when should you get married? provided that you are financially stable already?

Philippines
June 2, 2009 5:53pm CST
A friend of mine can't stop talking about marriage, and she always tells us that when the right guy comes she would not wait for years to get married, a year or 2 would be enough. I don't agree with her though, She talks about soulmates and beeing meant for each other, in God's time and all of this stuff. I still believe relationship takes time to build, and you should never rush things like marriage, cause once you're there,. you can never go back ( divorce is not legal here ). This poses the question, WHEN should you get married? provided that you are already financially stable? Does the length of the relationship really matters?
7 people like this
23 responses
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
2 Jun 09
Well may I comment on one thing you've said before answering your questions? Divorce is not legal where you are? I wish other places had that as well. Divorce is legal here in the United States. Now on to your questions. I think that a person should get married when they feel they are ready and sometimes that means not being financially stable. The length of the relationship doesn't matter but one should wait and make sure they are ready for marriage. My fiance and I got engaged basically after we met, and though we wanted to rush into things his family advised us otherwise. Lol, I say his family because his mom was the first one to know that we were engaged other then a friend, I believe. Well I hope that your friend does meet the right person for her. I wouldn't worry about her, after all she has you as a friend doesn't she? You won't let her rush into things! For now just let her dream, but remember to be there when she needs you the most!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
Hi SomeCowgirl! Here in the Philippines, divorce is not legal, though you can have annulment.. but that is also frowned upon by people. =)
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@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
3 Jun 09
annulment is splitting of property, correct? Well I can see where that is frowned upon. I appreciate your comment back to me. I hope you have a wonderful day.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jun 09
In my country, divorce is also not legal. We only have what they call annulment. I really don't know the difference between the two because it seems to be the same. After the marriage is annulled the couple may marry their new partners and their properties were divided. I think that the length of the relationship will not count because there are a lot of couple who were together for almost five to ten years before the got married but still ended up filing for a divorce or annulment while there are some who got married right away but are still happily married so it really depends on the couple. For me the right timing of getting married is when both of you are emotionally, physically, mentally and financially ready. Or when you find someone that you are willing to spend your lifetime with.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jun 09
I think the main difference with divorce and annulment, is that annulment has tighter rules, and you have to have a legal/valid reason for it to be approved by a judge. With Divorce I think any reason would do.. as long as both parties consented to the divorce. Thanks for responding! =)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
I think I'll get married when the right man comes, both of us are financially stable and most importantly we both have the blessings of our parents and our family will be secured enough to let go of us to be with this person for the rest of our lives. I'd love to see that coming, especially when I will leave my mom happy and okay with the man I chose to be with, and I became responsible enough for my studies and to them before I start my own family.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jul 09
That is really true. The blessings of our parents, and the rest of the family is really important.. I never want to get married not without my family beside me. I would want to spend the special day with all my loved ones. Thanks for responding to my discussion! =)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
Every girl's dream is to get married one day with their "One true love". But when exactly is the right time for it? I think it's really hard to tell, apart from being financially stable.. It's a matter of finding the right one to spend the rest of your life with.. But we do have somewhat a set of plan when we wanted to get married.. And we don't know yet to whom we will get married with.. And that's the big question right there... If given the right guy and the life to support our future family, then I'd like to get married at least the age of 28.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jul 09
I think 28 is the ideal age for marrying, cause by then you should be financially stable. I sure hope I will get married by the time I'm 28.. well, i still have 4 years to go. Thanks for responding. =)
@kingxu (44)
• China
3 Jun 09
I haven't get married now,and I won't marry before fully understanding my girlfriend.I don't know how long should be taken to know each other,but I think two years is necessary.Nobody would like to live with a person they don't really love for a life,and nobody would like to divorce and marry many times.Just my opinion.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jul 09
I agree, you shouldn't marry until you are sure that you really know the person whom you are going to spend your lifetime with ( cause there's no divorce here. LOL ) ... Thanks for responding!
• United States
3 Jun 09
I cannot say that there is a really good time to get married. Other people rush into getting married and end up really happy and contented while others ended up separating. There are those who waited for years before finally settling down but then after so so years (some months, they broke up, and some end up otherwise. What I am trying to say is that to make you marriage last a task that the couple should work hard a lot.
• Philippines
7 Jun 09
I agree in that a marriage is a task and the couple should work for it to last.. It is not just all lovey-lovey things.. it is hard work.. Thanks for responding! =)
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
3 Jun 09
Don't jump into marriage too soon. Only when you are financially and mentally ready then you think of taking the plunge. Tying knot at an older age contributes to marital stability.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jul 09
I agree, but most old people won't let you marry at an older age, cause they say it will be very hard for you to start a family, and all that stuff.
@misshoney (973)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
hello ingking:-) well in my opinion you can't realy plan the right age and time to get married. meeting someone and then having that feeling that he or she is the one is spontaneous and instant..it just happens. you can't force or plan it. that is what i experienced. marriage is the farthest thing in mymind then it happened to me. i just felt that i am ready and that i am with the right perposn. still, there is nothing wrong with having a plan so one is ready and prepared.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jul 09
wow. you are lucky. well, I know that I have found the right guy, we are just not financially stable yet, and i don't think we will be in the near future. It's just hard for us to be financially ready to get married because we still have a lot of other priorities and responsibilities. Thanks for responding!
@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
3 Jun 09
Some people get married really quickly and it works out great. But I believe in getting to know a person a bit more. People tend to show only their best qualities when they are courting people and after 6 months, their less desirable qualities often start showing. And who wants to be involved in a hasty marriage, maybe with children, only to find out something about the other person that they just can't live with?
1 person likes this
• Israel
3 Jun 09
one should get married only when one is financial stable in life.If you are not financial stable,when married the relationship may go for a toss,as you are unable or think twice before going for a child.Also at times you may get tempted to go for abortion,as you think there wud not be enough to bring up the child.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
Yes! Relationship really takes time to build and getting Married need to be decided very well. Once you get married, there are things that you need to give up. There is a big change the way you deal with things and your attention is now focused on your family. If youre fun of going out at night, attend parties every week, hanging out and drink with friends, then, these are just the few activities that you need to minimize. Come to think of it. Think it not just twice but million times. If you think that your partner is already the one that is meant for you and both of you are financially stable, then, go for it!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jul 09
I agree with you that before getting married, you should think about it a million times over. I think it's a big responsibility, and your life will definitely change. I guess being ready financially is not the only thing that should be taken into consideration. Thanks for responding!
@zzyw87 (1254)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
For me, the length of the relationship matters. I would never get married if I have been with the guy for only a year or two. If we are already dating for at least three years, then it would be okay with me to get married. I agree with your opinions. I think that a couple should really get to know each other especially each other's flaws before they get married. Marriage is such a crucial decision and is a huge step to take in a relationship. Another criteria of mine before getting married is to also be financially stable. That includes having a house and car I personally own and some cash in the bank in case of emergencies.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Jun 09
I agree. I have a cousin who has only been with a guy for 3 months, and they want to get married already.. they are not financially stable and we had no idea how they would get by with their current financial status.. Our whole family talked her out of the planned marriage because we all think that it is still too early for her to marry this guy and they don't even have enough money to pay for their own marriage.. I guess.. if you really love each other, why should you rush things out? If you think that you'd be together forever.. then you'd have forever to plan your marriage.. right? thanks for responding! =)
@mye_drew (182)
• Israel
5 Jun 09
we need to be stable in life b4 we get to married..
1 person likes this
• India
3 Jun 09
I think its better to have some time to know about your partner.Dont go for marriage quickly without knowing each other.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (167859)
• United States
3 Jun 09
I think when you are at a good place and your major issues have been resolved is probably the time to get married. You have to make sure it is right for you. I have been married twice and both peole I think may have been good for me at the time, in some ways, but if I ever get married again, Divorce will not be an option for me, so I will be very careful as to who I marry.
1 person likes this
@thedaddym (1731)
• United States
3 Jun 09
I think you should wait at least a year. I think by then you should know weather or not you truly love that person or not. You should also know enough about that person by then to know if they are trutworrthy and dependable. If you are not sure at that point then tyou should definately wait a little longer. But it really dpends on teh peole. I know a couple of peole who got married after just about a year and their marriages are working out just fne. My wife and I got engaged after 3 months but did not get married for 4 years, but we were still in college.
@becnh83 (806)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
yes this really matters...first you should know whom are you with know her whole personality first in and out his/her side....and if you find her perfectly much on you then go or marry him/her....thats all.......
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
Nice topic to discuss auThor,for me getTing married will n0t be measured on h0w long or short your relati0nship is..Because i beleave if you really love each other even thougH your relati0nship is n0t that l0ng if you really love each other then buT i kn0w there are c0nsiderati0n that you really think twice,thrice or even m0re than that because as youve said when you get married you cant go back because you d0nt have divorse like in our c0untry we d0nt have divorce buT that the really the true meaning of love c0mes in,love is n0t blind it sees buT it d0esnt mind,.There are al0t of things you must folL0w theres always two pathway it will be up to which path your going to take.!I have a neiGhbor who really a l0ng time b0yfriend and girlfriend i think they have 14 years relati0nship before they get to married.BuT when they are married already their marriege only last for three years ,while my cousin she has a boyfriend for only 1 year and then decided to get married and n0w they are still in each others arms .They will celebrate their 10Year anniversary it just only sh0w there is n0 f0rmula in getTing married..,
1 person likes this
• India
3 Jun 09
In my view ur right all relations need time to grow, u should spend enough time with a person u r considering for marriage so that u can understand each other ,its true that in life you dnt have cntl. z .so before going for such a big decision u should spend atleast 2 years with that person
• United States
3 Jun 09
get married when your ready enought to provide a family..
1 person likes this