AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

@Polly1 (12648)
United States
November 11, 2006 6:58pm CST
1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. 5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 6. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. Remember: * Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. * Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. * If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan
8 responses
@claudia413 (4284)
• United States
12 Dec 06
I just posted this as I received it today from a friend. I'm sorry I didn't see your discussion first. Mine does have a few more added, so you can tell I didn't copy yours. I found your discussion at the bottom of the page under "Similar Discussions". Again, I'm sorry. I really laughed when I read these, and I felt everyone here could get a chuckle out of a few of them.
@Polly1 (12648)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Thanks for letting me know, I am the easiest person to get along with. I like to share funny stuff to with everyone.
• United States
12 Dec 06
I feel the same way, and thanks for being so understanding. I have told people posting to mine that yours was here first and I didn't realize it had been posted. It really tickled my funnybone when I read it and I just wanted to pass it on.
@ricky1209 (1677)
• India
24 Dec 06
A guy took a part time job as an opinion poll sampler, calling people for their views on various issues. On his very first call, he introduced myself, "Hello, this is a telephone poll." A man on the other end replied, "Yeah, and this is a street light!"
@Polly1 (12648)
• United States
25 Dec 06
Thanks for the response, I will have to remember that about the street light.
@disvachic (10121)
• United States
12 Dec 06
that was funny, need a little humor here at mylot thank you for the laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@Polly1 (12648)
• United States
12 Dec 06
I am glad you liked it. I thought it was funny too.
• India
11 Dec 06
polly u made be roll. it was nice.i needed it.thanks for the post.
• United States
11 Dec 06
Thanks for the laugh. You forgot one that i find myself telling my kids, "Never put new shoes on the table because your feet will hurt you",my mom use to tell us that and i guess my grandma use to say that and now i catch myself saying it. Don't know why your feet will hurt but i'm not taking a chance-lol.
@Polly1 (12648)
• United States
11 Dec 06
I know why your feet will hurt, because she will break them. haha.
• United States
11 Dec 06
funny Polly. I needed a good laugh.
@Polly1 (12648)
• United States
11 Dec 06
Thanks I thought it was funny too.
• United States
12 Nov 06
I just love these! Still laughing. Good post!
@Polly1 (12648)
• United States
12 Nov 06
Thanks, it would be hard to pick a favorite home remedy.
@JoyfulOne (6242)
• United States
12 Nov 06
That was hilarious Polly! You're right on with the duct take and WD-40, I use them for everything! (And probably on things I shouldn't) Good post...I'm still chuckling, lol
@Polly1 (12648)
• United States
12 Nov 06
Thanks I thought it was funny too and wanted to share it with everyone. We all could use a laugh.