Do I Scare Men????

United States
May 21, 2009 10:39pm CST
Well, I'm quite the flirt with the men I work with and/or some of the regular truck drivers that come in at work. Most of the time, I mean nothing by my flirting, it's just a way to make the day go by faster and a good way to make a man smile and thus, makes me smile in return. Well, I've post awhile back about the FedEx driver that I had a crush on. Well, yeah, I still like him, but I'm not as into him as I once was. I just look at it like we are friendly and we can joke and play around and it's all good, I don't expect anything in return, it's just all for fun. Well, today, he came in and he headed straight for me and gave me a big old hug. He hasn't done this in awhile and it totally surprised me, I wasn't sure what had gotten into him, but it was nice. After he did it, I told him thanks and asked him if he was ready for what I had to give him and he said, "Well, I don't want it right here". I said, "Okay, I will be over tonight then to give it to you" and we both laughed. We kept joking around like this and then he said, "You scare me" and he laughed. One of my co-workers said, "Dang man, you act like you are married or something, you aren't so what do you have to be scared of?". The FedEx guy just smiled. I know he was just joking about being scared of me, or atleast I hope he was. What do you think? Do you think he is or isn't? Do you think I'm the type of woman that men are scared of?
8 people like this
24 responses
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
26 May 09
You know me..I am very honest and would never mislead you on purpose. In this case..there are a lot more things to consider. You have really liked this Fedex guy for sometime. You are a strong and independant woman...That's a wonderful trait! BUT....lol...there is always a BUT...if you are acting "flirty" with him...he is maybe wondering how many more you are acting that way towards..now this is in reference to a man you are interested in..men often like the thrill of the chase..chasing them can be a turn off in a lot of ways. Being independant is attractive and worthy of everyones respect..but don't throw yourself out there. He is maybe wondering if he's just one of many more..that is nowhere near as attractive as your independence. He doesn't know you...and can't be sure. You know how it is...he might be wondering too.
2 people like this
• United States
26 May 09
Thank you for your honesty, you know I always appreciate it from you, Jen! A few weeks ago, I got to spend a big part of my day with him. His friend (my co-worker) was in a horrible car accident and was going to have to move the weekend after his accident. Now he was so banged up that he could barely walk and he was TOTALLY in no condition to be moving, so a couple of the men I work with, myself and the FedEx guy got together that weekend and got him moved. It was actually a pretty nice day, now he didn't talk to me much but I didn't really pay it no mind because I wasn't there for him, I was there to help out a friend in his time of need. Now, one of my co-workers who is always hitting on me told him that I wouldn't give him (my co-worker) the time of day because of him (the fedex guy). Well, the fedex guy told him that he couldn't help it that he had more class than my co-worker. It was kind of funny, but I wasn't really intending on my "crush" to get brought into the day. I did however get to show him my "dummy" side. I couldn't figure out how to open my co-workers truck door so the fedex guy came over and opened it for me then shut it after I got in the truck. I thought it was nice of him, but I still felt like an idiot for not knowing how to open the door. Oh well, you win some, you lose some!
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
26 May 09
LOL..good for you. Maybe he has things going on with him that keppes him back. I know you are a great person but he seems to be standoffish. Maybe this is all his problem.
2 people like this
@xannebull (1806)
• Philippines
23 May 09
i think that the guy likes you also. i think he is not literally scared of you. for me, he is just scared of the feelings he felt about you, like being in love with you, is he still single? or has he had another woman he's dating with? if yes, then he's scared of falling for you because it makes it more complicated for the both of you. you seem to be a nice person, and no one should be scared on you..
2 people like this
• United States
26 May 09
I heard a couple months ago that he started seeing someone, whether or not he still is, I don't know. I'm not really that worried about it though. I personally don't think that he is falling for me or scared that he would fall for me, I don't know, I personally just don't think that I'm his type and that he isn't physically attracted to me. I however do feel that he does like me, as a friend and that is. I'm happy with that, I love having friends and the more friends you have, the better.
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (11008)
• United States
3 Jun 09
I think some men love an agressive woman, and some men are frightened by them. Some men like it and are flattered. Some don't know what to think about it, and may think that they don't want to be with a woman who flirts so much because she will flirt with other men when she is with him. So you may scare some men, but there will be other men that love it. You just have to find one that loves it.
2 people like this
@glords (2615)
• United States
3 Jun 09
If you don't have feelings for him anymore you should probably stop flirting with him. It sounds like he really likes you and if you keep it up, well, you both might get hurt. i'm sure it was a joke, and he would feel like a total jerk if he knew that you thought twice about it. Its nice that you two have such a great banter going... too bad you are over him.
2 people like this
@camomom (7536)
• United States
3 Jun 09
I don't know because I don't know you personally. I think it was just a joke though.
2 people like this
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
25 May 09
Maybe not scare him in the way some might think but maybe in the way he feels for you. Maybe his feelings scare him more. He hugged you without you instigating it? that is totally awesome..Maybe there is hope yet?
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (50134)
• United States
23 May 09
Hmmm...I don't know. Some guys appreciate an up front woman, some guys may prefer to do the "chasing." Personally, they have it better when the woman is up front like you. It saves them the worry of knowing whether you're interested or not. Isn't that what guys complain about? Women not saying what they want or feel? Well, then men should appreciate that in you, since you don't play coy.
2 people like this
@Uroborus (910)
• Canada
22 May 09
I think that him saying that you scare him was just more flirting on his part. I think that what he really was thinking was "I can't wait until she does come over tonight...wow she's hot and really gets me going. I can't wait to she what she wait by asking if I was ready to for what she had to give me" OK, well, I guess I'm not really sure that he's thinking THOSE exact words, but something like it. Or perhaps I'm projecting. Maybe I'm putting words in his mouth that I'm really thinking. After all, I really like a lady who can flirt and has not problem with being that forward. Maybe if it doesn't work with him, you could come over and show ME what you had in mind. OH now...there I go...I do apologize...but it does get hard when trying to figure this kind of thing out. Ooops, no pun intended. May I should have said it does get difficult...yeah that's better. Anyway, happy flirting, and let me know how things turn out with you and the scared (NOT) guy. Which reminds me, you never said whether you intend on going over to his place. OH!! You tease!! You go girl.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 May 09
I love your sense of humor! That is totally what I would love to find in a guy. It is so crazy, how I feel most of the time, I feel unworthy or not good enough for the men that I'm attracted to. I think by flirting with them, it makes me in a way feel like I am good enough, even though deep down, I don't feel that way. Wow! Does that even make any sense? But anyway, I don't even know where this guy lives, I mean, I know in a round about way, but not exactly where he lives, so I wouldn't just show up on his doorstep. Honestly, I wouldn't even show up if I did know where he lived, unless he invited me over. I hardly doubt that any of the thoughts that you say he was thinking were actually in his head, I have been flirting with him for 7 or 8 months and yeah, he has flirted occasionally, but nothing serious. It is just all in fun and I know I'm not hot or anything so those thoughts are not going through his head at all. But, man, I wish they were!! If they were, I would totally be all over him like syrup on pancakes! But seriously, if this guy did have me, I don't think he would appreciate me and I really would love to have a man who will cherish me and appreciate me for who I am.
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
22 May 09
i don't think he is scared, maybe they are in a way intimated because you see not all women are that upfront and open to flirting... and maybe there are confusions as well as you know there are men who are dumb enough not to see whether it is flirting or not lol..but i do not think you are scary. you are just open and having fun!
1 person likes this
• United States
22 May 09
Thanks! I do like to have fun, it makes a long day at work go by so much faster!
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
22 May 09
Well, I don't think he literally means he's scared of you. The fact that he even gave you a hug would mean he likes you but it doesn't say if it's only as a friend or something deeper. Anyway, just continue being nice to him and show him how good you are and how he can have a nice time with you. From your story, I can sense that you have a good sense of humor. For one thing, men like that. I don't think you're the type of woman men will be scared about. You're a beautiful woman inside and out. :D
1 person likes this
• United States
22 May 09
Thank you. I'm pretty certain that he will only ever want to be friends with me. I've made attempts to let him know that I was interested in more, I work with a friend of his and he even told him and it went no where. I wanted more, but honestly, now I don't care, I just like joking/flirting/playing around with him. It's all in fun and I hope he likes my sense of humor, although, I think I leave him speechless at times.
23 May 09
Hi singlemommy, you are just been friendly and nice but some men may get a little scared but then again you might be reading to much into a friendly smile or a hug, but the other girls maybe just jealous and start saying things that are not true, so be careful of these jealous women you work with. Tamara
1 person likes this
• Cebu, Philippines
23 May 09
You said that you were joking ever since right? So i guess he didn't mean that he's really scared... It was a plain joke and nothing personal... I think he knew that you are like that to anyone so there's nothing to be scared of he knew it from the start for sure..
1 person likes this
• United States
23 May 09
I don't know exactly what type of person you are, but if you are not in a committed relationship that the things that you are talking about doing are harmless. I have heard of men being scared of women that come on to strong, but there are also men who love aggressive women. Anyway, he gave you a hug the his comment must have been just more of the banter you two seem to share. If you are concern about rather or not you scare men, just ask them are you coming on to strong. I am sure they will be honest without being offensive.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
22 May 09
I think any woman who comes on to a man even in fun can be a threat...they like to take the lead for some reason....
1 person likes this
@justmeh (189)
• Philippines
22 May 09
Hmm...why don't you ask him directly?No,just kidding. I can tell that you just want to be friendly by well flirting maybe cause you're use to it or you're co-workers are already use to it so why do you think they're scared of you?Just enjoy yourself first. Don't mind anymore if they're scared of you or not. You should not let that question be bothered by you cause you know exactly who you are and what you're doing.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
22 May 09
i don't want to hurt your feelings but i think u are trying to hard to find u a man. putting out statements like that belittles yourself.just go easy & someone nice will come along . u don't have to have a man to make it. it is nice to have one but i don't think u are going to get a nice one the way u are going at it. be independant, enjoy your children & quit worrying about a man.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
22 May 09
Men are scared of women who want to do more than have the occasional roll in the hay. If you're looking for a partner, they'll be shy because they'll instinctively know that you want to jerk their chain and fix it to something permanent. The UPS joke was funny, especially if you two know you're joking and others thing there's something going on there. But if one of you is even half serious, it's not going to be funny for long. Let men know exactly what you want of them. If UPS guy isn't for you, let him know you wouldn't want to shack up if he were the last man on earth than go ahead and have a lot of fun with him because he'll be relaxed enough to enjoy it. Men are scared of commitments or anything to do with commitments. Once you let them know how much you expect of them, they'll either relax and be good company or they'll skitter away like cockroaches whenever they see you approach.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119865)
• Boise, Idaho
22 May 09
Like I told you before I think that the FedEx guy likes you and enjoys a good flirt with the best of them but that is it. He just doesn't like you the way you would like for him to. Sometimes flirting gets confusing and even may seem alittle needy after awhile. Men get to the point where they just aren't sure anymore. Ya know what I mean? He does like you though.
1 person likes this
@ketybhagat (4125)
• India
22 May 09
Maybe the friend of yours knew about your crush on this guy and might have told him so, and that may havea scared him off, not wanting to get serious. Now he knows you are just joking and having fun, so I guess its in the lighter vein. Maybe his hug after a long time and his saying this meant, you had him scared but not now. Keep being friends. Enjoy light flirtation and good luck.
1 person likes this
@Tko2020 (266)
22 May 09
When it comes to affairs of the heart,men and women speak different languages,women never say exactly what they really want or mean.
1 person likes this