Would you give your boyfriend a third chance?

Philippines
June 3, 2009 1:37am CST
A friend has been bugging me for days now as to what she should do with her boyfriend. Apparently, the guy committed infidelity for the second time(after a gap of four years) and is asking for a third or last chance. To girls out there, if you were in my friend's shoes, would you give a third chance to the guy? My stand on the matter is a big NO. There's no need for a third chance because he literally blew everything already. It's suicide, I told her. But she has a soft heart, she still loves the guy and knows that their families and friends would get sad about it, first and foremost. So, what's your stand on the matter, girls?
2 people like this
5 responses
@ilawise26 (191)
• India
3 Jun 09
Hii edelweiza I absolutely agree with you. Infidelity cannot be excused . You can 't ignore the faith factor in your life partner. Love is long lasting only if you have it for one person in life. If you attention diverts even once ,it means you are not serious. So i will suggest you tell your friend to go out with new people and her girl friends too.Tell her to discover herself and distance her from this guy.I'm sure she'll find a better reliable partner in future. She needs to move out of the current relationship as it has no solidarity. He seems to be a person who likes to have every dish on his plate.Tell her to think practically and tell her parents to support her with the same. Its about life time commitment. For a person who has been unfaithful 3 times , you can only be but sure that its not going to last. He probably came back each time because he was not comfortable with the new flings and returned to his comfort zone each time. But it has been done thrice and hence now he is a serial infidel. DOnt trust him. Tell your friend she needs to apply rational here. She needs to come out of this cycle of infidelity and dejection. Wish you and her all the best. May you succeed in geetin her a new life.
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
i can't agree more. you are absolutely right. i'll show this thread to her one time so she gets a clearer idea. thanks! :)
1 person likes this
• India
4 Jun 09
Actually i thought you would do so~ Hope she gets the point.
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
I was like your friend before but in the end I realize I should not just give my trust to somebody unless they really deserve it. SO I'd say it's a big NO. Even a second chance needs to be proven if he really should be deserving of the trust again. Because it's like he's taking advantage of you already and that is not healthy in a relationship. Otherwise, she'll just get hurt.
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
yeah right, that's what i'm trying to make her understand.thanks for your honest opinion. :)
• United States
4 Jun 09
hahaha, I had was with a guy and I gave him a second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth chance over a period of six years. I was holding on too hard. At the time when I was in the situation it was easy to say "He won't do it again." Now that I've been out of that relationship completely for a couple of years and I have grown on my own as a single and independent woman, I realize he got way too many chances. Your friend is a human being, not a door mat. If their friends and families really get upset, that is not her fault. It is the guys fault, and they should understand that her feelings are important.
@Tessalim (33)
• Malaysia
17 Jun 09
If i were your friend, i would never give him another chance again. Once is enough. No more third or fourth or fifth chance. He does not respect this relationship at all. If she continues to forgive him, he will not repent. In fact, he will repeat the same mistakes because he thinks that he can easily get away after seeking forgiveness. What's the point of holding on to this relationship? Yes, it's very painful when she just breaks up with him but as time goes by she will realize that she has made the right decision of breaking up. I am sure there are better guys out there.
@EMbakes (1142)
• Philippines
6 Sep 16
The main reason why our brain is on top of our heart is because it should be use first. If she won't help herself then most likely, she'll suffer all her life trying to please the guy who can't be faithful to one girl. I feel sorry for her, but she's all grown up now. I'm sure she better knows what to do. There's more to life that being tied up with someone who isn't worth it.