How do you do it?

I get my heart broken so many times that I am quite adept at moving on. I just think that it is not the one for me and move on to the next stage of my life. Cheers!!

hi clgwilliams, Moving on after a relationship that went bad is very difficult.I was very hurt that time when I broke with my first boyfriend. I still have the feelings of love for him. But everytime I am feeling that he do not care to me any longer, I feel so upset. It seems to be a one sided love only.I gave him chances to change but he still not change. We argued a lot and neither one of us is willing to say sorry. Then, I made up my mind that no matter how painful it is, I have to give up the relationship. I broke with him and after that I keep to myself to be very busy. I deleted his number on my cellphone's phonebook. I keep the gifts he had given to me away from my sight.I started to make more time with my studies. I read hard and studied hard. When I am not doing anything, I mingled with my friends. I socialize with other people. Talk with them, smile with them, laugh with them. That was all I did for 2 years. It caused me so much pain that I did not entertain any suitors at all. I was not yet ready those time to love again. But after that, I found someone new. A person who is much better with him. A person who loves me more and cares with me more. I already accepted that my first boyfriend and I are not really meant for each other.

One of the most important first steps to take is to give yourself time to grieve. You MUST do that. Cry it all out and if you do that, it alone will make you feel better. There is no easy way out of simply letting your emotions do what you have to do. It is very healing. When you have reached a point that you feel you have cried it all out, it will take awhile, but when you do then you must begin to heal. The best way to do this is to talk to a very close friend. Someone you can confide in. If you have someone that will just listen, give no advice but simply listen, you then will begin the healing process. To tell you now that it will get better may not mean much but I can tell you from personal experience it will. It takes time to heal no matter what the hurt is and you must let that happen first. Regardless of what caused this pain, once you have gone through this process you will come to realize that there was a reason why it happened. No you will not see it now but you will later on. It is so true that when one door closes another will open. I would never have believed it either but it does but you must be ready and open to it. So take the time you need to grieve and let your friend help you do it. If you do this one day you will wake up and realize that you have put it behind you, you have come to accept it, and you will be ready to move on. Take that time and that day will come sooner than you think.

The first step to take is to gather your support system around you..whether that's family or friends, or both. You need their company and their distraction. You need to get busy and stay busy. Concentrate on your work or your studies, join a club, work out, take a class if you're not in school, do something that you've never done before. Every day will be a little bit easier but you need to limit the amount of time you have to sit around and think...at least for now.

The things that you need to think if is that you are never alone. Everyone at one stage in their lives has their heart broken. It is easier said than done but just take one day at a time. If you need to grieve, then do it. It will help clear your emotions. Even though I had be just a friend with a guy, he had broken my heart with something he said to me back in september last year. I try hard to move on but I still think about it. It is not every day now that I shed a tear but I still do shed a tear a few times per week. I know that with time, it will get easier. It is just that it has taken me a long time to get over a small part of it and will take me a long time to get over it. I am a type of person that when I feel that I have really good friend, I care for them alot. At really good friend to me, means the world to me because I don't have many friends in the offline world. This friend was my inspiration, my strength, some one who I could turn to for advice from a male. Now I have no good male friends. I will get there. I have to focus on the good and try not to focus on the past. It is not easy. Just one day at a time.

The first step to realize is that you must grieve the loss. It is not healthy to stay in that mode for a long time, but you should know when you are doing better. I have found that when I was hurt in relationships, lost my parents, lost children, etc. it really helps to focus on helping other people. I have always been amazed at how you don't have to look far to find someone that has maybe experienced a harder thing or needs help. Even though you have lost a relationship, you will always have some good memories and I do like to give thanks for the good times and celebrate the happiness.

Accept your situation. If you learn to accept the fact that the one you loved has been gone and has left you and that HE/SHE IS NOT COMING BACK, then that will be a new start for you to really move on.

When I'm upset I sit down put on music and just listen for a little bit. I try not to dwell on the past but keep moving forward as some would say. It's hard and I'm not going to say it's going to get any easier but all you can is move forward. It's really hard and I'm sorry you're going through this right now but it happens to everyone darling. Keep yourself busy and love will find you and then you'll see that if God intended on you staying together he would have showed you a sign. If it wasn't meant to be then it just wasn't meant to be. Be strong, hold your head up high, and move on with your life. If not for you but for everyone that enjoys your company and you as a human being.