What is the primary ingredient of a successful marriage?

India
May 21, 2009 4:09am CST
Hi friends! what do you think is the primary element for a marriage to be alive always and be successful? What I feel is it is interest and trust which makes marriage or married life peaceful and happy, always. Even if it is not marriage , what is the element which makes any relationship successful and evergreen? Do share your views on this.
5 people like this
24 responses
@don_naces (464)
• Philippines
21 May 09
I believe that the primary ingredient of marriage is love between the husband and wife. If there is no love, marriage won't work. As what I have observed from my parents, they are really loving each other. That is the reason why they are more than 25 years of having happy marriage life. Sad to know that there are couples who don't have a happy marriage life. It's is because they are not contented with their partner. They looked for another one, two or three. It's a sort of lust. Or maybe they marry each other because of money. Many people say that money matters a lot with regard to marriage decisions. I don't think so.
1 person likes this
• India
21 May 09
Love is essential, agreed, but besides love there is one more thing I think which is called as trust which keeps the marriage alive. right? If we see our parents and grand parents we can easily say that they had lots of trust and they always did stick to one point , not to leave his or her partner any time in their lives. May be this makes their marriage alive even after many years. thanks for mylotting
• Philippines
21 May 09
I think for a successful marriage, both man and woman should have an open communication with each other. They should not keep secrets from one another; I believe good communication breeds trust. Another thing is to accept the other person for what he or she is, accept the good and bad in each other.
1 person likes this
• India
21 May 09
Yes, that is essential and when one knows completely about his or her partner there is no scope for any kind of doubt. A positive approach and communication always keeps any relationship evergreen. thanks for mylotting.
• China
22 May 09
Trust is the basic element,howerever,interest tolerate and enjoy each other are key element to a successful marriage. Care nothing about what we can get from,and just pay more attention to what others feeling,will make relationship successful and evergreen. Hava a nice day!
• India
24 May 09
Yes dear, You are absolutely right. Not only that there are many things which make a successful marriage. Mainly, Never, ever bring up past mistakes in an argument. It only escalates the emotional warfare and distracts both people from the topic at hand.
• China
24 May 09
Each of us has one man or women who will stay with us for the whole life,this person will supporting you whatever pain,poor,discouraging or other unfortunate things,so when marriage in trouble,just think about this will help you forgive what you are arguing,and instead with how to overcome
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
21 May 09
Photo courtesy PDPhoto.org - Photo courtesy PDPhoto.org...wedding reception sign
Lots are talking about trust and sacrifices when it comes to successful marriage. I think these 2 keywords are of extreme importance to any marriages out there. I'm definitely not a pro on this because I'm not yet married but based from the general outlook, these are the 2 factors that I would want my future spouse to take note of. If any of this lacks, then the marriage is rather crippled in a way.
• India
22 May 09
We have to make conscious sacrifices. Let your “better half” choose the movie, the television show or the restaurant rather than always wanting to do it. Enjoy his or her pleasure. This can surely build a good relationship between husband and wife.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
22 May 09
It's something like give and take. I like that and hopefully my future spouse will be like that and I, too.
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
22 May 09
I think that to keep a marriage or any kind of relationship strong one must be trusting, loving, loyal, faithful and if they are religious they must be religious and stand by their beliefs and morals. I will never or hope I never have intentionally push religion on anyone, that's why I have mentioned it too much here, but those are my views on what makes a good relationship.
• India
24 May 09
Yes, I agree with what you said. Love,trust,care,time are all essential ingredients for a marriage.
@xiaoou (5)
• China
22 May 09
I think the primary ingredients of a successful marriage are communication and responsibility. Every couple will face difficulties. If they can communicate with each other,they can solve the problems more easily.The sense of responsibility is important too.It can remind the persons who have married that they need to take care of their families.
• India
24 May 09
Yes dear, apart from that there are other little things which can also make marriage successful, like Celebrating little occasions.Be willing and able to reassure your partner and be thoughtful of their concerns and worries.
@parthu28 (499)
• India
22 May 09
hey dear.i would completely agree with you.....trust is the most imp thing that makes a relationship peaceful and successful...... but along with that i would say trying to understand the partner and taking things in a positive way also matter....
• India
24 May 09
Yes, being positive is always required for any relationship to be successful apart from trust and commitment.
• Canada
22 May 09
I would have to say Trust and Commitment. I am currently in my first relationship and its going great. Interest is a big one when you are married. Being paranoid is normal, but it can destroy a relationship easily
• India
24 May 09
Yes, that is right! Apart from trust there are many other aspects which make a marriage successful. Say “thank you” for little things as well as big things sometimes. Praise your mate’s good qualities or something he or she has done for you to others. These little things also add up.
@Latrivia (2889)
• United States
22 May 09
Communication is the key, in my opinion. Without it, you can't have trust or understanding. I watched my parents marriage crumble during my childhood due to lack of communication. They're still married, but it's not much of a marriage. There's no love in it anymore, or none that I can see. My husband and I never run out of things to talk about. We constantly share ideas and opinions, and we always sit and talk things out during an argument. He'll chase me down and force me to talk if I decide I don't want to. Of course, our marriage is fairly new, so we'll see how our kind of marriage works for us.
• India
24 May 09
Yes, You are right! Not only trust, there must be communication between individuals. Allow yourself a sense of wonder in the little things and share them. Do you see a beautiful sunset while doing the dishes? Point it out to your spouse and share that brief moment of beauty.
• United States
22 May 09
Communication is the key. It keeps all the hard feelings away and makes sure their is never a large division. Everyone is saying trust....that seems really juvenile. Obviously there needs to be no infidelity, but I am not sure that I would list trust as leading to a successful marriage just a prevention of divorce.
• India
24 May 09
Communication and freedom ,I mean to say individual freedom is also necessary in marriage to make it successful. Marriage is a bond, but you should be on loose tethers – don’t hold on so tight that the other person feels smothered. If your spouse wants to go out and do some things without you, it’s not a reflection of the state of your relationship – he or she is simply being an independent individual.
• Philippines
22 May 09
i believe that being open to communication, being honest to your partner, trusting each other is the key to success in relationship. Communication - so you can talk to him your feelings whether its love, anger, jealousy, doubts. Just be open about your feelings. Honesty - when you tell him/her you thoughts, it shoud be true, no lies. Trust - believing in his/her words, trust that you love each other and whatever obstacles will come, your relatiohsip will be stronger more and more everyday.
• India
22 May 09
Yes, there are many things like respect,love ,care,time,understanding which enhance the relationship of marriage and make it successful. thanks for your response.
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
21 May 09
for me, it is TRUST like you say in your post... TRUST is a big issue for me and if my TRUST has been betrayed by anybody, it will be very hard for me to ever trust the person again... and i know that trust doesn't come easily just like that but have to be earned... take care and have a nice day...
• India
22 May 09
It is the same with me too. Any relationship goes well for me only and only with trust, but when once it is broken, I can never ever have trust again on the specific person. thanks for your response.
• United States
21 May 09
well I agree with u 100% for me in order for any relationship to work the most important thing is to trust each other, since trust is the basic thing in a relation you can't love or be happy if you dont trust the person ur with ;)
• India
22 May 09
If you have no trust or no interest in the other person you can't even love them obviously. thanks for your response.
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
21 May 09
They longer the marriage the less interests and such matter. More so if kids are around. After a while you may be living different lives while sharing one. BUT it can still be a good marriage because you can talk about things... Sharing. You join forces to raise the kids... Sharing. You both have your jobs to do that will hold the household together... Sharing. There is love.... sharing. As long as your lives are shared together you will have a good marriage.
• India
22 May 09
Celebrate little occasions. Most couples will go out for dinner and celebrate a promotion or anniversary, but those can be few. Instead, make a pledge to celebrate events like finishing a project on time at work or the day you finish your last “thank you” note. By making small moments special, you’ll make the days an adventure.
@maybebaby (1231)
• Canada
21 May 09
I think one of the main components of any successful relationship is respect. If you respect someone everything else comes naturally. Honesty, trust, love and devotion all come out of respect.
• India
22 May 09
Yes, respect is one thing which can keep any relationship evergreen. We must give right amount of respect for people in any relationship. So is with marriage. thanks for your response.
@madhu_yl (116)
• India
21 May 09
Hi gayathri, I am not married,but in my opinion men and woman share their love and happiness to each other. don't show their ego in their marriage life.if once the ego problem starts they spoil their married life and spoil their love also.both are mutually understand their feelings and both are give respect their feelings.
• India
22 May 09
Hi dear, we can learn and apply enduring life lessons such as responsibility, respect, and fairness in marriage apart from love and understanding. all these things make marriage life very happy and long lasting.
@bunzor (303)
21 May 09
Trust for sure. Without trust you have nothing. There are other elements that I think are really important, but to me trust is the main thing.
• India
22 May 09
Yes, marriage is a bond which is based on trust. If there is no trust there is no relationship, or even if it is there, it is not lively. thanks for your response.
@bbsr13 (4198)
• India
21 May 09
Hello,Gayathri! For a successful and happy married life proper understanding and sacrifice between the couples is essential.thanx.
• India
22 May 09
Yes dear, understanding positively helps any relationship to go on smoothly. thanks for your response.
@mentalward (14695)
• United States
21 May 09
I honestly don't know. I've yet to be in a successful marriage! I THINK the most important ingredient would be friendship. Being best friends with your spouse also entails love, even if it's not a physical love but, if best friends get married, there usually is a desire for physical love. It also entails caring, trust, respect, etc. You must have things you like doing together. If you're not friends with your spouse, chances are you have nothing in common and there's very little to share with each other. But, if you and your spouse love doing a lot of the same things, you're more likely to do them together, building an even stronger bond as time goes by. I THOUGHT I was best friends with my husband but he has really warped ideas about 'family' and 'responsibility', which I didn't find out about until after we were married. He has some serious emotional issues that need to be addressed before we can be happy together. So, I really do think that friendship is the most important ingredient that binds us together in a successful marriage.
• India
22 May 09
Yes, marriage is all about love and friendship with trust and understanding. Major decisions must be made as a couple and not individually. Thanks for your response.
@joanzz (175)
• Philippines
21 May 09
Hi gayathrigs.. I have some secrets of a successful marriage here in my book. First is "love yourself" Of course, self-love can be sinful. It is wrong when it results in the replacement of God, causing us to love self more than we love God. But what does that have to do with a happy marriage? How does self-worth affect my love affair? It does so in at least three ways. First, if you do not love yourself, you make yourself unlovable. In other words, you make it difficult for somebody to love you. Second, If you do not have love for yourself, it is difficult for you to give love to somebody else, for you cannot share what you do not have. Third, if you do not love yourself, It is difficult for you to accept the idea that somebody really loves you. Now, when one has a healthy love for one's self, then one can proceed to the love one's partner. You must love your partner than yourself. Because your spouse is your other self! At the marriage altar, you take unto yourself a second self! This other self is to be loved and cherished as your first self.So, when you look at your partner, You are staring to your other self. And you should treat her/him as such. To love your partner as yourself means that you are willing to satisfy your spouse's desires as much as you are willing to gratify your own. We come now to the last secret. This is the most important ingredient of successful marriage,"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind".
• India
22 May 09
First we need to love ourselves and only then can we love others. Marriage requires trust, love,care,time for each other. It is a very holy union of two individuals. thanks for your response.