Will you make freinds with your dreamlover's girlfreind?

China
May 30, 2009 4:58am CST
Unfortunately, I fell for a man who has a girlfreind. He is very loyal to her and she is really lovely. However, I told him how I feel about him and after his big "no", we decided to remain freinds. Although I stop having fantasy, I know I need some time to get over him. Just a minute ago, his girlfreind somehow become my Msn freind. I am suprised and scared. I am sure she knows nothing about my crush on his boyfreind,and I am sure I cannot take him away, but I just don't know how I should behave in front of her. She seems to be so nice and I really like her.Should I make freinds with her?Do I good enough for her? And what will the man think of this? I am in a great dilemma, may I have your advice?
2 people like this
9 responses
• United States
30 May 09
I would defeniatly try to be friends with her, well if she was friendly and a possible good match for friendship. You just have to remember that she didn't do anything wrong :( She just met a guy, and fell in love. Unfortunatly, so did you-she just did a little sooner :( If I were you, I would defeniatly want to be friends with the girl...because it sounds like you're friends with the guy, and you want him to be happy right? And if you think she knows you like him maybe you two should get together and talk about it...maybe let her know you don't want to try and steal him away (if that's the case). And you might find that you and her really do get along, and she might even be able to help you get over your crush (maybe she'll have a cute friend to introduce you too ;D) lol. Good luck!
• China
30 May 09
Yeah, same here! To tell you the truth, I finally decided to give up the guy because I know how great the girl is. I don't want her to get hurt. I think they are a good match.And if possible, we three can be good freinds. Thanks for your support!
• United States
31 May 09
Wow! That's really great of you :) Very unselfish and respectable! Good for you. I know how hard it is to get over a good guy, no matter how good the reasons.
@jbrooks0127 (2329)
• United States
30 May 09
There is really no reason why you could not be friends with her. You may have a problem however as you get closer and begin to see them together more. I would advise one thing however. Tell her how you feel about her boyfriend and how he feels about you. Be the first to tell her this so she will not think you have an ulterior motive. If her boyfriend tells her first she may not be so friendly after that. You must be truthful with her just like any other friend. That may not be as easy as you think. However before you do anything be sure of your real reasons for becoming friends with her. Both you and she deserve your honesty. After that you should be able to be very good friends. After all you both have the same taste in men. *smile*
• China
31 May 09
Hi jbrooks0127, I think you are offering a good and sound advice here. You are right, if I decide to make friend with her, I should be frank and honest. That is really important, thanks for your reminding!
@spalladino (17927)
• United States
30 May 09
This girl may in fact know about your crush on her boyfriend and that is why she wants to be friends with you. She may feel that she can keep an eye on you better if the two of you are friends. I actually think that the best thing for you to do is to avoid both of them as I see little good that can come from your friendship with either one of them. How are you supposed to get over this guy if you're still in contact with him and adding the girlfriend to the mix is only going to make it harder for you. I'm not suggesting that you be rude to either one of them but maybe being "really busy" is the best option.
• China
30 May 09
I must thank you for your full consideration. I can feel your good intention. Like what I said, they are good people and I treasure them both. Therefore, I choose to believe that the girl just wants a friend. I would rather to take the risk than missing a true friend. And before that I will clear my mind and make sure I have the proper attitude to the guy. Maybe this decision is not mature enough, I guess I would leave no regret.
• United States
30 May 09
I don't see a problem with being her friend, but then again don't try to become BFF with her either. Keep the conversations between you and her strickly about other stuff. Don't try to ask anything about him or like if his birthday is coming up don't try to get involved with what she is doing for his birthday. He shouldn't be a problem with you becoming friends with her. I mean in the long run he might not even like her and consider you a possibilty.
• China
30 May 09
Right, they are good people, I treasure them both.I guess I can be her freind without making damage to their relationship. And I would not plan the future, I mean no one knows what is gonna happen. I just need to follow my heart and do the right thing. I hope we all end up happy! Thank you~~
• Philippines
30 May 09
If I have a crush on a girl and her boyfriend tries to be a friend of mine, why not? We're just friends and no relationship or courting ever happened so why become insecure? It's just a crush, I know you'll get over it. If it's TRUE LOVE, then it's a different story...
• China
30 May 09
well, your words get me to think that maybe I should figure out my feeling towards the guy, and start this freindship after I am sure nobody will get hurt... Thanks!
@Archie0 (4672)
30 May 09
I think its a weird thought of making frendship with my boyfriends girlfriend no ways, she will be my enemy in that case infact.i cant just see her as my friend from my point of view.its just not possible for me, even if i be her friend there will be an insecurity within me that somewere she will get over my guy again, it will be i am inviting problems with my own wish.it is better that i dont do it.
• China
30 May 09
I see your point.Maybe I should think it over from the girlfreind's perspective. Thanks for your response!
• Philippines
31 May 09
Even if you mean good at being friends with her, its very hard, eventually in time you would try to compare her with you. And thats a bad way to go. I think you should just take time to get over her man before really having any relationship with her. Im sure there are many people who can be your friend, with a less complicated situation.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
31 May 09
I think that under the circumstances that you should avoid both of them. You still have feelings for him and I think at this point that being too close to either of them would make it more difficult for you to get over him. Maybe down the road when you've moved on and don't still have any feelings for him then maybe things could be different.
@amber89 (50)
• China
31 May 09
u a nice girl.i think u must be as lovely and kind as the girl u mentioned. hope someday you would get a good boy as ur bf.