
@sanuanu (11238)
• India
15 May 09
Hmm, it might be a long story but unless you tell us the whole story, we can't get to the point that if the girl was unpredictable or a guy is(i.e you).
• United States
15 May 09
When my girl friend gave me the decision I picked her and I forgot my friends but it was not worth it... My friends were everything, they were fun, great an I was having too much of her so I broke up with her. A real man should be able to balance both his girl friend/wife along with his social life with his friends.
• Philippines
14 May 09
I almost made that wrong selfish move back then - I almost ask my boyfriend to choose between me or his friends. Good thing I didn't do it because I know better. Anyway, I guess the reason why your girlfriend made you choose between you and your friends was probably because you've been spending more time with your friends them than with her. However, you shouldn't have made that decision. You shouldn't have chosen anyone. Period. I think it would've been better if you've just talked. For one, it's not fair to let you choose or make that decision, but it's also not fair to your girlfriend that you chose your friends over her. She need not to hear that. However, if you think and feel that you're no longer happy being in a relationship with her, especially if you don't love her anymore, or vice versa, then it's about time to let go.
• United States
14 May 09
Ick, I hate it when I hear someone does the "it's either me or them" thing. It's too bad you guys couldn't work it out. Then again, if she wasn't understanding enough to know you need your guy buddies and not just her, maybe its for the best. With the next girlfriend, you might want to try to keep things even, some time with the guys and some time with the girl. Hope next time works out better!
• United States
14 May 09
Why should you have to choose at all... why is she trying to make you choose like that.... it seems like a selfish thing on her part. If she really loves you she would never make you choose between something like that. You would never want to do that to her. She doing it just because she wants to hear how important she is and know that she is loved... but if she was really in love with you she would know and be confident that you love her.. and she wouldn't stoop to making you choose between your friends and her. think about it realistically... if you chose her and it didn't work out... where are your friends gonna be??? Your friends will last before she does.. believe me I've been there done that.
• Canada
14 May 09
She must really hate your friends. did they ever upset her?
@arkansos (546)
• India
14 May 09
Yes girls are unpredictable. She just got a huge ego attack. Under such circumstances, the best thing that works is circular logic. "What would you choose? I'll chose the same!" She says "My friends", you say "my friends". She says "your friends", you " I chose them who you chose(your own friends)" . For future reference :)
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
14 May 09
The description of the situation is way to narrow for me to make up my mind. I think it depends on the situation. If for example you spend night after night with your friends and hardly have time for her, I would understand why she would face you with this ultimatum. On the other hand, if it is no such case I don't see why you can't have your own friends. My boyfriend actually has friends I can't stand because I believe they not treat them as a proper friend should, but that's his choice. As long as I don't have to come along when he goes to see them I am fine with it.
• Canada
14 May 09
I know it would have been great if you could have both your girlfriend and your friends and it is weird that she gave you an ultimatum but I'm sure she had her reasons. I don't blame her for being upset though because you choosing your friends basically told her that she isn't important to you!