Do you think that a man must to work in house how his wife do too?

@icesmile (7172)
Romania
May 28, 2009 3:54am CST
If both have a job, both bring money in the home, both pay bills, both are human beans, both eat, sleep, both are tired.....WHY MUST JUST WOMAN WORK IN HOME, CLEANING, COOK, CARE ABOUT BABIES, GO TO SHOPPING? WHY? i am right or not? i know a lot of family where just woman work in home, man just wait to eat, change his clothes, he want go out with friends to watch a football game, or drink a beer in city? WHO MAKE THIS RULES? DO YOU RESPECT THIS "RULES"or maybe your husband help you? Or maybe you mister try to clean, go to shopping or why not take care with kids or cook something?
6 people like this
16 responses
@beamsey (425)
• Philippines
28 May 09
Well, noone made these rules but it has just been carried out since the time of the cavemen. Biologically, men are stronger and bigger than females and are more capable of hunting. So to survive, it meant that cavemen would go hunting while cavewomen stayed to prepare the food and take care of the children. If both male and female would go hunting, there's a risk that females wouldn't be able to keep up and die instead of being able to come back to the cave. Moreover, noone would be left to watch the young. It isn't really about rules, it all started with survival. Nowadays however, we are all more liberal and many women work and I know of families where the husband is the one who stays at home.
1 person likes this
@beamsey (425)
• Philippines
28 May 09
Probably because even though ancient times have passed, there are still traditional people who think housework is for women only. There are men who feel disgraced when they do housework and also others who feel they housework is demeaning for a man. However, majority now are willing to help their wives in raising the kids and maintaining the home. Old habits die hard. But they do eventually when people realize how impractical they are. At least the world you live in right now is more flexible than the world before.
1 person likes this
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
28 May 09
if old habbit die hard, who man don t keep his woman home, not work in a job....if like to keep traditions?
@beamsey (425)
• Philippines
28 May 09
It's been a long time since women were expected to stay at home and not work. SO many things have happened already to change that. Women fought for there right to work and it has been a success. Though this is the case, there are still some countries who prefer to have their women stay at home. In these countries, it is more a matter of culture.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 May 09
In my house, I work full-time and work part-time as a freelance writer. My husband does not currently work as he is on disability. I bring home the 'bacon', vaccum, sweep, wash the bathroom, share in taking care of the kids when I am home, drive my husband to his doctor's appointments, make the meals, wash the floors and take care of the laundry when it is cleaned. My husband takes the kids to school and takes care of them when I am at work, does the dishes, cleans the laundry and folds it, takes out the trash, makes our bed, cleans the cat box and pays the bills. I believe that we share the chores in the house. That is the only way it will all get done. I believe in sharing all the chores. That way it is more equal. I realize I work full-time, but if my husband was not on disablilty (which he get a check for this) he would be working full-time. I work part-time as a freelancer because I want to, not because I have too. So, its even. What does others think?
• United States
28 May 09
well, my bf was RAISED to not have to do anything so I can't speak for others and just myself but I have lost my enthusiasm of keeping house because that is what is EXPECTED of me and even when our duties were the same (I help run his business) who was doing it, me. I went away for a period of two weeks came back and the house was in shambles--just a mess, and he was like a little boy not knowing what to do, if I could have boys I would surely raise them to be self sufficient and capable of taking care of home. My father is like this now but never when he was married to my mom (who also worked fulltime). So I would have to see it to believe it you know because thats all I have seen and at work that was always the joke about men who were useless around the house.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 May 09
I am sorry to hear this... I do know how lucky I am to find my husband all ready trained. :) I have three boys and I have raised each one to take on house hold duties to be equal. So far only one of my boys has reached adulthood. I am proud to know that his wife brags that my son does help not only take care of their household but also takes interest in changing their babies diapers. I only can pray that I have just done my part in changing this old thought of women to be superwomen. I can only hope that my last two boys follow suit. Only time will tell.
1 person likes this
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
28 May 09
Hi, 2 different situations...here is difference, maybe is a matter of education too...and i come back and say again...woman are guilty, because accept...woman try offer all and don t wait nothing...maybe we must to say a big..NO....man must help...at least they can try
1 person likes this
@Beertjie (978)
• South Africa
28 May 09
I am a man, I cook, clean, do washing, ironing, shopping, etc. I am not married but live with my parents and I help with all household things. I know many men who do. But..... How many woman change the lightbulb, fix the car, fix the broken pipes, mow the lawn, etc. I know thers are woman doing those things, but I strongly believe more men do household chores than woman doing things that men usualy do. There are no rules, I believe in equal rights. Just as much as I can do the dishes, so can the woman light the fire, wash the car, whatever. Some men and woman do not want to share these things, but I think it is good for relationships if both do everything. But, if I was married, I would neverr expect my wife to do the dirty things that is seen as the man's job. I would rather do it, and still help in the house. Married men who go with their buddies to drink and leave their wifes at home, they do not deserve to be married. They should leave their wifes and go stay with their buddies. If you are married, your place is with your family. Then you have mutual friends and visit them together. If men and woman do these basic things, there would be much less divorse. Blessings
1 person likes this
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
28 May 09
good point, you very right, congratulations, if you see things in this way
• United States
28 May 09
i do all of that i mow the lawn, weed eat, rake the leaves, check the oil/transmission fluids, i can even change them and have. there are alot of woman i know who do all of this i asked my dad to show me when i was younger so i wouldn't have to depenand on a man to do it for me. some things i still have to ask my husband to help with. i can even change brakes on the trucks we own. not all of us are helpless woman. or believe that its a man job to do all of this. i do understand what you are saying, alot of woman would not bother to learn. stripping and waxing floors is very hard and dirty work those that have done it no what i'm talking about. i've done it all by myself.
1 person likes this
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
28 May 09
seems that in this era, people start change something...all can change only if we want
• India
28 May 09
My husband doesnt help around the house and sometimes its so frustrating, specially since I work whole day. What bugs me most if ever he comes home before me, he will bathe and be refreshed and wait for me to come home and make some tea for both of us...I mean if he's come in before me, why couldnt he have just made the tea, kept it in a flask and then I could have some rest too! But he wont do it...anyway, more than rules, I think its the culture we grow up in. Traditional societies, like we have in India, expect men to earn outside while women stay at home. While that is OK but now times have changed and women are working and earning too but men have not evolved...I think nobody enjoys doing housework after a tired day...so men avoid it as long as possible.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 May 09
yea, thats why they say "but I dont know how, you do it"
1 person likes this
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
28 May 09
Don t you think that we..woman are guilty too? if we come from work, and see that he don t help...we must go and refreshing, take relax too...maybe ask him money to eat to restaurant too. I like a lot to cook, clean, have a nice home...but..why i must to do everything? this is question what a woman can ask shes man.
• United States
28 May 09
traditionaly the woman always takes care of the home. If you look at the many different cultures all over the world, different races, religions, world wide you will notice this trend. this is because of two reasons. 1. in a majority of the world man holds 99% of the power and desision making responsibilities. men are more aggressive (testostorone - chemicly controled)and based on history will fight to obtain power. women on the other hand are biogicly designed to nuture and care for children this makes them the ideal candidate to stay at home and care for the family. 2. the poorer the country the more control man has over a woman. if you look at more progressive countries like the united states, japan, canida, germany, etc you see woman play a greater role in the developing a nation. this is because these richer countries see the value behind diversity (why have a man work and make 50,000 a year when the wife can work and bring the house hold income to 100,000 this country like so many other rich countries see the value in matierial things. so because of MONEY women have been able to leverage there position in power in this country. and soon they will be a mans equal. right now women are still struggling in a sexist enviornment and don't make nearly as much, but that will soon change. to answer your question its all chemical and bioligical. only capitalizim can change these circumstances
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
28 May 09
Hi, maybe you are right, but in a society, rules are made it by people....no matter what is...communism, capitalizim, or something else...if a man love his wife, he will help she, right?
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
28 May 09
There are no rules. In my last relationship, my boyfriend used to cook, because he was doing much better than I do with cooking. We cleaned together and work around the house together. There are no rules, but woman feeds to be more demanding...
1 person likes this
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
28 May 09
you, you very right, woman are guilty too...because they don t know to ask man this.. Maybe woman must to be more demanding..
• United States
28 May 09
i guess i'm one of the lucky ones, you see i married a man that helps me around the house. when we first got together we both had a full time + job. so we helped each other out around the house, whatever needed to be done he would do it, and yes even the bathroom if needed. we now have a 1 yr old and i'm a stay at home mom now, yes he even helps now without me having to ask for help he will just do it which i love. he gives me my free time just like i give him his free time. we believe it is a partnership each has to help the other one weather its, cleaning, shopping, yard work what ever the case we are here for each other, my last marriage was not like that i worked and did everything else while he went and did whatever he wanted at anytime. i was miserable never got any sleep. SO I COUNT MYSELF VERY VERY LUCKY.
1 person likes this
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
28 May 09
Hi...and are people who ask why are so many divorces...this is in my opinion one from the important reason for divorce. You was really lucky. and he are lucky too, because you was a divorced woman, free for him
@palonghorn (5485)
• United States
28 May 09
I have been in plenty of relationships (marriages) that even though I worked too, I took care of the house and kids too. And then they wonder why I was so tired lol Well duh, I was doing the same as working two jobs! I am now engaged, and we have discussed everything, and he told me early on, this is not just a marriage, it is a partnership, we will both be working, and our jobs are not only mentally draining, but also physically demanding, he is a structural firefighter and I am a wildland firefighter, He made sure I understood that we will both be taking care of cleaning the house, and other household duties, there won't be any kids to take care of as they are grown. So, no we won't be living by that 'rule'.
1 person likes this
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
28 May 09
Because you have experience you must don t make same mistake again, communication must to be everytime between 2 persons, woman and man.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
28 May 09
Yes, the man should work, especially when both of them are working. I know that how tired I will feel after returning from work. It is difficult for me to do all the work at home. Luckily my husband helps me a lot, especially in cleaning, which I am not good at.
1 person likes this
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
28 May 09
hi,mean that your husband is a open mind, and care about you...
@anniefannie (1743)
• United States
29 May 09
i think that a man should help out with house chores if they both work out side of the home.some think they would be doing womans work and some are just to lazy to help out at home.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
29 May 09
both are working outside of the home....both should be working inside the home. I'm not saying it has to be 50/50 but the couple should be working together on whatever works for them. There is no way that one should be feeling that they are doing more than their share of the workload. That just leads to resentment and trouble for the relationship.
@hanah87 (1846)
• Malaysia
29 May 09
Man and woman should helping each other.Tere should be not that only woman do all the work.I think man should help too.But i cannot accept when man is not working and let his wife go to work.I cant respect this kind of man,they are lazy and just want take profit from their wife.Thank you.
@vaseron (23)
• Australia
29 May 09
I don't have a job since moving here in Sydney, Australia with my wife, who has a job already for a year. I resigned from my work in the Philippines just to be with her. But bad timing due to the recession, it's extremely hard to find a job now. I'm planning to go back home. For me personally, I don't think a man should work at home (full-time).. it's just crazy..I don't know, but that's my opinion.
• United States
29 May 09
In my house we both work, and we both do the dishes, yard work, cleaning, and everything else. We practically see each other most of day as week since we work so close together. I wouldn't have it any other way - if one person is doing more than thier fair share, they will be tired of it and there will be problems.
• United States
29 May 09
I completely agree with you. I've been both a stay at home mom and a working mom at different times. Well, the one thing that doesn't change is my husband's attitude about helping out. I raise the kids, clean the house, cook the food, make sure he has clothes to wear. I'm not claiming to be the best at any of these things, but the only way I've found to get help is to force it. Then, if they do one little task they expect a cookie and a pat on the back for it. In my opinion, both people should contribute equally. Otherwise, you're just being taken advantage of and underappreciated. Men seem to have been raised with no responsibility. I think that's the cause for so many unfunctional men out there. A lot of them wouldn't even cook their own meals if there wasn't a woman around to do it.
• Canada
28 May 09
I think that housework should depend on what works for the couple, not what is traditional. My husband is better at a lot of household things than I am, hense he does a lot of the housework. He also cooks, because he loves to cook. Hubby's retired, and we both work at home (self employed) so we both bring in an income. I don't think there should be gender roles. Both should share in the hosehold chores.