AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
November 11, 2006 6:58pm CST
1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. 5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 6. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. Remember: * Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. * Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. * If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan
• United States
12 Dec 06
I just posted this as I received it today from a friend. I'm sorry I didn't see your discussion first. Mine does have a few more added, so you can tell I didn't copy yours. I found your discussion at the bottom of the page under "Similar Discussions". Again, I'm sorry. I really laughed when I read these, and I felt everyone here could get a chuckle out of a few of them.
24 Dec 06
A guy took a part time job as an opinion poll sampler, calling people for their views on various issues. On his very first call, he introduced myself, "Hello, this is a telephone poll." A man on the other end replied, "Yeah, and this is a street light!"
• United States
11 Dec 06
Thanks for the laugh. You forgot one that i find myself telling my kids, "Never put new shoes on the table because your feet will hurt you",my mom use to tell us that and i guess my grandma use to say that and now i catch myself saying it. Don't know why your feet will hurt but i'm not taking a chance-lol.