My Mom Is Petrified Of Her Surgery Tomorrow

@CatsandDogs (13964)
United States
June 1, 2009 9:30pm CST
As most of you already know, my mom had a brain stem stroke last year in April '08 which she almost died three times. She's also has had kidney disease for many many years. Right now one kidney is working some and the other is working pretty good but both are full of large stones which can not be removed because mom can't be put under or she will die for sure because of the stroke so the doctors have to put her in a twilight sleep to do anything for her but removing the stones is not an option now since she can't be put under so she has to have stints put in her kidneys to keep them functioning properly. This is the part we don't understand about the stints, they can be taken out at the doctors office but to have them put in, she has to go to "same day surgery" to have one put in. Go figure. The last time they put one in her was about 7 or 8 months ago and she did fine then although we were scared out of our minds that she wouldn't come back but she did, thank God! Now, they're suppose to be changed every 6 months so she goes in tomorrow to have the one taken out and another put in. She's going to be put in a twilight sleep like before but she's absolutely terrified that she won't wake up and what if's like she may get a different anesthesiologist this time and said that she's not ready to go. You see, she saw a specialist in Durham a couple of months after getting home from the hospital and rehab from her stroke and the specialist said they wouldn't touch her because if they put her under then she'd never wake back up and that they like saving people not kill them. So having that thought in her mind, she's terrified that the anesthesiologist will put her too far under and she'll never wake up again. She's crying so hard right now out of fear. Hubby and I took her and dad out to dinner tonight to help get her mind off of it and after we were done, the subject of tomorrow came up and she burst into tears and basically ran out the door, I was behind her so she wouldn't fall for she's still dizzy. She's embarrassed because she's crying in front of people and thinks she's being silly about the whole thing and I've tried to reassure her all I know how and it's not helping because I know how she's feeling because I'm on the other side of the fence meaning, I don't want to lose my mom! She goes in at 6:30 tomorrow morning and her surgery is at 8:30 and I'm going to be there at 7:30 and follow her down to surgery so I can let the anesthesiologist know to NOT put her under. I want to make DAMN sure he/she/it understands that or I'll have someone tell he/she/it for the message will get to them one way or another then I'm going to wait in the waiting room till the doctor comes out with his report. Please please, say a prayer for my mom tonight and tomorrow!! Please pray that she not be so scared or frightened and that she pulls through this alright. She's not ready to go yet and I'm not ready to let go of my mom!
7 people like this
11 responses
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
2 Jun 09
I will pray that everything goes well. I can understand why she would be so scared. My son has a pic line for his antibiotics and so they can draw blood. They have to put it in and clean it in a hospital setting, but when they decide to take it out, the home health nurse can take it out. They say it is not as dangerous taking it out. I wonder if that is what it is with your mom.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
2 Jun 09
You're probably right but you'd think that a doctors office is sterile enough with all the equipment and sterilization going on. But then again, they have to put her to sleep, twilight with my mom, to put it in but when they take it out, she's wide awake. It's weird but what ever they say is what we'll do..... for the most part. lol I don't completely trust hospitals of any kind until I get a good vibe from them myself. We've had too darned many bad times with the staff to trust them like we should be able to. Thanks so much for praying on my mom's behalf!! I mean that!! Thank you!!
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
2 Jun 09
It is so hard to find a doctor that you like and feel you can trust. The doctor we have now for my son, I really like and he prepared us for what we are going through, before we ever did surgery. The only thing is that none of us were prepared for him to lose his pump and be stiff and uncomfortable again. We are sticking with them, as they have been great and treat my son as a person instead of an object.
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12648)
• United States
2 Jun 09
You did the right thing by asking all of us for prayer. I would be most honored to pray for your mom, in fact I already said a prayer for her. I have come to mylot and asked for prayer several times, it makes you feel good knowing that people all over are praying for you. Cats your mom is going to be just fine, she is one tough cookie. Thats where you get your toughness from. I do know how scary it is to have your mom having surgery. Surgery of any kind is very scary, whether its for yourself or someone you love. Good luck tomorrow, let us know how she does.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
2 Jun 09
Oh Polly! She's so scared!! I feel so helpless in helping her calm her fears!! To see her cry like she did tonight just breaks my heart in millions of pieces!! I'm glad that she let it go but I hate seeing it because it does tear me up! You see, hubby was going to go up to their house today alone to work on the tractor that we bought off of dad and for other reasons too and dad called me and asked if I was coming up with hubby and I told him no and that's when he asked me to come because mom was so torn up about tomorrow and that she's crying and carrying on so I told him I'd be there as soon as I could. Sure enough, mom looked haggered like she'd been crying and I hugged her tight and told her she's going to be fine because she's had it done once before why would this time be any different but she's just petrified!! I would be too if I were in her shoes and I AM because I don't want to lose her!! On the way up there, I sent a text to my two brothers and my foster brother and a few others to call her because she needs support. My asinine brother text me back and then called mom before I could text him again with the same message (I was going to add, what part did you not understand?! Duh?!) but he was talking to mom so I deleted what I was texting. Then mom told me tonight that my asinine brother and my aunt want me to call them after the surgery is over to let them know how it went. My asinine brother said or to text him if I didn't want to talk to him. Well guess what, he just may get a phone call from DAD because I DON'T want to talk to him or I'll text him if dad doesn't want to call him. Like my foster brother said, it's his turn to make amends, not mine and believe me, it's going to stay that way too! I'm not kissing his @ss for any reason so he might as well get that through his thick skull. Anyway, thank you so much for praying on my mom's behalf!! I think she'll be fine too but I hate seeing her so torn up over it. She was crying so hard tonight! She has no idea what affect she has on me!! But in any case, thanks for praying for her!! I promise to let you know how it all goes. I promise!!
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (102464)
• United States
2 Jun 09
It is understandable that you guys are focusing on all that can go wrong, because those are the types of things that get sensationalized. It is also normal for her emotions to swing so wildly. I will remember to pray for her right now. You let us know how things are going as soon as you can. Hugs to all of you.
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
2 Jun 09
That is true GG, they do tell you all that can go wrong or WILL go wrong beforehand and it does do things to the person's mind. Thank you so much for praying on mom's behalf!!!! Our waitress tonight said she'd start a prayer chain too which is such a relief because the more the better! I promise to let you know how it all goes. Hugs to you too GG!! You've been a real and true friend to me!! Thank you so much!!
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
2 Jun 09
HI CATS, Prayer is said for your mom. I'm soooooo sorry u both have to go through this terrifying experience. BLESS BOTH OF YOUR HEARTS!! Please let me know how she does . i have just now gotten your message so i assume it was this morn when she was having the procedure. GOD BLESS YOU BOTH.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
3 Jun 09
Hi Antiquelady, Thank you soooo much for praying for my mom!! It was horrible and very scary especially seeing her in the state of mind she was in!! But now it's past us and she's home resting and we're basically are trying to move on with our lives of things to do which never seem to end. lol God Bless You too sweetie!!
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
4 Jun 09
I'm so glad it's over & done with & she's good. I know u both are relieved. hope she stays well for a long time.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16194)
2 Jun 09
I really feel for your mum right now, I think the worst thing about a pending operation is the fears that come right before it. Considering all your poor mum has been through this past year I can well imagine that she is terrified. I am also due to have an operation this year which is classed as major surgery, I have been told that I could be under for some hours and the thought of it all terrifies me, the fear of not waking up is the worst one. I try not to think about it and I do ok but I guess once I get the date I will be a nightmare. I just hope it all comes last minute like it did the last time!! I am sure your mum will be OK but I will be thinking of her anyway. xx
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
3 Jun 09
I hope you let us know when your surgery is so we can pray for you as well! What type of surgery is it that you're having? I want to thank you for praying for my mom! She made it through and is now home resting.
@gemini_rose (16194)
9 Jun 09
Glad that your mum is ok after her surgery. Mine is all to do with a hysterectomy I had its caused me a lot more problems in that area and they have to be put right. The consultant said that he is not sure what I will need doing until I am on the table but I am likely to be under for some time. Great. I think the thing that I am a bit wary of is that when I had my hysterectomy, my blood pressure dropped that low that I slept for 48 hours after and they were quite worried about me!!
@Jenniferp (210)
• United States
2 Jun 09
I know that this is scary for you and her, but I am sure that everything will be fine. Your mom will be in my thoughts, I wish you guys the best tomorrow :)
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
3 Jun 09
Thank you! The surgery went well and she's at home resting comfortably. Thanks for your well wishes and the same goes to you!
@Ithink (10500)
• United States
2 Jun 09
I can understand why she is scared and you too! I cant imagine having to have surgery under these circumstances. Surgery is scary enough when you don't have this to worry about. Thinking of you and your family!
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
3 Jun 09
Thanks for thinking of us!! Mom made it through with flying colors and is now home resting comfortably, thank God!
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
2 Jun 09
I will definitely say a prayer for your mum. If a lot of us put all our energies into this, your mum will have a much better chance of getting through this without a hitch. So count me in I will say a prayer right now and later on before bed. I will keep it up until you let us know that she is fine. Take care and all the best.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
3 Jun 09
Thanks soooo much paula for praying for my mom!! God heard all the prayers and let her stay with us a while longer. She's home now resting comfortably although she's feeling a little bit spacey because of the medication to put her in the twilight sleep but that too shall pass in a couple of days.
1 person likes this
@Bevsue (251)
• United States
2 Jun 09
I had the stent procedure when I had a terrible kidney infection years ago. I was completely awake but just relaxed enough that it wasn't painful. It took all of 5 or 6 minutes. More than likely your Mom will be just fine from this.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
3 Jun 09
The stent surgery wasn't the point although I do understand what you meant. My mom's had the stent surgery a number of times before she had a stroke but since she's had a stroke, she can't be put under like normal and even twilight is dangerous for she could never wake back up but it's much safer than going completely under. However, all turned out ok and she's home resting.
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
2 Jun 09
Cats she will be in my thoughts always and I certainly know what she is going through as I fear the same thing Give her a Hug from me and a big Hug to you to
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
3 Jun 09
Awww gabs! You're so sweet! Thanks! As you probably know by now, she made it and all is fine now, thank God! But gosh, what a scare!
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
2 Jun 09
Ok Sweetie, I hope you and your Mom can relax a little. The anesthesiologist is not actually putting your mom under. They give her a local, which is mainly a pain medication and numbs the area they need to work on. Some people don't even fall asleep. I've had several locals and when they were implanting my Pacemaker, I was awake and listening to the doctors and assistants conversation. There was a sheet blocking us and when I responded to their conversation, I thought the doctor was going to have a heart attack. Trust me sweetie, it's really just taking a nap. Even when you have to have teeth pulled and put under they give you all the warnings. I don't want to make light of yours and your Mom's fears but I will pray for you both. Please be sure you let us know how she did. Big Hugsssss leenie
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
2 Jun 09
Oh leenie! Bless your heart!! I didn't think you'd come on here tonight but I'm SO glad you did!! Thank You!! I do agree with you but it's what the specialist said that scared mom. She's so scared that she won't wake up under any circumstances or that she'll get a different anesthesiologist and be given too much. She's had it done once before and thank God she came out of it "WHEW!" but she's afraid that this one time she may not and that's got to be pretty darned scary for her. I know you're not making light of it but trying to calm the fears so I do understand what you're saying! But with the treatment mom got when she was in this hospital before, I don't trust the staff at all so I'll be on my toes this time and will be very armed because this time, damn it, I have hearing aids!!