I 'm not good enough...

@HelScream (2828)
Philippines
May 14, 2009 11:32pm CST
Just come to realize that I was never good enough to be love or to be a friend with anyone. I think I am not good enough to be love by anyone. The person I love is on the verge of letting go I cant force that person to stay and love me I tried I really do tried but I guess I am never good enough. God I tried holding on I really do , I give my best to this relationship but I guess it's never good enough...God it hurts in a few while I would know her decision....but i am never hopeful now everything is clear she wants her freedom .....and I guess I will give it to her if thats what she wishes...
9 people like this
32 responses
• United States
15 May 09
You already have your answer. You'll give it to her if she wishes. I don't understand why you think so deeply and so much. You already made your decision to do what she wishes because of your love for her. Leave it that way and don't think about it. Carry on. :) PS - Easier done than said, haha.
1 person likes this
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
15 May 09
Easier done than said
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
15 May 09
I do have my answer on what she want but I want the opposite... how can one let go if one wishes to stay but the other one want to go. All I could do is respect her decisions now. I did tried to reason out things but if she cant hear me out just listen to her heart and everything said and done theres nothing else to do right.
@Sprakie (31)
15 May 09
To be honest, you dont need to be good enough except for yourself. The only reason someone should fall in love with someone is because you love them for who you are. This is why if someone wants to leave you, you should never beg for them back. They want to leave you because there is something wrong for who you are. You should alwaysbe yourself, and if they dont like you for that, then they are not right for you.
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
15 May 09
well yeah you have a point there my friend. If they she comes back then we are meant to be but if she doesnt then my love wasnt meant to be hers in the first place, I need someone who can accept me for what I am and not what i should have....
@Smudly (15)
• United States
15 May 09
Every person has many people that are compatible with them. Whether it is a friend, or more than that. There is somebody out there for every one of us. It is just finding those people. Just keep on living through life and try to be as positive as possible. Eventually you will find somebody that you can share your life with.
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
15 May 09
Well all I could say for now is sometimes life is cruel or is it just me that is cruel with life that it didnt give me the only person and the only thing that I ever wanted. I know that theres someone for everyone, but I only want her and no one else.... I have been through a lot this is my second love and the greatest love I ever experienced but still cant have her. Thats why because of this I said I am never good enough or is it just my bad luck with love .....
@maezee (32269)
• United States
15 May 09
Don't think of it that way. You aren't any more or less than anyone else; you just need to accept the fact that if the relationship isn't going to work - it isn't going to work. It doesn't have anything to do with you being "not enough". Don't punish yourself too much; everything happens for a reason and whatever the reason behind this relationship breaking up is more than likely not your fault.
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
15 May 09
I cant not just yet I have to try to keep quite now and I dont care whatever she says if I dont answer to her right now as long as it would somehow save the relationship even for a day. I cant i am not ready to let go and will never be ready. Maybe this is just a natural reaction of a rejection...
• Philippines
15 May 09
if you think like that, then you'll probably become one. love yourself a little bit more by believing in your self some more. don't demoralize yourself. it will just add to pain. and "don't put out the light when you already know you can't see in the dark". i don't know if this makes sense but thinking negatively is bringing the pain much earlier coz you already know that the negative outcome will really hurt you. why not hang on a little bit more to faith? to hope? even if you have decided to give her freedom (if ever), don't deny yourself the right to hope and believe in something positive. even if it's just a mere ray of light in the darkest of rooms.
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
15 May 09
hello my friend seems to me you almost know my story as of now. Hope I didnt make you cry again. Looks to me it's been days I am having this problem. Well everything will change for the better soon. And yes you are right I wont be like this but all this is just an initial reaction to be rejected the second time around first with her mom now the only person that I ever love whats the worst thing that could ever happened is about to happen. No, I wont let them take the best part of me..I have to hold on and if holding on means I have to give her space and a silence then that is what I have to do..... I understood you perfectly in everything you say, and yes you make a great sense of it all....if I have to get all the light so there wont be space for darkness I will......
• Philippines
15 May 09
hello... yes, somehow i'm learning more and more about your story... and no, i didn't cry this time coz i believe the battle has not been lost... merely a delay in outcome. i do hope someone else could make you feel better or something could. and yes, for your sanity's sake, don't ever let anyone take the best part of you. i guess, the offer i made before still stand. no time limit to midnight this time. :)
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
15 May 09
I told you already You should have made your over lifetime lol at least you make me laugh my friend. And yeah I can still remember your offer thats how I remember you glad to know its still open. Now was just wondering is it only for me or is it for all just trying to make things a little bit different in a way have to take my mind away from it all. Or else I wont be able to sleep and eat now.
@sanuanu (11238)
• India
16 May 09
Hi HelScream, so, you are now facing the bitter really of love. Now, just in case for a moment, did you every think of giving pain to her because she left you? I mean she is the one who left you, it is not you who left her, were you? So, even for a moment, did you ever think that you will make her life face an every bitter reality? just curious!
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
16 May 09
hi sanu, yeah this is in deed the bitter reality of love. We both separate the wrong way hurting each other but now I never had that on my mind revenge is not mine to take.yeah she left me she made me hate her but she is not successful coz I still love her. Call me a fool but it's true. I only want her happiness and not make her suffer for what has been done. This is how much I love her.
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11238)
• India
16 May 09
Hmm, you are different to I! When I got separated from my gf then I was in a mood of like killing her. I wanted to do bad things with her but I couldn't. Still, I think that she must not remain happy in her life so that she would miss me!
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
16 May 09
Wishing her well and setting her free with all my hurt and with all my guts took a lot of courage in this way I am not only setting her free but me as well if i wish her bad things then I would suffer at the same time but if wish her happiness happiness is what you get. Sanu I dont want to be in hell for the rest of my life if you know what I mean thats why i wish er well.
1 person likes this
@cobra1368 (704)
• United States
15 May 09
You can't hang on to someone if they don't want the same thing. The relationship will not work. Either you hurt now, or you will hurt later. You can't make her love you if she doesn't. If it is meant to be, then maybe one day she will come back to you. She has come into your life for a reason. Maybe you two met in order to show you how to love. Maybe the reason hasn't been revealed yet. Maybe you are parting ways with her because someone even better suited for you is going to come your way. You will eventually stop hurting and move on with your life. Sometimes it takes a lot longer than you want it to, but things always work out in the end. If it isn't meant to be, then it isn't meant to be. Don't fight it. Both people have to be in it heart and soul for it to work. You wouldn't be happy knowing that she wasn't happy, would you?
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
15 May 09
well the relationship is over but my loves remain she asked for it so I let her go just now.I too believe that there is always a reason for everything... i hope it wont be to late for her to comeback when everything else is gone.... i still do love her and nothing change......I am happy where she is happy but for now I think I have to love myself and move on with life I only wish her happiness.
• United States
15 May 09
I think that is a very mature way to look at the situation. Good luck to you, and I wish you the best in life. :)
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
15 May 09
Thanks for the luck my friend and the wishes well same goes to you my friend have a happy day and thanks for giving time to read my discussion and replied to it as best as you can.
• Philippines
15 May 09
hey, just like in a dance... it takes two to tango...unfortunately, your partner has stopped dancing... you cannot do the tango alone. Maybe she doesn't know how to dance at all that's why she stopped... but that doesn't mean there will be no more dancing... your task is to find a better partner or the best and be the best partner you could ever be. you said you've done everything too make the relationship work... I'm glad you did... at least that way, you will not regret and say "what if" because you already did your best. yes, it's painful but time heals all wounds. add love to that and in no time you will find love again and by then, you will have already learned how to make your relationship work. God bless you!
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
15 May 09
wow it's an honor to be chosen as your first topic to relate here at mylot. first let me welcome you here my friend. I will add you to my friends list after replying to your comment. Yes I too believe in that saying "It takes two to tango" I never want the music to end nor the dance of love but we can never force our partner not to stop from dancing . Maybe she want another dace in her life and not tango maybe we dont jive on the same tune anymore or was I just dreaming we have the same song. thanks for wishing me luck my friend.
• Philippines
15 May 09
hi there! thank you for welcoming me...i actually felt so lost yesterday when i started here or was it two days ago... now am confused..hehehe. anyway thank you and i hope to see you comment on my discussions soon...right now i don't have anything in mind to start with. so i hope your heart heals right away! have a nice day!
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
15 May 09
If you need any help dont hesitate to pm me I would gladly help you as best as I can. I will show you around her at mylot and help you learn more about this site. Just accept the friends request that I just send you and pm me PM (personal message)ok and dont hesitate....I have all the time in the world...
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
15 May 09
hmmm.no one is good enough just try to be better in life.don't force anyone who didn't love you anymore .you are right to give her freedom i think.good luck
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
15 May 09
nice advice from now on I would try to be better in life alone ...sometimes its hard to let go if one wishes to stay...just hard.
@betsyhu (207)
• China
15 May 09
If the girl belong to you in fate , she always do not leave you, even if faraway from you. Believe lucky, though we can't confirm whether exist or not.
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
15 May 09
i understand the feeling ,easy to go but wishes still there.just have a try.
@1hopefulman (28482)
• Canada
17 May 09
It has always been my belief that love cannot be forced. It can be nurtured but it cannot be forced. Not everyone will love us and we don't love everyone in a romantic way. That's how nlife is! So if this relationship doesn't work, don't think it's the end of the world and that no one else will ever love you. There will be others!
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
18 May 09
Yes my friend I love her just enough to set her free. Coz I too believe that true love knows how to set your love one free. Even if it was hard for me and for her we still have to part if she returns then she is mine and if she doesnt then her love wasnt mine in the first place.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (28482)
• Canada
19 May 09
That is an excellent way to handle the situation. I hope that one day you find someone that can love you as much as you love her. I wish you well!
@Margajoe (4720)
• Germany
16 May 09
Hi Dan! If she does not want you, it is her loss. There are more women out there. You will find one that deserves your love. Until then enjoy your freedom. Once you lose it, you don't get it back, hahaha! I hope you are feeling better. Wishing you all the best. Take care, my friend.
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
17 May 09
hello Joe how are you my friend? busy with studies. hope you are ok. Well for now I am still hoping that she would come back to me one of this days coz we end up on the wrong way. Thanks for wishing me the best my friend you too take care and hope you would have more time to to do mylot when you are not busy missing your long replies
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4720)
• Germany
17 May 09
Hi Dan!!! That is so nice of you. It is nice to have friends, even when you don't know what they look like, hahaha! Anyway, I think you will find another nice lady soon. Normally when you don't go looking for it, it comes. That is the way love works. You don't look for it, and it comes by itself. I have had many broken relationships. I am still here. It is a part of life. I have learned a lot. I would have liked to be able to say, I still have my one and only. But, it was not meant to be. I had a lot of bad luck with men. Still do, this one is the most broke of all! Oh well, we will manage. (I hope) hahaha! Move on my friend, you are still young and have a whole life in front of you. Make life beautiful for you first. Then the rest will come by itself. Take care.
@Maryam27 (412)
• Pakistan
16 May 09
HelScream, please don't think low about yourself, that way you are only making your life worse like everyone else. Things happen for some reasons and maybe there is a thing called destiny. Do try to get what you want but if things doesn't work...don't blame yourself for that. Maybe you deserve something better than that. Always be positive and hopeful :) I wish you the very best life can offer.
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
16 May 09
thanks a lot for wishing me that my friend but i rather wish that to her. and yes that was just an initial reaction from the pain that is creeping me inside . I would be better not for others but for myself. I have done my part I have given my all but I guess my all is not good enough for them so for now I will be better for myslef.. thanks my friend.
@Maryam27 (412)
• Pakistan
17 May 09
I am glad you understood and I wish you all the very best in your life :)
@34momma (13896)
• United States
15 May 09
oh i am so sorry to hear that your relationship is ending. but that doesn't mean that you are not good enough. that means there is something and one better coming along. and in order to get ready you need not be in a relationship. don't you ever put yourself down like that! you are good enough. and just because one person can't see it that's their lost
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
15 May 09
thsnks for the kind words my friend... I say this coz of an initial reaction and the things that I have been through. I know she stills loves me but giving her the freedom she wanted would somehow give her peace thats why i give her that. Just now everything is over but my love for her is still the same....cant think of another person who could replace her inside my heart.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13896)
• United States
15 May 09
well it's all new. but trust me you will find someone new. you loved her enough to let her go. now love yourself enough to know there is someone out there just for you
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
17 May 09
Not good enough... Dear not good enough, you need to get a grip. Realize that people do whatever they want to do. If she wants to be with you she would be. Let her go and if she love you she will return. In the meantime you need to man up and quit being so hard on yourself. Just try to see this situation as you didn't have what she wanted. Not all of us can please everybody and if you really loved her you'd only want the best for her. Let her go so that she can find the one that makes her happy and then you can do the same. Don't worry, you'll be fine all by yourself for a while b/c it seems like you need to do a lot of growing up. Maybe that's the reason why she is choosing to leave. Sorry if it sound like i"m being kind of hard on you but it doesn't make any sense for a man to be falling apart like over a break up like you're doing.
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
18 May 09
It's ok my friend its just an initial reaction to a hurtful feeling but I need time to gather up my wits. Men do fall apart you know. It's better to feel the pain so one can learn from it and its better to face the hard reality of it all then to deny it. One has to let it out rather than to keep it inside which would lead to more pain. And yes I am mature enough to face all my problems may it be very painful. I am but a human capable of pain. She loved me and I love her the reason is beyond our control thats why. It may be hard for me but it's harder for her for she has no choice in it. I do welcome any comments in this. Some of the respondent here knows the story already from my other discussion. I do thank you for the time you spend on telling me what you think about it.
@ridah27 (31)
• Trinidad And Tobago
17 May 09
hey my fellow mylotter, i know how u feel but u got to let her go ...i was in similar situation ...yrs has pass since then and still;.. i'm tryin to enjoy the best of my single life...yes i was like i'm not good enough still think so sometimes...but if God has design this particular path for me i'm welcome to take it..!!... hope all turns out well ...good luck..!!..
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
17 May 09
Yeah I know how to let go and I know how it is to be single for 9 years without no gf but for now seems hard again to go back where you have all been before. Yeah I guess my path and her path will never meet in the future but there is still this s[park of hope left a tiny bit of spark and I am willing to take my chances with that. Thanks my friend.
@mymaria (379)
• Philippines
16 May 09
hi, Helscream! Will everyone of us is not good enough. it also depends upon the situation. Base in your situation., you know all of your effort to make your relationship strong and long last. but both of you know what is really going on. now, If you tried your best to make it the best, ask your gf why she did it to you? what is the reason behind her decision?. The best thing to do is to talk with her and try to recover with you self. Happy Mylotting!
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
16 May 09
I dont know if I can patch up this relationship I can if she wanted too but if she wishes not to then all I can do is set her free. I want her back and thats the truth but in her own free will
• Philippines
16 May 09
It will really hurt but you have to accept her decision.I know you can handle it because you want her to be happy.Pray for strength and guidance.It will help you a lot.Take care!
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
16 May 09
yeah it does hurt and I have set her free it's for her own happiness but still want her back in her own free will now
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
16 May 09
Everything that happens has a reason. You may not good enough for her but you may be the best for someone else. God may have someone more deserving for you in the same way that you maybe much deserving for her. So if can no longer do something to patch the relationship, let go and move on. I wish you good luck and happiness.
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
16 May 09
Thanks for wishing me luck and happiness my friend but i think its better for me to wish her this I can be ok in time but I dont know if she will and how she will handle all this. I have to admit I am still thinking of her happiness even if she hurts me.... I dont want the best for me I want the best for her thats why I was thinking I guess I was not good enough to deserve her love. She needs someone better than me. In time and time can only tell.
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
16 May 09
you can love anyone but you can't make them stay not only love, this goes with friendship too you can choose between being angry and seek revenge, to accept and move on or to accept and keep loving but none of them guarantees they will come back and stay so choose wisely since you will have to live with your decision all your life in my case, marrying my hubby is the best decision I've ever made in my whole life if this relationship should fail, I will let him go and still love him he is the only one in the world I will love even after breaking my heart everyone else, my heart won't rest until it's avenged that's my choice. what is yours?
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
16 May 09
sa,e as yours you said it well littleMel. I think what we have is real love after all for it knows how to set someone free but still love the person. Loving her is the best thing that ever happened to me as well and it would be selfish of me to make her stay if she wants out. At least the feeling stayed with me for a while at least she made me fall in love again more than that would be to much to ask. I only want her happiness and being away from me would give her that then I am willing to give it to her even if it hurts.
@lumenmom (1996)
• United States
15 May 09
No doubt your pain is real and rejection is never easy, but you have said several times that you are not good enough because of the rejection of one person who is probably not for you. You have a rating of 10 after only 295 posts, which tells me somebody thinks very highly of you, in fact quite a few people. I am sure if you try you will see many things about yourself that are positive and lovable. I bet you have family and friends who love you. Do not let the opinion of one person (who I know you have deep feelings for) make you think so lowly of yourself. As you say you did your best, maybe she did her best and now it is time for you both to move on and fine people who are right for both of you. I am sure you would rather be set free to find the right person rather than spending years trying to make a relationship with the wrong person work. It may be painful now, but you will get through it and things will get better in time.
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
16 May 09
You are right in all aspects I only want the best in her and if she will be happy with her decision, then setting her free was the best move I have done. For I think I am not able to make her happy anymore. Even if it hurts but I know the feeling will subside maybe not now maybe never but at least I tried loving her the way I know best. Love is not selfish love is kind and I love her just enough to set her free.If she comes back to me we are meant to be if not her love was not meant to be mine in the first place. I know she is hurting as well if only I could take all that pain away from her and suffer it for myself then I would. But sometimes pain is necessary for one to learn the real meaning of it all. I still love her and nothing change in my side... I do hope she is ok today.