are children really obliged to catch the parents' obligations towards siblings?
May 18, 2009 8:40am CST
a friend of mine said that this topic would hurt a lot of parents here in my lot especially for those who will be really hit upon. this is about the rampant situation that i myself cannot stand anymore. upon hearing a lot of stories from people and some experiences of mine, i feel there is a need for this issue to be talked about. it would be now or never. i firmly believe that we parents are totally and absolutely responsible for all our children's need. it means the physical, emotional and financial needs.since we can't choose the parents that we can have, it seems that we are left with no choice but to accept that only the Divine Providence has something to with this. Biblically speaking parents should carry solely the responsibility for children. what happens now in some areas is that they have this habit and thinking that children do also have responsibilities and OBLIGATION to their other siblings especially in terms of financial matters. i had a friend talking about his problem of raising 2 of his siblings. he was told to do that by his parents because the family is big.to make the story short, it seems that when we are young, our parents nurture us.when our parents grow old, we sustain them, and when they reproduce more, we as co siblings should carry too the obligations that are supposed to be for the parents alone. as much as i want to comment more, but my chest begins to feel pain and sympathy to these children who experienced this.what's your side on this issue?
• United States
20 May 09
I think that it is unfair for parents to expect such thing from their children. On the other hand I am a mother of 6. My oldest is 20 and my youngest is 6. We have discussed if something happened to both my husband and I it would fall on him to Find the appropriate person's to raise the younger children. I know that some people would think that we should plan in advance for such disasters but in our family we have found that as children grow and personalities develop we could be choosing the wrong place for our children. My oldest knows that it is not expected for him to raise the younger ones just to make sure that they are well cared for. As a sister, I would do anything in my power to help my siblings that is my personality. I know that not all of my siblings feel the same way and that is okay. I still love them for who they are. I guess the bottom line is when something is expected of us it is harder to agree to it than if it comes purely out of love for the other person. Do you agree?
21 May 09
yeah, mother always knows best. as responsible parents, we should attend to the needs of our parents especially if there are many of them. if the situation asks everyone to cooperate in terms of financial matters, let also the children be aware of it.
18 May 09
for me as the eldest sibling.. i don't think i should carry the obligations of my parents because it's their obligations of having siblings.. Parents should be responsible for whatever their siblings need, whether in financial, emotional, educational and other aspects in life.. Parents will always be our parents no matter how old we are and we are always their siblings.. Parent's main responsiblity is that to lead their siblings into a path in which they can live their own lives.. I think all parents wish that.. I remember my father saying, "When you enroll at PNPA(Philippine National Police Academy) and you passed, don't bother to think about our financial problems here.. We're the one responsible to all your needs and i don't like to pass any of obligations to you.." I am not obliged to do it but i will.. As a show of giving back to what they've done for me..
• United States
18 May 09
I am in the US and so our cultures are different. I have never been in the position to take care of my siblings financially, but I do have a sister that is in that position. She has co-signed loans for my other sister and I but she was never pressured by our parents to do so. She also made it very clear that we were to make the payments or repay her on a timely and schedualled manner. The only obligation that my sisters and I were raised with toward each other was to help if we could, and always be there for each other emotionally. I would readdily help my sisters but we are all adults and I am not going to take care of them because they are both capable of working and doing for themselves.