Some people say they live there life without regret is that really possible?

@apples99 (6564)
United States
May 21, 2009 10:12pm CST
To go through life totally and completely without regret is that honestly possible? becuse to live without feeling the slightest bit of regret dosent seem possible and true to self to me. its kind of like saying that you never made mistakes in your life, or at least thats what a life with no regret implies, we learn through our mistakes but how can we learn if we refuse to acknowledge that we've even made a mistake becuse when we look back on things we've done that may have lead us astray in our lives dont we wish that those things had been different or wish we had known better, to me thats a form of regret. Now the important thing to me is not to dwell in the land of regret, but instead view life as it really is a series of good events and bad events and learn from all of experience's I have, and view them in a honest way becuse how can we learn if we choose not to look at moments in our lives truthfully, and I'm not gonna lie and say I dont feel regret sometimes, but like I said I never dwell in those feelings. Regret is an intelligent(and/or emotion)a dislike for personal past acts and behavior's
3 people like this
12 responses
• United States
22 May 09
You said regret is "an intelligent (and/or emotion) [?] a dislike for personal past acts and behaviors." I believe that's the Wikipedia definition. The Collaborative International Dictionary of English v.0.44 defines regret as "pain of mind on account of something done or experienced in the past, with a wish that it had been different; a looking back with dissatisfaction or longing; grief; sorrow; especially, a mourning on account of the loss of some joy, advantage, or satisfaction." With this definition, I can honestly say I believe a life without regret is not only possible, but advisable. I've made unwise choices in the past, but I certainly don't regret them, and if I had a chance to go back, I doubt I'd change them. Without those choices I wouldn't be the person I am today, and I certainly wouldn't have the family I have now. So I'm one of those people who live without regret. Though I do look back and shake my head at some of the things I've done. But I don't mourn them, I appreciate the lessons I've learned from them.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
22 May 09
I can honestly say I believe a life without regret is not only possible, but advisable. I've made unwise choices in the past, but I certainly don't regret them, and if I had a chance to go back, I doubt I'd change them. Without those choices I wouldn't be the person I am today, and I certainly wouldn't have the family I have now. So I'm one of those people who live without regret. Though I do look back and shake my head at some of the things I've done. But I don't mourn them, I appreciate the lessons I've learned from them. I feel the same way. I wouldn't want to change anything, not looking back. I mean I can always wonder 'what if' but what good does that do me? Life happens, and if you aren't there in the present to enjoy the journey, suddenly the journey might end without you having enjoyed any of the experiences!
• United States
23 May 09
Exactly! It's one of those "everybody screws up sometime" things, but it all ends up being positive depending on what you take away from it. For example, I had my first child while I was a teenager. That could be looked at as a bad thing (because of stress, finances, responsibility, lack of a social life) or you can look at it how it is, as a positive turning point creating an opportunity to mature and grow more quickly than if I hadn't had my son. Your perspective creates your reality.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
23 May 09
What an excellent comment! 'Your perception creates your reality'! That's why it's so important to try and look for the positive in things that may not be necessarily good because it's all in how you look at it.
@xParanoiax (6998)
• United States
22 May 09
No. It's not like saying you never made mistakes and never did bad things. Here's the definition of regret as I know it; To repent: feel remorse for; feel sorry for; be contrite about. To eternally regret means to hold onto your mistakes and ill deeds, and (probably) do nothing about it, thinking that the fact that you're sorry's enough.. To live without regret, when done properly, is to make good on your mistakes and ill actions, and accept the fact that you're human and flawed. At least, to me, its about responsibility for oneself without being entirely and thoroughly negative or self loathing. I don't believe in wishing that I'd done things differently, because usually you can't change it...so wishing is a waste of time and reason. Even if time travel existed, I wouldn't go back and change anything. I'm not saying I haven't had horrible things happen and haven't gone through horrible things, because I have...I'm just saying that I've accepted my responsibility for them and made amends the best I can. I suppose you could say I have a code of honor, in a sense. I know when I'm indebted to someone or a situation, and I know when someone owes me a debt as well (though, since I'm too nice for my own good, I usually call it square with those who've wroned me if they leave my life). Life is and never will be all good or all bad. To try to make it otherwise is foolhardy and a bunch of illspent energy. It is what it is. The only thing you can control is your own actions. ^_^' I hope I don't sound too heavy and have explained this properly. I'm a person who lives with no regrets...and as you can tell, if there's one thing I take very seriously, it's responsibility.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
23 May 09
Well it appears that there are many definitions of regret, but I dont identify feeling regret as a feeling of shame, in fact the word regret to me in my since of the word, is simply acknowledging ones past rather its a good or good or bad, and learning from them, I dont feel shame, but I do sometimes look back at my past and regret that certain things happened the way that they did, but then I move on, I never dwell in the past or in regret, and understand that those feelings are a natural and part of life and learning, besides how can we learn if we cant feel a since of regret from time to time, so that we do not repeat our paste mistakes or moments in our lives that made us unhappy. My point is I think that having occasional feelings of regret is a natural part of life and learning to me regret is not necessarily a bad emotion, its only bad if you handle it in the wrong way, in my opinion. though you do have many good points and I really aprecate you posting your honest view on this topic.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
23 May 09
Well regret isn't really a feeling of shame to me either, but it would be a feeling of being sorry that perhaps you hadn't made a different decision. One should not live in a state of always being sorry that they hadn't made a decision they wanted to make, especially if it was because of other people.... Living without regret means you that are not sorry for decisions you made in the past, even if they were not the BEST decision or if they turned out well.. not the way you wanted or expected.
@harryt123 (327)
• United States
22 May 09
I do believe that life is a learning experience. For everything whether it is good or bad we learn and from our mistakes that we make we learn from them and these are things that we do not make again or do differently when in the same situation. Living without regrets and living life to the fullest is a great way to enjoy life and make sure to get the most potential out of the efforts that we have put in whether it be in our personal or professional lives. The secret is not to dwell on things such as mistakes, regrets or any bad negative feelings because life is too short.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
22 May 09
Yes your totally right I have similar views of life and completely understand where your coming from, I never dwell in regret I simply choose to accept my past mistakes and learn from them and move forward to feel a little regret is a normal human emotion and its only negative if we dwell in it.
• Australia
23 May 09
i think you answered your own question everyone feels regret, i think its just a natural human emotion, no one can stop themselevs feeling it BUT, the people who live life without regret, are the ones who say "no, its done, its over, ill learn, ill live" as you said you do people who live life with regret hold onto it, always wishing they could go back and change something, they are the ones who hold onto that regret so yes, i beleive it is humanly possible to live without harbouring feeling of regret all through your life :)
@Benzooo (64)
• Guam
22 May 09
Time changes everything.
• United States
22 May 09
I have lots of regrets that I wish I could do over or never have done period. But I believe you learn through your mistakes, and what was done was suppose to be. I dont think anyone should dwell on thier past mistakes, but learn from them. Some believe why regret anything you done when you were doing it seem find. I kind of understand that way of thinking to. But me personally I wish I could turn back the hands of time. But I dont dwell on it!
• Philippines
22 May 09
Life is a continuous learning. We encounter different activities, situations, challenges, problems and many more reasons to live. God give all these to let us realized how important He is in our lives. Let's appreciate everything He gave to us because we could learn so much from these, either bad or good. There's always a reason for every actions we did. But be responsible to handle everything. Whatever the outcomes of our plans and actions, this reflects the person itself. To avoid regrets, think many times and plan before making any decisions. Good day!
• Philippines
22 May 09
No, except to those who rather choose to forget that there regrets and moved on with their lives.in my experience i admit i have so many regrets that if i show it to the world it will be a hit just like the video scandals that are in today. but I am lucky that after all that i still have my hubby with me.I don't believe those people that has no regrets, there just in the state of Denial.
• India
22 May 09
dear we can't predict anyone's life..might be the people saying they there life is regret less are more courageous than us..else they are lying ..or might be there attitude towards life is always positive so they want to remember only good things in life..because this is not possible a person;s life is always joyful..but ya there is possibility that each person can convert difficulty into opportunity ..
@lelin1123 (15643)
• Puerto Rico
22 May 09
I can't imagine that anyone on this earth has lived their life without some kind of regret, whether big or small. Each one of us has to have some type of regret. Not that we have to dwell on it. I have a regret that I moved from NY to NM. I thought I was going to be very happy here. After two years and now being out of a job for a year I'm regretting it. I won't dwell in it I will just try to fix the problem. To me regrets are a part of life.
@phyrre (2324)
• United States
22 May 09
You bring up a very good point here. I say that I live my life with no regrets, but that's not completely accurate. By saying I "live with no regrets" I don't mean to say that I have never regretted anything in my life, but I mean that I move past them and don't dwell in regret. I completely agree that it is healthy to have some amount of regret. It helps us learn from situations and helps us move forward to become better people and learn from mistakes. However, dwelling in regret definitely is not healthy either. So when I say that I live with no regrets what I really mean is that I might regret things for a short time, but then I let them go. :) I guess I should be more clear when saying things like that, huh?
• United States
22 May 09
That is a good defenition about regret and also I like the way you think. And I don't think its possible to live with out a single regret because most of us regret things every day. You may regret taking the freway on pick hours or for buying something that you don't really need etc. There are so many regrets that we may have even if they are small or big but we all have them. I personally think that we should not be hard on our self when we regret something small but we should try our best to not regret something big. And to me big is cheating on your partner or not helping a close friend or something that will actually harm some one. I also think that we should live our life as what it is the only life that we have and love our self and love a care for others.