what would you do, if you see your bf doing this??

India
June 3, 2009 1:58am CST
It was a normal day, i talked to my bf as i usually do. He was tired at the end of the day because of work and all because of which he was sending those one word text messages.. which was irritating me. Then we ended up saying goodnight to each other..and suddenly there was another message from my bf mentioning 'hhmmm..do you know any good girl'?? I was like what?? i called him up and angrily asked what was it?? He said he was kidding with one of his friends, which was hard to believe for me. Next day we had a fight, he said u don't trust me. He was more angry on the way i spoke to him, he was like there are 100 other ways of sorting out a problem instead of yelling at each other. How can i be so calm reading something like this?? We are in relationship from past 2 years.. i don't know how to take it.. was it really a joke or something else??
9 people like this
34 responses
• Malaysia
3 Jun 09
You need to talk to him to get things clearer. Perhaps there is some misunderstanding in between. Have a talk when he is no longer in angry mood. If he is really looking for another girl, i think he would not even tell you a single word about do you know any good girl thingy. I understand he is not supposed to say something like that as it is really sensitive. Perhaps he was really just kidding. Talk to him to make thing clear.
3 people like this
@suryacool (106)
• India
3 Jun 09
Being a boy, i want to tell you that, don't take any hasty steps. Give time to each other. Talk about it and understand each other. Don't bring any negative thoughts as it will spoil your mood and may end your relationship also. Tell him that you were hurt by that text message. Both of you try not to fight. Lastly, have a happy relationship and wishing u all the best for ur future
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
3 Jun 09
Hi, i hate when man do this kind of things. They are not serious. I was in same situation, well almost, when somebody just play with words. And i hate this. I receive some words like this too,and i was really mad and sad. A relation must to be much more, not just few words who make you nervious. If somebody know the words value, never use words just to make jokes
3 people like this
• United States
3 Jun 09
That does sound like a fishy situation. Since you've been with him for two years, I'd say you know him better then we do. I'd keep checking his text messages though.
2 people like this
@soulist (2987)
• United States
3 Jun 09
I agree it sounds fishy to me. Why would he say something like that even if he was supposed to be "messing with a friend." I would be upset about it as well. I wouldn't check his messages continuously. Maybe like when he isn't around, but don't get caught. I am not a fan of chcecking messages and he may just end up deleting them.
1 person likes this
@bamrahkirti (1819)
• India
3 Jun 09
Well it was a bad joke in bad taste.Your boyfriend should not have done this childish act.But your relationship has been going strong for the past two years ,it means you are compatible for each other.Do not let these mean and cheap things bother your relationship. You should give each other some time and try to figure out the problem and its solution. I wish you best of luck.
@queennee (189)
• Philippines
4 Jun 09
hi,sometimes if we trully love the guy,we always have negative thoughts..like what if he will leave me,if he finds someone more attractive than me?if he's not around us,we thought of what if he's fooling around with other hot chick?and so many what if's? right?and i understand that,coz we always want to have a happy endings in every relationship that we are into.but becoz of these feelings,we are so sensitive that even if the smallest things that our partners did or have done,we always look at it as their faults or they're cheating on us.sometimes we forget that they have feelings too.if its just the first time,then maybe its nothing,you can always feel it when its really true..2 years is something that the two of you should cherish and work it hard to last for good. :).an open communication,confrontation in a cool way really helps sort things out..good day!
1 person likes this
• India
4 Jun 09
Hi Queenee I agree to all what you said..moreover this happened for the very first time..We are into a serious kind of relationship ..so i think i should give him another chance..I am very sure he is not fooling me around..
1 person likes this
@glesil_00 (1147)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
I don't like that kind of words from my partner. Either it is a mere joke or a serious one, i take it seriously and i am mad at it secretly. The question that will pop up on my mind is, why he's doing it? Are that joke that be done without considering something, the feelings of a person he's sending in it. I see it as a play in the relationship, and i see it also that my partner is not so serious in the relationship.
• United States
3 Jun 09
See with something like that it's hard to tell. He could very well be joking because you don't know the entire conversation he was having with his friend. It could be taken out of context and alone that question sounds terrible. You should try to calm down (as much as you can) and talk to him about it. Let him know that joking around like that isn't cool at all and how it makes you feel. If he can't respect your feelings and is not taking you seriously then you might want take furthur steps.
1 person likes this
@payout (3722)
• United States
3 Jun 09
I don't think my BF will ever do that to me. I tell him when you do things lets which parts. How would have he felt if you text a friend saying do you know any guys I would like.? How would he feel about that? I try to treat people the way I would like to be treated and do things for them the way I would like it to be done. If your BF is interested in other people, then just think.. yeah it's hard when a person that loves you will think or try to do something like that. There are ways to make your relationship stronger. Trust me.
• Philippines
7 Jun 09
i think you should talk seriously, like my bf..sometimes he do the same like your bf does,but he explains to me that it's just for fun and i have nothing to worry about.. if he's yelling at you, you should tell him that he is the one who made the mistake and not you,i think it's his strategy to get out of the issue (and sometimes i do..hehehe) my advice to you is do the reverse psychology, let him do what he want (but not until he forgets to care about you) and maybe he will be guilty of what he is doing C: take care!
@andresimp (818)
• India
5 Jun 09
i totally agree with you. if it was me, i would doubt if he is not interested in me any more, considering the fact that he sent one word messages before he sent the wrong message to you. Anyways in my opinion, since he got angry the way u spoke and said there are several ways to sort out the problem, he is considering you and wants you to calm down and sort the problem.. so, probably he was joking. get things cleared instead of arguing. even if you get convinced easily then guys would take advantage of it next time when something happens. so be neutral.. dont go to the extremes.
@andresimp (818)
• India
5 Jun 09
i completelty agree with would. i would get upset if my bf did this to me. if you get easily convinced, they would take advantage of it next time when it happens. so yelling at him may not be the solution.. there could be just 2 reasons, 1. he would have sent that message to you by mistake since he messaged you last, 2. he would have sent it to you on purpose to make you feel jealous. if it was for the first reason, you should ask him what was it about. i understand how you would have felt after seeing that message.if it was me, i would doubt that may be he is not interested in me anymore,when something unsual happens in the relationship.
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
5 Jun 09
I hope it was a joke! The best way is to sit him down and have a talk to him about the way he made you feel. How did you manage to receive a message destined for his friend? Was it a mistake? Let’s not forget that young guys are amused by comments like that. I hope it was just a misunderstanding and that you sort it out.
• Senegal
5 Jun 09
First i understand how u feel, if he was just kidding according to him ,well it wasn't a good joke anyway. Relationship is a case sensitive.
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
so what if you're already past 2 years? some old lady told me that girls shouldn't over-react to a guy when they're in gf/bf stage... she said one can't say that the guy is "COMMITTED" to you... since, you two aren't really married... something like that... anyways, that old lady is a hypocrite so i don't really care to what she just said. Maybe you're boyfriend is at that stage already...where in he feels fed up from the long relationship with you... or well it could be something else :) Guys can be jerks at all times, and if you can understand him... well just understand him then... *Men can easily give trusts to us, but can't give loyalty. But women on the other hand, can easily be loyal to men, but can't give trust.*
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
I think you should talk things out with your boyfriend. You should know clearly what he wants. He might be worn out with your relationship, and looking for someone new. We never could tell, except your boyfriend and you if you could talk to him about this. But don't talk when you are angry. Compose yourself and say what you really feel about this. Try not to attack him with hateful words. Just be calm and sweet. He might be thinking something fishy, but I hope you can make him think otherwise.
@loneleaf (166)
• China
5 Jun 09
Hi, I think you should keep calm to talk with him about this thing, in other words, as a man, I don't like the way you react. If I were your gf, I'd rather have a sleep or take a rest before you ask me so big question, as you know, when a person is very tired, he would esier to get angry and always behave more testily. Blackyedpeas, I advise you have a big and clear talk with him when you and he all have a spare time, maybe there is only a misunderstanding.And you say he was very tired these days, maybe he has pressure of work and others, try to give him a relax rather than press him for this problem.Hope you have a good and happy talk
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
4 Jun 09
Girl, i would keep my eyes on that boy.
@moondancer (7434)
• United States
4 Jun 09
It sounds to me like he sent the message to the wrong person. It as possibly meant for someone else. I would suggest that you keep going as you are unless you have proof it was meant for another person. However, I would do just as I want to do. I would do what I needed to for me to be happy. My decisions not reflect what he would think about this or that. Think of him but don't make everything about him. It's possible that you may not be with him next year. Maybe you will but you need to show him that you won't be walked on. You don't really have to say a word. Just don't cancel plans you had made just because he wants to do something else. Start doing things that you ant to do, if you want to ask if he wants to do it with you that's fine. But if he does not want to do what ever it is then you do it without him. It's like okay, I just wanted to see if you wanted to go, I'll see you or talk to you later. And go.
@tashakau (133)
• Canada
4 Jun 09
I am sorry to say this but since he was texting his friends I think that he sent you a text by accident and that text was meant for his friend. I think that you should talk to him to see if he is a serious about this relationship as you are. The next day he blamed it on you saying, you dont trust him. I would explain to him calmly that you think that this text was meant for someone else. Find out what is going on as soon as possible and do not waste your time if he is not serious!