How are you?

@raclie (1732)
Singapore
May 21, 2009 9:49am CST
Don’t you hate people asking this question? I do. I wonder, do they really want to know how am I doing? Or do they just want a polite I’m fine, thanks, how about yourself? When your really hurting inside, when even smiling brings an added burden to the already heavy weight to your mind. You try to increase the voltage of your mega-watt smile, but none of that even bring a shadow of twinkle that use to reside there. how are you supposed to answer that question when all they expect is a:"i'm fine, thank you!"?
1 person likes this
13 responses
@xParanoiax (6999)
• United States
22 May 09
I don't hate it. I realize that not everyone who asks it actually cares, but it doesn't affect my reaction. I always answer truthfully. Whether or not I actually give full details of why my simple answer is what it is, depends whether or not I think they care or want to know. ..._ I try to be logical, most of the time.
• Philippines
22 May 09
u know im happy when i heard people or my friends great me '' hi hello how are?''coz they will respecting them for me ,u know that kind of people is have a good behavior coz some of people are not using that greetings so how are you??????????we thankful that kind of people that a good........
@mariposaman (2967)
• Canada
22 May 09
It totally annoys me. I am not well a lot of the time and I occasionally do the fine thankyou answer. A lot of the time I say, How am I? do you want the long list or the short version? That at least is a bit humorous. Sometimes I say I am depressed which does not get a good reception, I think they might be envisioning me going off the deep end and taking them and all around in a shooting frenzy massacre. It annoys me on the radio when I listen to call in shows which I do often, and the caller starts off with, "Hi, how are you?" and then waits for an answer. After about a dozen or so "Hi, how are you?" I start yelling at the radio, he is fine fine fine get on with it. He has already said he was fine a dozen times already, and if he was sick, he would not be at the radio studio.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
22 May 09
i know a lot of people asking me this kind of question and i don't expect them to believe that i'm fine... i am very much aware that they were aware that i live a very boring life and for my 19 years of existing, i have never felt that my life have been very exciting... :(
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
22 May 09
i know a lot of people asking me this question over and over again... i don't think they expect me to answer "i'm fine, thank you!" because they knew that my life is very much boring and i don't think that i've observed any changes that could really make my life exciting....
@soumeshp (103)
• Australia
22 May 09
Perhaps that is an ambiguous phrase, but it is one of most useful phrases in social etiquette. This is such an open question that enables a variety of conversation openers based on your two respective moods. The person you are asking this might smile a bit exaggeratedly and say fine before looking away, which means they aren't interested in talking or awkward about it. Or they could respond belligerently, which says much about their personality and relationship toward you. Or on a positive note, they might have some interesting experience or notion in mind relating to their emotional state they would like to discuss. Personally, I don't there isn't a better generic conversation opener.
@maximax8 (28490)
• United Kingdom
21 May 09
I am learning Spanish and in my class we had to ask in that language "How are you". The replies were "fine" or "excellent". Nobody said "terrible". In my home country I reply "I am fine thank you. How are you?" Sometimes I think the person is just being polite and has little interest how I am. I think one person smiles and then it spreads to more faces. Tonight I am happy to have had a phone call from a friend that it was great to hear from. I have had a busy day so I feel a bit tired.
• United States
21 May 09
Well sometimes that question does get on my nerves. When its my family asking me how Im doing I usually tell them how I really am good or bad. When its just some random person that comes into my office or a client calling and asking I usually just give the general answer.
• United States
21 May 09
What I have come to realize is that people ask AND respond to this question out of habit. Pay attention over the next few days at how the actual exchange goes. When they ask, respond and return the question. HOW ARE YOU? You'd be amazed how many people will say fine .. or ok, then proceed to ASK YOU AGAIN How your are doing..lol.. I noticed this while back when I working in customer service. I now have a routine response to the question. I smile and say "Well, I'm alive.. guess that beats the alternative!" lol.. it throws people off a bit, but it gives no real information pertaining to HOW I AM DOING, so if they really want to know they'll have to put forth some effort. Besos, Iedyn
@mentalward (14695)
• United States
21 May 09
I've often thought about this same thing. People ask it all the time without thinking. Most don't REALLY want to know how you are, they're just being polite. I've come up with a response to that question that satisfies them and me. I don't lie and say I'm fine, thanks. But, I don't go into detail, either. I simply say, "You don't want to know" and leave it at that. Usually, the person asking how I am won't say that they do want to know. They just look at me a little puzzled for a second or two, then go on about their business. It works for everyone!
• United States
21 May 09
I think their are a few that are genuine but most, I believe, are just being polite. I'm not a people person so I tend to stay away from people as much as possible.. but when I have to encounter them and they ask me how I'm doing I just answer with.. "breathing" and usually thats the end of it.
• Malaysia
21 May 09
i have the same opinion as you.i don't really like people asking me that question because most of us expected to answer it by saying i am fine,thank you.people just like to ask that question for showing polite manness and also to start a conversation topic which that is actually provides the begin to a deeper part of conversation
• United States
21 May 09
I always honor this question truthfully. I never say 'Im fine, thanks.' I always keep my answer short, but honest. The fact that I dont just do it to be polite has made me many friends. Many people remember me because I actually talk to them. I listen to their answer. I tell them a little bit about my day. The question can be annoying if all you ever do is give the 'polite' response. Try things like 'hopefully tomorrow will be better' or 'it could be worse'. You would be surprised at how many people actually will start a conversation because of that!