can you trust again a friend who once betrayed you?

@cainam (493)
Philippines
May 26, 2009 3:17am CST
we where then in college when i met a so called friend. i thought her as a good person, near perfect at all. the betrayal began when she secretly texted my boyfriend and ask my boyfriend not to tell anyone even me.. she's giving letters and even waited for my boyfriend after class. she was really a perfect dumb. but my boyfriend told me about everything and i confronted her. she denied it and insisted that my boyfriend is the one who's secretly courting her. even she's telling the truth she betrayed me either way coz she did'nt tell me. i'm still angry at her till now. she keeps on calling and texting me but i never answer back. i can't trust her anymore. if i were you will you give her a second chance? i see that second chance as another chance to make fool of me.
8 people like this
33 responses
@deejean06 (1953)
• United States
1 Jun 09
Hi cainam...I don't think I could give that friend another chance. AFter all I've heard that "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me." I don't want to be a fool twice. Gone are the days when I would give second chances.
• Philippines
1 Jun 09
no way! 1 word is enough for a wise guy..
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24980)
• Australia
31 May 09
You know what...I wouldn't worry too much. This person was never your friend...friends don't treat their friends like that. She needs to grow up and learn that her actions have consequences. Just forget about her...hopefully she will eventually learn how to be a true friend. Be strong...leave this one behind.
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
30 May 09
Though I am forgiving, there is no way I can trust a person who have betrayed my trust. I believe in a leopard never change its spots and I have been proven correct many times.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
26 May 09
I think once a trust is broken then it is broken for good, the unfortunate part of a friend betraying you is you can end up mistrusting eveyone as happened to me, I don't trust anyone 100% after being betrayed by two best friends I thought I could trust... I learnt that human nature has a weakness and I think we all have it ..
• Philippines
26 May 09
I cant trust a friend who once betrayed me. Once she betrayed you she can do it again even she promised she wont do it again. We dont know what's gonna happen even ourselved are not sure if we really can make own promises. So even she said she wont do ti again she wont know unless the time comes. And I believe once she do a thing she can do it again.
• China
27 May 09
I have the same opinion with you . If Sb. betray me ,I will never trust him or her even they were my best friend.
@msedge (4012)
• United States
31 Jan 10
betrayal - Betrayal is a painful act.
It happened to me also.I never expect a very close friend of mine for so long betrayed me and made up stories against me.It almost destroyed my life.I keep asking myself why she did it to me but i found out ever since she keep talking behind my back and was jealous of my situation.My life is better than her but i really never think that she would feel that way because i was very kind and giving to her.It really hurts me alot that until now i still can't forget what she and i can't really forgive her not even on my grave.
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
Hello cainam! It will never be easy to trust someone who has once betrayed you. Once the trust is broken, it's not that easy to earn it back. All the more that things get complicated when it is actually a FRIEND who betrays you. Chances are, you would think that if a FRIEND can betray you, anyone else can. Personally, I would probably trust that person again but it will take some time before I can do that again. Besides, everyone deserves a second chance.
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
It's a BIG NO. It's not that easy giving your trust to people and I often find it hard to give it so once given it will be all yours but once broken you'll find it hard to gain it back. I've been hurt many times for broken trusts and I definitely don't want it to happen again. SO often I'd just talk to these people officially and not bother telling secrets anymore. :)
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
2 Jun 09
I know me and i know how hard i find it to give up on a friend no matter how badly they have treated me - i may not trust them as much but i still give them a chance to earn that trust back. Some trusts are much harder to earn back...like what you describe others...well easily broken easily reformed. I have a friend who constantly stands me up or is late and just doesnt get why i feel hurt or mad at her when she does it...that is until i gave up on her ONCE in 8 years and went and did something else while i waited on her. She was to be at my house at 5 pm...at 7 pm she wasnt and she hadnt called either..my sister called and asked if she could come watch a movie with me and i said sure. About 9 pm my friend calls says i'll be there in half an hour - i said okie dokie me n stephy will be here and she said "you changed our plans" I said no you changed them when you didnt show up 4 hours ago like we planned. She never did show up that night...and about a week later i told her i couldnt be the hot potato lets drop her and go drinking with people friend she expected me to be and that i really thought she needed to find someone else to be her bridesmaid. I'm still her friend now but when she calls to make plans i tell her now I will wait half an hour after the specified time and then find somehting else to do because I wont be a looser and miss out on fun things with my other friends and family just for her to stand me up.
@csrobins (1125)
• United States
29 May 09
Give her te hcahnce to apologize or talk to you about it and share her story. But just because she apologizes doesn't mean you have to act as if nothing had happened and trust her again. You can forgive without forgetting. You can still be her friend agian but taht does not mean you have to right away or trust her, she should understand that. I probably would never talk to her again, but then I'm not a very forgiving person.
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
28 May 09
Hello cainam, It is not easy for me to trust other people. As for me, whether I can trust a friend who cheated on me depends on the wrongdoings. If it is really serious, I won't trust her again. If not, I will give her a second chance. As for your friend, you should check carefully who was lying to you at the first place.
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
28 May 09
It is a difficult situation to be in because once trust has been broken it is hard to regain it. You can forgive your friend and yet decide not to see her again. To me forgiveness means letting go of the bitterness and resentment but not necessarily forget. I guess it is up to you whether you feel you could give her a second chance; is she generally a decent person who made a huge mistake or is she the type that would be likely to do something similar again? If you were to give her a second chance she would have quite a job regaining your trust again, if at all possible. I guess you are the only one that can know whether it is feasible or not. Whatever you decide letting go of resentment is vital either way for your own well being. Good luck!
@hanah87 (1846)
• Malaysia
28 May 09
Oh i never will be good back with betrayer friend.I also cannot trust she back if i'll be you.I have a friend who betray me and now i broke up our friendship.I thik she is not good enough to be my true friend.
• Thailand
28 May 09
It depends on the situation. There's a friend who betrayed us but there's a reason on this such as an emergency action. Like stealing something on us, like money. Me itself, I feel sorry just because them, something happen to their family. Accident, sick that it needs cash. Liar, is just also happen and being a practice of any child on the generations. They do to be a lie...from their parents, teachers..why? Opinion?
@mariposaman (2967)
• Canada
27 May 09
You say when we were in college, when was that like last week. Sounds like you need new friends, including boyfriend. I suspect buddy boy was probably rebuffed by your girlfriend and he decided to cook up the story that she was coming on to him as he knew that girlfriend would eventually tell you about it. Possibly girlfriend did not tell you so you would be hurt that your boyfriend was insincere. Of course that is pure speculation. I suspect you may never know the truth or if you do it will not matter anymore. You do not say if you and boyfirend are still an item together.
@jayrene (2713)
• Philippines
27 May 09
i will never trust again a friend who has betrayed... especially like what you're friend did to you.. that is unforgivable... it is hard for me to forgive and even harder to forget. so once i get betrayed that's it, never expect anything from me anymore. i could help that person though if he/she is in need but the relationship can never be patch up again. i prefer that we consider each other like strangers.
• Philippines
27 May 09
I can be friends with her of course their is forgiveness but I never forget, so I can say I can trust again a friend who betrayed me. I can't fool myself when it comes to that. I know this is hurting on the part of my friend but that is life and I think friend who betrays deserves that.
• Indonesia
27 May 09
no i can not. trusting her or him is very difficult to do because she or he was hurt me. i think i will turn away from her or him. when i was in secondary school, my friend hate me because she thought me loved her boyfriend. honestly, i was not know her boyfriend. one of my bestfriends was spreading a gossip that i loved her boyfriend. then i asked my bestfriend why she did it. she told me that she loved him. and she used me to cover her feeling.
• India
27 May 09
I would suggest that you ignore her existence completely. Don't get angry. Just tell her this friendship can't go on, anymore! Be calm and don't get aggressive when you talk to her. Her guilty conscience will make her want to fight with you and deny everything. If you fight or raise your voice over the issue, matters will only become worse. So,I would suggest that you forget that the incident even occurred. Do everything as calmly as possible! Go on with life.