Do you think ages matters?

China
May 29, 2009 5:02am CST
Hello Mylottors, Have you even been in love or in a relationship with someone who is much younger or much oldder than you? The ages gap should be 9-15 or 15+ years. Do you think ages matters? I've been in a relationship with a man who is 9 years oldder than me, i have to end the realtion because of my parents. My mom against us to be together, i was facing losing my family or him at that time, so i chose my family and lost him. What about you? Do you have the same experience like me? In your opinions, is ages maters to you??
3 people like this
21 responses
@turones (206)
• Philippines
29 May 09
i went through this kind of experience before. my family i against my relationship with a man who is 13 years older than me. but he is kind and a very nice person. i fought for him and told my family that i've made up my mind and that i've already agreed to marry him. he's my husband now and my family got to know him better that they now like him more than me :D
2 people like this
• China
29 May 09
Hi Turones, You did the right thing! I am happy to hear the happy ended you told me. I think you have a stronger personality than i am. I don't want to hurt my mom, so i gave up, i envy you for what you did!
@turones (206)
• Philippines
29 May 09
i understand how you feel and i believe that you've been through a tough situation. it's not always easy to choose between love and family and no matter which one you choose, somebody will surely get hurt.
29 May 09
I'm 26 and with a 41 yr old. Very much in love and very much on the same wavelength. I think sometimes a younger woman needs an older man just for adult conversation. Every lad I went out with around my age was either a moron or acted like a child. I've now been with my partner for nearly six years and we have two beautiful boys together. So I personally think an age gap is the best way to go.
2 people like this
• China
29 May 09
Hi Krystolic, That's very sweeet of your family.Thanks for sharing your story with us, i know do believe that love is everything!
@frankjoe (27)
• China
30 May 09
Hello,vivianchen, so I guess chen is your family name,am I right?~~ Maybe unlike most of the others here in Mylot,I'd like to give you a different voice. I think a proper age gap is OK,maybe the gap should at 3~6,and in your situation,9is too much big.
1 person likes this
• China
1 Jun 09
Hi Frankjoe, Thanks for your responding! Yes, Chen is my family, and i think we are from the same country? Yes, 9 is a little too big,that's why my family is so against, they are more worry about the long term life.
• United States
30 May 09
Hmmmm ... now that I'm in my 50's, age is a very relative thing for me. I think that others have suggested, it's less about age, and more about maturity. I don't think I would have very many interests in common to maintain a relationship with a teenager. But a woman in her 30's could easily have many common interests with me -assuming that she's interested at all. So let's say that I'm 55 (I'm rounding down) and the woman is 30, then there's a 25 age difference. I don't think this would really raise too many eyebrows. Or when I'm 75 and she is 50, again I wouldn't expect too much resistance from her parents or society. BUT, if she was 16 and I was 41 (the same 25 years age difference), well I would expect this to be the talk of the town and for her parents to be a bit concerned about the relationship. And frankly, I wouldn't blame them for wanting to wring my neck. So it's all a bit relative. Now to make things even more interesting, in many foreign countries there is less of a stigma associated with age differences. In some Asian cultures for instance, some parents might actually want their young daughter to marry a man who was mature, had a good job, and could provide for the wife and the extended family. In the end, it is a good choice to select family. You will only have one of them in life. Relationships on the other hand, tend to be a little more plentiful.
• China
1 Jun 09
Hi GraySprit, Thank you very much for your opinion. Thanks for supporting my choice. Yes, it's hard to make a choice between the lover and family, but you can find lover again, but you only have your family once in your life!
@chapstek (86)
• Philippines
29 May 09
Hello there vivianchen! For me, what your age is not a prerequisite of love and relationship. I think loving someone older is quite nice because of the things you can learn from him/her through your relationship together. Also, being younger does not mean that you are less experienced than your partner. I think it depends on how you both view your life together and for that mere reason, whatever your ages are, you both connect to a single point where you and your partner are equal in every aspect by the power of love. But on some aspects, I somewhat think that age does matter in the sense that for me, adults and young ones have different views on love and relationship. I think adults are more serious and young ones are more on play. That is just my opinion but I don't really think that will significantly affect the relationship of partners with large age gaps because in a relationship, the two must adapt to one another's being. As I have said, they will connect to a single point where they are both equal in every aspect by the power of love. So in conclusion, for me, age may matter in some point but it does not really affect how the partners handle their relationship. :)
1 person likes this
• China
1 Jun 09
Hi Chapstek, Thanks for your responding. i think i am 100% agree with you, you have a very good point there!
29 May 09
I'm 34 and my ex boyfriend, who I am still extremely close to, is 45. His age makes no difference to me in the slightest, as we have loads in common. I think that we r so close that we will end up back together soon. He is one of the most interesting people i've met since he has some amazing stories about his army days. I think that if u like a person and have things in common (he is my tattooist so lots to talk about there) then age has no relevence at all.
1 person likes this
29 May 09
Also, if u are happy then ur family should be too. 9 years is not a huge gap and if that person made u happy then ur family should be made up for u. If u r unhappy, for goodness sake get him back! Ur family will come round, if they dont then focus on ur own happiness!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 May 09
Age doesn't really matter if both parties love and trust each other. I used to be in a relationship with an older guy which was 12 years older than me. I broke up with my bf as I find out that he was lying to me. He said that he was divorced a long time ago but actually he was still married that time! It happened twice to me already so I don't go for matured men anymore. I am in a serious relationship with my bf who is same age as me. I think that's the best, to be with someone with your same age as you will have both likes and common things. You don't have to worry if others will look at you rather than being with an older guy which is mostly discriminated by the culture.
1 person likes this
• China
29 May 09
Hi Sophie, I am sorry about your ex, i think love is blind,it will let you lost your sense of distingush people. But i'm glad to hear that you have a nicer boyfriend now. The thing i hate most is lying to me. I can't take that, so i think you did the right thing!
• Philippines
29 May 09
As the saying goes: Age doesn't matter when it comes to love. When you love someone you will accept him or her whatever he or she is: is he older or not, is she pretty or not, is he rich or not, or whatever related questions may rise with regards to having relation with someone. I for one once consider age as part of my basis in having relationship with someone, what i wanted before is the guy at least older than me for 2-5 years but not 9 years and above that is too old i think. That is why some of my relationship with younger guys doesn't work out and last for long because i don't want to make relationship with guys younger than me. Because what i believe then is that younger guys are immatured and not that sensitive. But I was wrong, age doesn't matter. It's the experience, upbringing, personality, environment, beliefs, principles, education, religion and other factors may affect the totality of being a person DOES. There are people who are young but is matured enough and responsible enough to be a partner. And there are still young people that are immatured emotionally, socially, physically and spiritually. There are people who are older but still immatured and irresponsible though not all because majority of them have learned from their mistakes as time goes by. Being a person depends on the factor I have mentioned in paragraph three above. The deeper or the more you have it the better person you are. Therefore for me, AGE DOESN'T MATTER. IT'S HOW YOU RELATE WITH EACH OTHER THAT MATTERS.
• China
29 May 09
Hi Cajandabcecilia, Thank you very much for your long post. Yours might be the longest post i've ever received in mylot. But i do agree your saying, age doesn't matter. It's how your realte with each other matters!
@xParanoiax (7005)
• United States
30 May 09
Even a bare year and two month difference can cause problems sometimes, with those around you. I personally don't give a dang if I love them and we're compatible. Family or love? Love, no question. I don't owe my family anything, let alone my choices in my life.
1 person likes this
@aikhong (664)
• Malaysia
30 May 09
Oh i think having relationship with the gap of 9 nears above is a bit hard, i'm afraid the age gap is too big. Difference of two to five years for me are still fine but shouldn't be more than that. This is because if the age difference is too big, there maybe be some difference in the thinking or perception between the two persons. However, these are just my opinion. Maybe there're lots of people who doesn't really care much about all these and they'll say that love is blind and age is not a matter at all. Anyway, down to the reality, i think there isn't much of the relations with big age difference last long. Part of the reasons are maybe due to objection from family and also due to the difference in their thinking.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 May 09
yea actually it does matter to me because i wouldnt want to date someone that was older than me i mean really who the hell would???
1 person likes this
@kanecn (150)
• China
30 May 09
I haven't been in love with someone who is much younger than me, but my friend has. His wife is ten years younger than him, and they get along well. In my opinion, a ages gap of 10 years doesn't matter, 20 years will be matter.
1 person likes this
@wakinsey (141)
• United States
30 May 09
I didn't have that type of experience. My wife is 27 and I'm 36 so we are 9 years apart. Age differences of 6 or more years is common in her family. For me, if you are under 18 years old, you can discuss it with your parents, but they have the final say in the matter. Beyond 18 years old, it's your life and your decision.If you feel you are mature enough to handle the age difference and all that comes with it, then have at it. Just make sure you understand the differences in your two generations.
1 person likes this
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
29 May 09
Well yes in some ways age dose matter, becuse if the age gap is a 10 or 20 year difference there can be mental maturity difference that can surface later in the relationship for example if a woman is say 41 she maybe ready for kids and a 21 or 22 year old may not be they may not be ready for the same things as someone who's much older is ready for, but I think if they age cap is only 4 or 5 years then maybe thats not so bad, I think it depends on the person and situation and also were the two people are in there lives.
1 person likes this
@Traceyr76 (107)
• United States
29 May 09
Hello I'm 32 and my husband is 50.I dont think of age as anything but a number. I have always dated older men and my family is ok with it. There used to it from me..lol the first time they thought what are u thinking but by the 2nd they never asked. They just accepted the man. Now I'm married to an older man and they think nothing of it. I would marry my husband all over again.
1 person likes this
@soleya (1102)
• Latvia
29 May 09
I like your question very much. I have never been in a relationship with such a big age gap, but I think that it is very hard. I don't think that these people who do have such relationships don't have anything in common.
1 person likes this
• India
29 May 09
No i don't think age matters at all. Age is just a number. It doesn't matter if if you are still young at heart. They say " Age is how old the heart feels". I think everybody feels love the same and it doesn't matter how old you are as long as the love is true
1 person likes this
@wcainsue (38)
• China
29 May 09
In the feelings ,the age is not the most important issue. Important things is that both the degree of understanding of life .Although age is not a problem ,however ,the gap will be too great in many ways ,have different interpretationgs . Experienced and not enperienced the things people look at their point of view is not the same as love is not the distance . But the reality is that some ,therefore,when a return to real life problem will arise when life is not love but we learned a lot.
1 person likes this
@MartyM (95)
• United States
29 May 09
I don't think age matters one bit!! My sister and brother-in-law are 15 years apart and have been married for 27 years. Love doesn't have an age 'attached' to it. Are you happy?..THAT'S what counts.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
29 May 09
nop.. i dont think age is matters to me.. as long as i still breath, its not a big deal for me...
1 person likes this