Do you look forward to family get-togethers or do you make excuses not to go?

@guia10 (139)
Philippines
May 24, 2009 4:45am CST
I spent the whole day yesterday at my mom's house, along with my brother's family and my sister. It's been a long time since we all sat down to have a nice dinner since we got so preoccupied with work for months. We do call one another and ask how the other is doing but whenever the topic of coming over for lunch or dinner is mentioned, there are always those excuses. Well, that didn't work for me yesterday coz the driver was sent to pick me up...Heck, it was fun! I used to dread dinner conversations because there would sometimes be comparisons on how my life is and how my other siblings are doing but I'm used to that. How about you, do you look forward to a family get-together or family reunion? Or you're one of those who prefer to stay home and ask what happened later on? Of course, during such times, there will be relatives bragging about what they've achieved or recently bought. There are also those who give criticisms or compare you with your other relatives but hey, you can't please everybody right?! Besides, no matter what they say or what they can say to put you down, what matters is how you see yourself. If you believe you can just as successful as them someday, then keep striving...opportunities come when you least expect them, right?
10 people like this
34 responses
@Jleivang (374)
• India
24 May 09
I agree with u. As long as u know urself and believe in urself, no matter wad people say won't let u down. for me, family comes first. I love family gatherings but it is very tiring at the end of the day. as my dad is one of the elders in my community, my place is usaually the ultimate destination for gatherings. it really drains me out. but, i try to enjoy it and be a part of it as much as possible cos now m home wth family as m still studying. but, tomorrow i'll be working and i might go where my work takes me to and things will certainly change. i appreciate that u still take out time for your family. enjoy every moment of it and i hope it will be a blessing for u and ur family aswell.
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
Thanks for sharing. It looks like you've a close knit family. That's nice to know and something you are blessed to have. :D
2 people like this
@geniustiger (1698)
• Philippines
24 May 09
I love to have a get togethers to the family. This is the very good way to show love and bonding between the members of family and relatives. The unity and bond ties to each other because of the gathering. We can talk about anything else for the good of our relatives and enjoy so much that anyone could not measure. This is a great Filipino values that cannot seen to others. The belongingness and the happiness can let them go forward until then to their offspring.
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
you're right. It's one amongst many great Filipino values which we should pass on to our children and so forth. :D
• Philippines
25 May 09
oh.. so you're both filipino??
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
I am a Filipina. I think he is also from the Philippines. It's coz in our country we are close knit. It doesn't matter up to what degree, a relative is still a relative. But I think that also goes for other countries. How about you? :D
@bestboy19 (5482)
• United States
25 May 09
When my family gets together, we don't usually talk about each other. We talk about the two things you're not suppose to talk about, religion and politics.
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
hehe..sounds better than comparing one another's achievements, right? :D
@bestboy19 (5482)
• United States
26 May 09
Right.
@wahmivy (778)
• Philippines
24 May 09
If it's my immediate family, I'm always up for that. Beyond that, I have my reservations. Like my relatives on my dad's side can get on my nerves sometimes with all their unsolicited advice and hypocrisy (they're sure to have some negative comment about you after the reunion and you'll never have an idea that they do because they're so sweet to you during the get-together). I'm closer to my mom's family and they're more my people so a reunion with them is always welcome.
@russso (1701)
• Philippines
25 May 09
I can see my dad's family in your dad's family. Really, if I had a choice, I dare not see any of them. They always try to meddle in other people's lives. Like you, I am also closer to my mom's side.
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
I'm also closer to my mom's side. My dad's side is also okay, except for my Uncles and Aunts who would compare us with their kids during get-togethers which is really irritating. Call me a hypocrite but what else can I do...they're my dad's relatives so I just pretend to smile...hehe..sometimes, when I find them so offensive already, me and my sister would start bragging about our accomplishments. Then they'd shut up and I know they got the point. So, if it's not my dad's birthday or my grandmother's bday (father side) or Christmas, I don't go to their family gatherings. I make up excuses like being to preoccupied with work. As for my mom's side, there are also those kinds of relatives but still tolerable. :D
• United States
24 May 09
I make excuses all the time whenever it comes to family get togethers and family reunions. I just cannot stand being around my family. They're hypocritical and have to always get their noses into your business about everything. They can't leave well enough alone and they throw the bible in your face every two minutes. It's just not my favorite thing to do in the world. If I can get out of them I will and I'll try my hardest to get out of them too.
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
As they say, we can't please everybody! I respect your views but I hope someday you and your family can try to work it out... :D
@eddify (413)
• Pakistan
26 May 09
I think family is something who is always there to help you when you are feeling down and help you the most. So there should be a way to come around. I live in Asia (Pakistan) where family stand above all. We are a very closely knitted family. We are 6, 4 sisters and two brothers. My two sisters who are married live near by whereas the youngest one lives in Islamabad with her Inlaws. But my two sisters visit us every week on Friday or Saturday. Imagine both os them have 3 kids each and my elder brother has 2 sons , when they are all together you cant hear a thing. But its always fun to be with the family.
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
26 May 09
Hello guia10, I only look forward for my immediate family get together I come from a big family and whenever we have a reunion, it is only for close family members minus the relatives It is more fun as we don't have to compare ourselves with each other. But anything involving my relatives especially maternal and paternal aunties, I have to say that I rather stay at home instead of going for the reunion!
• China
26 May 09
I wholly agree with you. i don't like gathering with those reletives whom i am't familiar with, and those who are gossipy and like talking bigger.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16194)
25 May 09
On my side of the family we do not have big family get togethers, there is not many of us for a start! We do not see each other a lot either so when we do get together I dont mind it as its usually nice. My hubbys family is much larger and I must admit I love their family get togethers they are such a laugh and we always have a fantastic time so I do look forward to those occasions, they do not happen on a regular basis perhaps just a couple of times a year.
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
I hope I can say that about my hubby's family - I actually hate them but I am always mandated to attend their family gatherings. Good to know you enjoy spending time with yours. :D
@bagumbayan (2707)
• Philippines
25 May 09
Like you do I oftentimes do go to those dinner con conversation. yes, it is comaparing notes, discussing so many odd things sometimes, but in the end we need talking to them. They are our family, we came from the same roots, we are related. We much love and show care to each one. As you said we have our own time, maybe it is their time but our time will come soon.
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
That's true, come what may, they are still your family and you will support each other through all obstacles. :D
@derek_a (10901)
25 May 09
I love my family and look forwards to the odd get-together. Being the only boy of four kids, there are often comparisons to how I was compared to how they were as we were growing up. I used to dislike this intensely, but like you, I guess I got used to it. By nature though, I am very much a loner and like my own company, so many times I like to stay at home an ask what happened later on. I think I am the black sheep of the family as my sisters have always been very competitive and that does not interest me in the slightest. If they are more successful than I am, then I am pleased for them. I think at times they may think that I am rather sad, but really I am not. I am quite happy with what I have achieved and do not get overly upset for things I do not have. I will give anything a fair try, but if it's not meant to be, then it's not meant to be.. - Derek
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
hehe...I think you just prefer to be low profile for the humblest reasons. It's actually good because you know what you want and you value your sibling's accomplishments. :D
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
25 May 09
Truth? I dread them,totally..seems there is always a fight started some how or another. Never fails the so and so pissed so and so off so all heck break loose. I love my family but I can't stand them when they are arguing and trying to always one up each other. It is a rare treat for them not to argue about something or be snide. It takes alot of threats to be nice or else beforehand to get them half civilized to be sociable. So I would gladly opt out and have on some family gatherings especially the in-laws ones..
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
Well, there are times when my my relatives would argue during a family gathering but through the years I got used to them doing so. I think it's just their way of releasing hidden qualms so that they can resolve it. When it comes to my in-laws, yeah, it's a different story. I don't like my husband's family, they treat me more like their son or sibling's secretary/treasurer rather than his wife...that's why I value my job so much. It's a way I can show them that I am not dependent on my hubby for anything! During family gatherings they would ask me if I learned how to cook or do the laundry already...I just smile at them and say that it's one reason I work so hard, so that I can hire someone to do all that! hehe...my husband would hate me for my guts sometimes... :D
@queennee (187)
• Philippines
25 May 09
i love family get together,its the only time that all of us are together and its a way of relaxation for me,being with my siblings and my mom.the never ending stories to share,laughter,foods and everything.its nice to be with the people you love once in a while.talking about of how our lives have been,successful or not is always part of our conversations,for me its normal and we always see to it that we never envy each other(me and my other siblings,wer'e 8,hehehe).we brag and somehow proud of our each achievements but we never compare and get jealous,we praise and accept each others success,that is why i never miss family get together,its the only time wer'e reunited...:) good day!
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
Such a big family and a very happy one too - I envy you! :D
@sid556 (31002)
• United States
25 May 09
Family is important to me. We don't see each other all that much because as you mentioned...we get caught up in work and our own things. Still if one of us is needing something, we all pull together.....we have each other's backs. We do get together on occassion and it is always always a great time. Last week we went to my aunt & Uncle's 50th and the week before was my nephews wedding so I've had a good dose of family this month.
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
That's really great to hear. Do keep that up. Hope my family and I will have frequent get togethers too. :D
• China
25 May 09
I am far away from my parents' home but I stay here with my aunt and my uncle. I know they expect my frequent visits but most of the time I am the one who make excuses not to visit them. They and their family are all nice to me but sometimes I just want to stay alone from them. I myself don't know why. Maybe also because of what you have explained. But the fact is my not so often visits always turned to be very pleasant fortunately.
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
True. However, it's really nice to update yourself with hat's happening with your family and relatives. Communication is very important in every family. :D
@russso (1701)
• Philippines
25 May 09
It depends on which side of the family this is. I always make excuses not to see my dad's side of the family. I can't stand them. I like my mom's side more. Though there are times when I also make excuses if we have a gathering. It really depends. If I can get away with it, I won't go. However, if I am obliged + mandated + compelled by mom and my grandmother to go, then I don't have a choice.
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
hehe..yeah, old folks sometimes have the final say if you're going or not. :D
@xhaylea (363)
25 May 09
I always look forward to family get togethers, as i love spending time with my family and loved ones, we have such a laugh and i like looking after my little cousins :) i never really make excuses not to go because i dont wanna let my family down and id rather spend time with family than not do anything at all, unless i was doing something REALLY and i mean really important with friends. But yeah i mostly ALWAYS never say no to a family get together, its alot of fun to be honest and i love my family to bits! :) xxx
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
I like the way you think...your family is really lucky to have you around. :D
@yoyozhou (356)
• China
24 May 09
Hi, I have the same situation like you. I have a lot of cousins and it is difficult for us to get together. I often call them and ask them how about they are recently and invite them for a dinner. But there always some cousins who say that they have no time. Maybe they are really busy. Yes, relatives often compare me with my cousins. Sometimes I think it is a invisible pressure and will influence on the friendship of us. You are right I think.Keep striving! Have a nice day!
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
Thanks for sharing...I think we all should just understand that not all relatives are nice just as not everyone in the world is nice...hehe...still, they're family so we just need to take them as they are, right? :D
@mimuche (163)
• Canada
24 May 09
definitely...i can say i count the days sometimes when such events approach. me, my siblings and cousins are really spread around the world almost each one in a different country (students) so once summer is there it is really great. We get to catch up on things and remember the old fun days. And since we are all young we get to prepare the food and help around (our parents have better things to discuss amongst them) and by the end of the day it seems like the day flew by. As for excuses none of us makes ones because we really do not get to see each other very often and we are very very close. Maybe no one looks forward to cleaning but it always ends up being funny as someone will do or say something hilarious. Hope you enjoy the coming family reunions.
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
I get to see my cousins every December and it's really fun. I feel guilty because I look forward to seeing my cousins because they live far away and we barely communicate. As for my parents, I always postpone our dinner arrangements because I know they're just here and I can always see them when I have the time. I know it's wrong and I'll try to change that attitude soon. :D
• India
24 May 09
I dont have much family to speak of ...being a single child there are no family get-togethers to speak of so since childhood I have dreaded the extended family. Like you said, they are forever either bragging about themselves or asking about me and looking to find something bad in my life. It hasnt changed post marriage and they are forever looking to find out what my hubby is doing, how we are doing financially and so on...quite insulting and unnecessary. My in-laws are not that type though, but even there we dont have much of a get together..so all in all, I prefer staying at home.
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
I know the feeling..I have that kind of relatives too..but I don't mind them. i also don't let it get into me. As long as I'm happy, we're in good health and financially stable enough - I'll mind my own business and let them do theirs. Still, no matter how they compare me to my cousins or siblings, I just smile at them. :D
• Philippines
24 May 09
oh my.. i super love get-together parties.. with friends, batchmates and of course with family.. i belong to a big happy family, were very much close to each other.. but as the years go by we become separated from each other.. so we savor each moment we become united again celebrating holidays and making up for what we have missed from each other.. as in its super fun fun fun...
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
That's good to know. Stay happy. :D
• Denmark
24 May 09
I hate those family get togethers... it's just plane awkward! sittin there, pretending to care. and then - yesterday i went to see some family and it was quite fun! went gainst my principals, but.. my cousin brought his new girlfriend and she was frickin hot, and she kept smiling to me, and im like 3 years older so that was quite entertaining :D anyone ever tried attending a family arrangement that turned out to be fun?
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
25 May 09
Lol! The more you need to see you cousins so that they can introduce you to a lot of hot girls...hehe... :D