IS this Right?

@angemac23 (2006)
Canada
May 26, 2009 11:12am CST
As many of you already know, I am having trouble with my boyfriend. Here is a another thing he does that he thinks is right. I am always trying to get him to do things with me. We never go out. I love outdoors and when he first met me, he told me he did too, but he has not shown that to me. However, he goes out with his guy friends multiple times a week and on the weekend for sometimes 5 or 6 days in a row. Yesterday he got off work and within 15 minut4es of him being home, his friend called and asked him to go out. He jumped up without even thinking about it and said yes and off he went from 5 until 11PP. I have asked him many times to go out with me after work and he always says he is too tired or hungry or doesn't feel like it after a hard day at work but yet he j8umps up for his friends. Is there something wrong with this or am I being a b##tch?? I wanted to be with someone who enjoyed doing things with me and enjoyed the same things as me and enjoyed spending time with me but this guy does not want to be in public or outdoors with me at all even though he knows that's what I like and he fooled me into thinking that's what he likes too. I am lonely and long to be with someone I can have fun with and who has fun with me. Every time I talk to him, he says I am being paranoid and delusional. I think he is playing head games because I know what I see and I know how I feel and it is him causing it. I think I am going to have to get a third party involved to talk to him and tell him he is wrong because he thinks what he si doing is right. he goes out and has his fun while I am home alone all the time. He also says we will do something the odd time and at the last minute he decides to go out and that leaves me with not enough time to find other plans. He thinks this is ok. I stay home and have my plans ruined while he still gets to go out and do something. I can't see how this is right....
1 person likes this
6 responses
@jayrene (2713)
• Philippines
30 May 09
time for you to take care of yourself... go out with your friends, stop hoping that he'll take you out. since you are living in the same house, it's normal for him to not do as you wish since he knows you'll be there waiting for him when he comes home. try giving it a twist, go out with your friends come home late, let him miss you sometimes... it may change his attitude towards you... and if not, then i think it's time for you to move on and find somebody else. someone that would really make you feel special and would make you happy. do you really want to spend the rest of your life like what you have right now, think about it.
@anetteh (3591)
• Sweden
30 May 09
I agree with You jayrenen, I think she should find her own way of having fun, go out do the same thing as he does, with your friends, do not even talk to him, just do it. Get your action going, do not sit at home and wait for him, go out and do things for your self. If he really loves you he will start notice and asking about your actions, he will start asking what you are doing. At the moment he knows you will be there and wait for him. Do not do that. You can not live your life through some one elses.
• India
30 May 09
Hey common, this is usual. He loves you very much. That's why he takes rights to ignore your requests. You are with him. He lives with you. So there's nothing special to be with you. But he is away from his friends. So, being with his friends looks special to him. That's not that he don't love you. It's just because he loves you very much. He thinks that you will understand his feelings. That's why he's behaving so. Just be cool. Just try to make him understand your feelings. Fighting is not the right tool. Just sit with him for a while. Open your heart. Say everything from your heart. The appeal must be romantic. Naturally you'll start weeping at the end. This'll definitely transform heart!
@angemac23 (2006)
• Canada
30 May 09
Thanks for your response but I think you are wrong that he loves me because if he loves me, he would not call me names!
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
4 Jun 09
It's not right and I don't think your being a b##tch. I can understand wanting to feel important and wanting to spend time with him. Do you have any friends that maybe you could make plans with sometime? I know it's not the same but it may get you out of the house a little. If I had plans with my friends and he suddenly wanted you to break them...I wouldn't dare. Not for a million bucks. Sometimes things can change when you give them a taste of their own medicine. Take care.
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
29 May 09
Time to examine your relationship!! It sounds as if it's all one-sided with him reaping all the benefits. Go out with your girlfriends and do something when he's out, see how he likes it. Come home later than he does, leave earlier and leave a note saying you'll be late. How he reacts will tell you whether he's playing games. If he's upset, he's a controller and you need to find someone else. If he's not upset, he doesn't care and you need to find someone else. Get the picture? Or, you could talk with him or go to couples counseling. Although at this point I doubt it would do much good. Assert yourself and quit being a doormat!!
@max1950 (2313)
• United States
26 May 09
tell him to straighten out or take a walk, it's your life don't waste it, you'll be alright. i know your girlfriends have something to say about it, listen to them dont sit idle and let time drag on ,be happy . as long as your there taking care of him he's gonna hang with his friends. get out now....
• United States
26 May 09
You really are headed for just more of the same. You need to start going and doing things on your own. Don't just sit there and waste your life waiting, especially when you know it will never happen. He is obviously not ready for a committment. You deserve to share your life and love with someone. While you are out enjoying things on your own, you may be surprised to find someone new, who really does enjoy the things you do, and just someone using you and taking you for granted. Get and and enjoy. Be open and you will find the right one. Happy hunting and Good Luck.