When Others Volunteer You For Things You Don't Want To Do

@wolfie34 (26793)
United Kingdom
May 24, 2009 11:19am CST
Do you have that annoying person in your life, maybe a friend, maybe a family member, maybe even your partner that always seems to volunteer you or your services to someone else, when you absolutely have no intention of doing it? Or the job is so mucky and tiresome that you'd normally do anything to get out of it! Only your someone has just happily volunteered YOU to do the job! My ex was forever doing this to me, if someone wanted something done, a lift to the station or a job doing, straight away they would volunteer ME! I used to get so angry about it, it's as though you don't have a voice or a choice! It's like your opinion doesn't count, or you don't have a say in the matter, I tell you that is so damn infuriating to say the least. Why don't they volunteer themselves or keep their lousy mouths shut! Instead of being so forthcoming in putting your name forward! So what do you feel about being volunteered for something you don't want to do or even if you did feel who's ever volunteered you is damn cheeky!
4 people like this
13 responses
@nannacroc (4049)
24 May 09
I must admit I have been guilty of volunteering Mr Croc for jobs but I ow say I'll ask him before saying he'll do it. I know he found it annoying but hey tha's part of my job as a wife.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
24 May 09
Somehow I think Mr Croc wouldn't complain any way, he knows where his bread is buttered as it were ;0)
1 person likes this
@nannacroc (4049)
24 May 09
I don't listen to him anyway so there's no point in him complaining.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (102516)
• United States
25 May 09
Wolfie, come butter my new herbed cottage cheese bread. It is yummy.
@ellie333 (21029)
24 May 09
Hi Wolfie, Luckily anyone like that is not in my life as I would point blank refuse to do something if I hadn't been asked personally first and given a choice whether to say yes or no but if I did have someone like that around they wouldn't be friends for long and have little family and they have never done that. It would infuriate me too big time. Huggles. Ellie :D
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
24 May 09
My stubbornness can actually be an asset in these instances because many a time in the past when my ex has volunteered me I have caused a ruckus and I had always refused point blank to back down regardless!
2 people like this
@ellie333 (21029)
24 May 09
That stubborness is the Taurean in you Wolfie, hope you had a great birthday and well done for making a stand and saying NO. Huggles. Ellie :D
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
26 May 09
I had a truly wonderful birthday my friend, thanks to a wonderful friend of mine taking me out for the day, and seeing the new Star Trek film! Oh I am a typical Taurean alright ;0)
@guybrush (4660)
• Australia
2 Jun 09
I agree, this would be infuriating (and rude)! It's only happened to me once when our daughters were involved with ballet - someone assumed I'd be happy to be vice president of the committee (when I wasn't even there at the meeting to argue) - and I didn't like to refuse when they phoned me to tell me what had already been decided. I can't stand committees, with all the infighting and backstabbing which goes along with them, and couldn't wait to hand over the position to someone else a couple of years later. The whole thing was an intrusion in my busy life of doing nothing and being private!
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
3 Jun 09
Enough to send a shiver down your spine for sure! Glad to managed to get shot of the role! Be like trying to swim through a crocodile infected river, yikes!
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 May 09
If somebody wants to volunteer me, they had better ask me first. And I try to do the same...
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
3 Jun 09
Exactly! Permission needs to be got first beforehand!
@mikeysmom (2092)
• United States
25 May 09
i do not have anyone in my life like this because i would not tolerate it. i have learned to say no with no excuses. if i do not want to do something then i do not do it. i have enough stuff in my life that i HAVE to do on a daily basis so i do not need to be doing anyone elses dirty work or favors. i have done so many favors in my life for certain people they would never be able to repay me. i do not extend myself anymore because i find that people use you and take advantage. if i help someone it is because i want to not because i feel obligated.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
26 May 09
Having the power to say no is quite a talent and can actually be extremely difficult especially when your nearest and dearest are involved.
1 person likes this
@Bevsue (251)
• United States
25 May 09
I have had that same situation and the only thing you can do is to keep escalating your protest of his volunteering. The next time tell him firmly that you do not want him to do this to you again. If he persists you are just going to have to go for broke and embarrass him by refusing to do what he has volunteered you for and telling the person that he has promised your services to that Your mate does not control you or speak for you and that they are never again to expect that you will do something for them because your husband has agreed to it. If you embarrass him in front of others and make him look like the thoughtless jerk he is he will eventually learn to consider you.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
26 May 09
Excellent advice! Thank you, yes that is a good plan indeed, although my ex never got embarrassed and they never learnt, even when I stood up for myself.
@Kenorv (344)
• United States
25 May 09
My grandmother always volunteered me for stuff at church when I was a kid. That was very annoying. Spending time around old people wasn't exactly my idea of a fun childhood. I'm just glad that I don't have to worry about that stuff now that I'm an adult. I don't ever plan on having kids but if I did then I would never do that to them.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
26 May 09
I agree when you are a kid the last thing you want to be doing is hanging around with the old folk, you want to go and play with your friends and be left to do what kids do!
@sweetie1026 (1723)
• Philippines
25 May 09
No, i have no one in my life who does that but here at work thre isthis certain friend who does that and i hate it so much. Most often i get so angry with her when she volunteers my name for a certtain task that i do not want to do. Good thing that she has stopped doing that for now, maybe because our lady boss has checked on her regarding that. Good to see you again, my friend. I hope that all has been well with you.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
26 May 09
Good to see you too, thank you. Thankfully I have no one in my life that does this any more, I used to but I had to stand up for myself otherwise I'd get walked all over.
• Philippines
26 May 09
That is good. Yes, i guess we have to stand up for ourselves once in a while. I hope that you have a good day, my friend.
@GardenGerty (102516)
• United States
25 May 09
My hubby will do that to me, but only if it is something that he cannot do himself, or do well. For instance, I am off to type up a recipe that I basically made up for my bread machine this weekend. Someone he works with wants to try the bread I baked. My husband would feed the entire world if I would let him, and it does not matter if it is my food or his. Some of the other things I have gotten really angry about, but this is easy to do, and I want to get it written down before I forget how to do it, anyway.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
26 May 09
My mouth is watering at the thought of freshly home made bread! Put the kettle on and I'll be over for a slice ;0) (Well if you don't ask LOL!)
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (102516)
• United States
27 May 09
I will e mail you one.
@nzalheart (2352)
• India
24 May 09
Hello wolfie34!!! Well I see some other people like you too, who like to do their work only by themselves and don't want to get interfered. But most of the people are not like not, at least not me. It depends upon the type of work I am doing. And if somebody wants to help me then I am very much grateful for them. There is no point in getting angry when someone is helping us. If you feel such thing, then you should try to calm yourself. It seems that you are the person, who feels irritated very much. Don't mind, are you?
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
24 May 09
No, I don't mind, I do get frustrated easily I agree! But If I help someone it's because I want to help them rather than offers offering my help without my say so!
1 person likes this
@nzalheart (2352)
• India
24 May 09
If you get frustrated easily, try not to get frustrated easily. Control your frustration and just smile out. It may be difficult initially because you are used to with that habit. With practice, you will change yourself...
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24993)
• Australia
27 May 09
I'd get out of it or put it back onto the person who volunteered me. At the very least I would get them to help. That wasn't a cheeky thing to do...it was a controlling thing to do.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
27 May 09
Well my ex was the world's worst control freak, still reap what you sow my friend!
@enruschew (249)
• Malaysia
25 May 09
Hi wolfie! Yeah,sometimes it's really very annoying that we were being voted to do things that we don't like to do.I felt the way you felt it too. I hate why I'm always the one to help my mom to buy things in the market but not my brother nor my sister.I hate when dad asked me to fetch my mom from somewhere at what time.Why me again? Why not my brother??? Hey,it's not fair!
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
26 May 09
Maybe your mum trusts you more than your brothers and sisters and that is why she relies on you heavily, which I agree is not fair, a sneaky way is to buy the wrong things and then she wouldn't send you again because you weren't trustworthy but I guess this could be misconstrewd!
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
25 May 09
I'm not also happy being volunteered by others for things they didn't even consulted me if I'm in favor doing. Should this happen, I'll surely reject it, or choose other things I'll surely enjoy doing. Much better if we volunteered ourselves for things we want to and not for others to decide for us.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
26 May 09
Exactly it's up to us not others to volunteer!