I am so sad, my good friend had got married and she avoid to meet with mr...WHY?

@icesmile (7172)
Romania
June 2, 2009 11:50pm CST
We was good friends, she was a divorced woman too, many years we meet and talk call each other, i help she a lot when she need it, when she need advices, she all time come to me. One year ago, she find a man who was divorced too, and both in love each other...and step by step they decide to marry. She was afraid because shes family are a old fashion family and don t let she to marry with a man with 2 kids, because she don t have any kid. I was there and i support she all time, and i help she to take a decision, i teach her how to convince shes family , and i insist for she, i talk with shes family to accept. And finaly she get married, and is very happy. BUT, SHE DON T WANT BE FRIEND WITH ME ANY MORE. I WAS SHOKED I ASK SHE A LOT TO SAY WHY SHE HAVE THIS ATTITUDE. YOU KNOW WHAT SHE ANSWER TO ME? THAT SHE WANT TO BE HAPPY AND DON T HAVE TIME FOR FRIENDS TOO, SHES MAN DON T LET SHE TO HAVE FRIENDS, BECAUSE SHE IS MARRIED WOMAN NOW. You can imagine? i helped she to marry, and now, she avoid me. Is fair?
4 people like this
9 responses
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
3 Jun 09
It's one thing that your good friend's husband is possessive and not understanding at all, but it's another thing that your friend could say that to you. Doesn't she think of you as a friend after all...? In this case, I can say that some friends are indeed like that. They will use your kindness without realizing it and whenever in future you try to remind them that at least you have been there for them and for them not to 'throw' you away, they will say that you helped them before not sincerely since you are mentioning it now. And there is also another kind of friend that is filled with inconsistency and ungratefulness. I'm sorry that you are hurt by your friend commenting that way. She is certainly wrong to say that, and personally to me, even if she's scared of her husband and not wanting to be friends with you anymore, she should not have put it so blatantly like that. You are better off without being friends with her anyway, since she cannot appreciate your friendship. Take care, my friend and don't be sad. If you have tried your best and she really doesn't want to be friends, then it's really her loss and not yours.
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
3 Jun 09
YOU know what is very strange? That i help she a lot to be with him, when all family was against this relation, i was person who i incurage , who i support, who all time i make she understand that shes family will accept this relation...step by step...is sad
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
4 Jun 09
I really hope that your friend will realize her mistake before it's too late. For now, I suppose you just play it low down and not looking for her so much.
@pickoy (734)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
Ahh, she married a selfish, over-possessive man. There are guys like that, they want their wife's full attention and love and it seems as though her love will diminish when she shares it with her family or friends. The man has serious issues for social interaction. He must have been rejected many times in his life. I don't understand people like that... and i'm not sure there's much you can do aside from hoping that your friend will find time to spend with you without the knowledge of her husband. It's not fair and its sad that there are people like that.
1 person likes this
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
3 Jun 09
He is possesive, but she is how? i ask she just talk sometimes, or try to keep in touch, nothing more...is shes guilty
@pickoy (734)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
Well if she said that she wants to be happy and does not have time to be with friends anymore, i guess its about time that you keep your distance. You also deserve better friends than her. If she keeps avoiding you like you said, you also deserve to be happy with friends that can give you time.
@macel19 (202)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
If she wants it that way just leave her as of this moment, I mean just give her space and time maybe she still confused or something. Sometimes we really need to give space to other people so that they will come to realized what they have done. I know it's been unfair in your side but just let your friend come to realized what she did is unfair by giving her the time and space.Just dont be too hard for yourself. This is not your fault but your friend's decision. Take it easy, and take it slow.
1 person likes this
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
3 Jun 09
Of course that i ll let she, i don t push she to talk with me, but is not fair, when she need my help i was there for she...
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
Her husband doesn't want her to be friends with you? Why? That's pretty possessive of him. I agree with you that it's not fair, it doesn't seem right. Is there any reason why he wouldn't want your friend to spend time with you? He seems like the jealous type to me. Talk to her again, also make moves to befriend her husband so that he would see you in a different light. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
3 Jun 09
hi, is shes thought i think, i am sure that she is jealouse and is to scared that she can t lose shes man, but is very stupid,i can t understand how a woman think that friendship is so cheap
@vnrsudhan (1514)
• India
3 Jun 09
hi icesmile, its completely unfair my friend.may be her husband is a way too old fashioned and thats why he doesn't wants her not to have any friends.come on now CHEER UP,if you can make an whole old fashioned family to change why can't you change one old fashioned guy.HOPE YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR FRIEND SOON!!!
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
3 Jun 09
Hi, i think that i can t forgive she so easy, she offence me, even shes husband is old fashioned, she must call me and say this, ...i am sure that i can manage withaut she very good, just i am sorry because i trusted in she
@anniefannie (1743)
• United States
4 Jun 09
it is not fair. i have had some friends after they got married they didn't have time to see or talk to me either.i don't believe they were true friends to start with.
• China
4 Jun 09
Hug to you.I am sorry to hear that.Maybe her husband wants her to be a good wife who only cares for him.They have got married,they want you to leave their life space.The best way for you is to find a true love and live happily . Good luck!
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
That's indeed unfair you know!..however..i have also friends like her..what i did...is respect her for what she wants...sice she's happy coz she meet the love of her life..as long as she's happy,that would be great..don't worry in due time,she will be needing you...that's what friends are for, right?...just be there for her.
@jayrene (2713)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
i think the reason why she told you that she dont want to continue your friendship is because her husband may get jealous and it will be the cause of their fight... sometimes its really hard to have a man/woman friendship because most of the time the partners gets jealous if the friends are too close to each other. try to give her time and think of what she had told you, who knows she may drop you a message sometimes and apologize for what she did and explain more her side. yes you did a lot to help her and it seems like she was ungrateful to you, im really sorry that it had happened to you like this. there may be other reasons, she wants to start her family... the man have kids, so she'll probably need more time to adjust to them, that's maybe why she said she doesnt have time for friends... when she had gotten used to her new family life, maybe she can have friends again.