My Divorce Is Getting Too Stressful To Handle
By dfinster
@dfinster (3528)
United States
May 15, 2009 4:20pm CST
Two months ago my husband filed for divorce. he never talked to me about it and I never saw it coming. He said it was because I wasn't working and helping out financially. I go to school full time. He wanted me to go and I make the Dean's list every quarter. He has always been in control of all the money because he says he makes it so it's his. he hasn't been paying bill because the lawyer and I found that out.
The last few months I have been looking for a job to help out but no place is hiring. Believe me I tried everywhere. My husband smokes at least 2 to 3 packs of cigarettes everday and goes through at least 2 30-packs of beer a week which is very expensive. he also buys anything his heart desires. I haven't even gotten a new shirt for the last 2 years because I wasn't working. I also take care of everything around the house like the cooking, cleaning, laundry and animals.
Now he's telling me I have to move out and I have no where to go and no money. he refuses to give me any to help me move anywhere. he says he's worked for it so it belongs to him. He tells me this everyday and I can't take it anymore. He's still spending like there's no tomprrow because he say "he can." What do I do?
2 people like this
9 responses
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
16 May 09
First of all, you say that you have an attorney,then talk to him. There is no way that I would allow this jerk to cause me to lose everything that I had worked for. You are in school because he wanted you there and you work due to the fact that you clean,cook,feed the animals, etc. I would immediately stop doing anything for him and I would let him fend for himself.
I would make sure that when this divorce was final, I had come out on top and he would be supporting me even longer. I believe that the house is half yours if you bought it while married and there is nothing that he can do to change the law. Fight for yourself and don't give up!!
@joe6219 (1)
• United States
16 May 09
I understand your problem. I have been through three break-ups myself. I have been on both sides of that situation. The trick is to set one particular goal and stick with it no matter what. That goal should be something that is good for your future. It seems to me college will do you a world of good. You may have to make some compromises with others that have been alienated from your life, but to complete something you have started for your betterment will give you an enormous amount of satisfaction and confidence. I understand the advice given about fighting for what is yours from the marriage particularly if there is a child(ren) involved, but many people do not realize that a situation that is bad for a child can come back to haunt you in ways in the future that will cost you even more emotionally and financially. Your first goal should be to get a situation that is peaceful and secure for the child. Everything else will flow well from that.
@TheGateKeeper (77)
• Canada
16 May 09
My best advice to you is to get a good lawyer and nail him for everything you can get from him.
1 person likes this
@TheGateKeeper (77)
• Canada
16 May 09
Yes indeed but from what i know about this particular case she should kick his a@@ out the door. She has full rights to half of everything he has. She should seek a good lawyer and sue for child support and alimony and not allow her ex to walk all over. Some people think they can get away with whatever they want and there is no consequences hell no life is a system that has certain rules to follow. I am hopeful she comes out on top of her situation and gets what is RIGHTFULLY hers and not let her EX get away with a damn thing.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
17 May 09
My guess I would start by finding a lawyer that would talk to me and get a legal separation started and go for alimony. It sounds like he is being very unfair about the whole thing. That is where I would start.
1 person likes this
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
17 May 09
Your husband sounds like a selfish jerk. (I am being nice here) Your lawyer should be able to help you to get alimony until you get on your feet. If the lawyer does not help, get a different lawyer. In the meantime apply find out about applying for welfare and food stamps and financial aid for school.
It sounds like something else is going on. My ex- is a lot like him.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
16 May 09
You need to go to your local women's crisis center. They are there to help women that are abused. Many would think of physical abuse but this is abuse just the same...it is mental and emotional abuse! You need to talk to someone that can guide you. You are married and you do have rights. For one....if you have lived there more than 2 weeks....he can't just up and kick you out. You are married which makes you automatically entitled to half of everything he own's. Do you have kids....if so...he will be owing you there also. Don't sign anything and don't feel pressured into moving. Stay strong, dfinster. This man sounds like a real jerk. Don't let him bully you.
@anangf (1146)
• Indonesia
17 May 09
I am vey concerned about your situation. The divorce is not the best way, you must be consider a lot. It is your family,he is your husband. How about your children after that, i think you should deside fast to controll the situation. Use your heart, what will be the best way for you and the children. I think hang in this problem is no good for all, espesially you. keep in tough..
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
17 May 09
ooh girl...u better go for that spousal and child support...then u can get that new shirt you'be been wanting....he's gonna sh*t his pants when he sees how much he's gonna have to fork over every week not to mention back pay while the divorce goes through.
1 person likes this
@cwriter (88)
• United States
16 May 09
Consider contacting legal aid in your state and seeing if you can get temporary alimony set up for before the divorce. There are many programs for displaced spouses. On a more personal note, consider that he might have already replaced you and perhaps you are better off that he wants to end things. He might also be depressed and unable to cope with the financial situation. Yes, even jerks get low from time to time. Perhaps he is distancing himself because he's the failure. He could also be gearing up for your independence.
1 person likes this
@PrarieStyle (2486)
• United States
16 May 09
Aww this is terrible. What a creep. If you have a child he can't throw you out. I honestly don't know what I would do. Their is a lot of free law advice online, I think I would start there.
If he doesn't want to be married to you he should get out.
1 person likes this
