Would you stay with this man?
By blue65packer
@blue65packer (11826)
United States
May 16, 2009 9:40pm CST
I work with a woman at work who is married to a guy she shouldn't stay with! The husband has done this more then once! He'll work at a job and he doesn't like the job anymore he gets fired or quits! Then his wife supports him until he finds the "perfect" job! The first time he did it he was unemployed for 3 years before he got the his "perfect job"! He was fired and was getting unemployment for awhile. His wife had to get a full-time job the first time around! Now it is going on again! Like a year and a half ago he qui he last time. He told his wife he was laid off and he couldn't get unemployment. The state screwed it up he told his wife! Only recently he told her the truth and his wife can't understand why he lied! My co worker is also one this women who worships her husband and does every around and outside the house! He does all the thinking for her,too! Now her husband isn't even looking for work! They are going to lose their house and are looking into filing for bankrutcy because my co-worker can't keep up supporting herself and her jerk husband! If I was her I wouldn't put up with the crap and dump this deadbeat! Believe me alot of women would do that! I can't see why someone can't see what is going on! It is a really sad situation!
6 people like this
14 responses
@gotetet (197)
• Philippines
17 May 09
well, its so sad to know about this man, i'm sorry to say that this man is stubborn, who doesn't like to work to make ends meet, i think he doesn't have the courage to do the thing for his family, is he too dependent to his parents before he was married? so to say, is he pampered so well that he doesn't like to work? or better still i think, he live a life so worthwhile before that he keeps it until this very end. Or maybe he has different points of view. For me, i think i can't take him for long, i'd rather return this man to her mother's skirt. besides he is living miserably now and he just doesn't want to do another move to keep their belongings intact. how could that be...no i don't need that kind of man, sorry to say that, but, i'd rather stay away and alone than living with him so miserable.
@ProudMommy22 (705)
• United States
17 May 09
He'd have to go for one if i could barely support myself then im not supporting someone else. However i have 2 children which i support by myself as it is so no i would not support no man that was to lazy to look for a job or get a job. But i dont think there is a such thing as a perfect job sometimes we have to swallow our pride and take a job we really dont want to take to make ends me. So he'd have to go and find someone else to get over on.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
18 May 09
I don't think this guy will ever swallow his pride! He's to much of an arrogant jerk! They have two kids. One is living with his girlfriend and is the smart one! He's like20. His sister is 25 works but can't afford to move out if she wanted to! When she isn't working she sits on her butt and doesn't do anything or help out in any other way! She is s receptionist. She went to college for 4 and a half years and got a teaching degree. When she graduated she said she didn't want to teach and probaly never will! She is just like her father!
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
17 May 09
I really don't stick my nose into other people's business and I know nothing of their situation that I would not be able to discuss it intelligently. There is just too many things we do not know about. Live and let live. Cheers!!
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
18 May 09
Where I work I know WAY TO MUCH STUFF I WISH I NEVER KNEW! The people I work with,at least most of them, will tell you everything and anything! They don't care what you hear and besided this I have heard the good the bad and the really ugly stuff most people wouldn't dare tell anyone! I know some of this people don't care and some want sympathy! When it comes to me I try to keep most of my problems,my past,my thought and other stuff to myself! I won't stupe to their level!
@lazeebee (5461)
• Malaysia
17 May 09
Hi, like you said, she worships her husband, so he's twisting her around his little finger. It's never his fault; always the government, employer, colleague - everyone's fault. You can't do much, so don't waste too much time and sympathy. Same with one of my colleagues - most of us know that her husband's lying to her about almost everything. She worships him, believes him, and finds excuses for his anything he does wrong. She goes out of her way to tell us how great and clever he is. He sure is smart, manipulating her and leading her to believe that she's the one in control! 
. So let these people be - they're happy in their little worlds!
. So let these people be - they're happy in their little worlds!@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
18 May 09
You are right! It is never his fault! It is everyones elses fault!
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
17 May 09
Would you stay with this man?
Well hello there blue65packer, how r u doing today? Well let me tell you something, you know, marriage is a funny thing. Sometimes there are bonds that are formed that few people are even aware of. So with having said that she is probably just staying with this deadbeat of a man only until she is able to do better for herself. Then she will probably cut the cord. Then again if he's giving her some really good loving. She might just continue to hang on to him. So I think that should give you a pretty good idea about some of those bonds that are being formed between the married couple. Not you ask if I would stay with him, my answer would be no. Simply because I wasn't raised like that. Back when I cam along, the man took care of the woman but things seems to be slowly changing these days. HOpefully one day women will wise up and realize that if the man can't do nothing but give them alittle loving then he's not much use to us. Because the loving part we can get from just about anywhere. But than again old girl might have a really low self esteem b/c some men are really good at trying to pull a woman down....... Who can say what all is really going on behind closed doors
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Well hello there blue65packer, how r u doing today? Well let me tell you something, you know, marriage is a funny thing. Sometimes there are bonds that are formed that few people are even aware of. So with having said that she is probably just staying with this deadbeat of a man only until she is able to do better for herself. Then she will probably cut the cord. Then again if he's giving her some really good loving. She might just continue to hang on to him. So I think that should give you a pretty good idea about some of those bonds that are being formed between the married couple. Not you ask if I would stay with him, my answer would be no. Simply because I wasn't raised like that. Back when I cam along, the man took care of the woman but things seems to be slowly changing these days. HOpefully one day women will wise up and realize that if the man can't do nothing but give them alittle loving then he's not much use to us. Because the loving part we can get from just about anywhere. But than again old girl might have a really low self esteem b/c some men are really good at trying to pull a woman down....... Who can say what all is really going on behind closed doors?@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
18 May 09
This is one of the many reasons I will never have a relationship again as long as I live! I see way to many bad marriages!
@Maryam27 (411)
• Pakistan
17 May 09
Well honestly, only that woman knows why she is tolerating all this. Maybe he is nice to her in other ways, I mean there should be something worth taking all the pain for it. How can we say that she shouldn't be living with him... I know it's irritating and you are her friend so you would definitely feel bad for her. But try to listen to her reason, maybe she has some valid reasons or it's just the love for her husband.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
18 May 09
I think she stays with him is she wouldn't know what to do with herself if she was on her own which would be a good thing!
@jbrooks0127 (2324)
• United States
17 May 09
You are right this man will keep on useing her just as long as she lets him. No question she needs to bail out if only to protect herself.
The kind of stress he puts on her sooner or later may get her fired and they both will go down with the ship. It is sad that there are times we can't see the forest for the trees.
It is one thing for a man to get laid off and then have a difficult time finding a job, especially right now. But for him to quit because it is too much like work and is tying him down, those are my words not yours, is inexcusable. Even in today's work environment there is work but you can't be choosy. He should be doing what he can until whatever he wants to do comes along. I personally can't imagine ever feeling right about what he is doing. If he were half the man he should be he would be doing all he can to take care of her not the other way around.
There are a lot of women that put up with this because in their own mind they just can't run out on him. They married for better or worse so somehow it will all work out. Not in this case. She had better wake up because sooner or later he will take her down with him. It sounds like he is working pretty hard on that.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
18 May 09
I hope she wakes up soon! With her husand,any job that he isn't for him is beneath him! He even puts down the place she I and work at! This guy is so full of it!
@ILANEDRI19 (278)
• Israel
17 May 09
I can't understand him either. How can a person be so blind, and ruin his life and his wife life ? Does he wants his relationship with her to end ?
If I was his friend, I would probably give him a big slap as a waking call. This guy needs to open his eyes, and to find a job quick!
@srganesh (6340)
• India
17 May 09
Well,your friend has to decide in this situation.More women think of their husbands to be a moral support at least,even if they are not capable to earn a handsome income.Also,some care for the society and some take them for love.In either case,it is really hard for the woman to decide.
@Frederick42 (2024)
• Canada
17 May 09
If I was a woman, I would not stay with this man. I am not interested in staying with a fellow who is so lazy. I always avoid lazy people. Maybe this woman is still staying with that man because she is madly in love with him. Infatuated love does not allow people to see reason.
@fishkingback (430)
• China
17 May 09
If this is true ,I think the man is really useless,as a man,I am ashamed of him.If I am a womoan ,I wouldn't stand it too.I really look down upon such man.As a real man ,they should take the responsibility of making the family better,not nothing .If he is still like this,then dump him without question .
@UncleSamPatriot (20)
• Finland
17 May 09
No, divorce is not a great option. Things can be worked out. After all he has not cheated her, just been a bum, which is not a right thing to do but responding evil to bad causes just more sadness.
"Mt 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."
@abkinsey (173)
• United States
17 May 09
Relationships that are worth anything have to be based on respect and communication. If he is being careless and rude, then she deserves better. Period. The thing that bothers me the most about her situation is the lying. Nobody deserves to be lied to, especially over stuff like that which is so major. If he is not willing to go to counseling to work through this stuff with her, then she owes it to herself to move on.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
18 May 09
This couple will never go to counseling! As long as he tells her what to do,it isn't happening! Period!
@juliani (7)
• United States
17 May 09
hmmm.. do they have kids? that's the only thing I would think of that would keep her tied to him.
I also think people end up lowering their standards for how they expect to be treated as they get older. you start getting crow's feet around your eyes and every time you look in the mirror you think about how even if you did leave your deadbeat significant other, you wouldn't manage to catch any of those other fish in the sea!
and (from personal experience, unfortunately) I know that if you're with someone for a long time you can't really imagine your life without them. that person becomes a huge part of your life and you feel as if you couldn't manage to live without them. I felt that way about my ex and now we're getting a divorce!
