Have you ever been stood up by a friend?

@cream97 (29166)
United States
May 18, 2009 1:45pm CST
I have been stood up by a girl that goes to my church. I asked her Sunday about me using her car so that I could try for my road test in. And she told me yes. Well from that, the next week, we scheduled a time that she could meet me at the DMV. And, it was at one o'clock in the afternoon. I got there at 1:08 p.m. I thought that she had already came and left back out again. But she didn't even came there at all. So I waited until 1:50 p.m. She never showed up. So, I called her at six that evening and she finally picked up her cell phone. And she told me that she had to take her mom out. It seems that her mom wanted her to run her this place and that place. Her mom has her license, but her car is down at the moment. I thought that this was kind of off being that I just left her house at 11 that morning, asking her for this favor. Her mom was in another part of the house when me and her daughter was talking. And then when it was time for me to meet my friend, she all of a sudden did not show up. This is my first time asking her for any kind of favor. So, she told me on that day to call her back at 12:30 p.m on the next day and I did. And she never picked up her cell phone at all. So, I ran into her at Walmart Saturday. I asked her if she was still down with me using her car to try for my driver's license in. And she said that it was okay. She told me that she has to go to school on Monday and Wedenesday. She said that Tuesday was a good day, I told her, for me it was too. She told me to call her at nine Monday night. I will call her and if she does not answer her phone, I will leave her a voice mail. I hope that she will return my phone call back. I will give her until 11 a.m. on Tuesday morning to hear from her. If she does not call me back, then I will leave her alone for good. I have talked straight up with her about how I have not been hearing from her by phone. I asked her if everything was okay. I told her that I did not want to pressure her and bother her. I just get the feeling that something is not right here. I hate jumping to conclusions. When she pulled that stunt last week where I was waiting for her for almost 45 minutes. I had a bad feeling. I felt like she was trying to avoid me. And everytime that I call her she never picks up her cell phone, even when she tells me to call her. Why won't she just be honest with me? I wonder if there is a problem with me using her car to try for my driver's license in? This is a big goal for me, and I hate to see her avoiding me. I could never do her this way. I want an explanation. I am tired of being lied to. ****If she does not honor her word, then I will have to say that she really is not my "REAL" friend.
3 people like this
13 responses
• United States
18 May 09
Unfortunately, I got stood up all the time back in college. Even by my so-called best friend. Here's an example of one person who repeatedly stood me up. One girl, I knew since we were three years old. We had lost contact with each other for a long time until I happened to see her on Facebook. She later added me on Facebook and we got to talking. At some point we started talking about hanging out. We agreed to hang out one Friday afternoon. I was pretty excited about it all week. Then that Friday morning came and I saw a message on Facebook from her saying she had to cancel because she had to work or something. I said "okay sure" because it happens and we decided to hang out the following week. Next Friday came and once again, she wrote me saying she had to cancel because something came up. And once again, we put it off until the following Friday. And a third time, Friday came and she once again cancelled on me. Ultimately I just outright asked her if really wanted to hang out or not and if not to just tell me. She replied how she really did and she just didn't know what she would have to do until the day of blah blah blah. So I just told her when she got the chance to hang out, let me know. She said that she surely would. Three or four years later, I haven't heard from her since.
3 people like this
7 Jun 09
that's a really sad story! you deserve so much better than that!
1 person likes this
• China
19 May 09
Hi cream. I don't want to judge anyone I don't know,but in this case,I think she is not a good friend.Real friends should help each other whenever who is in need.If for some reason ,she couldn't do you the favor this time,then she really should give you a an explanation,not avioding.NO need to think of it anymore ,just be happy.
• Philippines
19 May 09
maybe everybody experience being stood up by friends, family, associates and people you first met.Me and my friends have this friend who always do that. I asked her to accompany me but im waiting for almost an hour she never even texted me or call me that she can't make it. everytime we will invite her, she will always tell us ok but she will not come. and what is so funny, she have a very valid reason. Everytime we have get together, one of her family will be hospitalised, either of operations or for check up.
3 people like this
19 May 09
Hi cream97, I think you have to find someone else as she id doing that to you to avoid you, I wouldn't bother with her anymore as she is not your real friend, sfriends don't do that to each other. Tamara
3 people like this
@pickoy (734)
• Philippines
19 May 09
Many time by the same person. I wish we're not talking about the same girl, lol. I have a bestfriend in highschool who has a habit of saying "yes," but she can't seem to do it and be true to her word. I'm used to it, its just her personality, it really has nothing to do with "avoiding you per se"... the worst incident happened years ago when we agreed to meet in the church so we could catch up with each other's lives... and this was after a number of times she canceled our scheduled meeting. At that time she was 30minutes late, I was waiting for her outside the church and then I found her inside the pavilion with a guy I never knew, but I assume it was her boyfriend. She never even cared that I was waiting outside and she was already there but she never told me... The mass has started, I ignored it, after a few minutes she asked if she could leave for a while coz she forgot something, and then she left and never came back! I was really hurt, so I came home crying and then late at night her brother came knocking at our gate asking me where she is, I was irritated that they even accused me for conspiring with her plan of leaving home coz she was pregnant. That really hurt, alot! She came home after a week but I feel really hurt that her family thought I was behind it. I've forgiven her, but she can no longer expect me to believe any word that she says...
2 people like this
@carpenter5 (6786)
• United States
19 May 09
I hate that this is happening to you. But, I will tell you that here in my state, you cannot use someone else's car to take a driver's test with most insurance companies. There are a few that will ocver you, but when we took our daughter in to take her gtest, there was a long list of insurance companies that said "If you have this insurance you must be on the insurance and have proof of such, in order to take your road test."
2 people like this
• United States
18 May 09
It could just be that she does not want you to use her car but don't know how to say no, however, I totally agree that if that is the case she should just be honest with you and say so and not jerk you around about it. I have been stood up by a friend before. I was supposed to meet one of my friends at her house on my birthday a few years back. We were going to meet at her house and then go out together. When I got to her house, she wasn't home. I figured that maybe she was running errands or something and was just running late. I waited and waited and waited for her then after a couple of hours I gave up and went home. The next day I got of hold of her and asked what happened. It turned out that she blew me off to go watch her husband paint her sister and law's bathroom! Well that wasn't the only time she did something messed up like that to me either, I don't speak to her any more. Anyway, if your friend stands you up again, I would advise that you ask her straight out if she just doesn't want you to use her car for some reason and is afraid to tell you. Be honest and tell her exactly how you feel and that if she just is not comfortable with you using her car that she should be upfront enough to just be honest and tell you so. If she can not do that then she probably isn't a very nice friend and you probably deserve better. Wish ya luck!
2 people like this
@deejean06 (1953)
• United States
18 May 09
Hi cream...I have been stood up by a friend. I had a friend tell me that no matter what kind of relationship she was in, she never forgot her friends. However when we made plans to go out one evening, she didn't call and didn't show up. I later found out, days after the fact that her boyfriend had surprised her with a vacation and she "didn't have a chance to call". Not only did I not buy that story, but that ended our friendship. If I were you I would write this person off - she is not your friend if she cannot be open and honest with you. It's time to move on.
• India
30 May 09
Hello my friend cream97 Ji, "Have you ever been stood up by a friend?". I think, you are trying to ask, if my friend asked my help and I provided. Well I do not consider taht way. I think, my friend should have courage to criticise me and correct me. Lead me to right path, with selfless motto. I have to still find out, why at all we expect something in return. On 27th my son met with serious accident with his bike skidding between two running buses, sustaining serious injury. I was far away to reach to spot. But a friend of mine who came to know rushed to my son and provided all types of help. He remained in hospital round the clock with me just to boost my morale. Even after this much help, he never accepts from me. I consider thjis is good friendship. May God bless You and have a great time.
1 person likes this
@jheLaichie (4439)
• Philippines
24 May 09
a true and real friends are those people who are not afraid to tell you the bad in you and never had doubts to open up. someone who are always their for you in times of distress and problems. and they go straight to the point if they think or don't like the idea of anything and everything between your friendship. yes i have been stood up by my friend before but we still ended up friends because i really confronted her why she is doing it and i'm glad she told me the whole truth and we are both glad we talked it out right then and there. friendship is treasure hard to find and when found better hold on to it for life. happy mylotting
• Philippines
22 May 09
*sigh* i hate to say this but why am i having this feeling that she's having problem with you trying out on her car..forgive me for she's your friend but based on your discussion it seems to me that she has problems with trying out the car...se what reason could there be for her not to pick the phone up while she knew you are waiting,why not give you a call earlier than the meeting so you wont wait rather than to stood you up...i hope she will let you try out with her car..
1 person likes this
@chillpill90 (1937)
19 May 09
I have been stood up before and with me if i get stood up and the person doesnt even phone up to say they will be late then there not worth wasting time over and i dont consider them a friend. I think you should be realistic and it sounds like she just doesnt want to know so just forget about her and find a real friend.
1 person likes this
@rita111 (49)
• China
19 May 09
i can totally understand your situation coz i had similar experiences before. i feel so down and depressed when that guy stoop me up. i swear never to forgive him and do not trust him anymore.coz he is not a faithful guy.
1 person likes this