Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

@TLChimes (4845)
United States
May 25, 2009 9:48am CST
Is it an excuse if you honestly believe your reason? Place yourself into another person's place for a minute. If you're desperate and figure there is only one way out, is that an excuse or an honest reason? (right or wrong issue aside) What is the difference between an honest REASON and just an Excuse?
5 people like this
20 responses
@celticeagle (114511)
• Boise, Idaho
25 May 09
An excuse is when you really don't want to do whatever and you make excuses as to why you can't. A reason is a full fledged reason why you can't do it. One that will stand up in court! The difference being one is an excuse and the other is realistic and a real reason. Sadly, the two often become very close. Desperate and only one way out we just for excuses only to be made look rediculous.
2 people like this
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
27 May 09
But are some one assume you are making an excuse when what ever is really justified?
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (114511)
• Boise, Idaho
28 May 09
That depends on the person and where they are at individually. Their problem, not yours. I think repeating yourself and staying with the idea is important. Work it through in your head ahead of time. Being consistant with your basic thought is important as well. Stay true to what you say, think and feel.
@thezone (9452)
• Ireland
25 May 09
I think a valid reason is something beyond someones control and an excuse is just to keep someone off your back. Sometimes we all have times in our lives where we do have valid reasons and sometimes when we don't want to tell the truth for personal reasons, we make an excuse. Sometimes an excuse might be necessary as not to hurt someones feelings, in a way an excuse is a bit like a white lie.
2 people like this
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
27 May 09
So some excuses are justified, or ok? I would have to agree. I hope you are well today my Dear Irishman.
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@thezone (9452)
• Ireland
27 May 09
Yes, I would say some excuses are ok once one has a valid reason and is not just trying to fob someone off. I am doing good Chimes, my friend. Hows you ?
@dragon54u (31339)
• United States
25 May 09
An excuse is something that could have been avoided. A valid reason is something that you cannot control. A reason to miss work is that you are ill but an excuse is that you ran out of gas. Car problems are an excuse, usually, as good maintenance can prevent them. Traffic jams are excuses, as they can be avoided by knowing alternate routes and leaving home in more than enough time to get there. Personal shortcomings are not valid reasons, but excuses that we use to avoid responsibility.
2 people like this
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
27 May 09
Now that's a perspective I hadn't thought of but that gives me something to think about. Wonderful answer... thank you!
• Philippines
25 May 09
I will give you a simple explanation through examples. You can use an honest reason to your partners and your loved ones or from your jobs from misunderstanding and miscommunication. Giving an excuse to the unrelevant topics or if you can't go to the parties or events due to sudden emergency in which you don't want others to know. They are not bad though but you have to give them good answers. Otherwise, you will end up lose your face. believe me.
2 people like this
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
27 May 09
Good answers for me may be poor ones for the other person... I think it's all on how you look at it.
@adam1980 (517)
25 May 09
it realy is hard to decide between the two, an honest reason for me is when someone realy does have a genuine reason and an excuse is just that they couldnt be bothered
2 people like this
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
26 May 09
That is a good way to sum it up.
• United States
28 May 09
i think either way it can be considered an excuse.. i mean even if its legit other people may not believe it and think of it as that.. so even if its a reason to you there will be some one that will prob just think its an excuse since there is always some one that likes to think the worst of people
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
28 May 09
I agree... people will question everything another says and does so it gets twisted. Sad isn't it?
@mathss1 (1182)
• United States
27 May 09
There is no difference a reason is an excuse and an excuse is a reason
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
27 May 09
NICE to see you.... Um... but are excuses bad?
@sanuanu (11238)
• India
27 May 09
I don't know what is the reason and what is just an excuse! Because when i will say 'excuse me', I will have a reason for that. For example, If I have got colided with you while walking I will say 'sorry' becaue it might be my fault but if it is not my fault then I would not be seeking excuse. so, an example would make things a little clearer!`
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
27 May 09
Sorry, there is no actual example but maybe you can try this one. My mother in law waited till a few hours before dinner to invite my whole crew over. Now the little two have an upper respiratory thing going on and father in law has bad lungs so I said no, because I didn't want him to catch it. My mother in law brought some food over and saw the kids running about like kids do. She then said I had said no because I just didn't want to go over there. While I wished she had given me more notice it really was about the kids and my father and law.
@rowantree (1190)
• United States
26 May 09
An honest reason is something that you have to do or can't control. I can't go to the wedding because I'm in the hospital type thing. Now if you don't want to go to that wedding and your excuse is that you're unable to attend due to something going on at home...is that an excuse? Or is that an honest reason? I'd have to say it's an honest reason. The person who doesn't want to attend has a true, honest reason why. If you were to press someone who honestly believed their reason, you would realize that it wasn't an excuse but a valid reason. Hopefully. LOL. It's the person who just doesn't want to be bothered going because they don't want to get dressed up and they don't want to run into Bob from accounting so they say that they can't attend because they have family coming in from Wisconsin - that's making up an excuse.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
27 May 09
Great examples....It's good to see you hanging out here... hope to see more of you (hint hint)
• United States
26 May 09
A reason has facts to back it up.. while an excuse has vague (if any) facts, or tangible evidence to back it up.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
27 May 09
I like this simple look at it...
• United States
26 May 09
Ok first lets start off by stating that there's a huge difference between an excuse and a honest reason. An excuse is something that is either untrue or unimportant at the time and is just being used because you don't want to do whatever it is that is there to do, and of course we know an honest reason is exactly that, something that you have to do that is more important than doing what is being asked of you. If your desperate and figure there is only one way out, then its definitely an excuse. Desperation will cause a person to say or do anything to avoid the task at hand.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
27 May 09
Hello Bear! Welcome to the Lot. I hope to see more of you. This was a well thought out answer. Desperation can cause a lot of people to do things out side the norm.
• India
26 May 09
Well let me put the answer this way.... A lie is a reason when you are not caught... A lie is an excuse when you're caught..
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
27 May 09
OK.... I can see your point on this.
@maezee (27886)
• United States
26 May 09
Excuses are usually used by people who don't want to take responsibility for themselves & their actions. When you're telling your teacher that your dog ATE your homework, and therefore you couldn't do it.. You're trying to take the blame & negative attention off of yourself by telling them the excuse.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
27 May 09
Hmmm.... good answer. I like you thoughts on this.
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
26 May 09
An honest reason is just that, an honest reason why you're late, didn't do something etc., it's usually something that may have happened that is beyond your control. An excuse is a way of avoiding taking responsibility and can have a touch of dishonesty attached to it; it can be used to justify your actions.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
27 May 09
Yep.... this I understand and agree with.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 May 09
To me, the difference between excuses and reasons is a emothional/attitude decision and a decision based on concerns(waatever they might be). If you don't want to go to Sunday dinner at the inlaws and make a conscious decision to use the dog having puppies (as an excuse) it's one thing. If you explain that your kids have fevers and are cranky, you have children with health concerns anyway, or how about your father-in-law with respiratory issues and the kids are congested and runny noses -- all very valid "reasons". There are times when the line is foggy, it could be a little of both. A outside situation accured that allows you to not do something you didn't really want to do anyway. But; that dosn't make it less valid. No one has the right to decide weither it's an excuse or a reason. Everyone is entitled to their own priorties and what might be an excuse to one person could be a valid reason to another.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
27 May 09
Very well said.... Love how you used my latest issue with the in-laws... but it was the truth and I just can't see putting anyone in jeopardy.
@GardenGerty (91221)
• Marion, Kansas
25 May 09
The difference is only perspective. A lot of people like to point fingers at other people who have reasons for things and yell "EXcuses" but I think that is just their excuse to bully someone else.
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
27 May 09
I don't like bullies..... You I like. I think you are right... I also think people shouldn't assume they know anything about another person's reasons.
• Malaysia
25 May 09
Some people are not willing to accept that they are wrong. It's all about attitude because we wanted to let people know that you are right in any points. Sometimes excuses are made purposely just to proof that whatever you think is right and don't care what other people think. It's called arrogant and self-centered.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4845)
• United States
27 May 09
and annoying...
• India
1 Jun 09
Hello my friend TLChimes Ji, I know that asking for excuse should be under extreme conditions. We should never give chance to other , so that and un-warranted situation arises, where we have to ask for an excuse. But in case, if it is required, on eshould never hesitate and agree for one's mistake. It will never harm, it will pay dividend.
@MsTickle (25014)
• Australia
29 May 09
My brother is a lot smarter than I am. When I was living with my Dad, my sister and brother were trying to get me to leave. My brother travelled several hours one weekend to come and see Dad and I to give me a push to move out. I had no money and was working casually, working between 3 and 10 hours a week so I was not earning much. My bro looked through the Real Estate section of the paper, pointing out cheap (and quite undesirable) homes for me to buy. When I told him "that's where the railway line runs" or "that's the worst area in the district" or "and what am I supposed to use for money?"....his reply to all that was I was simply finding excuses. WTF??...they sounded like bloody good reasons to me....specially the last one!
@sulynsi (2838)
• Canada
28 May 09
This is a very interesting question. I think that much has already been said about the difference between an excuse and a reason. I think though, that we may have a reason why to do or not to do something, but we make up an excuse because we are 1)are embarassed 2)feel that noone will believe the reason 3)feel that others will judge our reason, and brand it an excuse. Sometimes, people ask things of us that they have no right to ask, and frankly sometimes, even if I have a "reason", I may not think they have the right to know that reason. It may be noones' business. I don't make anything up, I just say, no, I'm sorry. If someone wants to think I'm making an excuse, that is there prerogative. If I decide to change my mind and not go to the party, I call my host/ess and apologize and explain my reason. I often don't feel well at the end of a long day, and it is my right to accept or decline an offer of hospitality. As long as I'm not lying to the person, I don't see why I should have to answer to other peoples' needs all the time. If I knew the party was FOR ME or they went to special trouble on my behalf, then I'd just take my sorry carcass and go anyway, but if it is a casual get together, and others will not be affected if I go or not, then I don't feel bad about excusing myself. Often we do things because we just don't know how to say "no, thank you" and then we end up resenting it. I think it is better to be honest. That isn't an excuse, it is simply the truth. Now, in the case of an obligation, that is different. I have contracted to do a job, for example, nothing short of a serious illness or injury will prevent me from doing what I agreed to.