How do you get over a love?

United States
May 23, 2009 11:51pm CST
I am a single mother of a daughter -9 and a 10 month baby. There dad has never really been kind to me. He has never showed any compassion towards me. Our Baby boy was diagnosed last november with progressive disseminated histoplasmosis. The disease progressed into his liver,spleen, heart and kidneys. We almost lost him on Thanksgiving Day. I never left my son's side not once. His father occasionally came up and always tried to pick fight so I would ask him to go back home. When I was pregnant with him he was also uncaring. He would go to the bars and leave me for days alone. When I went into labor I begged him to take me to the hospital but he had just taken a sleeping pill and I was unable to arouse him from sleep. I had to drive myself. My boy suffers from a rare blood disease called Cyclic Nutrapenia. This is why he contractracted Histoplasmosis. His white cell count is almost always low and his growth has been severly stunted do to this. I love their father still but also I hate him. He has left us. And he left my unprepared and without any support. I just cannot get over the fact of him leaving us alone and without any money to pay the bills. how do you overcome this?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@lelin1123 (15639)
• Puerto Rico
24 May 09
You have just gotten me so upset. How can you love a man that treats you so bad? I would go and get a lawyer so you can get child support. Sorry but he sounds like the biggest loser. Don't you and your children deserve more than that. How does he take a sleeping pill knowing you are pregnant and about to have a baby. There are alot of men that can't deal with sick children for some unknown reason. But I would definitely have him paying child support and if you two were married alimony. Do you have family around that can help with the children? I hope so. Good Luck to you and please be strong and Pray will help.
• United States
24 May 09
I agree, he does sound like a total looser... But its hard to not love someone even when they do things that other see as unspeakable... Personally I would have left him, but I'm from a society that doesn't frown on divorce, they expect it... and in some places the mother isn't the first choice when placing the child... So perhaps it was so she could remain with her children... or maybe it was just blind love... Love is never easy... I like to get good and angry in order to get over someone... but thats just my way... I wouldn't recommend it for anyone else.
• Malaysia
24 May 09
Nowadays, guys like this are increasing. It almost like he is heartless and I feel that it is pointless to get married. I can't imagine how you have going through this and still love him. Don't expect him to changed, he only will if he gone through the tough times like you did. He left you helpless and confused. Seek help my friend. Where are your family members. They should be helping you, but if they don't find somewhere else where someone would care like single mother center. God bless you my friend. Be strong.
• United States
24 May 09
We do not have a single mother's anything around here. I guess I just feel bad 'cause he has left us when we need him the most. I have contacted every church and organization around here and no one can help. Big price to pay when you live out in the boonies.
1 person likes this
@Beenice (237)
• Canada
24 May 09
Sad to say but he doesn't love you, he is just using you.He doesn't care about you .He is not mature enough for the responsabilities he already have sadly he won't change, I wonder what kind "love" you have for him, a love for his financial support or ???
• United States
24 May 09
To me, it sounds like you love the idea of a family by having the child's father in their life. I never knew my real father, still don't, but the man who raised me was still my father. It seems as though this man is too insecure to step up to the plate and take responsablity for his family. My wife is pregnant and I have stopped drinking except for the occasional brew at HOME, because I want to be their for her. Everyone has choices to make, but the right choice is not always the easiest. He has not made the right choices by being their for you and the kids. I think that the right choice for you would be to stop spending your time and energy on this deadbeat by realizing that you are the strong one. There are plenty of men that are real men out there. Fixating over one that has shown you he isn't one just narrowed your search a little.
• Philippines
24 May 09
I really don't know how can you still love a man who have done all these things that you have written. Think about your kids, I think that will be reason enough for you to be strong and to overcome this situation. May God bless you and your kids.
• China
24 May 09
First of all,i would like to express my the highest respect .You are a so great mother and your baby is very luck .But regretfully ,you married with a uncreditable man and have troubled in a unluck marriage .Encountered this kind of difficulity ,even for rich familities ,they can' t handle it very well .I advise you to look for helps from the society .such as government ;hospitals ;charitable organizations etc . Wish you healty and peace .
• United States
24 May 09
I am so sorry that you have had to endure these things... I honestly don't know how to tell you to overcome this, because for reasons that only you know you have decided to stay with this man... I don't know the whole situation but from what you have said this man is very selfish and I hope that God will send you a real man to love you and support you and be your partner... God bless